Three Times a Lady [Hell's Delight 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Karen Mercury

  “Exactly,” Lacey said firmly. “Good move.”

  “A temporary nurse just arrived before I came to see you. I’m just not cut out for it!” Autumn cried again, to punctuate her point. “I don’t know how people deal with it ’round the clock. Maybe I’ve become soft, living in my cushy lodge, but I don’t even own a cat, Lace! I’m thirty-fucking-five years old and have never even owned a cat. How responsible is that? Maybe I’m having a midlife crisis because you just told me you’re pregnant.”

  Autumn had actually been eaten up with surprise jealousy when her younger friend had told her that news this morning in the stables. Lacey was a bit “curvier” than Autumn, so Autumn hadn’t really been able to tell. The news hit her like a brick wall. Maybe she was feeling vulnerable due to her father’s illness, and now the shocking slap in the face she’d received last night on that darkened hill. But instead of reacting with jubilance and cigars, the news of Lacey’s pregnancy had just seemed like another cosmic stab in the back.

  “Oh, your time will come, Autumn,” Lacey said hollowly.

  “Will it, Lacey? Will it? I’m thirty-fucking-five which is stretching it, fertility-wise. Not to mention the one tiny detail of where’s my husband? Do I have one? No I do not.” Autumn huffed and puffed to regain calm. She should not be taking her personal sorrows out on Lacey. Having a baby had never been a top priority for her. The idea that it might never happened hadn’t caused her any sleepless nights. Suddenly Noel Butler appeared in town and boom! Autumn was a squirming, sobbing puddle of emotional goo. “And you know what else? I’m realizing I have to stay in Hell’s Delight, Lace. Even with a fulltime caretaker, even if I find a decent facility to take my dad, I’m going to have to stick around. I’m his last surviving relative. Someone needs to be nearby to visit and make decisions.”

  Lacey wheeled her mount around so she could face Autumn. “Oh, will you? That would be so fantastic! I mean…I know it means a lot of sacrifices for you. But it sure would be nice having you around again all the time, and I know Katrina feels the same.” Katrina was helping her husband Shane Jonas run their new Four One Five Ranch and the two women were vaguely heading in that direction, following the tree line toward Shane’s grove of pines.

  “Oh, I know. It will be good to be near you guys again, and I just adore your husbands. Hey, look! A herd of cows.”

  That was what Autumn had really been waiting for, the herd of cows to pop onto the horizon. After leaving Noel last night an existential loneliness had swept over her, threatening to swamp her. She realized that one tiny part of her psyche had been assuming she’d hook back up with Noel. The idea that he didn’t even want to give her another shot had devastated her far more than she’d predicted. She could have lost twenty pounds, gotten botoxed and had her own fortune and Noel still wouldn’t want a hookup because he was into men. Autumn had turned Noel Butler gay. No wonder he had never married.

  Seeing that smexy, lanky cowboy pin Noel against the Jeep and plaster him with an open-mouthed kiss had been all sorts of weird. Noel was always photographed with this starlet or that bimbo! How long had they been beards? She knew for a fact he hadn’t had the slightest gay leanings while with her. That put his turning at some point in the past fourteen years. That—more so than her father’s incontinence and ravings—had prevented her from getting a single wink of sleep last night.

  And the sight of the men kissing was more than a little arousing. Autumn could take a bit of comfort in the idea she wasn’t competing against another woman. No amount of Miss America contestants would have swayed Noel’s cravings.

  Still, Autumn tossed and turned. I turned him gay. I made him hate women so badly he’s finding solace in the bed of a virile cowboy.

  “Oh, right! That’ll be Ewan and his new hand, Jorge. They were going to be working on culling a few of the more temperamental from the base herd today. Ewan reported a couple of them charging, pawing the ground, stuff like that. You said he wanted to see you, had more questions about his brother? Let’s get his attention. But don’t distract any cows, hear?”

  “Yes, let’s.” The women began moving down the spine of the ridge heading for the intersection with Ewan’s lower ridge. “Lacey, you sort of left out one important thing when you admitted Noel is staying on Hardscrabble. I understand the need for secrecy because Noel doesn’t want a shitstorm of rubberneckers crowding him out of town.”

