The Unforgiven

by A. Katie Rose

  “Are you going to fill that or strangle it to death?”

  I glanced down. I held the neck of the skin in both my hands as though I indeed throttled it. I hadn’t known what my hands were doing – expressing the desire of my heart. But what was that? Choke Flynn to death with my bare hands or caress Iyumi’s silken flesh with my fingers? I didn’t know, and stumbled on my answer.

  “Fill it, I reckon,” I muttered and all but ran to the nearby stream.

  A tiny streamlet gurgled from between two large boulders not far from the cave’s mouth. There, on my knees, I splashed icy water over my sweating face and neck. Cupping my hands, I drank deep, washing away the sour taste of sleep and fury. I tossed more over my head to clear my brain of morning fog and the memory of Iyumi’s lips clasped within mine. Under its cold, my mind returned to the present. We must gallop hard. Find the kid and race back to Caer Brannog as though the devil himself were after us.

  Because he was.

  I filled the skin, and walked quickly back. I didn’t like Iyumi left alone for even a moment. Not with Flynn lurking about.

  I knew a little of the magic Flynn used to watch us. Somehow, he’d gotten his hands on a scrying crystal. The user willed the crystal to show him what he wanted most to see. I recalled uneasily that the crystal’s magic could also send such willful user to the destination he most wanted to visit. If Flynn knew the magic could accomplish that –

  He’d drop in totally unannounced. Iyumi was right. We needed to move but fast.

  Hunger rumbled in my belly. Yesterday’s fight and my grief sapped my strength something awful. A decent sleep helped, and food would improve matters enormously. Despite that, I felt seriously weakened after yesterday’s battle. If I were forced to another fight of magic and will, well, I might not win. If I failed, I’d leave Iyumi, and the child, in enemy hands. If the gods required my life, they were welcome to it. I didn’t much care. As long as Iyumi remained safe and free, and our nation along with her, I’d die a happy Shifter.

  One helpful thing about snake and eggs for breakfast: they cooked quickly. Without speaking much, we devoured the hot eggs and salty-tasting jekki, washing all down with cold mountain water. Iyumi didn’t express her feelings as she doused the fire, but my own strength doubled after the food hit my belly. Iyumi’s eyes seemed brighter, her outlook more cheerful, as I changed once more into a black Centaur.

  Slinging the full waterskin over my shoulder, along with my sword belt, I dropped my hand down to Iyumi. Seizing it in a tight grip, she permitted me to assist her to mount my back. She settled behind my withers, her legs firmly ensconced around my barrel. When her hands rested upon my shoulders, I took them and wrapped them around my waist.

  “Hold on,” I said, my tone tense. “Time to outrun the devil.”

  My bow in my hand, and my quiver of bristling arrows bumping my equine shoulder, I sped into a hand gallop, uphill. My sword, like my clothes and human jewelry, remained with me despite my body change. I felt its power, like a second pulse of my heart, beating in time to my hooves. Had I the need, I could call on its magic to reinforce my own. I didn’t need its hilt within my hands to wield it.

  Alternating between a rolling canter and a swift trot, I carried Iyumi far from the river and its bloody battleground. My dead rode with me, silent ghosts like wisps of fog seen only from the corner of my eyes. The weight of their eyes, oh how heavy their mute accusations lay across my shoulders. I barely felt Iyumi’s slender load, more akin to a feather on my back than a girl. Yet the restless spirits of those I loved dragged at my soul.

  Rubbing my hand across my dry mouth, I unsuccessfully tried to stifle the sharp craving for a tall mug of Tamil’s bitter ale. That won’t solve your problems, I told myself. It hasn’t been the answer, and never will be the answer. I must learn to carry this load of guilt without its help. The desperate yearning merely laughed. I’m the only answer you’ll ever need, laddie, it informed me cheerfully.

  Without either of us speaking much, I took us higher and higher into the savage Shin’Eah Mountains. Through the morning and into the afternoon, I followed one game trail after another, leaping deadfall and dodging boulders, startling flocks of birds into frightened flight. Annoyed jays screamed invectives as we passed, while a black bear stood on her hind legs to watch in curiosity as I galloped through her berry bushes.

