Wild Heart

by Kade Boehme

  Jase looked up so he could see Deputy Hall’s face.

  “What’s up, Deputy?”

  “Mr. Asani is complaining of stomach pains. He was fine when he came in. Paramedics cleared him earlier, and I can’t tell if he’s faking or if he really needs to go to the hospital.”

  Jase sighed. It was always a fifty-fifty chance. Regulations said, though, better to err on the side of caution. Especially since not doing so could lead to lawsuits, and a tiny outfit like theirs had a small enough budget without having to lay people off to pay a drunk driver because they’d neglected to get him signed off by a doc. “Deputy Miller didn’t escort him?”

  “No, she stayed to supervise the scene. I did pick up.”

  Jase clenched his jaw. “You should have taken him directly to University. How long’s it been?”

  Deputy Hall’s fair cheeks flushed. “Two hours. We did booking to put him in county and I questioned him. I can take him now.”

  “No,” Jase said, resigned, but glad to have something to do other than sit. “I’ll take him down. I heard Deputy Roland banging around the break room so he’ll be on in a minute. Sheriff’s in his office. You can start on the paperwork…” Jase waved his hands exasperated. “The paperwork for this.”

  Deputy Hall nodded and Jase asked, “Mr. Asani, you said?”

  “Yes. Parmender Asani.”

  Jase walked to the interview room where the small, portly man was sitting at a metal table, cuffed to the bolted-down chair he was sitting in. He clutched his stomach pitifully. Jase felt for him, because his hue was decidedly paler than was healthy. “Mr. Asani,” Jase said, as he un-cuffed the man’s hands from the chair and cuffed them together. “I’m Deputy Emery. We’re gonna go for a ride.”

  “I can’t get in a car. I can’t sit,” Mr. Asani said, weakly. The way his knees almost buckled, Jase believed him. Damn it all.

  “Okay. Let me call an ambulance over. You need anything?” After the man asked for water, Jase made his way out, glared at Hall, and asked Jan to get an ambulance to roll in. He took a bottled water to Mr. Asani, who’d run his fingers through his sparse black and grey hair so it stuck in many directions. He looked slightly deranged, in pain, and still a bit drunk.

  Finally the ambulance came, and they took the man to University Hospital down the road. Jase had ridden with the old man and escorted them into the hospital. He hadn’t really been worried the man was a flight risk in his condition, but again, protocol.

  When the doctor came by and eyed him standing by the door, he explained everything, as he knew it. Jase felt like he’d been there for hours, standing guard duty like a rent-a-cop, until the doctor came out to inform Jase that after extensive tests they’d found the man was extremely hungover and had a bad stomach ulcer from drinking too much. If the doctor’s sardonic tone was unprofessional, Jase wouldn’t take note of it. Though he did smile as the doc wandered off.

  What felt like another long while passed before squeaking shoes got close enough to Jase in the hall. It’d been silent on his end of the wing so long, the sound practically echoed on the linoleum and cinder block.

  Jase smiled and gave a nod to Deputy Erin Miller whose tired face looked every one of her fifty years. Though he’d never say as much to her. But even he looked older than he should when long shifts happened. “See you had some excitement,” she said, by way of greeting.

  “You could call it that. Talk to Hall?”

  She shook her head like a disappointed mother. “That boy, I swear. I remind myself daily ‘Erin, you were once that green. You were absolutely once that green’.”

  “No. You weren’t.”

  She snorted inelegantly, then said without pause, “Never, ever in my life.” They both laughed. “Prognosis?” she asked.

  “Oh, he’ll be fine. After some carbs and some water.” At her raised brow he huffed. “Hangover. Some other drinking related stomach shit. He’ll live.”

  “Good, so I can take him to county when they’re done?”

  “You want me to?” Jase asked.

  She shook her head, her greying ponytail wagging. “No. Won’t put you through that. I’ve got piles of summations to work on over this, so I may as well do the honors.”

  “Excellent,” he said. He stretched, thinking how nice it’d be to get out of the hospital. He’d seen quite enough of them in the last few weeks that spending the last three hours there had been none too fun.

