Tenacity (Rise of the Iliri Book 5)

by Auryn Hadley

  "I understand," Shade assured him. "Must be nice, though."

  "Most times, but my folks are in Eastward. Told them to lay low or get out. They won't leave, so I'm worried sick about them."

  "Eastward?"

  "Yeah. It's about to be taken by Terric."

  She reached out, touching Celso's hand across the table. "I'm sorry!"

  "Thanks. We're hoping Anglia will help. That's why we're here. Sal said she'd try. Kicking a drunk off seems like nothing in exchange, ya know?" He glanced down at her hand and her eyes followed his.

  Something about him allowed her to finally relax. "I know. She said the same thing to me this morning. It meant a lot."

  "Yeah." He pulled his hand to his lap. "We've been in combat a long time. We understand. Some wounds take a little space to heal."

  "Or a friend." She tipped her head to the dance floor. "I stumbled into a group of them."

  A chuckle made her head snap over. Zep stood beside her, grinning.

  "That what you're calling it now, imp?" She blushed and nodded, but Zep continued, "She tried to set me on fire."

  "What did you do?" Celso asked.

  "Thought I was saving the damsel in distress. Needless to say, I was wrong." Zep shrugged.

  "She throw a lantern at you?"

  "Nah." Zep tapped his head. "She doesn't need a lantern. She's our secret weapon, man."

  Celso looked confused, so Shade grabbed a glass from the table with a bit of alcohol left it in. "Watch," she said proudly. With a smile, she stared at the fluid for a second, and a pale blue flame appeared. She offered the glass to him, the flame flickering in the bottom.

  "Fuck," Celso breathed, tapping the man next to him. "She just lit it on fire!"

  "Yeah, alcohol burns." He couldn't understand what the fuss was about.

  "She didn't have a fire, striker, match, nothing. She thought it on fire!"

  "Serious?"

  "Serious," she said. "It's what I do."

  "You people scare me," Rais said from the other side. "You know that, right?"

  "Yeah, man," Zep said, "but we're winning. Just remember that. The little imp there took out at least thirty from the top of a hill today. She can see as far as Cyno and kill anything in sight."

  "Thirty-two," Shade bragged. "Gave em to the pool."

  Rais looked at Zep for a long moment. "What pool?"

  "I shouldn't have said that, huh?" she asked Zep with an apologetic look.

  He shrugged. "It's not a secret, they're just new here."

  "Zep?" Rais asked carefully. "What is maerte?"

  "You don't want to know. Don't eat it."

  "Zep?" he insisted.

  "It's human flesh," Sal said walking to the table. "Yes, we eat it. No, we won't eat you. There's more than enough Terrans to feed Syhar."

  "The..." Celso gulped. "The whole city?"

  "The iliri," Sal clarified. "Remember, Anglia consists of grauori, iliri, and humans."

  Rais huffed in surprise. "That's going to be awkward in the Conglomerate."

  "You'll learn to deal with it." Her tone was adamant.

  His shoulders drooped. "We don't have a choice."

  "It's not gross," Shade said. "See?" She pointed to a table across from them. "Laern won't serve it to you, even if you ask."

  "Boss?" a man down the table asked.

  "Get over it," Sal told him. "You ever see me berserk?"

  "No," Rais admitted, "but we heard the stories."

  "That stops it. We're meant to eat our kills. I don't know why, but something in human meat stops the bloodlust, so we're clearly meant to eat it." She cocked her head. "Still want me to come with you?"

  "Yeah."

  "But you're not as happy about it."

  "I don't really like the idea of being a meal, Sal." He gestured for her to sit. "I have to be honest. I can't help but wonder what that person's family would think."

  "It's better to just rot? Huge mounds of dead littering the countryside everywhere we go?" Sal shook her head in frustration. "We have a ton of grauori with us. I'm going to bring thousands to the Conglomerate."

  The men of the 112th nodded, understanding military strategy better than the feelings they were trying to ignore.

  "How would I feed them?" she went on. "Each one eats as much as a large man, sometimes more. The group of elites I'm taking? Yeah, we won't need near that, and the humans can live on grains and breads for quite a while. Try to feed me that? I'd be sick within a week."

