Tenacity (Rise of the Iliri Book 5)

by Auryn Hadley

"Yeah." Audgan dismissed that. "So you want to tell me what happened while you were out there?"

  With a sigh, Kolt leaned against one of the saddles. "I couldn't get to Blaec in time. I didn't think they'd kill him so soon. We'd planned to get him out that night, but we had to find a way to get the keys. They had both of them chained like dogs."

  "How'd he die?"

  "Sal fucked up the Emperor. She pulled his skills right out of his mind. To make her pay, they cut his throat. In front of her. Right fucking in front of her eyes."

  "And she couldn't stop it," Audgan whispered. "She was chained and unable to help him. She'd rather die."

  "Well, she didn't," Kolt said. "She's gotten over it before, she can do it again."

  Audgan raised his lip slightly as he gestured. Kolt suddenly felt confined. Trapped. He was bound, and there was no way to be free except to lose himself. They had control of him. It wouldn't take long before he'd gladly do anything they asked just so he could eat, or sleep, or even sit. That resin on his neck was more powerful than a dagger in his ribs. Kolt's knees buckled and he clawed at a collar that existed only in his mind, gasping for breath around it when suddenly the sensation simply vanished.

  "Don't ever make light of fear," Audgan growled.

  "I didn't," Kolt told the young man, trying to get his breath back. "I just know it's a lot easier to get over than being dead, and I know that of all people, Sal is strong enough to do it."

  "You have no idea what she lived through."

  Kolt opened his mouth and stopped. "You're right. I just know that we need her."

  "You've never been a slave, you have no idea," Audgan snarled again, his eyes locked on Kolt's chest.

  He couldn't look higher, Kolt realized. Audgan could not meet Kolt's eyes no matter how hard he tried. It made Kolt feel strangely protective. He took a step closer to the kid and rested his hand on his shoulder.

  "I've been enslaved in other ways. Having to play human isn't as much fun as you'd think. I may not know what Sal went through, but she is strong enough to survive this. I swear, little ghost, that I'm not making light of what you both suffered. I will never let anyone chain you again. Not while I'm still alive."

  Audgan smiled weakly. "Why didn't you drop me for attacking you?"

  "Why can't you look at my eyes?" Kolt countered.

  "Think you figured that out already."

  Kolt nodded, squeezing his shoulder. "Ghost, why didn't you make me fear you enough to submit?"

  Audgan shrugged. "Doesn't work like that. Sure, I could make you, but then what? I don't have to lead to know who I am."

  Kolt opened his mouth to respond but closed it when he thought about the words. That was the problem. Kolt had no idea who he really was. "You're lucky."

  "Yeah." Audgan patted his shoulder. "Why'd you let Sal take the bolt?"

  "Didn't see it. No link. No way to watch behind me."

  The kid nodded. "Yeah, makes sense. Just wondering if you knew that it's our job to die for her. Not the other way around."

  "Yeah," Kolt assured him. "I kinda do. I feel that pull as much as Blaec did. That's why I covered for her and Jase when they were in maast. That's why I refused to admit I saw Blaec kiss her. It was all I could do, but I couldn't stop myself from doing at least that."

  "Sucks doesn't it? Seeing them with her?"

  "No," Kolt said wistfully. "No, it doesn't, Ghost. It's kinda nice. The first time I saw Jase with Sal, then Blaec kissed her, I knew you all weren't hiding it anymore."

  "Didn't wish it was you doing the kissing?"

  Kolt laughed. "Well, yeah. Find me another white-skinned woman with teeth like that and I might feel different, but shit."

  "Just stay away from Shade." Audgan looked up, his eyes finally hitting Kolt's. "I mean it. She's one of us, but she's not for you."

  "You sure?"

  For a moment the boy said nothing, his eyes judging Kolt, then he nodded. "Yeah. I'm pretty damned sure."

  "Then I'll stay away from your girl," Kolt assured him.

  "Arctic's girl," Audgan corrected.

  "Right." Kolt tilted his head to the flap. "I'm supposed to be helping Zep."

  "I know." Audgan chuckled and turned for the door. "Why do you think I was here. You're starting at the bottom."

  "Fuck," Kolt muttered, following him out. "Sal, her mates, the pack leader, and now I'm working from the bottom up?"