  “If you wait for the doc to sign off on him, I’ll give you a ride back to the department.”

  “Sure. Let me go see if I can round him up.”

  “Thanks,” she said, and opened the door to the room, her authoritative tone in full force as she called Mr. Asani’s name. Jase did not envy the man.

  Jase walked down to the nurses’ station he’d seen when he’d been brought up with the prisoner. A couple of nurses were typing away on the computers, one gossiped with the other by a cart of patient charts, and a couple of men seemed to be in a deep conversation on the far side of the nurses’ station. Jase cleared his throat to get the attention of the nurse closest to him, a kindly, older nurse whose nametag read Vernice.

  “Hello, ma’am,” he said, removing his hat. She smiled sweetly, and he had to smile back at the hat trick, yet again, working like a charm.

  “Hello, officer. What can I do for you?”

  The men in the corner drew Jase’s attention briefly with their snorting giggles. The one with his back to Jase was tickling Jase’s senses, but he couldn’t figure out why. He was wearing the darker scrubs, like the doctors, a long sleeve shirt worn under his top, with a leather jacket dangling from one hand. Jase didn’t think he knew any of the younger doctors. What with University being such a popular teaching hospital, the staff rotated enough that it’d be like trying to remember every one of the two thousand incoming freshmen at the university every year.

  “Officer?”

  “Oh,” Jase said, returning his gaze to her. “Sorry about that. I was wondering if you could please page Dr. Morse, ma’am. We need to get this prisoner to transport.”

  “Of course, sugar. He was just around here a minute ago, so he shouldn’t have gotten too far.”

  “Thank you, Miss Vernice.” Her thick ebony cheeks pinched her eyes closed as she smiled, pleased with him. Or humoring him. He’d take whichever, so long as he could get the fuck out of here soon. Good news was he only had four-and-a-half hours left of his shift since this whole ordeal had taken up a huge chunk of his morning.

  He turned to look out the glass doors directly across from the nurses’ area. Just a few steps through a waiting area and he could be outside, away from the sterile smells, the overly cold central air conditioning. He looked longingly at the pleasant day outside. Unless it’d heated up considerably, he bet it’d be a perfect day to have been out riding one of the horses on the ranch rather than cooped up doing work. He’d have to take time to do that at some point over the weekend. It wouldn’t kill him to take a few hours to do something leisurely that wasn’t indoors. In fact, he missed riding. A lot.

  He turned back when Vernice said, “Officer.”

  “Yes?”

  “He said he’ll be down in about five minutes. He’s not far, just upstairs.”

  “Thank—” Jase’s words were cut off.

  The man in the dark blue doctor scrubs had pulled up his shirt sleeves, revealing tattoos. Jase’s mind was click, click, clicking into place. He stood frozen, hand on the counter of the nurses’ station. Vernice may have asked if he was alright, but he couldn’t hear over the sounds in his head. No more click, click, clicking but the shuttering of a camera. The shuttering of a camera and the laughs that may have been coming from the man or from the ghost of the man in his mind. The shuttering of a camera and the sound of butterflies’ wings bursting as they flew off in his chest. How could he hear over the ghost of the sound of his heart as a hand was placed over it all those long years ago?

  Both men in scrubs must have
heard when Vernice asked again if Jase was okay, because the one in nurse’s scrubs looked at Jase with concern, taking a step forward. The man in dark blue scrubs turned and all those sounds silenced, even the sounds of the world currently surrounding them came to a sudden halt. Before the male nurse could move toward Jase, the man in dark scrubs put a hand out, halting the nurse, a look of shock and wonder on his face.

  “Ase,” Jase said, barely a whisper. How can you speak if you can’t breathe?

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” Ase said, in that horrible Texas accent. And Jase had to grip the counter to keep from running over and hugging the man.

  Or passing out.

  Ase came around from the other side of the nurses’ station, face morphing from wonder to happy to concern.

  “Are you alright?” He held a hand out but Jase didn’t reach for him, just stood white knuckling the counter. It took a second, but he got his bearings.