  "She's a carnivore," Shade said proudly.

  "Obviously," Rais agreed. "So you're saying that without this habit, you'd devastate the country?"

  "Yeah." Sal flicked her ears up. "Ever wonder why your armies are so small? Ever wonder why everyplace Terric has been is a wasteland?"

  "Yeah, feeding an army isn't easy."

  "No, it isn't," she agreed. "Our way is cleaner, cheaper, and more efficient. The grauori are amazing hunters. Three of them can take down a bear. One can kill a boar. We don't need supplies, except for the humans and our little luxuries." She held up her glass as an example.

  "This is why you want the iliri out of the CFC, isn't it?" Rais asked. "Because we can't deal with it?"

  Sal nodded. "Ever wonder what happens in Guttertown?"

  "I stay out of that place. It's not safe."

  "Right. We all know about the murders, but what happens to the bodies?"

  "Oh crap," Rais whispered. "Right under our noses?"

  "Yeah. Let me have them. We keep it out of sight. You won't see our meals prepared, you won't see anything you can't handle. Look around. This is an Iliran Inn. Those swirls on the front door? That's our writing."

  "What does it say?"

  "The White Stone, the name of the inn. Unav is Iliran. Viraenova is Iliran. Anglia is predominantly grauoran. Get used to it."

  Rais ducked his head. "I'm trying, Sal."

  "I know," she assured him, "but we're not human. I tried and nearly killed myself with it. We can't be human, and Anglia doesn't care. We're so effective because we aren't human, and we can do things that you can only dream of. I'm sure you've heard the rumors."

  "Magic," Celso said. "We've heard, but we didn't believe."

  Rais rubbed at his temple. "I think we should, if what Shift and Arctic showed me is that common."

  "Healing with a touch, reading thoughts with a touch, sharing memories clearly - "

  "Usually with a touch," Zep finished. "See a theme here?"

  Rais nodded. "Which is why iliri don't want to be touched. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense."

  "There's more," Zep assured him. "They kept it secret for over three thousand years. Sal only shared this when Anglia embraced us."

  Eventually, the conversation turned to less delicate subjects. As they talked, Shade realized she was always included but never expected to participate. The Blades watched over her, protected her, yet gave her space. It was what she'd always thought a family must be like. Most of them treated her no different than they did Risk and Tilso, except they refused to touch her without asking. Oddly, it wasn't awkward. It wasn't as if they had to prevent themselves from touching her; they simply didn't.

  Except Arctic. When they'd been together earlier, she'd seen him reach out to her and pause a few times. Shade watched Sal with her mates and recognized the same habit. Apparently, to the iliri, touch was a very important and personal thing.

  And there was something about Arctic she liked. He was so careful, so kind and considerate. When he made a mistake, he admitted it, without letting her feel like she was wrong. She looked around the room, wondering where he was but was too afraid to ask.

  When he returned from his trip with Tilso, she noticed as soon as he walked through the front door, then watched as he made his way to the table looking embarrassed. Politely, Arctic asked her to step outside with him. Blushing, she agreed.

  With the sounds of the inn fading behind the closed door, he asked, "You're ok alone with me?"

&n
bsp; Shade nodded, smiling at him. "Yeah. And I can call for help, now. I didn't know it would matter so much."

  "Well, I got you something."

  He looked at her shyly, then held up a finger, begging her to wait while he ducked around the stone staircase. With a boyish grin, he retrieved a bouquet and handed them to her. Pale white and pink flowers were tied in a small bundle.

  Her eyes grew wide. "No one's ever given me flowers before."

  He shrugged, unable to hide the silly smile. "I just thought you might like them. Tilso said it's a thing."

  "I do." She looked at Arctic for a moment, then hugged him in a rush. Wrapping her arms around his, she pinned them to his body. His grin only got wider.

  "I feel like an idiot around you, Shade. I'm sorry."

  "Why?"

  He laughed. "An idiot because I can't think straight. Sorry, because you deserve to have someone impress you."

