by Noelle Adams
***
Three hours later, she was leaving Jace’s apartment. It wasn’t even six in the morning yet, and the building was utterly silent.
Which was why she gave a little jump when someone appeared from the door to the stairwell.
“Oh,” Isabella said, catching her breath as she recognized the woman. “Mrs. Berry! Good morning.”
“I’m sorry to startle you, dear,” Estelle said with a smile. She wore a blue silk scarf around her head, tied just under her chin, but the outline of curlers wasclear beneath the fabric. “I didn’t expect anyone to be up at this time.”
“You’re up and about early.” Isabella smiled as she held the front door for the old woman.
“Yes. I like to go to the grocery store at this time of day. They’re open twenty-four hours now, and it’s so nice to shop without all the swarms of old folks filling the aisles. You would not believe how slow some of these people are! Standing for hours trying to figure out which loaf of bread is cheapest, while they’re blocking the aisle with their cart. Then they all want to chit-chat with me. I’m there to shop!” Estelle clucked her tongue and shook her head. “I like to go early to avoid all the old folks.”
Isabella couldn’t help but giggle as they made their way to the parking lot. “Perfectly understandable.”
“But what are you doing here at this time, young lady?” Estelle asked, turning her head to eye Jace’s window in the apartment building with unerring accuracy.
Feeling a flush of embarrassment, Isabella managed to hedge around the question. “I have to be into work early today.”
“I see. So are you still playing the field?”
Playing the field wasn’t exactly how Isabella would described her search for a man, but she didn’t bother to correct the phrase. “I… I guess.”
“Don’t you know?”
“It’s complicated.”
“It’s never as complicated as young people make it. Let me ask you this. What exactly do you want?”
It was the same question Jace had asked her a few hours ago, and Isabella answered it in much the same way. “I want a lot of things, but one of them is to get married and have a family.”
Estelle nodded. They were standing next to the driver’s door of her big tank of a sedan, but she didn’t get into it yet. Instead, she said, “Then my advice to you is not to settle for anything less.”
“I’m…I’m not planning to.”
“Good. Because that’s not always the case, you know. I see so many young ladies just taking crumbs from young men because they’re too afraid to insist on what they really want. And the young men just keep offering crumbs because they can get what they want without giving anything more. And how can you blame them? If they can get what’s easy and fun without making any effort, then why would they step up?”
Isabella had always liked Estelle, but she’d always done so in a slightly amused way. She wasn’t amused now, though. The words hit her hard, in a way she hadn’t expected. She swallowed. “I… yeah.”
Estelle glanced back toward the window in Jace’s apartment visible from the parking lot. “Don’t settle for crumbs when you want the whole loaf of bread.”
“I won’t.”
Jace had never offered Isabella nothing but crumbs. He’d always been so good and sensitive and generous. But maybe she was settling for them anyway because she was too confused and scared to really think through—or talk through—what she wanted.
Estelle reached out and patted Isabella on the arm. “I’m glad to hear it, dear.”
***
That evening, Isabella dropped by Jace’s apartment after work, determined to have a real conversation—the one they’d started the night before it had gotten interrupted.
Jace had obviously been working on a stool at the kitchen bar because his laptop and papers were spread out all over the granite counter. He pulled his glasses off as he let her into the apartment. “I wasn’t expecting you so early,” he said with a smile.
She smiled back. She’d been resolute before, but now that she saw him, all cute and rumpled and questioning, her throat started to tighten.
What was she thinking? What kind of guy would be happy about a girl showing up on his doorstep, insisting on having a state-of-the-relationship talk?
If Jace wanted more than sex from her, he would have told her.
He’d never lied to her before. He wasn’t going to start lying to her now.
Her sisters were right. Jace had had years to tell her if he had the slightest interest in anything romantic with her. He obviously never had before. And if he was starting to now, he would have let her know. She’d given him a perfectly good opportunity to confess any growing feelings last night, and he’d made it clear that all he wanted was friendship and sex.
And that was fine. It was fine.
She wanted a husband, and that obviously was never going to be Jace.
It didn’t have to be.
She could find someone else.
And if she couldn’t at the moment imagine any other man knowing and caring for her the way Jace did, if she couldn’t imagine wanting to open up her heart to any other man the way she did with Jace, and if she couldn’t imagine enjoying sex more with any other man than she did with Jace, then eventually she would realize she was wrong.
She couldn’t destroy her friendship with Jace. She just couldn’t.
“What is it?” Jace asked, when she just stood there like an idiot.
She took a ragged breath, and the word that came out was, “Nothing.”
He cocked his head and peered at her.
Afraid he would see some of what she was thinking, she put down her bag and took three steps closer so she could press herself against him. “I’ve just been wanting to do this all day.”
It was true. She did want to kiss him. She did want him to start touching her.
And that was so much safer than pressing an issue that may blow up in both of their faces.
He chuckled and took her head in both of his hands, kissing her until she was breathless. “Me too.”
***
After a few minutes, Jace carried her over to the couch, pulling up her skirt so she could wrap her legs around him and he could sink inside her.
