Tenacity (Rise of the Iliri Book 5)

by Auryn Hadley

  He meant used her abilities to seduce him. Shame flooded her as she remembered. It had been her best trick, making all of her master's guests love her instantly. She'd please them, they'd offer her master a gift as repayment, and she'd get a real meal for it.

  Once again, she looked at her feet. "I'm sorry."

  "Stop that," he hissed, pulling her chin up again. "Don't you dare lower your eyes to me. Never, Sal."

  "But - "

  "Never," he growled. "Now c'mon. You need a bath. I need to cook you something, and I've never cooked maerte before - and we're running out of night." He offered her a weak smile. "We'll deal with all the rest of this while we make it to the Siahies, ok?"

  "Yeah. Just so long as we make it."

  ***

  The fire at their cave had burned down to embers. Almost two corpses - one short a leg - were still laying by the entrance. Kolt decided that was about as easy as it was going to get for fresh meat, so he pulled the rest of the woman inside. Sal, he sent to the creek to get cleaned up in private. She'd tied the horses with some trick she'd learned as a Black Blade. He didn't know how, and right now he had a few more important things to think about. Like keeping her from falling apart.

  When they'd linked for that little killing spree, he'd felt more than she knew. She tried to hide the pain in her mind, but it still leaked through enough to be distracting. Only a thread was holding her together - and it was called willpower. The desperation? That nearly broke his heart.

  He still couldn't believe she didn't hate him. For the last seven years, he'd been convinced that he'd ruined his chances of impressing the only Kaisae the iliri had left. What he'd done that night? She should despise him for it. Anyone else would.

  Yet Sal only wanted to thank him. He wasn't sure for what. She said he changed her life, but he hadn't. No one had believed she existed. No matter how hard he tried, he hadn't been able to convince anyone to buy her title or free her. It made no sense, but this was the second chance he'd always hoped for. The Kaisae of all iliri had decided to trust him completely, and he wasn't dumb enough to take that for granted.

  Kolt turned the steak on the rock he was using to cook it. Cooking human flesh was another thing he'd never done before, but she trusted him to get it right, so he'd try. The least she deserved was a half decent meal now that she was heading back where she belonged. Granted, it had been a long time since he'd cooked for anyone but himself.

  And now he was cooking for her. The little bitch was amazing. She also twisted his instincts and confused the shit out of him.

  Being around her, he should feel special, but he didn't. He should feel safe, but he felt like it was his job to do the protecting. He should wilt at her dominance like everyone else, but he found himself staring deep into her eyes. The thought of her gaze dropping before his made his heart pound. When she'd done it earlier? He had to stop her. She was everything an iliri was supposed to be, and so painfully perfect.

  Oh, he'd listened to the guys in his unit make jokes about her alien features, but he could never agree. She was a predator - and built like one. Her body was nothing but lean muscle, her face was shaped for maximum carnage, but her eyes... He could spend hours looking for the hints of color in her pale irises. He also couldn't look away.

  Not that she'd submit to him. He wasn't Blaec Doll, and he'd never be enough of a man to fill those shoes. No one would. Kolt was a loner, shunned from the society she took for granted, fumbling through what little bits of his culture he could learn from books. He'd never had a pack. He'd never learned the basic things people just expected from others.

  In some ways, that isolation made him stronger.

  Like every iliri, he knew the Kaisae was their leader, and all males would submit to her... except him. Sal needed him to be strong enough to take care of her. That much she'd made clear when they'd been linked, even if she hadn't meant to, and he could do that.

  She thought his ability to meet her gaze was a clue to his character. The reality was that he'd just never learned anything else. For as long as he could remember, he'd had to fight back or get rolled, and he was sick and tired of being the one wearing the dirt. He'd learned to keep going because he had to. He had no one else. Maybe that's why he didn't fit in. Maybe it wasn't just his dark skin that convinced the iliri that he didn't belong, but also his stubbornness.