  "Arctic. You make me feel ok, you know that?"

  "I'm not being too creepy?"

  "Nah." She leaned back to see his face. "Jase said it's instinctual."

  "Yeah." He chuckled at himself. "It is. Doesn't really affect the women, but iliri men all are driven by it." He shrugged. "I know that, but it's not what it feels like, you know?"

  "What does it feel like?"

  He reached up and shoved his hair out of his face. "I can't stop thinking about you. I want to protect you and take care of you." He turned his face to the stars peeking out from between the dark clouds. "I want to always be where I can smell you. I know that sounds stupid, but..." He shrugged.

  "You want to fuck me," Shade said softly.

  A strangled sound came from the back of his throat. "Yes and no." He gestured for her to move over to a bench and sit, then lowered himself to the ground in front of her. "I'm iliri, and we don't handle things like this the same as humans, ok? There's no shame in talking about it, so I'm going to answer your question as well as I can."

  Shade nodded. Oddly, she felt no fear being alone with him.

  "Would I like to have sex with you? One day. Not now, and not anytime soon. The idea of you being terrified of me disgusts me. The thought of you trusting me enough for that? That's what I want." He held up a hand to hold off her comments. "Thing is, our drive to find a mate? It's not just about children. Iliri bond for protection. That's why LT has us work in pairs. Very few couples ever have kids, and those who do? It's usually just one. Our instincts are about protecting the pack, not really about breeding."

  Shade nodded again, trying to take it all in.

  "You smell nice in a way I can't even describe. I need that smell like a fish needs water. But it's not just your smell, it's to see you happy. You ever see the guys with Sal?"

  "Her mates? Yeah."

  "No, the rest of us."

  Shade thought about it and nodded. That's what had made her decide these men were so different.

  He wrapped his arms around his knees. "We like to touch her. We hug her, we kiss her head, and we just like to be near her. That's what I want. That contact."

  "But not sex?"

  "No. I want the trust, not the act."

  "What if I never want it?"

  He shrugged. "Then you never do."

  "And you're ok with that?"

  "Yeah," he promised. "I really am. I'm not the type of man to jump in any woman's bed. Ask Sal."

  "She said you're too careful."

  That made him laugh. "I believe it. That, and too serious. She accuses me of both on a regular basis. She's right, too."

  Shade giggled, making him smile at the sound of it.

  "So you're still ok with me?" he asked.

  "Yeah." She sniffed at the bouquet in her hand. "I like you. I think that instinct thing kinda works both ways, we're just not as smart about it." A tiny smile touched her lips. "Did you really stay up all night watching my door?"

  "Fuck," he groaned. "How did she know that?"

  Shade shrugged. "Thank you."

  "I'm gonna take care of you. I can't help it. I'll give you space, but I need to do this, ok?"

  "I like it," she whispered. "No one ever tried to take care of me."

  He nodded but looked up again, blinking. "Fuck," he whispered, then wiped at his eyes. "Damned human ancestry."

  "It's ok. I won't tell anyone you cry, if you don't tell when I do?"

  "Deal," he said, rubbing at the other one.

  "Will you sit up here?" She shifted over to make space. "I don't mind."

  "You sure?"

  She nodded. "I'm not scared of you. Not really." He moved to the bench and sat stiffly next to her. Shade leaned her head on his arm. "I haven't seen the stars in a long time, you know that?"

  "No." He acted like he was scared to move.

  "Or flowers." She smiled up at him and pulled his arm around her, laying back against his chest.

  "And your first day we throw you into a battle."

  "Yeah. It's ok. I liked helping, and it's what I can do. I like all of you. You don't make me feel like a freak."

  "Ayati, Shade, you're not a freak. You're amazing. What you do with your mind? I've never seen anything like it. You saved so many people today, you know that?"

  "Really?"

  "Oh yeah. Archers can kill a couple dozen men before we can get healers to them. We only lost eleven."

  She sucked at her lower lip. "What's normal?"

  "For us? About twenty-five to fifty. For, like, the Conglomerate? Hundreds if not thousands. We cleaned out over three thousand Terrans."