  "Yep. Least I didn't jump you."

  "No shit." Kolt winced against the light of the setting sun. "So how'm I doing so far?"

  Audgan chuckled. "They never told us in the trials, but I'll just say that you get to keep going until someone says no."

  "So." Kolt chuckled. "Am I still going?"

  "Yeah." Audgan paused and looked into the darker man's face. "You need to settle shit with Zep before he'll make a decision, but you're still going."

  "Thanks, Ghost. Both for the head's up and the words of wisdom. Won't be easy to learn how to look down."

  "It gets better." Audgan gestured toward the picket line. "Good luck, brother. I think you're here for the right reasons, but that mark on your neck is going to cause some problems for you."

  "Least it didn't cause problems for her," Kolt said softly, turning back to face his next challenge.

  It was going to be a long night, he thought, seeing a pale man standing beside Zep. Risk's gold hair marked him even from a distance. When the second most submissive member of the pack was a man who could kill most of the soldiers Kolt had ever known, it wasn't a comfortable feeling. As he got closer, the healer lifted his head, his amber eyes meeting Kolt's even across the distance. Kolt needed to learn how to start acting like an iliri, and he needed to do it fast.

  "Care to spar?" Risk asked.

  Kolt groaned. Every muscle in his body ached from the long ride and sleepless days. "Sure," he said, knowing he didn't really have a choice. "Anyway I can convince you to use practice weapons? I'm tired enough to make a mistake and hurt someone besides myself."

  Risk reached down to his feet and lifted a wooden broadsword. He paused then tossed it across the distance. "There's a good chance," he said, turning toward a small clearing.

  "Where's the necklace?" Zep asked when Kolt walked past.

  "Left it in the tent," Kolt said. "Figured it belonged with the books on the history of the unit since I won't need it anymore."

  "Ballsy."

  Kolt paused and looked at the big man. "Been smelling hope for a week, and I've started to believe that for once, a man like me can have some."

  Zep nodded slowly. "Just so long as it's got nothing to do with a girl."

  "A boy, actually," Kolt said. "He'll be seven in a few months. Got his amma's fair skin but my dark hair and teeth sharp enough to cut leather. That's my motivation, Zep. My boy. He deserves to have more than I did. I want him to be free one day."

  "Where is he?"

  Kolt smiled sadly. "Arhhawen. My wife's amma took him that way. Soon as the offer was there, I asked her to. Last I heard, he's fascinated by the grauori and he wants to grow up to be a Black Blade. He's convinced that all of you are heroes." Kolt shrugged. "You kinda are."

  Zep patted his horse's shoulder, staring at her neck. "Hard to remember that," he said.

  Kolt reached into his pocket, pulling out a crumpled, water stained scrap of paper. "You read Iliran yet?"

  "Fluently," Zep assured him.

  The paper hung between them, held in Kolt's fingers. "He's just a boy. He hears things around him and doesn't really understand what all it means, but read that. I think you probably need to see it."

  Zep took the paper and Kolt left, following after Risk. The note was fragile, having been folded and unfolded too many times, the soaking making it nearly transparent.

  Being as careful as he could, Zep opened it. Bright colors hit his eyes, the swirls of words rough, scrawled by a child's hand. Crude drawings filled the empty space between thoughts and Zep looked at those first, unable to make out most of
them. Then he read the words.

  Dava, I miss you! Kauvwe said that you're doing important work, though, and you might even help the Black Blades. Have you seen them again? I like it here. The Grauori are fun and it's nice to have friends to play with. We don't have to hide our games, and I'm almost as good at catching prey as they are. I also got to see the castle. There's a big room for the Kaisae and her mates, not like the rooms humans have.

  One of the iliri soldiers said that he got to meet Salryc Luxx. Zep smiled at how the child wrote her name. It was drawn in blue, with extra flares around the symbol. She's not much bigger than me and just as mean, and one of her mates used to be human. Do you think that means she can make me all iliri too?

  But there are other boys here like me. One has dark skin like you do, dava, but they don't seem to care. We play Black Blades all the time and fight the Terrans. Last week I had to be a Terran, though. They said it was my turn, even though I told them I was going to be a real Black Blade one day. Said it didn't matter, we all have to share.