They made love like that, urgent and mostly dressed, until both of them had reached climax. Afterwards, they lay together on the couch, wrapped up in each other. And Isabella tried to assure herself that everything was fine.
This was just a phase they were going through. Eventually, they’d have to stop having sex, and they could go back to being friends the way they were.
The worst thing she could do was put pressure on Jace and make him think she wanting more from him. That was the one thing that would definitely ruin their friendship for good.
Jace didn’t want her that way.
If he did, he would have told her.
He’d always been honest with her.
She could trust him completely, and he would have told her if he wanted more from their relationship.
She needed to stop stressing about this and just accept the world the way it was. Jace was her friend. Some other man would have to be her husband.
“Idiot,” a voice burst out from the corner of the living room. “Idiot!”
She gasped and stretched her neck to see Beau glaring at them from his cage.
“Idiot!” Beau squawked again.
Relieved at the distraction, Isabella giggled. “What have you been teaching him to say?”
“I haven’t taught him anything,” Jace replied in a dry, aggrieved voice. “He just gets a word in his head and keeps saying it.”
“But why have you been calling him an idiot? He’s really very smart.”
“I haven’t been calling him an idiot.”
She stroked his back, under his shirt. She loved the feel of his warm, firm skin. “Then who have you been calling an idiot? He’s obviously heard you say it.”
For a moment, Jace
was very still. Then he laughed and sat up, pulling his pants back up and fastening them. “Maybe I’ve mentioned it to him a time or two.”
“Well, you need to be nicer to him. He’s a very smart little fellow.”
“Fell-o. Fell-o. Idiot!”
She laughed and smoothed down her skirt.
“You want to hang out this evening?” Jace asked. “We could do dinner or…”
She sighed and shook her head. It was exactly what she wanted to do, but she knew it would be a mistake. She couldn’t start feeling too domestic with Jace. Having sex. Making dinner. Going to sleep together. That would be the most dangerous thing she could do to her own feelings. “I better not. I told my mom I’d come over and help her clean out her refrigerator.”
“Sounds like an exciting evening.”
“It will be okay. She usually gives me all the cookies and fudge she’s been hoarding, so it’s worth it.”
“Well, give me a call later on.”
“I will.” She stood up, feeling slightly sore and quite debauched, after having a quickie on the couch the way they just had.
She’d never felt debauched before. It was an entirely new feeling.
But not really a bad one.
***
She was pulling into her parents’ driveway when her phone rang. She grabbed it, thinking it might be Jace.
When she saw it was Cliff, she felt a drop of her heart.
She shouldn’t be disappointed. They’d had a decent date, and she’d been kind of surprised when he hadn’t called her back. But here he was calling after all.
She had more potential for a future with Cliff than with Jace. She needed to accept that and move on.
She connected the call and greeted him with a little small talk. Then he asked, “Are you busy tonight? I thought we could maybe grab a cup of coffee if you’re interested.”
“Well, I was actually going to help my mom clean her refrigerator.”
Cliff laughed. “Is that an excuse? I’m sorry I didn’t call before, but I’ve been out of town.”
She should be excited. He hadn’t been blowing her off. He was interested in her. He was a good guy, a good catch.
Good potential.
Way more potential than Jace.
“It wasn’t an excuse. It was the truth. But I’m sure my mom won’t mind waiting until tomorrow. Where did you want to meet?”
An hour later, she was heading to a coffee shop in town to meet Cliff, telling herself over and over again that this was for the best.
Coffee with Cliff might turn into something else, and they’d all be happier that way.
Twelve
It wasn’t often that Jace found himself walking around town on his own. Isabella or maybe one of his co-workers was normally with him. But after Isabella had left him earlier, he had felt unsettled and more than a little hungry. Dinner seemed like the logical choice, but he had nothing at home that interested him, and all of the good places didn’t deliver.
So there he was. Walking around town. Alone.
It wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t as if he was walking around with a neon sign announcing he was a loser. He waved to Mr. Martin, who owned the hardware store. Then he smiled and said a quick hello to Mrs. Jennings, who worked as a cashier at the diner. Just as he was about to cross the street, he spotted a familiar figure.
Isabella.
Only she wasn’t alone.
What the…
Jace froze in his tracks as he zeroed in on who was with her, and he felt like he might be sick.
Cliff.
She’d just left his bed—well, his couch—and immediately afterwards she went out on a damn date with Cliff?
What the hell?
A car approaching had him jumping back on the sidewalk, and luckily there was a tree that he could step behind to make sure Isabella and Cliff didn’t see him. Cliff was holding the door of the coffee shop open for her, and she smiled at him as she walked inside.
Now what? What was he supposed to do? Stand there and watch them through the window? Keep track of how long they stayed inside? Or was he supposed to storm across the street and demand that she leave with him?
“Jace?”
He turned and spotted one of his neighbors, Chris, walking toward him with a smile on his face. Sure. And why wouldn’t Chris be smiling? He was engaged to Heather, the woman of his dreams, and they were planning their wedding and almost too happy to be around.