  At least it would help him keep her safe long enough to get her home to the men who loved her. It wasn't much, but guarding a Kaisae had always been his dream. This was the closest he could get. As a boy, he'd thought that if he was good enough, one would seek him out, but that was before he understood why men stood on either side of her. Being the perfect soldier wasn't enough. Her guardians were also her lovers.

  Enik Kolton was nothing like Blaec Doll. The only thing the two of them had in common was their mongrel ancestry. He wouldn't be leading anything except the next bar brawl. He certainly wasn't the kind of man a Kaisae fell in love with – and he didn't want to be.

  He was an expert at infiltration. He could play any part he needed to, and if that's what it took to get her home, then maybe Ayati had picked the right beast. A man who understood humans better than his own kind and who couldn't take advantage of the Kaisae, even though she was at her weakest. He could do this. For the next couple of weeks, he'd even enjoy it. What he wouldn't do this time, was fuck it up.

  Then again, Sal wouldn't judge him the same way humans had.

  She was the hope of their entire species, and he was perfect for this. He knew how to beat the odds. He didn't have a clue how to be a proper iliri, but he knew how to keep going. He'd been ostracized from his culture, and yet the leader of it was right outside, depending on him. If that wasn't proof that Ayati had one hell of a sense of humor, then they were already fucked.

  Laughing at his own bad joke, Kolt pulled the meat off the fire and set it to the side. Her piece was twice the size of his, but she'd warned him that it'd make him tipsy the first time. The smell was tantalizing, but the idea of eating humans was a bit intimidating, too. He'd seen hounds get a craving for the wrong thing and have to be put down. Once he knew if they tasted as good as they smelled, would he be able to stop? But the only way to be sure was to try, and the Kaisae insisted. Kolt added another log to the fire, then headed out to tell Sal their dinner was ready.

  "Kaisae?" he whispered as he emerged from the too-short passage.

  "Mm?"

  He followed her voice to the edge of the creek. The pale light of dawn proved that her uniform wasn't the one she should be wearing. The purple was too vivid against her white skin, but she'd look amazing in anything. The problem was the sorrow on her face. Her eyes watched leaves float in the slow water, proving she was lost in her own thoughts.

  "Sal," he tried again, moving closer. "It's done, I think."

  She nodded, but it was weak. "I miss him, Kolt." Those big white eyes turned on him. "I keep wanting to ask him what I should do, or make sure he knows the next part of the plan, but he's gone." Her voice broke on the last word.

  "I know," he told her softly, making his way closer. "And it hurts. Not just in your mind, but your heart. It's ok to miss him, Sal." Without asking, he claimed the space beside her.

  "I want him back," she whispered softly. "I can't believe he's dead."

  Kolt wrapped his arms tight around her, slowly easing Sal against his chest. "I know, babe. I know, but nothing will change it, now."

  She shook her head, trying to fight the emotions. "I don't have time for this."

  "We do." He tilted her head up, pressing it against his shoulder, and offered his mind as Sal clung to him desperately. "We have time for you to grieve."

  His words released something in her. It was like she shattered. Whimpering in his arms, she pulled his mind to her like a lifeline. He gave himself over completely, melding with her like they'd done it a million times before, and it hit him. The wave of sadness was more than he could've imagined, and Kolt pressed his cheek against t
he top of her head, the tears falling. He cried for her, there beside the creek, sobbing harder than he ever had before.

  Sal felt it. The tears falling from his eyes, the sob in his throat - it was hers. For the first time in her life, she could cry, and he was letting her. The pain of Blaec's loss wracked both their bodies and tore through both of their minds. Kolton just clung to her, slowly rocking back and forth, knowing she needed the release, and this was the only way she could have it. He let her mourn Blaec in the only way she could, through him. He didn't know how much time passed before the pain eased only for a deep smoldering anger to replace it.

  "You'll be ok," he promised, feeling the change. "You'll make them pay."

  "Just him," she swore. "Just the Emperor. The rest of us are just pawns in this war, but I'll make sure he knows exactly how much this hurts."

  "Yeah." He gently caressed her head, feeling her delicate ears bend beneath his palm. "And I'll help you as much as I can, but that means you need to eat something to keep you going."