  “How far?” I asked, leaping a white, bone-dry dead oak, my forelegs tucked. I hoped Iyumi didn’t notice the tremor in my voice or the shaking in my hands. Damn, but I needed a stiff drink.

  “You see that cliff overhang, high on that ridge?”

  Her slender finger pointed upward and to the right. I couldn’t help but notice it wasn’t as steady as her voice. Her tiny breasts dug into my back, forcing sweat to my brow. Her scent, a delicate odor of the blossom in her hair and a mixture of faint musk overrode all reasonable thoughts in my head. How can I fight for her when I can’t see straight?

  Shooting a swift glance up, away from my path and the many treacherous rocks and deadwood, I saw what she indicated. Like a beetling brow on an old man’s face, a rocky ledge poked from the mountainside. The mountain itself, huge and steep, stood on the northern edge of a steep, narrow gorge, rift with savage rocks. Once past that, I thought a spied a twisted game trail wending its way upward through the twisted pines and scrub oak.

  “What do you think?” I asked. “Six leagues?”

  “Eight.”

  I chuckled. “Cake and pie.”

  “Cake and pie?”

  “Piece of cake, honey,” I replied. “Easy as pie.”

  “Have you taken a good look at that?” Iyumi asked politely.

  “At what?”

  “That.”

  “Shiiiiit!”

  Slamming my front hooves into the stony soil, my rear quarters slung under me as I slid on bare granite. Covered only in last year’s twigs and leaves and as slippery as ice, I almost didn’t stop in time. Small rocks bounced from my feet and vanished. Desperate to halt my forward momentum, I half-reared, my front legs boxing the still mountain air.

  I made it, but only just. I dropped my front half back to the ground with a solid thump, Iyumi’s tiny body still attached where it belonged. Dirt rose in a light cloud, swirling upward under the rattle of stones falling downhill. Iyumi coughed delicately, waving dust from her nose.

  “This blows,” I muttered, running my hands through my hair.

  Inches from my hooves, the ground abruptly ended at a sheer drop into the narrow gorge. High rocky walls built from the top peak of the mountain breaking away from its mother stood to either side of us. Much of the mountain top fell into the gorge, creating a very slim passage for the river below. Peering down, I saw no trail or potential passage around them.

  On the far side, the ground lay open, save for a few twisted trees and bramble. Beyond that, the game trail wound its way upward, often doubling back on itself, but seemed to head toward the rocky outcropping. I thought I recognized the shadow of the cave just below it.

  “We’ll have to go around,” Iyumi said. She half-turned to the right and pointed. “There may be a way down in that direction.”

  I didn’t bother to follow her finger. “We don’t have time for a ‘may be’.”

  Iyumi tensed, suddenly realizing what I meant to do. She didn’t try to disguise the naked fear in her voice. “Van?”

  I didn’t answer. Turning, I trotted back the way we’d come. If Flynn trailed us on horseback, he’d be forced to find the careful way across the steep ravine. I had no such intention. With a strong lead, we conceivably could stay ahead of him by at least a day. My mind shied from the thought of him using the crystal to transport himself across not just the ravine, but also the many leagues between us.

  Maybe he didn’t know how to use the crystal, I could but hope.

  Far enough, I thought, half-rearing as I wheeled hard on my haunches.

  “Hang on,” I ordered tersely.

  Her hands m
et across my belly and clasped together the instant her strong legs gripped my ribcage. Dirt squirted from beneath my feet as I launched into a fast gallop. Faster and faster, my hooves kicked up loose rocks and tundra behind my heavy tail. Iyumi pressed her cheek against my back, her legs clamped down tight.

  “I don’t think this is a good idea –”

  On the last word, Iyumi’s voice rose in sharp crescendo as I leaped upward and outward. My forelegs tucked, my rear quarters propelled us into empty space. Iyumi screamed, but in terror or exultation, I couldn’t tell. Far below, the river hurried through the lethal embrace of the canyon. Gravity pulled me downward from the height of my leap, yet I still had speed and strength on my side. If I miscalculated by even a foot –

  The cliff’s edge rushed to meet us. Extending my front legs outward, I struck solid earth a rod beyond its face. But my entire body couldn’t possibly fit. I clawed for footing, my rear hooves flailing into space. That evil bitch, gravity, sucked my hindquarters toward her and into the gorge.