  "Good." She said nothing for a long time, and Arctic just sat there, looking down at her. When she finally spoke again, it was almost a whisper. "How do we know which ones are the good guys?"

  "We can smell things on them. Fear, hate, things like that."

  "I can't. How do I know?"

  "I dunno, Shade. I've always been able to smell it."

  "Now that I'm in the link, does that make it easier to share?"

  "Yeah," he said. "Wanna see what hate smells like?"

  She nodded against his chest, still looking at the stars. When he offered the memory, it felt like pressure and light in her mind. She looked at it, then inhaled as she experienced the memory.

  "That's what Terrans smell like. What do I smell like?"

  He smiled and placed that memory in her mind, saying, "You smell like perfection."

  She leaned her cheek against his chest and breathed deeply, this memory was longer than the one before. "Like sunshine?"

  "Sunshine, smiles, and a good friend. You smell like fresh herbs and hearing my brother is safe. Like the first flowers of spring, or a clean creek on a summer's day. You smell like..." he trailed off, unable to explain it.

  "Like love," Shade whispered.

  "Yeah," he said, kissing the top of her head. She smiled.

  Chapter 16

  The hour grew later and the celebration began to die down. Devil Dogs, Verdant Shields, and Black Blades seemed to hover in every corner of the room. Even in their time off, few of them were able to truly relax. Any sudden gesture drew their eyes and hands had been resting where blades should have been all night. Sal was glad so few of them were carrying. Not that it made any of them less deadly, it just made them less likely to cause an accident. They'd been in a combat zone consistently for over two months. Not a day went by without bloodshed, but so far only one hundred and seventy-three of their Anglian soldiers had been lost. It was still one hundred and seventy-three more than Sal wanted, but it was so much less than what she'd feared.

  "Have you seen Shade?" she asked Blaec as she leaned against his arm.

  "She went out with Arctic a while ago," he told her. "You can't hear them?"

  "Nah. Arctic knows I can listen. So they haven't come back in yet?"

  Blaec shook his head. "He's not going to hurt her, love. You know that."

  "I do. Question is, does she?" Sal sighed and pulled away, tossing back the last gulp of mead in her glass. "I'm gonna check." />
  "I'll go with you," he offered.

  Sal held up her hand. "You know she doesn't do too many people well. I'm also a lot quieter than you."

  Blaec laughed and nodded. "Fine, you win. Don't stay out too long, ok?" Sal raised her eyebrows at him, and Blaec shrugged. "I was hoping to convince you to check out the common men's rooms."

  With a laugh, she kissed him. "Oh love, there's nothing common about you. Jase and Zep already headed up. Did you all plan this or something?"

  Blaec just smiled at her, his guilt showing. "Maybe."

  "Ok. I'll be back soon. I just want to make sure she's ok."

  Sal stood and made her way through the room, using a small side door instead of the crowded one at the front that the Syharans were using. Laern smiled when she passed, his face weary but pleased. The White Stone had been packed that night. Probably for the first time in years, if Sal had to guess. All of the staff looked exhausted, but in a satisfied way.

  She hoped this was a good sign for the future of Unav. If they could rebound from Terran oppression so easily here, then there was hope for the people further east. Terric had only held Syhar for three months, though. The other side of the mountains had been under the Emperor's hand for over a decade. Each step east would make it that much harder to repair the damage. Shade was just one example of what people had suffered.

  The door at the end of the hall led onto a small garden between the inn and the stables. She pushed it open just far enough to slide her body through, then eased it closed behind her. The evening was cool enough that Sal tugged her shirt closed and hugged it to her as she walked lightly across the gravel. In the darkness, the city turned to shades of grey, her strange eyes losing color but not perception. When she stepped from the stairs, she saw them sitting casually on the bench, Shade resting against Arctic's chest.

  "I hear you," Arctic said softly. "Checking the horses?"

  "Something like that," Sal agreed.

  "I like the stars," Shade told her, turning to Sal with a smile on her face.

  "You good, kid?" Sal asked, nodding at Arctic.

  "She can't see you, demon. Shade, she means with me."