  “Well,” Lacey said hesitantly, “there’s no secrecy from you, Autumn. You’re an old friend of his. Why would he want to hide from you?”

  “That’s the whole point. It was brought to my attention last night in a very rude way that, ah, how should I put this…Noel has been basket shopping?”

  Lacey giggled. “Basket shopping, heh. What does that mean?”

  “What do you think? Do I need to spell it out?”

  “Please do.”

  “Noel has suddenly become a cockpipe cosmonaut.”

  Lacey wheeled around, her beautiful face open and glowing. An incredulous lip fart escaped her mouth. “‘Cockpipe cosmonaut’? Autumn, where have you been living the past twenty years?”

  “You know what I’m saying, Lace! I saw Ewan kissing him, and it wasn’t just to thank him for a horsey ride! I couldn’t even believe that beautiful cowboy was a bumhole engineer, but Noel? Lacey, when did this happen?”

  Lacey giggled so hysterically she couldn’t keep her eyes open. “He’s a little light in the loafers, that’s for sure!” She slapped her thigh with the reins in her hand and her horse looked confused. “He’s an Oklahomo, all right!”

  “Okay, okay, calm down, Lacey.” Autumn held out a warning hand, although Ewan was easily still a hundred yards away. He had seen them, and was cutting through the herd toward them. Out on the open range he was even more beautiful. He rode easily on his mount as though born to it, not jolting up and down like Autumn did. He just loped like the intelligent purebred she had him pegged for. Honestly? She was jealous. Those two men together, Noel and Ewan—it was just too much beauty not to be shared. “Yes, that’s what I’m driving at. How long has that been going on?”

  Lacey finally saw Ewan heading toward them fast, and sobered up. “Oh, jeez, I don’t know. A year? Since Noel came here originally.”

  “What I’m getting at is—is Ewan Noel’s first? Do you understand? I have this deathly feeling that it’s my fault he turned gay. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

  “Oh, Autumn. It might be a shock that you’re not the center of Noel’s world, but no. You didn’t ‘turn him gay.’ I do believe Ewan was his first, to be honest. You remember all those groupies, right? You couldn’t not see them in Star magazine or the net.”

  “Yes, yes, but I thought maybe they were beards. So Ewan is his first? Maybe it’s just a phase he’s going through?”

  It was Lacey’s turn to look confused. “Well…I…”

  “Ladies.”

  He truly is stunning. Autumn was struck speechless as Ewan touched the brim of his cowboy hat. Autumn suddenly understood what was meant by “haunting beauty.” Ewan was the sort of handsome that people would stop cold on the street for. People would ask for his phone number so he could star in their television commercial, he was that beautiful. She felt better, knowing Noel had no choice but to bow before such blinding class and style.

  Lacey bumbled ahead. “Ewan, Autumn here said you had more questions for her about your bro—”

  “That’s all right.” Autumn waved Lacey away. “I think he’s got it covered.”

  Ewan definitely looked amused. It was evident Autumn was truly busted, having concocted this bogus excuse to get close to him again. “Yes, I think Miss Chamberlain does have a lot of information for me.”

  Oh, brother. If that isn’t a double entendre, I don’t know what is. Damn his intelligence. Two can play this game. “Well, my information is very expensive. I don’t go around handing it out to just anyone.”

  Lacey didn’t pick up on their game. “Seriously, A
utumn? You’re not going to charge my cow boss for legal tips.”

  Ewan’s look was devilish. He never took his smoldering gaze from Autumn’s face as his mount danced underneath him. “Oh, that’s perfectly fine, Lacey. I think I’m capable of paying Miss Chamberlain’s extortionate price.”

  Autumn narrowed her eyes at her rival. “Really? I’m sure you’re used to getting it cheap.”

  Lacey gasped, but Ewan rose to the challenge. “Let’s ride this way. Jorge’s got it covered. I need to give him free rein sometime.” He indicated with a nod of his head that they should continue going down the ridgeline.

  Lacey said uncertainly, “Well, I’m going to go say hi to Mia, Autumn. She’s kind of isolated out here without Sam around.”

  “Fine,” said Autumn vaguely. She knew that her and Noel’s old friend Mia had been struggling since Sam had left her, but right now Autumn’s only thoughts were of Noel…and Ewan.

