Lost Fallen Angel: A Back Down Devil MC Romance

by London Casey

  I could feel it.

  This was the beginning of goodbye.

  I believed the notion of him meeting with his club for a while, but it started to get old and fast. I woke up with the full intention to confront Max, wanting to know why after leaving me as a puddle of orgasmic goo in my shower, he took off and I hadn’t seen him in days.

  Except after having my morning coffee I rushed to the bathroom and threw it back up. I sat on the bathroom floor, touching my stomach, and my phone started to go off. I reached for it, praying for Max.

  It was Johnny.

  I should have ignored the call but paranoia was settling in like an old friend. I felt alone and I hated to feel alone. I hadn’t checked to see if the MC prospects were still outside my apartment. And even if they were, they were no match to Johnny and his crew.

  “Johnny,” I said, taking the call.

  “So you are alive,” he said.

  “What do you want?”

  “I want to finish this up,” he said. “This stuff between us. It has to end.”

  “Yeah?” I let my head fall back against the cool wall of the bathroom.

  “Definitely. Look how far it’s come, Jade. You’re on the run, hiding. You got the motorcycle club all tangled up. It’s getting too personal.”

  “I agree,” I said.

  I smiled for a second. Maybe Johnny had met his match. Maybe he was afraid of Max and Back Down Devil MC. Maybe—

  “I’m calling our deal off,” he said, breaking my thought.

  “Meaning …”

  “You don’t owe me anything else with hacking,” he said. “You did great, Jade.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously,” Johnny said.

  “I don’t know what to say right now.”

  “Just pick a spot to meet.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “You and me,” Johnny said. “Well, and some others.”

  “For what?”

  “The liver.”

  “The—what?”

  “I want it back,” Johnny said. “I helped your father and you fucked me. So the deal is off. I’m going to take back what I gave you. I’m going to personally cut your fucking belly open wide and rip your liver out with my bare hands.”

  I hung up the call. I glanced at the toilet and jumped for it.

  I threw up again.

  I thought it was out of fear … but I couldn’t be more wrong.

  I sat on the corner of Max’s bed.

  Thanks to Johnny’s threat, I was granted time back in the clubhouse. I worked with Cade and we pursued Johnny’s finances, taking enough to get his attention. That meant everyone needed to be accounted for. Nobody left or came to the clubhouse without approval. Other men came to the clubhouse, too. They had accents—Russian?—and they argued with Trev, Jasper, and Max.

  Oh, and the stomach bug I had? It became a reoccurring stomach bug. Every morning between the hours of seven and ten. I tried to ignore it, especially when I had a three-day stretch that nothing happened. But inside—instinctually? I just knew …

  The door blasted open and Max came in.

  “How long have you been sitting there?” he asked.

  “Since you left.”

  “Why? You look like a dog. Just waiting for its master.”

  I swallowed hard. “That’s real nice to hear. Asshole.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “How about some answers?” I shouted. “You’ve been cold to me since that day you went to find your motorcycle. I’m sorry they put a bomb on it, Max. I’m sorry that you gave it to me. I’m sorry that you trusted me.”

  Max shook his head. “That’s not it. I’m mad at myself for letting all this happen. These goddamn feelings.”

  “So treat me like a dog?”

  “Why don’t you start by telling me the truth,” he said. He crossed his arms.

  “About what?”

  “I’m trying to keep my fucking focus on this club right now. Trying to find out who is coming after us. But when we met with Don and Ruley, it was very clear that you and Johnny had another arrangement that started before your father.”

  I hung my head. Shit. “Max—”

  “So that’s true?”

  “I don’t know what they told you …”

  “More than you did.”

  I stood up. “I was desperate. My father needed a couple treatments and we had nothing. I sold everything I could. I was still short. So I took a little.”

  “You stole.”

  “Fine. I stole. I’m a criminal like you, Max.”

  “So this started before your father?”

  “You could say that,” I admitted. “My boss’s boss had a friend and that friend owed Johnny something.”

  “Christ,” Max said and he rubbed his chin. “This is just one big circle jerk, isn’t it? Round and round it goes. And you’re sucked right into the middle.”

  “I didn’t know what I was doing,” I said. “Damn you for making me feel like this.”

  “Like what? Guilt eating you alive?”

  “Fine. I got busted for trying to steal. Trying. Johnny helped me. All I had to do was pretend to be his girlfriend for a little while. But nothing happened between us. Okay? We played the part—”

  “You kiss him?”

  “What does that matter?”

  “I asked a question, sweetheart.”

  “Yes. When I had to. In public. But as things go for a guy like Johnny, girlfriends don’t last. And from what I’ve heard, when girlfriends become wives, the men go get new girlfriends on the side. So when things cooled off between us, it wasn’t a big deal. He gave me the money I needed for my father’s medicines. I saw an opportunity and ran at it.”

  “That led into the hacking and—”

  “That led into the surgery debacle.”

  Max shook his head. “And that’s the entire story?”

  “A to Z.”

  Max gritted his teeth. “We have his full attention now, Jade. His family’s too.”

  “What’s next?”

