The Last Name Banks

by Lacy Camey

  “You are in the heart of the village. Indigenous tribes still live around these parts. You are very lucky guests tonight to be in the presence of Elder Juan Verreos.”

  “Wait, we must inspect the place first,” Steve said.

  So we waited fifteen more minutes as Steve and Vinny scoped the entire home out and came back with a swift opening of the door.

  “Unbelievable,” Dr. Richards muttered again.

  “Chloe Banks! The Governor’s daughter of the United States of America is here!” A chubby barefoot man with missing teeth and a red cape draped over his shoulders with gold embellishment on the edges appeared and he smiled at me and embraced me tightly.

  “Oh . . . welcome!” He kissed both sides of my cheeks and then put a necklace on me that had a tooth tied around it. His gregarious nature and what appeared to look like a superhero cape caught me by surprise and I couldn’t help but giggle a little.

  “Why, thank you.” I smiled.

  “This bring you good luck!” he said, extremely close as he stood one inch from my face. My eyes naturally went cross-eyed from the close proximity.

  “Tiki bring the drinks. Bring the drinks!” he said as he cupped my face. Steve and Vinny stood protectively by my side and towered over us.

  The Elder placed a drink in my hand.

  “You drink this, dear. It brings you very, very good luck.”

  But Steve grabbed the drink out of my hand first and smelled it. He took a tiny sip and waited a few seconds before handing it back to me.

  I smiled angelically at the Elder.

  “Sorry. I—” I began to explain about Vinny and Steve.

  “It’s okay.” He grabbed my shoulders. “You very important. You a Banks. Not trying to kill you!” he said very loudly and laughed hard, patting me on the back. “Ah . . . . ” he sighed in complete happiness, “Welcome to my village. Welcome to my home!” He bear-hugged Maycee and Norah as they couldn’t contain their own amusement.

  “Ah, right this way!” He led us into a room lit with many candles. An elaborate wooden table with dishes in pottery bowls with food was set that smelled incredible. Funny, he didn’t even shake the doctor’s hands yet.

  “This is my family and friends! You must sit!”

  “Thank you.” I smiled and scanned the room at the other guests, who all wore smiling faces and next to nothing in the clothing department.

  “And you must drink your cup of wisdom,” he laughed.

  “Everyone sit!” He shook everyone’s hand as a kind woman led me near the head of the table, next to a woman in thin clothing who appeared to be very cold.

  “And Tiki, bring more drinks for Chloe Banks’ friends, too.” He slapped the table and sighed again as he leaned closer to the girls and I. “Trust me. Much wisdom imparts in those drinks. We’re so happy you are here tonight! You come a long way but the gods look favorably upon you and you friends.”

  I took a sip of my drink slowly and forced a smile as the strangest, most bitter taste trickled down my esophagus. My smile froze as I forced the drink down, trying not to cough. Two drinks were placed in front of Norah and Maycee.

  “You like? You like!” he said louder. “Oh, Tiki. Let’s feast!” He motioned for Tiki to place the remaining dish on the table. Before I came to Venezuela, I was vegan. Now, not so much, with being considerate to the culture and the food to be served at the orphanage. I hoped my stomach would remember how to digest pork!

  I turned to look at Tiki. She was barefoot, had her own fair share of missing teeth, but was radiating with pure joy.

  Norah slapped me under the table and motioned for me to come close to hear her whisper.

  “I am not drinking this. It’s disgusting.”

  “Yeah,” Maycee whispered. “There is no way I’m drinking it. Who knows what’s in it?”

  I rolled my eyes and kept my whisper low.

  “Seriously, you two. What did we talk about? Courtesy,” I hissed.

  “It will be a courtesy for me not to drink it so there will not be any throw up on the dust covered ground,” Maycee hissed back.

  I took another sip of the drink. It was awful. But I didn’t want to offend the Elder who sat mesmerized, watching every move I made. I had to distract him. To do something. I didn’t want my friend’s rudeness to reflect on me and insult him.

  “What is it you discuss?” he asked warmly. “And why don’t you drink?” He pointed to the cup.

  Maycee and Norah eyed each other and Norah stammered, “Oh . . . uh. We are . . . we just, normally like to, you know, pray before our meals. We did not want to offend you, of course. So we were simply discussing that.” Norah flashed him her most charming smile.

  “Oh, no offending at all! Yes, let us pray! What a wonderful idea!”

  Suddenly, drum beats began and I jumped in my seat. A man sitting in the corner—who I had failed to see earlier—sat with a small drum in his knees. He had his eyes closed in total ecstasy. The Elder closed his eyes and began humming, his vibrato strong, steady, and low.

  “Ohhhh . . . . ” He kept going as his head began to sway.

  I looked at Maycee and Norah, both looking at me as if Casper the friendly ghost was about to be summoned. It would be the perfect time for me to rid them of their drinks and not insult the Elder. So I quickly took Norah’s drink, downed it and quietly put it down on the table. Wiping my mouth, I repeated the same with as Maycee’s, nearly spitting up the contents. My throat burned and my eyes watered.

