Bet Me to Stay

by Candace Havens

  …

  Liam wanted to ask more about her family. She’d said she was with them the other night, which meant they probably lived around here. But she was so uncomfortable he decided to leave it alone. “That’s a shame. Family is important. It’s sad that you can’t be with them.” He wrapped the blanket tighter around them.

  “Oh, I do hang out with them sometimes. Weekly dinners, or brunch. Though not as much lately. Just on my terms and never for too long. I guess that’s why I was so stressed that first night we met. I think I told you, but my books, the sweet ones, sales were down. And I wasn’t sure I could ever write sexy, and then I met you.”

  He pulled her tighter. “Best thing that ever happened to me.”

  “Yep. Best assignment I ever had.”

  It should bother him, but it didn’t. Her family might not be proud, but he was. She worked so hard and he truly hoped this helped her career.

  “I know you want to leave the whole music thing behind,” she said, “but one of the ways you could distinguish yourself in the Boston pub scene is to have live bands. I mean, I get it if you don’t want to play. Though I wish you would. I bet you could really draw in a crowd. But you’re a great musician and I bet you’d be able to bring in fantastic people to play. Maybe even some of your old friends.”

  He started to protest, but she turned and put her hand on his cock, and he didn’t have another thought as she unbuttoned his fly. “Just something to think about,” she said, and then her mouth was on him, and all reason left.

  He was no longer sure who was the tutor and who was the student. This easiness between them was better than anything he’d ever experienced in a relationship. And as much as he didn’t want to label what they had, he didn’t see ending this anytime soon.

  Though he had a feeling she might bolt if he told her that. She had a secret, and he was determined to find out what it was. Just not tonight.

  Her hand gripped him, and whatever he was thinking left his head. And then her lips were on his and he was lost in her once again.

  Chapter Twelve

  “You broke my vibrator,” Tansey said. “These new chapters are the hottest, sexiest goodness I’ve read in a really long time. Girlfriend has her mojo back, big time.” Then she fanned herself with her napkin.

  “Thanks?” Cassie said and then laughed. She took a sip of water. They were at Tansey’s favorite deli where writers liked to hang out. It was a who’s who of the bestseller lists. And her friend liked meeting here in case she spotted new talent.

  They also had really great pastrami on rye, which was Tansey’s favorite sandwich. She only allowed herself to have it once a month, and today was the day.

  “And you’re smiling. I haven’t seen that smile since before you dated the dickhead. So is this all still to do with your one-night stand who ended up being, what are you on, three weeks?”

  Cassie shook her head. “It’s so crazy and fucked up. He still doesn’t know the truth about anything to do with my family and it’s killing me. I’m doing something really wrong. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop.” More than once, she’d tried to tell him the truth. Who she really was and that her parents were his competition, but he didn’t want to hear it. He reiterated that they were just using each other for sex.

  But then he’d started asking her to stay and he’d stopped saying it was just for sex. He just liked being near her. They’d had the sweetest time last weekend.

  It was weird and wonderful and a house of sticks that could fall down and collapse at any moment.

  And she kept telling herself that for the last few weeks. He didn’t want to know who she really was. She was his fantasy writer, and he was her inspiration, and he was okay with that.

  But then they started spending time outside the bedroom. He’d taken her to the zoo and given her the behind-the-scenes tour. She’d fed a giraffe and found out that gorillas were powerful and playful.

  They had a late-night picnic up on his rooftop, in his secret garden. There were so many facets to the man, and she was only beginning to discover them all.

  And she was falling down a rabbit hole of fantasy.

  Fingers snapped in front of her face.

  Tansey was trying to get her attention.

  “Sorry.”

  “You can’t say you’re doing something really wrong and nasty with some guy and just stop talking. Are you trying to kill me? Is it the same guy you were telling me about before?”