  “Ase.” Jase knew he sounded dumb. But here and now… this was the last thing he’d ever expected. Ever.

  He could close his eyes and remember watching the man being dragged off in a car by his cousins. He could remember that better than he could remember having Ase inside him, now. He’d only barely remembered Ase’s face at this point, having put away the photo of them together a long, long time ago; never to be forgotten completely, but far enough away Jase sometimes thought it had been a dream.

  Jase was still a bit thunderstruck until Deputy Miller came up beside him. “Deputy Emery, you doing okay?”

  Jase looked at her, blinked, and finally exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. “Uh. Yeah, yeah. The doctor will be here in just a minute.”

  When Jase looked to Ase, there was hurt in his eyes. He must’ve thought Jase was dismissing him, because Ase had been a hair’s breadth from pulling Jase in for a hug, but Jase had stood there like a deaf, dumb, and blind man.

  “I—” he started.

  “Do you two know each other?” the male nurse asked from behind Ase. Jase was aware they had quite the audience with the nurses. God, the gossip would be awesome. He felt himself flush.

  The hurt in Ase’s eyes disappeared, replaced by a blankness Jase didn’t like. He was completely unprepared for the overwhelming emotions trying to spill out of him. And with a co-worker right beside him. In his hometown. Full of homophobic assholes so far as he remembered. You’re in uniform. Deal with work first.

  That helped him try to form words but there was no reason. Ase turned, kissed the male nurse on the forehead and slung his leather jacket on before waltzing out of the doors Jase couldn’t chase him out of right now.

  What the fuck?

  He wanted to chase him. Four years. They’d stopped e-mailing a long time ago but Ase didn’t think he should send some kind of message saying he was in Jase’s fucking home town?

  And… Jase cleared his throat and looked around at the audience he still had. The male nurse was eying him, and not happily. “Sorry.” But he didn’t elaborate fully, too pissed at himself.

  He felt like the lowest form of shit as his eyes drifted back to the glass doors, watching as a blue and black BMW motorcycle zoomed from the side and out of the parking lot without so much as a yield. He held back on the smirk that tried to free itself, knowing Ase damn well deserved a ticket driving like he was, but knowing he’d sure as hell not be the one to do it.

  “Wrong person?” Miller asked. When he looked to her and nodded, Miller’s brow went up, saying she believed him as much as she believed Mr. Asani when he said he’d only had one drink last night.

  Chapter 9

  I finish school tomorrow. I’m excited to have something to look forward to again. Since I got home it’s been weird. No schedule other than ones that revolve around livestock. It’s been a bit of a shock to the system. I listened to you, though. I went to a counselor about my anxiety. It’s helped. Good call.

  I didn’t hear back from your last e-mail. So I hope you’re okay. It’s been weeks. I don’t know if you’ll even get this.

  I still look at that picture and I guess I feel silly. You’re probably living it up in London so my stories may seem ridiculous.

  Just… Be well.

  Hope you’re finding home.

  Ase slammed his laptop shut and finished off his second—okay, maybe third— vodka and Sprite. He’d read that e-mail twice back then, but never again. Life got in the way, school got in the way, work got in the way. It hadn’t been easy after the absolute destruction that occurred to his life when his family caught him with Jase.

  He didn’t know why he’d held that against Jase at first. He supposed, looking back on it, that he’d been so incredibly angry at Jase that his life got to continue normally, in his safe closet, getting girls pregnant. He knew the thoughts were unfair, Jase wasn’t the one at fault for Ase’s being so out of his head infatuated he hadn’t considered his cousins might see them. And Jase wasn’t there the night things really changed.

  It was Munich. The city was large enough it shouldn’t have been an issue. But such was Ase’s luck.

  He didn’t know what he was thinking, torturing himself with Jase’s old e-mails now. He’d made the decision to come to Abernathy, knowing he may run into Jase one day, knowing it may go exactly as it had. So much for Jase making it different and coming out like he’d said in some of his e-mails. The man was obviously still hiding that part of himself if he hadn’t been able to even extend a kind word.