  Crying aloud, I scrambled to keep my front hooves from dragging backward. If I didn’t grab hold of something, my heavy weight would toss us both into the gaping maw of the yawning gorge. Hooves didn’t catch well on rock, and my front feet cut deep grooves as my lower half was dragged backward, sliding, helpless. Iyumi’s slender weight on my back fractured my balance, and she slid toward my rump. Only my hand gripping hers kept her from dropping, screaming, into the rock-strewn canyon.

  Throwing my weight forward, I kicked at gravity’s deadly grip and struck rock. I don’t know what my hoof hit, but it was solid, unmoving and exactly what I needed. Pushing against it, I lunged forward, digging into the hard mountain granite, gasping for air. Leaping away from the canyon edge, I loped, then trotted into the realm of safety with all four feet on the ground.

  Panting, I stood still, sweat trickling down my cheeks.

  “I wish I could say that was fun,” Iyumi commented, her voice hoarse. “But I despise lying.”

  I chuckled, my mouth dry. Turning my head, I found her face, drained of all healthy color, inches from mine. I didn’t try to resist the sudden urge to kiss her. My lips roamed over hers, my hand on the back of her head preventing any possible escape. Instead of trying, she responded with a desperation that startled me. She clung to me as though drowning, her tongue tangling with mine.

  The words, those three precious words ‘I love you’, rose unbidden from my soul, but halted in my throat. I couldn’t say them. Despair took their place. I tasted bitterness on my raspy tongue. She could never be mine, never will be mine. She’s royal and I’m scum. Her father will execute me the instant this mission finished. She’s the High Priestess and the kingdom’s heir. I’m a walking talking corpse.

  She felt my change in mood and drew from me, her pink tongue trembling on her upper lip. Her blue eyes studied mine with a strange intensity, moisture blooming at the corners. Drawing a deep breath, she found an awkward smile and took her hands from my belly. In order to maintain her composure, she straightened her hair.

  I tried for lightness. “Sorry about the fright, m’lady.”

  “What fright?” Her voice sounded eerily similar to mine.

  I tossed her a faint wink. “I thought you despised lying.”

  This time her answering grin looked as genuine as her voice sounded. “Busted. Now move your ass, Captain. It’s halfway to dinner and we still have leagues to go.”

  I offered her a half-salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

  My swift lope soon turned into a half-trot, half-lunging walk as I fought my way up the game trail. The mountain was steeper than it looked at first, thick with broken rock and fallen trees. Thorny bramble caught at my legs and snagged my tail. Had Iyumi not wrapped both arms about my waist, she’d have long ago slipped from my bare back to slide in a disgraced heap over my rump.

  Twisting back upon itself, the trail itself was choked with sharp stones my hooves tripped over, and the many corpses of pine, juniper, and oak with their sharp limbs seeking my hide and Iyumi’s legs. Still living greenery slapped my face or scratched my cheeks before I could duck.

  “Stop,” Iyumi gasped. “Take a break. We both need it.”

  Unwilling to stop on the steep flank of the mountain, I lunged further up until I found a reasonably level ledge. Panting hard, I halted and bent over, sweat pouring from my hair and flanks in rivers. Yet, the air at this altitude had grown both thin and cold. I’d need to keep moving if I didn’t want my hide to freeze.

  Catching my breath, I gazed south. From this height, I could easily see the river and the green-grey highland hills we’d crossed only days earlier. Searching further, I swore the dark outline on the horizon was the deep forests and glens of the Khai River valley. Beyond that – Caer Brannog. Home.

  “Beautiful,” Iyumi murmured.

  I glanced, askance, over my shoulder, then followed her gaze. “I suppose it is at that.”

  “Do you think any of them –” she began, her voice halting, unsure. “You know –”

  “No,” I replied, my tone sharp. “They didn’t.”

  Iyumi took my rebuke in stride, and fetched a deep sigh. “They’re in good hands,” she said slowly. “Wherever they are.”

  “No doubt.”

  I cast another glance over my shoulder. “You’d best cover yourself,” I said. “You’ll catch your death up here.”