  “He owns a pub,” she said carefully. Who was she kidding? Tansey was her agent but also one of her best friends and the only person she trusted with her secrets. They both knew where all the bodies were buried; they’d helped each other dig a few graves over the years.

  “Okay. I’m not seeing the problem here.”

  “Across the street from my parent’s place. He’s—um—their competition, and he has no idea who I am. I don’t know why, but when we first met, I gave him my pseudonym and I tried to tell him the truth more than once, but he said he didn’t care. I told you that part before, as long as I wasn’t married or running from the law, he didn’t care about my secrets. And at first, that was great, but now—”

  Tansey watched her with those shrewd eyes of hers. “Wouldn’t be a problem unless you liked him. A lot. I told you to get laid, not to fall for some asshole. I’ve taught you better than this. One and done, two and done is the max. Otherwise someone gets clingy and it just doesn’t end well. Trust me. Monogamy is for losers.”

  “Don’t call him an asshole. He’s sweet and sexy. And he owns my body like no one ever has. It’s passionate and fun. But none of it’s real. I can’t fall for him. There’s the whole ‘he doesn’t know who I really am,’ and the fact he was super upfront about not getting serious.”

  “And yet, you’ve seen him almost every night since you met,” Tansey said.

  “Not every night,” Cassie said. “Wait. Yeah, it’s pretty much been every night but one. But it’s just fucking. And I’m learning so much. You’ve seen the new pages. I’m on a roll. If I tell him the truth, I’ll lose my muse and I might not be able to finish. And I’m so close.”

  Tansey grabbed her hand. “Look, there’s nothing I wanted more for you than to get out of your rut. You have makeup on today. And you’re wearing something that doesn’t look like the eighties threw it up. I’m glad. But I don’t want you to end up with a broken heart, or we’re right back where we started in Sadsville. As long as you’re doing this with both eyes open. I didn’t realize how hard it would be for you to keep your heart out of a hookup.”

  “Oh. My. God.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “For the last time. It’s just S.E.X.”

  Everyone around them stopped talking.

  “I’m not sure they heard you in Jersey,” Tansey said.

  “Whatever.” Funny, a few weeks ago that would have embarrassed the hell out her. Now, not so much. “Also, he’s helped me rebuild my self-confidence. Actually, I’m not sure I’ve ever had it before now. I mean, I wasn’t some loser who didn’t think I had something to contribute, but he makes me feel pretty. Beautiful, even, and like what I want matters.”

  Tansey focused on her sandwich. “Nope. You’re not at all interested in this guy for anything other than sex. Plain as day. Have no idea what I was thinking.”

  “Tansey, stop it. Just let me have this. Okay? You know nothing can come of it. One of us will end it soon. And if he finds out who I really am, well, I hope it never comes to that. That will be the end for sure.”

  “Does he know you’re a writer for real?”

  “Yes. I needed him to know at least that much about me. He’s offered to help. It’s kind of a part of what we do. I ask him questions about sexy stuff, and he shows me how it works. He’s even read some of my books. That first day I went back, after we had sex, he said he’d been reading my book all day.” She sighed. “It’s really kind of sweet when you think about it.”

  “I love you, honey, but this has disaster written all over
it. What if your parents or your brother sees you going in there?”

  “To get out of this week’s brunch, I told them I was working on a catalog shoot out of town and that we were doing copy on the set of the shoot. They don’t even know I’m here. And there are gazillions of women in Boston who look like me. Trust me. I’ve got this.”

  Tansey shook her head. “Sure you do.” Her phone buzzed. “I’ve got to take this. Be back in a bit.” She ran outside to take the call.

  No way was she falling for him. Sure, he was every woman’s dream and it would be easy to lose herself in those biceps, abs, and those beautiful eyes of his. But she had a wall up around her heart. It’d been there since her ex, and she wasn’t about to let it down.

  Not even for sweet, sexy, and boy-did-he-smell-so-good Liam.

  She really did have this.

  When Tansey came back in, she wore a huge grin.