  “That’s up to the vote. This is complicated for the club and the town.”

  “Max, I never lied to you.”

  “You never told me the entire story.”

  “I—”

  “I don’t care,” he said. “Right now I’m more worried about what’s next.”

  “Between us?”

  “Between me and the fucking world, sweetheart.”

  He slid away from the dresser and I dove at him. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  “What does that matter?”

  “To me, it does. You were something to me, Max. I watched you that night beat up that guy in the road. I was on my porch almost ready to drop to my knees and pray for help. Then you showed up. Left your motorcycle on the side of my house. And you came back and kissed me. My first ever kiss.”

  “We can roll down memory lane some other time,” Max said. “Right now I need to find a way to save everyone from this mess. You know, I could have done nothing. Walked the fuck away. But I gave you my ride.”

  “Don’t put this on me. You fell in love with me.”

  “And you fell in love with me,” Max said.

  “So where does that take us?”

  “It takes me to the table to vote this shit out.”

  Max hesitated before he turned and left the room.

  Without even so much as a kiss goodbye.

  28

  (max)

  The gavel sounded louder than normal. It boomed like a crack of thunder and echoed as though it were in a canyon. Prez stood up and resting his fists on the table. The votes were in. The orders had been given. There was only action at this point. All of us, working together as one outlaw unit, to defeat an enemy we weren’t sure the truth of just yet.

  There was silence for a few moments.

  We all considered what exactly was about to transpire.

  I
wasn’t sure what my brothers were thinking. Maybe about their last drink. Their last woman. Maybe finding a few minutes to squeeze in something crazy.

  For me, it was all Jade.

  I owed her an apology. Not giving me the full story was something she’d have to bear on her soul, but it was in the open now. Truth of it all was that, without all the information, I couldn’t protect her the way she deserved to be protected. I was angry for not knowing the truth. And part of me was jealous. Yeah, the wild outlaw feeling a sting of jealousy. Jealous of what? That she didn’t trust me enough with the truth. That she was holding back because of something someone else did to her in life.

  Fuck, I wanted to be her everything.

  And I was ready to fucking fight for that.

  For my brothers. For my club.

  For my girl.

  I slammed my hands to the table and stood up.

  I looked at Cade and nodded.

  He and I were up for this part.

  It was time to win the battle… or maybe just start a war.

  We all went to the bar for one more drink. We rarely did that before hitting the road, but these were different circumstances. Yeah, there was time to spare before all hell would break loose, but if anything went wrong or was picked up, hell would be rushing straight to the clubhouse.

  I threw back a beer and patted Jasper on the back. “VP.”

  “Max,” he said.

  “We’ve done some crazy shit before, huh?”

  “This is all the same,” Jasper said. “Don’t forget that.”

  “I’ve got an extra variable in the situation.”

  “Brother, that’s for you to discuss with yourself and figure out.”

  “Sorry I wanted to fight you before. You were just protecting the club. I was protecting Jade.”

  “If we start apologizing for wanting to fight each other, then we’ll all be apologizing for days and days,” Jasper said. “You love that woman, you take care of her. If she’s a great piece of ass and you could live without her—help her get away. If she’s got any potential of harming this club, then you throw her to the wolves and let her fight for herself.”

  “That simple?”

  “Words are simple,” Jasper said. “Actions are hard. Words could be covered up with more words. Action present consequences. And consequences require—”

  “More action,” I said. “Well said.”

  “There’s pussy everywhere,” Jasper said. “But if there’s something in your heart. That’s rare.”

  I nodded to the VP and walked away. At a pool table, Prez was there with Cash, Austin, and Trent. They were leaned forward, discussing what the first step forward in this should be.

  I needed a breather. Challenging the Dorlio family was a big deal. While we weren’t going straight up to the head of the family, taking on a nephew was risky. Even if the nephew was a piece of shit who had been exiled by the rest of the family.

  Cade popped out of nowhere and offered me a beer.

  I took it and he pointed to the hallway. “Let’s talk. I’ve got some of the supplies already lined up.”

  “Damn, you strike fast,” I said.

  “We already did strike,” Cade said. “We froze up some of his cash. He’s either going to hit back or run to his family. So it’s important we hit again and soon. Make our position very clear.”

  “Agreed.”

  “That’s why I want to talk to you about something.”

  Cade opened the door to his room and we went inside. I shut the door and leaned against it. I took a drink of my beer and watched as Cade started to pace.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Jade.”

  “What about Jade?”

  “I know she wasn’t exactly honest with you,” Cade said. “Do you think we can trust her now?”

  “You want to know the truth about her?” I asked.

  “Yes. Because if anything goes wrong, one of us is going to end up dead, brother. I’m not trying to talk you out of anything. But for the sake of the club—”

  I put a hand up. “You’re right, Cade. Club comes first, right? That’s how we live. That’s why we put on the leather cut. Why we do what we do here.” I took another swig of my beer. I rubbed my chin. I thought long and hard about Jade.

  “Let me ask you something,” Cade said. “If she were to disappear—what would that mean to you?”

  I stared at my brother and felt the seconds tick by.