  Autumn trotted in another direction, and Ewan asked Autumn point-blank, “What is it you want from Noel? And now you seem to want something from me.”

  She knew she would be pegged as a buttinsky and possibly even a stalker, so she had a line all prepared. “Don’t worry, Ewan. I see that I’m no competition with you for his love. Besides, I don’t even want his love. I’ve been totally over him for thirteen years.” Yes. It had taken another additional year of angst and agony to get over Noel Butler, even though she’d been the dumper and not the dumpee. “I just enjoy reminiscing with him. That was a big part of my life and I don’t want to deny it happened.”

  Ewan seemed to relax a bit as they rode. “I must admit. I’m curious about what sort of woman could command his attention for an entire year.”

  Autumn rolled her eyes. “One who turns him gay, apparently.”

  Ewan’s laughter seemed genuine. “Autumn! It doesn’t work that way. I doubt you ‘turned him gay.’ In fact, I don’t think he’s really gay at all.”

  “Oh, no?” Autumn was grasping for straws. How pathetic! Am I one of those loser star-fuckers, just another groupie? But Autumn had been suspecting for a long time that she had never fallen out of love with Noel Butler. It had just been one long continuous love affair—in her own heart, at least. Damn it, she knew Noel better than any groupie or well-hung cowboy ever could! “What makes you say that?”

  “Well, I was his first man, for one. And I think I basically seduced him.”

  Autumn guffawed. “Like he needed a lot of seduction!”

  Ewan frowned. “What does that mean? Noel’s not a slut, if that’s what you mean. I know all those gossip sites print photos, but he was never really that heavily into the womanizing. Women were at parties he attended, that’s all.”

  “Oh, and you fell for that? You do know that’s the reason I left him, don’t you? Somehow I could never get him to come home at night.”

  “Oh, he may have been a philanderer back then. I don’t know. I’m sure you did some immature things in your youth, too. I’m saying the past several years he’s toned it down a lot. Toned all of it down since hooking up with me. Unless there’s something I don’t know, in which case I’d have to kill him.”

  Autumn regarded Ewan with fresh eyes. Maybe the two men were really in a deep love relationship. “So the two of you…you’re monogamous? That is new for Noel. I’m just curious what convinced him to suddenly go for a man. Aside from your movie star good looks, that is.” Now they could both laugh—together.

  “Like I said, I basically forced him. He moved into the house on Devin’s land, so I saw him a lot. I used to produce music in Albuquerque before I went into ranching, so we had some things in common. Not like a couple of albums by Dreadful Gate and Jog G.E.R. was going to propel me to stardom like Noel’s, but it gave us a lot to talk about. Don’t feel bad, Autumn. I had to get him drunk and throw myself on him to get him to open up to the idea of a man.”

  “Hm. I’d like to have seen that. Pardon the stereotype, but you don’t seem gay either. I know there’s no real gay ‘type’ but I’d like to think I’ve got pretty good gaydar. I work with people every day, and I prosecute some of the most colorful. I don’t know. You just don’t give off that gay vibe. To me, anyway.”

  “Ah, thanks? Actually, that’s very astute of you. I’ve never self-identified as gay. I’m just a man who likes sex with men, and now just one man in particular. I was married once upon a time.”

  Autumn was surprised and wanted to know more, but it seemed as though Ewan instantly regretted mentioning the marriage. He barreled on ahead.

  “I just want you to know, you floozy. Keep your hands off my man. I fully intend to fight to the death for Noel.”

  Autumn laughed and hoped it sounded convincing. “Oh, you have no fear from me, that’s for sure. Me and Noel are dead and buried. I’d like to think we could just be friends. He’s a very intelligent, fun person. Knowing him just makes life…more fun.” Autumn’s smartphone in her jacket pocket was buzzing with more than one new text, and they were nearing Mia’s house, down in a little valley that was an offshoot of Hardscrabble land. It was depressing to see how much shabbier Mia’s house looked. Back in the day it had seemed the height of modern architecture with its Corian countertops, pastel paint colors, and jazzy clear Plexiglas light fixtures. Now it just looked drab and forlorn surrounded by leafless trees.