  I could feel both set of their eyes burning a hole in my head. “Uh, thanks,” Norah whispered in total shock.

  “Unbelievable,” I said. “Culture.” I began to cough and tried not to disrupt his prayer or whatever it was that he was doing.

  I looked at the Elder closely and his eyes were tightly shut as if he were in a trance. I looked around the table discreetly. The villagers all followed suit, slowly rocking in their chairs. The doctors looked down towards their laps. Peter looked up and made eye contact with me and had a smirk on his face. I immediately looked down at my lap because I knew I would laugh as well.

  “We . . . are . . . here together tonight!” the Elder said loudly in sort of song chanting manner, as the drums beat faster.

  “We thank you mother Maria Lionza, mother of everything here. We are yours for using and cleansing in this meal, together in happiness.”

  Suddenly, I heard a high pitched yelp from a woman as she started moving her arms in a dance. She couldn’t contain herself and removed herself from her chair and began to dance like she was convulsing from a seizure.

  “What the heck is going on?” Maycee whispered to me as Norah grabbed my leg in fear.

  “It’s just their religious practices. They are praying to their God . . . . ” I said.

  The Elder looked up from the table. “We have our friend. Everyone clap and celebrate. Our new friends bring could luck to this village.” Suddenly, a man picked up a small acoustic guitar that leaned against the wall and began to play. The woman yelping danced in front of the table, completely hypnotic. Maycee tried to conceal her laughter as I started to feel very strange and dizzy.

  A few other villagers began singing a song that rivaled any famous Latin song.

  “I think that’s why Paul in the Bible silenced women in the church,” Norah said quietly, laughing.

  “Just pretend you’re watching a culture show like the one in Cancun and appreciate it all as an art. A luau in Hawaii. Whatever,” I whispered as quietly back as possible, all the while feeling strange. But the singing had grown so loud and with the music playing that I may have well have just used my regular speaking voice.

  “Okay, but if they start sharpening a knife, I’m running for the hills,” Norah said in dead seriousness.

  I nodded and looked at Vinny and Steve, who seemed extremely freaked out as they looked side to side, cautious of the extreme behavior.

  “I am not trying to kill you,” the Elder’s voice rang in my memory.


  I suddenly wondered if this were safe. I felt fear rise as the villagers began to sing and act more bizarre, without control.

  Suddenly, the Elder shouted.

  “Stop!” His hands raised towards the ceiling.

  And everyone stopped. The guitar, the drums, the singing. It all went quiet. Everyone stared at him, waiting for him to speak. I felt a chill run down my neck.

  He lifted his chin to the ceiling then lowered it as he opened his eyes.

  I was officially freaked out and I grabbed Maycee and Norah’s hands. The room began spinning and I had to attribute that from the three quickly drunk drinks.

  “You, my friend, Chloe Banks. Maria Lionza says for me to tell you to be free. That you are free,” he said looking at me straight in the eyes.

  What?

  “That’s all,” he said in a high-pitched sing-song voice. “Let’s eat, shall we!”

  Gregarious cheering exploded from the villagers saying things to one another like, “She is truly favored.”

  And one by one left their chairs and came over to me, each touching my arm, then touching my hair in awe.

  “Now, now . . . . ” Steve said as he attempted to calm people down.

  “It’s . . . okay.” I said, as I sat feeling like a baby goat at a petting zoo.

  “You bring village much luck.” The Elder reached over and patted my hand as Tiki reappeared by him with a giant knife.

  As if electricity struck my body, my fight or flight nerves exploded. Was I about to be . . . ? Please don’t cut my hand off! I immediately thought as Vinny stood up and his chair flew back as he reached for the knife while the Elder stood up and said, “And now, we carve the pig!”

  Everyone applauded and cheered.

  I let out a sigh. This was crazy. He wasn’t trying to cut off my hand, but their bizarre behavior left me with no other assumption.

  “Who the heck is Maria Lionza? The woman . . . the mother he just prayed to?” Norah asked.

  I let out a sigh. “It’s folklore to us but religion to them.”

  “Just please tell me no one is getting sacrificed. Oh my gosh, seriously. I thought he was going to chop your hand off!” Maycee said as she touched her chest with her hand.

  “That’s the Mayans,” I said. “And no one does that here.”

  Right?

  “Let’s just eat, remain calm and hospitable, and then try and get the heck out of here ASAP,” I said as calm as possible as I eyed Steve and Vinny.

  We each sampled as many dishes as possible. Some tasted pretty delicious, unlike any food I had ever had in my life. Others I politely downed fast as possible with my fake, southern belle smile. After a few bites, the Elder noticed my cup was empty.

  “You need more drink, Chloe Banks! Very good wisdom it imparts. Tiki!”