  “What?” Cassie asked.

  “That was New York. They love, love, love the pages. That was your editor. They love them so much that they’re putting a huge campaign together for the book.”

  Cassie’s hand flew to her chest. “That’s so cool.”

  “You’ll be hitting the list with this one. I told you that. And the campaign is ‘who is this mystery writer with the sexiest book of the year?’ So you won’t have to do any press. It will be your editor, which is never done, handling most of that. This is big, my friend. Big. Big. Big. I wish they had champagne in this place. We need to celebrate.”

  A few hours later, Cassie wore a ball cap as she walked down the street to Liam’s pub. She glanced across the street to find people lined up to get into her parents’ place. People went there to be seen; it was one of the reasons she hated working there so much.

  A bunch of pretentious jerks or wannabes always looking over one another’s shoulders to see if someone better might have walked in. She was proud of her family and the empire they’d built. Her dad had nothing when he arrived in Boston. He’d come so far.

  But that was their world. It would never be hers.

  Liam and Finn’s pub was homey and comfortable. It was made for people like her who liked to hang out without the who-is-sitting-with-who vibe. Or who-am-I-going-home-with desperation.

  At Liam’s, everyone chatted and hung out. She’d tried to convince him that adding a different menu item each night would draw him repeat business. He’d listened, and while he’d always had good crowds, she was seeing more and more of the same people coming back.

  Tonight, the place was packed, except for her table, which had a reserved sign.

  She smiled as she ducked in the door, ready to head to her favorite booth in the corner. God, she’d written so many words there, surrounded by the warmth of the pub and watching the patrons interact. While they were trying to hit on one another, it just all felt more authentic than her parents’ place.

  Liam had his back to her, and it took a minute for her to realize a blond woman had her arms wrapped around him.

  What the hell?

  Tempted to turn around and walk out, she stopped. Tansey’s words came back to haunt her. If she really didn’t care, this shouldn’t bother her. He was a handsome guy. They’d made no promises to each other. He was free to see and fuck anyone he wanted.

  But that doesn’t mean I have to watch.

  She turned around and was about to walk out, when there was a hand on her shoulder.

  “Hey, Cassie, where are you going?”

  She paused. “I—ah—”

  “Here, I want you to meet Fiona.”

  He turned her around to face the blonde he’d been holding onto just seconds before.

  Can I just throw up now?

  Ugh.

  “Hi.” She forced herself to smile. “It’s nice to meet you.” She stuck out her hand. Look at me being all grown up about my lover’s, um, lover.

  “Liam tells me this live music idea was yours. I think it’s stellar,” Fiona said.

  “Live music?” Cassie wondered if she’d had a stroke and maybe missed something.

  “We’re going to take out that four-seater at the front and set up a small stage, big enough for three, four if they don’t mind a squeeze,” Liam said. “Fiona used to be on the road with me when we were kids. Helluva singer. We kind of grew up together. She and her wife, Belinda, are going to start us off in a few weeks to open up the venue.”

  They grew up together. She’s gay.

  Oh. Ohhhhh.

  It was all so much to process. He had a lot of gay women friends. She sort of loved that about him.

  No. Not love. Like. You like that about him.

  “You okay?” Liam asked. They were both staring at her like she had three heads.

  “Sorry. I haven’t eaten,” she lied. Well, it had been at least four hours. “I think I spaced there for a minute. I’m so happy about the music. I can’t wait to hear you play,” she said to Fiona. “And that’s a great idea to put them in the front so people on the street can see you have live music and maybe hear a bit.”

  “That’s what we’re saying,” Liam said. “Maybe some of those pricks in line across the street might take notice and come to a real pub for once.”

  She blanched, but she didn’t think either of them noticed. Hadn’t she just had the same thought about her parents’ customers? He wasn’t wrong. It just sort of hurt to hear him say it.

  You are so fucked up.