  Wrapping the cloak more closely about herself, Iyumi smiled into my eyes. “Certainly. Mother hen.”

  Cursing under my breath, I strode out, clawing once again for every rod of height. At times, I traversed a tiny ledge of stone, wide enough for a slender deer or nimble mountain goat, but hardly wide enough for a Centaur of my size. Too often for comfort, my hooves slid over the edge, casting small rocks into the snags of trees, boulders and deadwood far below. When Iyumi suggested, her voice strained, that I change shape and walk with her on two human legs, I ignored her.

  At that angle, I couldn’t see the cave nor the rocky outcropping that marked its location. Craning her neck, Iyumi couldn’t see it, either. “But, we’re close, Van,” she said, excitement rising. “I can feel it. Can’t you?”

  Concentrating on not sending us both over the edge, I merely nodded. I could lie when I felt like it.

  An hour or more later, the mountain leveled out. I caught my breath, panting, managing a heavy trot as the steeply angled slope changed to a gradual incline. Above our heads, the peak, topped with everlasting snow, glared down at us from its immeasurable height. Behind it and its unseen brothers, the sun slowly advanced toward evening. We had perhaps two hours before dusk, the bright sun unable to warm us at this altitude. Though I couldn’t see them, I sensed when dark clouds rolled from the north, hidden behind the tall peaks. My gut and my magic told me yet another late summer storm advanced.

  Iyumi’s hand on my arm halted me. Shifting my feet on the rocks that threatened to turn under them, I glanced over my shoulder at her. She wasn’t looking at me, but rather gazed up, past my head, rapt. I turned my head, following her gaze.

  Up close, the rocky outcropping didn’t look much like an old man’s beetled brow. At this proximity, it resembled a sleeping cat, complete with ears and curved tail. Stunted trees grew over its top, while their predecessors lay in tumbled ruin at its roots. Below it, the cave’s mouth lay half hidden behind rocks and thorny bramble.

  “That’s it?” I asked.

  “That’s it.”

  Iyumi slid from my back before I could stop her. “Whoa, time out, what do you think you’re doing?”

  “Of course I’m going in there.”

  “Of course you are not going in there.”

  Her eyes sparked blue fire. Her brows lowered, as her fair lips, the lips I’d kissed, thinned into a white line. Danger signals, all. Yet, I outweighed her by almost two tons and her anger didn’t intimidate me one bit.

  “Stand down, Captain.”

  I blocked her path to the cave, crossed my arms o
ver my chest and gazed, implacable, down at her. “No.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  Not unlike an irate fishwife, her voice rose several octaves. “No?”

  I scratched my nose, peering down at her fury. “What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand?”

  “I am soooo going to have you drawn and quartered –”

  “Sure,” I replied, soothing. “You can quarter what’s left after your illustrious sire is done with me. Until then, I’ll say what you do and don’t do. Stand down, little girl.”

  “Little –”

  “Save it for your piddling maids,” I snapped. “Stay here.”

  Leaving her to fume, impotent and furious, I stalked toward the cave. Drawing my sword, I held it level and ready. A Centaur owned all the senses and instincts of a horse, the prey animal, yet with the human’s ability to reason through them. Every instinct screamed for me to run, avoid the dangerous cave where I had no room to either flee or fight. I drew in a deep breath, and shut down the inner noise.

  I listened with my heightened hearing, lifted my face so I might better scent the air. I heard nothing save the wind whisper through the trees, the distant scream of a hunting eagle. A small rodent hustled away from my hooves, brushing through years of shed pine needles and loamy soil. I scented tree sap and mulch, mixed with a very old odor of bear. My heightened instinct’s remained silent, unalarmed, as I crept closer to the cave’s mouth.

  Using my sword to part the bramble, I peered into the darkness. The scent of death sent shivers down my spine. Something had died in there, and died very recently. Yet, whatever killed its occupant, it wasn’t violence. The cave didn’t smell of fresh blood.

  What was that? I cocked my head, listening hard. Yes. A heartbeat, echoing through the stone. The breath of a living creature stirred the air, catching in my nostrils. Something yet lived within the stone darkness. Something small and weak and dying.