  As a lawyer, Autumn was accustomed to looking at her phone, and this probably helped convince Ewan she was harmless to him. Ewan said warmly, “I’m sure he wants to be friends with you, Autumn. Go ahead and call him. You won’t find any trouble with me.”

  They had reined in their mounts, and Autumn smiled sideways at the smexy cowboy. “You seem very intelligent. I like that in a man. I’ll bet Noel never told you I’m a sapiosexual. That’s how I self-identify.”

  She had finally managed to stump Ewan, who looked totally confused. His hip-hop career probably hadn’t educated him in the ways of sapiosexuals. Autumn hurriedly read a text from an unfamiliar number. Oh. It was the professional nurse she’d left with her father that morning.

  Have appt with amazing Alzheimer’s facility at 2 today in Auburn. Can you come with us?

  Before replying, Autumn read the next text from Lacey.

  At Mia’s. Can you come right away? Urgent.

  Her lawyer’s orderly brain instantly knew she should text the nurse back Give me the address and I’ll meet you there, then text Lacey. Be right there.

  When she looked back to Ewan, he was still looking confused. “I just want to know what a sapiosexual is.”

  Autumn grinned secretively. “Wouldn’t you like to know? Come with me, Ewan. I want you to see the house where Noel and I did a lot of our Friday Experience partying.”

  Despite Autumn’s best intentions to loathe and reject Ewan, more and more she was realizing what Noel saw in him. She would have to abandon any residual love she felt for Noel and wish him luck with Ewan.

  Chapter Five

  Noel was working at his laptop answering business e-mails when he got a strange text from Alex Coldiron. He didn’t even know Alex knew his private cell number, much less had any reason to text him. Alex was the live-in lover of Shane and Katrina Jonas over at Four One Five Ranch higher up in altitude.

  Noel, come to Mia Montag’s house right away at the end of Sweet Home Road. Your presence is urgently required.

  Noel was slow to react. He was heavily mired in a political and highly cogent harangue with an anti-hunger lobbyist. Noel’s own arguments were sounding particularly fluent, not to mention downright cultured and enlightened, even though he was preaching to the choir. He was certain to get the funding he wanted for his pet project.

  Besides. He had to listen to his bandmate Clayton’s latest mix on Noel’s most recent demo. Noel was convinced this song, “Red Daisies,” would be the breakout hit on their next album, although maybe he should change the title so as not to draw Autumn’s attention to it. He didn’t want her thinking that she had been on his mind lately
.

  Alex Coldiron was a fireman. Why the hell would a fireman be requiring his presence at Sam and Mia’s old house? If it was on fire, how could Noel help?

  Instead, Noel went to the Dropbox where Clayton had uploaded the song. He dicked around in there awhile, postponing actually listening to Clayton’s mix. The truth was, Autumn had been on his mind ever since he’d laid eyes on her in the Pit. Holding her hand in that car had brought all sorts of undesirable feelings rushing back. He tried to convince himself that the feelings weren’t current—they were just holdover feelings hearkening him back to the year two thousand.

  But the more Noel pondered, the more he realized he had never stopped loving Autumn. She was the one who got away, and maybe it was only his wounded pride that wanted her back. Either way, he knew he needed to see this thing out. He wanted to meet up with Autumn again, just to discover where these feelings would take them. He had no fear of anything actually harming his relationship with Ewan. Autumn, unlike Noel, had moved on. She was probably dating all sorts of CPAs.

  So he felt free and bold when he texted her. It had been easy to find her phone number on the web.

  Autumn, it’s me, Noel. Where are you? Let’s get together. I want you to hear my latest demo.

  There. That was cutesy, flippant, and light. Of course she would want to hear “Red Daisies.”

  He was playing with fire, he knew. His relationship with Autumn had always been passionate and emotional, and he was just tempting fate by being near her again. But what did Ewan have to fear? Autumn was a woman. How could a woman pose any competition for a man? Ewan’s thick, long cock was only part of what Noel loved about him, and that was an arena where Autumn simply couldn’t compete. It was simply another universe entirely, this loving another man with his body, with his mouth. Ewan wasn’t a substitute for a woman. Ewan was just the man he happened to love.