  It shouldn’t have been that way.

  It should have been an instant answer.

  “Cade, here’s the truth …”

  29

  (jade)

  Sitting around was no longer an option for me. I wanted to show Max and the club that I could be of some use. I had helped get into some of Johnny’s personal finances. Now I could help even more. I started to formulate a plan as I walked the room like a caged animal. I bit my fingernails until they were uneven stubs, and I only stopped because I accidentally bit my finger and yelped in pain.

  But it seemed pretty easy.

  Johnny loved everything luxury. Everything luxury these days was tied to wi-fi and networks. I could track his cell, but chances were he didn’t have just one cell. Just like the MC, Johnny’s world operated in burner cells. But there was technology—his car. Don. Ruley. His other guys. Hell, even the other women he had working for him. I could help to track them all down and form some kind of army against Johnny.

  Or maybe go after his family. Go higher up on the ladder and try to get their attention. Maybe they didn’t realize what Johnny was doing. Or why. More importantly, there had to be some connection and way to find out who this Mr. Y was. That was the key to help saving the MC.

  I stopped dead in my tracks.

  “I got it,” I whispered.

  Holy shit, I had it.

  I needed Cade’s computer. I could hack into Johnny’s personal computer. I knew how to bust through his firewall. And with any luck there would be some kind of email exchange. No matter how encrypted or hidden, I could find it. I could do this.

  I bolted out of the room and ran down the hallway toward Cade’s room. My brain churned like a sleeping river coming back to life. I suddenly felt purpose flowing through me again. This would be my last stand with anything that represented illegal activities with technology.

  Almost instinctively, my right hand went to my stomach. No, there wasn’t any pain and my stomach wasn’t upset. We were beyond my mysterious morning illness. I was starting to round the bend of reality and possibility of what could be there.

  For the moment, I had to chase that away.

  Calculating how many times Max had fucked me and each of those times both of us being unprotected …

  I raised my fist and started to swing it toward Cade’s door.

  I stopped when I heard Max’s voice.

  “That’s what I know,” he said. “So, yeah, maybe she did fuck us.”

  “Not maybe,” Cade said. “She did. You know this game, Max. If she left out one thing, there’s probably two, three, four—”

  “I get the goddamn point.”

  “I don’t think you do. Taking her along right now could be a liability for us.”

  “So we just call up Johnny and say, come and get it?”

  “Brother, we’re in the game of distraction.”

  I gasped and stepped back. I could still hear their voices clear as day through the door.

  “I think you should really consider what you’re saying,” Max said.

  “I already have. You should do the same. If there’s anything else she’s hiding or worse yet, if shit she did that we don’t know about comes back on us? You’re talking a source of law we’re not used to. Not another motorcycle club or even a mob family.”

  “Yeah, I get it, Cade,” Max said. “You don’t get—”

  “You want to fall for this chick? You want to take her to the grave? That’s fine. But you end up in a prison cell, you’ve got nothing. The f
reedom we fight for is worth dick. I’m not going to sit in a cell for the rest of my life and rot. I’m going to fight and stay alive. If the reaper grabs me, Max, it’ll be by my own doing.”

  Then there was silence.

  Max wasn’t sticking up for me. He wasn’t saying a damn thing at all.

  “You know what I’m going to say,” Max said. “I’ve made my points very clear to everything in this club.”

  But not me, Max. Tell me. Tell me right now.

  “Good,” Cade said. “As long as the focus is there.”

  “I’m fucking focused. Everyone is focused, Cade.”

  “And what about Jade?”

  “She knows her spot,” Max said. “And, trust me, when the time comes, I’ll know how to handle her. She won’t be a liability anymore.”

  I froze for a second.

  It was either barge into the room and demand to know what the fuck Max meant by all his comments or I could run the other way back to the room and pretend nothing happened.

  A third option presented itself and that was one I couldn’t pass up.

  I ran back to the room, grabbed my bag and my keys, and I got out of the clubhouse. It took some serious ninja-type moves to sneak around the side of the clubhouse and get to my car. I escaped by lying to the prospects, telling them that Max wanted me to go to my apartment because it was safer. They were different prospects than the others and they ate it right up. Especially when I threatened to get Max involved if they didn’t let me go.

  The second I was on the street, I was free. Sort of.

  I was alone.

  Well, not exactly alone.

  I touched my stomach and knew I needed to get a pregnancy test.

  I had a secret spare key in my apartment. It was hidden under my mattress. When I first met Johnny there had been some serious heat on me for what I had tried to do. Authorities and the higher-ups in my company wanted to meet with me to discuss how I broke into their system. Johnny told me it was a trap to get me. Arrest me. Kill me. Whatever.

  Johnny gave me a key with a white piece of paper taped to it. He took me to the apartment once to show me around. It was a piece of shit place, beat up, run down, and definitely did not fit in with the image he gave off. It was the perfect place to try and hide. Which is what he used it for.

  He gave me they key and told me to use it for emergencies. The mess with my old company blew over and I fell deeper into the pit of Johnny’s madness. I forgot about the key and I guess Johnny did too.