  Can't wait to see you again, dava. Maybe you can even come here. I don't think the Black Blades will care. They're fighting for all of us, even people like us. Maybe they'll forgive you for failing and then we can be real iliri. You can meet my friends, then we can have a pack of our own. I miss you dava. I miss amma, too.

  Lasryn.

  The words of a child, Zep thought, folding the letter. His eyes lingered on the word "failing." There were secrets hanging around Kolt, and Zep wanted to know more before he'd give the man a pass into his pack. No matter what Sal wanted, Zep would rather piss her off than see some brerror hurt her. The man was hiding too much to be trusted. Then again, keeping him close might be safer.

  Chapter 44

  When Kolt walked up, Risk looked at the marks on his neck. One eyebrow lifted and the healer smiled as he asked, "Lannar or rornnar?"

  Kolt shrugged. "Maast."

  "You don't get maast," Risk teased. "That means it isn't an excuse for you."

  "Fuck off," Kolt growled. "Thought we were sparring, not talking about our escape from Terric."

  Risk pulled a pair of wooden sabers and found the guard position. He glanced pointedly at the practice sword held limply in Kolt's hand. "Ready when you are."

  "I figure I'm about to get my ass handed to me," Kolt muttered.

  Risk shrugged. "I'm the weakest fighter in the Blades. They just keep me around to put you all back together."

  Kolt smiled at Risk's choice of words. "You all? That mean you haven't ruled me out yet?"

  "You brought Sal back, so I'll heal you. Didn't say I'd call you my brother."

  Kolt shifted the weapon to the ready position and found his balance. "Heard I should avoid your healing unless I'm dying. Ready when you are, sir."

  Risk touched the end of his sword to Kolt's. "Lay on," he muttered.

  Kolt swiped at his legs, hoping to make a quick end to the fight, but Risk easily hopped over the weapon, cracking Kolt's fingers. He snarled and shook off the pain, wielding the sword one-handed, and reminded himself to move his feet. Their blades whirled, but for every attempt at an attack, the lithe man was ready with a block or bending away from the strike. Nothing Kolt could do would get inside his defense. Desperate to prove himself to these men, he added muscle to each hit, slowly powering through Risk's guard.

  Just when it looked like he'd win, the healer dropped his off hand weapon and grabbed the hilt of Kolt's broadsword, wrenching it away and darting inside, his sword aimed for the throat. Kolt blocked with an elbow to the man's jaw, but Risk flowed with it, so close their weapons were useless. Instinctively Kolt grabbed for Risk's arm, holding the blade away, and swiped at his feet, but the move pulled both of them into the dirt.

  Risk seemed to move like he was made of liquid, flowing as he fell, twisting until his teeth were against Kolt's neck. Kolt shoved, rolling above the smaller man, then yanked his skin free, feeling the flesh tear as he sank his own head in for the hold. Risk paused, releasing Kolt's shoulders.

  "Umso." Risk submitted.

  When Kolt leaned back, the pale man dropped his eyes and smiled. "You smell amazing, but I'll submit. Not many would pull my teeth from their skin."

  Kolt chuckled. "Guess I have you right where you want to be?"

  "Didn't know you were my type." Risk dared to look up at him, but Kolt shook his head.

  "Sorry, I'm not." Kolt shifted from the man's body and sat beside him. "I'm trying, but I won't play the omega just to please the Blades."

  "We wouldn't take you if you did," Risk admitted. "Rornnar or lannar?" he asked again, wondering if Kolt had merely enjoyed Sal's body, or if he was emotionally attached to her.

  Kolt shook his head. "I'll tell her before I'll tell her brothers. She was in maast, spiraling out of control, and we didn't have the option for her to feed."

  "She can hold out a long time," Risk said, gesturing for Kolt to take a breather while he could.

  He groaned and lay back, nodding appreciatively. "She held out most of the day, but keep in mind what she'd been through, and she was riding behind a human while we had a few Terrans on our tail. The 112th were the only people around. I think she held out longer than anyone should expect."

  Risk nodded. "I'll just keep that between us. Your actions say more than your words."

  "I owe her," Kolt told him. "She saved my life in Echo Gap."

  "You also control your scent well. Most men exude something at the thought of being with her, but you don't."

  Kolt looked over and grinned. "She gave me a crash course. I've been hiding in plain sight for a long time, Risk. I learn fast."