  Before I could even come up with an excuse, Tiki was right by side with another drink.

  Maycee and Norah laughed because they knew this would be my fourth drink.

  It will be okay, I quickly reasoned with myself.

  Clearly, this had alcohol and some sort of hypnotic plant; something. I would pace myself. It would all be fine. I would not get sick.

  So I kept eating.

  “Chloe, your drink!” The Elder said with his fork and knife in his hand as he propped his elbows on the table.

  I laughed nervously. Peer pressure anyone?

  “Oh, right. I was just tasting this delicious dish right here,” I motioned with my fork.

  He smiled at me so big I could count all of his teeth.

  Three.

  I took a sip and was about to place the cup back down, but he still peered at me so intently. So I took another sip, this time making an awful slurping noise that would make my mother crawl under the table in horror. He still watched. I took another sip and realized I just had one more giant sip and I would be finished. I gulped the rest down and put it back on the table trying to appear as if I felt fine, that the room wasn’t already spinning, as if I really could see my food and not double.

  The Elder laughed and kept eating and making conversation.

  But as luck would have it, I slowly started to feel sick to my stomach. I stood up almost falling over. “I’m sorry, I feel . . . . ” and then I ran out of the room and couldn’t help it. I threw up.

  “The cleansing has begun!” The Elder shouted. “The cleansing has begun! You go to new heights now!”

  Steve, Vinny, Norah and Maycee got up from the table and crowded around me as the villagers cheered.

  “Are you okay?” Norah asked.

  I could barely make out who was who. I saw double vision and felt unable to move.

  That was the last thing I remembered before my heavy eyelids closed and I felt myself falling.

  Chapter Nine

  As I woke up the next morning, the room was spinning and I felt like death frozen over. I looked at empty beds and I realized I was in our bunk. Maycee and Norah were gone. I looked at my watch and it read 9:30 am. How had I slept in? I never did that. I couldn’t remember anything past sitting at the table eating empanadas. What was going on? I reached for my head and it pounded like the worst hangover ever. Normally people say, never again will I drink tequila, or what not. I had no idea what to swear off because I had no idea what was in that “wisdom drink.” It had to be hallucinogenic or something because I had never in my life had such crazy, and I mean crazy, dreams. I knew it was practice among some cultures, thanks to the Discovery Channel, to use drugs as a way to connect spiritually with their Gods and spirit guides, but I just never in a million years thought I would be a part of such practices. Guess there’s a first time for everything.

  I stumbled around trying to get dressed. I grabbed a bottle of mouthwash and swished, putting my hair in a ponytail.

  I opened the screen door and spit my mouthwash into the ground, nearly spitting on Steve who stood waiting for me.

  “Oh, sorry! Didn’t see you there. I’m so late!” I ran as quickly as possible towards the doctor’s quarters while I felt dizzy and fuzzy in my thinking. As I opened the door, the doctors looked in annoyance at me as they were quickly looking through papers and supplies, looking absolutely frantic as someone from the walkie-talkie spoke hysterically in Spanish.

  “Someone’s late. And someone’s not happy about it,” Dr. Richards taunted.

  What? Late for being dismissed? What was I supposed to say and what was the deal speaking in first person?

  “Not us, the chief. Not the chief from last night, but the chief of surgery is here today. You were supposed to meet him an hour ago,” Peter said.

  Dang it. I completely forgot.

  Before filtering my thoughts, I said, “Okay, come on guys. Like you two weren’t given those mystery wisdom drinks like us?”

  “We don’t know what you’re referencing,” Dr. Richards said, and went back to counting supplies.

  “Seriously? You have no idea?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. But I do know about the special custom of being on time.”

  I rolled my eyes. Yes, I rolled my eyes at the wrong time because in walked an older man in his early sixties who resembled Steven Spielberg with glasses and a white doctor’s jacket.

  “Banks?”

  “Yes, yes, sir that’s I. That’s me. I’m Chloe.” I reached out my hand to shake his, completely mortified by my behavior and speech. Whatever the Elder had placed in our drinks completely made me tongue-tied; I wasn’t able to access my normal daily vocabulary.

  Which is probably why my parents had it drilled in me to never take drinks from strangers. But in this case, what was I supposed to do?

  He left my hand hanging.

  “I am so sorry, . . . I apologize for being late. It’s not like me, . . . this—”

  And then I stopped explaining. His face said it all. And then he really said it all.

  “Uh huh, uh huh. And do you have the Cliff Notes version of your tale because frankly, I don’t care. What matters is that th
e O.R. is behind because you weren’t here.”

  “The O.R.?” I said, sounding like a little girl.

  “Otherwise known as the Operating Room, which surely you know since you went to The University of Texas, or did you simply pay your way for a degree and it’s all an act?”

  Could someone seriously give me a break? These doctors were something else. But I had a fiery spirit deep down.

  “Absolutely not. In fact, every—”