  Ase had been so fucking excited to see his Texan again, he’d made a fool of himself while Jase stood silently and dismissed him. He hated how vulnerable he’d felt in the face of Jase’s silence; the way Dustin had cast such a pitying look his way.

  Although, that might be jumping to conclusions, because Ase had been so embarrassed he’d made a scene. He closed his eyes and sighed, realizing the enormity of kissing Dustin on the forehead before his grand and oh-so-mature exit. He’d done it to make Jase jealous, when the man could well be married with babies.

  Fucking idiot.

  He shouldn’t have done that to Dustin. Dustin was kind and smart, and he understood the hours Ase had to put in, did the same himself. He was one of the few people who’d touch Ase with a ten-foot pole. Ase had not counted on some of the racism he’d found in the area. It was Texas. Latin boys were a dime a dozen, and he was no illegal, regardless of what some people might think when they looked at him. He knew it was worse in other areas than the university town he’d moved to, as they were accustomed to doctors and professors from all over the world there. Didn’t mean there hadn’t been assholes. Ase had had a couple black-eyes in the past few months to prove it.

  None of the white-bread American bros wanted to give him the time of day. Then, one day he’d wandered into Bar None, a local watering hole, and run into a nurse he’d seen around work. Dustin and Ase hadn’t wasted any time getting into bed. That didn’t mean they were compatible beyond that.

  But Dustin was worth the time and effort. They had a good time. Even out of the bed, they weren’t always at odds.

  Dustin wasn’t the kind of guy Ase had ever seen himself moving in or building a life with. The man even admitted he planned to move to Dallas at the end of his current semester. Ase had been clear that after his residency, he’d probably end up back in California. God knows he had enough responsibility there that he couldn’t stay away forever. That kiss, though. He deserved it if Dustin told him to bugger off.

  Time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. With that, Ase opened his laptop, closed his e-mail, and went to shower. He’d just come out in a pair of sweatpants when he heard a knock on the front door of his apartment.

  Only one person would be stopping by at this hour, knowing he’d be crawling into bed in another hour. Early to bed, even earlier to rise due to his resident rotation. He’d had to pull an extra double to get the Saturday night off to help Dustin out. Of course, he may not have to now.

  He swung the door open, and heat pooled in
his groin the way Dustin raked his naked torso with his eyes. “For me, Dr. Ramirez?”

  “Dustin,” he said, trying for contrite.

  Dustin cocked his hip and shook his head. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course,” Ase responded, leaving the door open and wandering back into the apartment. He loved his apartment. It was small, but there was a wall between his bedroom and living room, and the shower wasn’t shared with two other apartments like the one he’d had just off campus in San Diego. In fact, he could afford much larger if he liked, even with sending a huge chunk of his paychecks to California. But this had suited him fine. Besides that, his spending less on rent meant he had been able to afford decent furniture that was a step above IKEA and a bed that more than handled the acrobatics he’d put it through.

  “Would you like a drink?” Ase called over his shoulder, as he opened the refrigerator in his sectioned off kitchen. “I’ve that disgusting honey green tea you insisted I try.”

  Dustin walked in, leaning on the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. He had obviously stopped at his own home—his mother’s home, if one were to be technical—before he came by. His curly black hair had the soft, fluffy look it had when air-dried after a shower, and he’d changed from his scrubs to his everyday clothes—black band t-shirt and loose-fitting jeans. He looked younger than his twenty-two years.

  “What was that about at the hospital today?”

  “What was what about?” Worst deflection in the history of the practice.

  Dustin laughed at Ase fondly. “Oh, I’ve known you too long now for that to work.”

  Ase walked around Dustin, stalling as he pulled a clean glass from the dishwasher. Dustin was right. He knew Ase well. They’d been doing their dance for well over four months, seen each other almost daily in that time as well. Which is why Dustin deserved better than a brushing off, but Ase felt a complete fool for the entire ordeal so he wasn’t sure how to respond yet.

  “Ase, come on. On an awkward scale of one to ten, that was a twelve. And I don’t appreciate being used that way.”