  She nodded, for once not trying to deny it. "And you, too."

  "Already made two steaks." He leaned back to see her face. "Just don't let me fall off my horse if I'm drunk, ok? Star Fall aren't the kind of horsemen you Blades are."

  Something flickered across her face. As she pulled her mind back, he caught the smallest hint of it, little more than an image of Blaec walking beside her while she rode. Training. Horsemen. Biting back the groan, he closed his eyes and hoped she didn't notice. He'd just done it again, reminded her how much Blaec had changed her life.

  "It's ok," she told him. "Those memories aren't the ones that hurt." When he looked at her, she smiled. It was weak but still there. "Regret. It's pungent, but not in a way I can describe. Probably because I don't get it."

  She meant his scent. Kolt chuckled, realizing he'd have to remember that. She couldn't just smell him, she could smell what he was feeling. "Trust me, it's a very inconvenient emotion. C'mon, Sal. Let me feed you. This is my first time preparing maerte, and I'm hoping it's not horrible."

  "Never horrible," she assured him. "It's better raw - at least to me - but even cooked, it's still tender enough to sink my - " Her head twitched, and her eyes dropped to his mouth. "You have human teeth," she realized, studying him.

  He chuckled as he guided her back to the cave. "Kinda. I filed down the canines, and it's rare for people to look too close."

  "We should fix that."

  "Healing them, you mean? Why?" Not that he was opposed.

  She ducked into the opening, not answering until both of them were inside. "Because it's a lot easier to eat when your mouth works right." Then she grabbed his wrist. "And every iliri deserves to have our best weapon. Close your eyes."

  He did, but it wasn't enough to stop the world from spinning. Sal's hand did that. Those tiny white fingers held him grounded, finally giving him a purpose. As Kolt felt his teeth lengthen, realigning his jaw, he couldn't help but smile. For his entire life, he'd fought against discrimination from both humans and iliri. Now, alone with the last Kaisae on the continent, he finally had the chance to make his son proud of him.

  Chapter 34

  Sal ate until she couldn't manage any more. Kolt ate just enough to start smiling. By the time the sun was turning the sky pink, they were done, packed, and ready to go. Unfortunately, they didn't have the time or the energy to bother cleaning up the destruction they'd left behind, but it wouldn't matter. When Terric figured it out, they'd have a decent enough lead, and the horses were fresh.

  Thankfully, Kolt rode well enough, even if his balance wasn't as good as it should be. Sal, however, was feeling a lot better. She still ached in her head, and she'd always miss Blaec, but she was going home. That mattered. It gave her the hope she'd been missing for what seemed like an eternity - ever since she'd been taken from Syhar.

  But since they were traveling in the open, she needed to fix one thing. Her uniform was Terran, her horse was stolen from the Empire. The only problem was how she looked. Her white skin would give her away at a distance, but that was something she could change. She didn't even have to create a new look. The visage she'd used so long ago to seduce Blaec would work perfectly.

  "If anyone asks," she told Kolt, "my name is Siana Praxis." Then she changed.

  His eyes raked over her, and a smile claimed his lips. "And it looks like I'm traveling with one hell of a beautiful lady. Just make sure I don't have to beat off any randy soldiers, ok?"

  "Oh hush." She couldn't help but chuckle, well aware that he was joking. At least she thought he was.

  He didn't offer more. For the first few hours of their trip, they traveled in silence. Step by weary step, the horses plodded toward the tall rocky peaks of the Siahies. A few times, Sal adjusted their course, relying on the sense of direction she'd learned from Razor, but her grasp of it wasn't as fine-tuned.

  When Kolt heard she was taking them to a town, he reined his horse to a stop. She had to convince him it was an iliri town, and that the skill really would work before he'd agree to go another step. That little disagreement made the awkwardness between them even worse. She barely knew this man, and what she did know of him was split between two people. Her long lost officer wasn't supposed to be anything like the arrogant soldier from Star Fall, but she couldn't deny her senses. It wasn't just her nose but also her mind.