  “Well, I better get home. Belinda’s making tacos, and if I’m late she’ll put too much cayenne in there and I won’t be able to feel my tongue for a week.” She reached up and kissed Liam’s cheek. “This one has some great ideas. You might want to hold on to her.” Then she touched Cassie’s shoulder as she left.

  She stood there in a daze, her mind whirling with gay friends and music, and the fact that he really did hate her parents’ business. No way she blamed him, but still.

  The guilt weighed heavy on her and everything was so wrong.

  “You need to eat,” he said. “Have a seat and I’ll bring you some of the new meatloaf. It’s our new Saturday night special.”

  He’d listened to her about the food and the music. Unlike her family, he appreciated her ideas. How many times had she made suggestions only to be shot down by her dad and her brother? They never even pretended to appreciate her contributions. She was creative and saw things differently than most people. Liam seemed to appreciate that about her.

  So why did she feel so sick?

  Because you’re a lying bitch. You need to tell him the truth.

  But not tonight.

  “I need to go,” she said. “I forgot an appointment.”

  “Friday night at seven.” He frowned. “Do you have a date?” The words were a harsh whisper.

  “Uh, date? No. I need to talk to my agent about something.” The fact that she was totally right and I’m in way too deep. Way too fucking deep. I was jealous. Of a gay woman. Twice.

  “Lass, tell me what’s wrong. In two seconds. Don’t go anywhere. Let me get you some food and a pint, and you can tell me what’s rolling around in that beautiful head of yours.”

  He was taking care of her. Making sure she was okay, even though she was being not-so nice.

  What is wrong with me?

  She wanted to run away, to go as far from the realization that she’d been jealous. It had only been a few weeks. And he treated her like an equal. How sad was that? He respected her ideas more than her own family.

  It all scared the hell out of her. He was just having fun, but she was in way, way, way over her head.

  Tansey, screw you for being right.

  He was back through the doors and heading for her special table with a tray, and now she was trapped. Her mind went blank.

  She continued to just stand there, and he led her to the booth and gently pushed her down.

  “Eat,” he ordered. “I’m worried about you. Are you ill? You’re so pale.”

  So she stuffed a big bite of meatloaf
in her mouth. If she was eating, she didn’t have to talk—or tell him the truth about what a lying skank she was. The intensity of his stare had her glancing back down at her food. “Mmmmmm,” she said.

  “That’s my mum’s recipe. She texted it to me. If you knew my mother, you’d know how funny that is. She hates technology. I spent the first five months here trying to get the books straight and to match the inventory.”

  She took another bite so she still didn’t have to talk.

  Coward.

  Yep.

  “I’m gonna admit something,” he said. “Something I might regret later.”

  This was it. He was breaking it off between them. Good. Obviously, this was best for both of them.

  “Okay,” she said as she sat her fork down.

  “I need to know that you don’t really have a date. That you weren’t lying about meeting your agent.”

  But she had been lying.

  Hell.

  “I don’t have a date,” she said carefully.

  “Thank the gods. I know this is temporary, but—I was jealous as fuck there for a few seconds. I like what we’re doing. And while we’re doing it, I don’t want to see other people. I was hoping you’d feel the same way.”

  He wasn’t saying goodbye.

  Wait. What was he saying exactly?

  “I don’t understand.”

  He sat down next to her and leaned toward her. “You’re mine,” he whispered.

  She grinned and ducked her head. “Oh.”

  “You say that when you’re not sure about something. I’m telling you what I need. I need you to be mine.”

  “It’s only been a few weeks. And you said you don’t do—uh—this sort of thing.” More than once he’d made it clear that he wasn’t into relationships. His ex had done a real number on him. And she totally understood. But now? Why did it give her such a thrill to know he wanted to be exclusive?

  You’re fucking nuts.

  She was. But there was no denying the tingles that started at her toes and warmed her body through.

  “I know. Doesn’t make any fucking sense to me, but I died a little there when I thought you had a date.”