Not that Jace would admit that to his friend.
“Hey, Chris,” he said casually. “What’s up?”
Chris looked at him and then across the street, to the tree and then back to Jace. “Are you hiding from someone?”
“What?” Jace croaked. He cleared his throat. “I mean, uh, no. I was… I was just trying to decide where I wanted to grab some takeout from, that’s all.”
The look on Chris’s face showed that he didn’t really believe him. “And you were thinking of the coffee shop? Because if you were, I can offer some other suggestions that would be a lot better.”
Jace chuckled and shook his head. “No. I’m good. Really. I just saw… I mean, I noticed…”
“Isabella?”
Shit. Why deny it?
“Yeah.”
Chris nodded, his expression surprisingly understanding for such a no-nonsense guy. “Things okay with you two?”
“Honestly? No.”
“Want to talk about it?”
Did he? Not particularly. And especially not here on the street. “Thanks, but not really.”
Chris nodded again. “I get it. But you helped me when I was in a bad way, so if I can help at all…”
“I appreciate that.”
They stood there for a minute, and then Chris straightened and let out a breath. “Well I need to go. I’m picking up some Chinese for me and Heather. Which, by the way, would be my recommendation for you as well. I’ll see you around.”
At first Jace didn’t say anything. He just waved. But then he heard himself asking, “Hey, Chris?”
“Yeah?”
“When Heather was dating other guys—you know, before the two of you hooked up—did it bother you?”
Raking a hand through his hair, Chris looked around, and then walked back over to Jace. “Yeah, it bothered me. It bothered me a lot. I even tried sabotaging some of her dates.” He paused, and then it was as if a switch was flipped. “Oh, that’s it. Isabella’s out with someone, isn’t she?”
Jace nodded. “At the coffee shop.”
“And?”
“And it’s pissing me off,” Jace admitted reluctantly. He didn’t want to admit to everything he and Isabella had been doing, but he really needed some input to help him keep his shit together. “Let’s just say that I thought things were… progressing between the two of us, and then I find her going out with this guy.”
“I see.”
“So what am I supposed to do? It’s not like we’re a couple or anything but—”
“But you want to be.”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
“And does she know this?”
“I thought she did. But now? I guess not.”
“Dude, you’ve got to talk to her about it. Don’t go on the attack or anything, maybe invite her to dinner—something casual—and just… lay it out there. You guys have been friends for too long to screw things up with jealousy. If you’ve got feelings for her—and I know you do—then stop waiting around. Tell her.”
He let out a ragged sigh. Chris was right. It was time. He couldn’t go on like this. They couldn’t go on like this.
“Thanks. You’re right. I’m gonna do it. Tonight.”
Chris smiled and nodded. “Good. Keep me posted.”
“I will. Now go and get your Chinese food and tell Heather I said hello.”
“Will do.” This time, when Chris turned and walked away, Jace let him. He turned and focused his attention on the coffee shop again.
He couldn’t just walk over, barge
in, and invite her to dinner. That would just be awkward. And clearly she had lied to him about going to her parents’ house so…
Before he could second guess himself, he pulled out his phone and started typing.
In town. Saw you at the coffee house. I’m picking up Chinese. Dinner at 7. We need to talk.
He hit send before he could second-guess himself. He knew Isabella well enough to know she would read his text and not question it or try to back out. Not now that she knew she’d been caught in a lie.
Sliding the phone back into his pocket, he looked around and went to step out from behind the tree when he saw something crawl across his shoe.
A spider.
Without much thought, he stomped on it.
“Isabella’s not here, Jace. You could have let that one live.”
He looked up and saw Elise walking by with an armload of shopping bags and a big smile on her face.
“Just practicing!” he called out.
And with a lightness he couldn’t believe he felt, he turned and made his way to the Chinese restaurant.
***
At two minutes after seven, there was a knock at his door. Jace took a steadying breath and opened it. If anything, Isabella looked just as nervous as he felt.
“Hey,” she said quietly, clutching the strap to her purse in her hands.
“Hey. C’mon in.”
She stepped around him and walked right into the center of the living room—as if putting as much space between them as she could. Closing the door, Jace walked over to the kitchen table and motioned for Isabella to join him.
“Harder!” Beau squawked out.
Isabella gasped, her eyes going wide and her cheeks growing red.
Jace chuckled nervously. “Just… ignore him. He’s a damn nuisance.”
“Isn’t Erin supposed to be back by now?”
“They’re staying longer than they planned. I’d sure like a job where I could take such a long vacation.” He was grumbling, mostly as a way of filling the awkward space between them.
“Blue dress!” the bird called out.
Jace groaned and tried to divert Isabella’s attention to the food. He’d gotten all their usual favorites—sesame chicken, Hunan shrimp, beef lo Mein and a couple of egg rolls. When Isabella walked over, he noticed that she wouldn’t meet his gaze directly. For now, he'd let that go. They’d eat first. Then he’d do his best to get to the bottom of whatever it was that they were doing in this relationship.