  And the rush of iron was enough to make him perfectly happy to travel in silence. Sal couldn't say the same. For as long as she could remember, traveling meant honest conversations, and she had a lot of questions she really wanted answers for.

  Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore, so started with something easy. "How'd you learn to link so easily, anyway? Or is that something that's just instinctual?"

  His buzz was fading, but it still took him a minute to reply. "You mean for conversation, or, um, blending our minds?"

  "Like we did in battle."

  He huffed a laugh. "Sal, I have a son, remember."

  "Yeah, but..." She paused at his incredulous look. "What?"

  "Skin to skin, any iliri can link. Didn't your lovers -" He closed his mouth with a snap. "Dumb question."

  "I kinda did everything backwards. So I guess that means it's instinctual." She tried to rub her embarrassment off her face. "Kinda like biting."

  "Even humans bite." He shrugged. "So I guess."

  "No, I meant, um..." Yeah, she was digging this hole even deeper. "Like how we always know which arm a man uses, so we know which to mark." She gestured at him. "I'm sure you know all about that too. Probably have a nice line of scars there from your wife."

  He pulled his shirt back, letting her eyes see his pristine shoulder. "I don't. I've never been claimed like that. I know how to speak our language, and quite a few other customs of our people, but always from a distance. I've never been claimed."

  "But you have a son?"

  He smiled. "I'm starting to think our last meal put me at a distinct disadvantage. Who knew humans gave such a buzz."

  She wouldn't let him change the subject that easily. "You married her, but she never truly claimed you?"

  "Exactly." He shifted in the saddle. "I'm a loaner, Sal. I'm too dominant to mingle with most crossbreds, and there aren't enough of us with high percentages of iliri ancestry anymore for me to fit with. I'm considered to be a bit of an asshole, I guess. I speak my mind and I refuse to submit to something stupid. We were married, not really mated. I'm not exactly the ahnor type."

  "What is the ‘ahnor type' anyway?" she asked. "Because Jase said the same thing, and I proved him wrong."

  He took a deep breath, clearly thinking about it. "I guess it's the type of man you trust enough to share your secrets with."

  "I share my secrets with all of my pack." She wasn't going to let him off with some half-assed answer like that. "Kinda the point of a pack. At least that's what I thought."

  He huffed, shaking his head. "And yet you never told them about what happened before you were conscrip
ted?"

  She closed her mouth on the reply she'd had ready. He'd caught her completely off guard. "Because they'd want to make that human pay and we have more to deal with."

  He turned, pointedly looking in her eyes. "And every man who lay in your bed in Merriton."

  "You were the one who said no."

  "I almost said yes." He threw up his hands. "Fuck, Sal. I almost said yes to what you were offering, and we both know Cyno will kill me for it."

  "He won't. Zep might, but Jase won't."

  Kolton laughed. "Not sure Zep is any better. I've sparred with him. First hit knocked me off my feet. Cyno's fast, but Zep's a damned mule."

  "They already know. You realize that, right?" There was no way she was going to let him change the subject again.

  "About the first time I saw you?"

  She nodded. "Jase has always known about that time of my life. Zep is figuring it out. They don't blame you."

  "I blame me," he grumbled.

  "And I don't," she reminded him. "I always wanted to thank the man who changed everything, but I never even knew your name."

  He slowly looked up at her, holding her eyes. "Enik Kolton, iliri in hiding. My true friends call me Kolt." He held out his hand, smiling when she moved her horse to rest hers in it. Without looking away, he lifted her fingers to his lips and kissed them gently. "It was my greatest pleasure to meet you, Kaisae."

  "You'd make a wonderful courtier," she teased.

  He laughed. "I've played the part before, but I'll never be one of those simpering fools groveling for a hint of your attention. I'm not going to just roll over because you tell me to. I'm the kind of man who'd tell you to bite me instead."

  She laughed at his choice of words. "I think you've been with humans too long." The confused look on his face only made her laugh more, exposing her sharp teeth. "You look me in the eyes - a lot - then dare me to bite you? Just didn't know if you were aware of the connotations of that."