  Risk patted Kolton's thigh. "I think you'll do."

  "Thanks."

  "You just need to learn to trust your brothers."

  "Never had any." Kolt reminded him. "Not sure how long it'll take for me to get them, either, but I'm making an effort, man."

  "Stop taunting Zep, and it'll be easier." Risk shifted his hand to Kolt's shoulder. "Or just get it over with. That bite mark isn't exactly hiding."

  Kolt groaned and dropped his head back against the grass. "I know."

  "Yeah. I bet you aren't that upset that everyone knows, either. I'm always pretty proud of the ones Tilso leaves on me."

  "But he's human?"

  Risk chuckled. "You don't live with iliri for that long and stay the same. He'll submit to you, but if you try anything, I will challenge you for him."

  "Nah, man. I'm not about to fuck with your mate. Heard he's a good guy. Sal calls him her little brother." They both heard the sound of feet and Risk sat up, but Kolt just closed his eyes and groaned, knowing more punishment was coming.

  Risk went on, "He's pretty proud to be the Kaisae's brother. I won't mind calling you mine, Kolt. You're not as human as I thought."

  "Get up."

  Kolt opened his eyes to see a pair of black boots.

  "You aren't done yet." The voice wasn't Zep's.

  "Fuck," Kolt muttered, looking up to see white eyes looking back at him. "Arctic."

  He nodded. "Heard you don't know when to back down. This is my pack. Get your ass up."

  "Sal's pack," Kolt said as he climbed to his feet.

  "Mine," Arctic growled, leaning against a staff. "Use that thing this time, pup."

  Risk chuckled. "You're so fucked." He kept laughing as he walked away.

  The weapon was no more than in his hand before Arctic attacked. He hit Kolt in the back of the legs, but the big guy rolled, able to block before the next hit came. Arctic came at him fast and hard, but he never growled or snarled. His face was as serene as always but his eyes burned with a cold fury.

  Kolt tried to push but each time he swung harder, Arctic simply blocked stronger, absorbing his power easily. The wood clashed, and Kolt knew he was losing, but his pride pushed him on, refusing to let him surrender until he was truly defeated. The staff hit his legs again, making him stagger, and Arctic followed with a jab to the chest, leaving his b
ody open. Kolt rushed in for the kill but saw the Raewar smile at the last moment.

  Arctic's offhand grabbed his throat. Hard. He closed his fingers across Kolt's windpipe and stepped into him, slowly making the larger man stumble back gasping for air.

  "Submit," Arctic whispered, his voice like ice. "I will kill you."

  Kolt snarled and tried to shove into the grip, swinging the sword against Arctic's unprotected ribs, but he couldn't even make the man blink. Instead, Arctic's smile only spread, those white eyes holding Kolt's with a power he'd never felt.

  Umso, Kolt thought as his eyes fell, unable to get the word out. No matter how hard he tried, he could not meet his opponent's gaze again. He felt as if his body fought him with each attempt. Umso! he screamed in his mind.

  Arctic released him and stepped back. "Say it again."

  "Umso," Kolt gasped, dropping to his knees, sucking back deep breaths. "Umso, Raewar. You win."

  "Remember that. How we are perceived on the outside says nothing about the strength any of us have. Growling and snapping does not make you stronger."

  Kolt nodded, massaging his neck. "It's nice to not have to hold it back, though."

  "I understand." Arctic squatted before him. "Why the hell do you want to be a Black Blade?" Kolt tried to look up, but his eyes wouldn't leave the ground. He snarled and shook his head, making Arctic laugh. "Not used to it, are ya?" the Raewar asked.

  "No, sir, and twice in one day is bruising my ego pretty hard."

  "It's Arctic, not sir." He patted Kolt's shoulder. "We owe you for getting her home."

  "I owed her. It was my own debt I was paying."

  "You're full of shit. Taking a bolt for you didn't nearly pay back the debt she owed, and you knew it when it happened."

  Kolt looked up, surprise flashing across his face before he was able to control it. He shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

  Arctic smiled. "Rais tracked down the only man to escort a caravan from Merriton to Fort Landing that year. Imagine my surprise to hear he's listed as a human in every other record. I was even more shocked to recognize the name."

  Kolt clenched his jaw against the words he wanted to say. "It was an easy way to make money."