by Auryn Hadley
He never saw Arctic move, but he heard the snarl just before his back slammed into the dirt, Arctic's arm across his throat. "She is not - and never will be - easy money."
"The damned caravan!" Kolt said, looking at the group of Black Blades standing just outside hearing range.
"That's not how you were paid, and we both know it."
"Keep your nose out of stories that aren't yours," Kolt growled, forcing his eyes back to Arctic's. "I will challenge you on this, even if I die because of it."
The leader of the Black Blades sat back and smiled, releasing him. "Good. I'm the only one she's told. Her cessivi probably know, but she's never felt safe enough to talk about it. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't think it's a prize to brag about."
Kolt dropped his gaze and shook his head. "I fucked up, and that's nothing to brag about, sir. I should have trusted my senses and told Blaec, or even you. She existed, and I was the only one who knew, but no one believed me." He took a long breath, grabbing his head in his hands. "I left her there because I didn't know what else to do. I will not leave her again."
"Then sort it out with Zep. I'll put you at her back."
Kolt shook his head. "That spot is claimed. I'm just a soldier, and one with a lot to learn. I'm not too proud to admit that."
"Good, because it's a lot harder if you think you already know it."
Kolt tried to look at Arctic again, but couldn't meet his eyes. His body knew he'd lost even if his will refused to acknowledge it. The Black Blades had embraced their heritage, and Kolt couldn't help but wonder if they knew how different they were from any other pack in the world.
"The Blades make it clear that no one knows it. I've seen you all fight, and it's like nothing I've seen before. There've been a couple of times in my life that I witnessed iliri in combat. I've seen two Kaisaes fight now, and their packs. I still didn't expect what I saw in Echo Gap. Sal and Jase jumped off a cliff and hurled themselves into battle. You all picked them off from the edges, standing like sentries before a throne." Kolt shook his head. "I was linked with Sal when we cleaned up a partial unit of Terrans, and I still can't quite comprehend what happened." He looked up at his leader's pale eyes for only a moment. "Arctic, I don't know shit, and when I'm around you all, it's pretty fucking obvious."
"It comes, brother." Arctic smiled at the reaction his words had on Kolton. "It comes quickly when you don't fight your instincts. Do not try to be Sal."
"No," Kolt agreed. "That other Kaisae was impressive, but she wasn't Sal. No one can be her."
"Tell me?"
Kolt nodded and tried to find the words. "She was a leader. A general, I guess. She sat her stallion on a rise where the males could see her and thought orders at them. A few times, she called them out, each time pulling at me even though I stood with Conglomerate humans. When the Terrans reached her, she waded into combat like she was made for it, and her men tried to keep her safe. They failed, and she died. It was the first time I saw a link break."
Arctic nodded. "It's supposed to be even worse when it's our Kaisae that we lose."
Kolt waved that away. "The thing is, she was brutal with a sword. She cut down plenty of men, but she was nothing like Sal." He looked over at Zep, saw the human watching, and nodded to him. "Sal doesn't fight like anything I've seen. She lives the battle and becomes the center of it. Her actions change everything. I don't care if it's dodging a blow or cutting down the leader of the opposition, if Sal is involved, it's always the crucial event in the fight."
Arctic chuckled. "Not always, but I know what you mean."
"Yeah," Kolt rubbed at his face. "Arctic, Sal's not like the Kaisaes that came before. She's better. She's..."
"More," Zep said, walking up. "Sal makes everything more. It's the vis."
Kolt sucked in a breath and looked at the men before him. "Seriously?"
Zep gestured around them. "All of this happened because she simply exists. What would you call it?"
"Luck?"
"No," Zep said gently. "Tseri left Viraenova because Sal came to Anglia. Dominik found peace with the Grauori because Sal introduced them. Star Fall worked to save her because she took a chance on a man that was too stupid to dodge. Everything happens because of her charm, or charisma, or whatever."
"Her vis," Kolt said, nodding to show that he understood. "Haven't heard that term used in a long time."
"Blaec had it, too." Zep refused to show the pain Kolt knew he felt. "Together, they were unstoppable."
"I am sorry, Zep. He was a great man."
"He was my brother. Never forget that. You are not him." Zep clenched his jaw and stared into Kolt's eyes.
"You're right," Kolt said, turning his head. "She loved him so much. I thought losing him would kill her. I only did what I had to, to keep her with us. I can't even imagine what it would be like."
Zep sighed and glanced at the sky, his face torn between the love he had for Sal and the pain of losing his oldest friend. "It's indescribable. She loves completely, without exception. She's loyal. She's so fucking loyal it hurts. Kolton, do not play with things you do not understand."
"I'm not playing, Zep," Kolt said softly. "My life was hers long before anyone else knew she existed. I will protect her, and I won't fucking fail again. I don't care how much you all beat down my pride, I will not give up on this." He pulled himself to his feet and turned to Arctic. "If you refuse to make me a Blade, I still won't leave. I'm sorry, but can't."
"She's not yours," Zep said.
"Are you sure?" Arctic asked.
Zep glared at his friend. "Can you smell it on him?"
"Can't smell shit on him. He keeps it too fucking close."
Zep nodded and glared at Kolt again. "Pretty sure Sal has enough men around to make you useless."
"I'm going to watch her back and you can't fucking stop me." Kolt smiled, refusing to acknowledge that Zep had just hit him right where it hurt. He wasn't useless. He was the bastard who'd gotten her home.
Arctic stepped between them, stopping their posturing before it got out of hand with a change of subject. "What's your skill?" he asked Kolt, steering them to safer ground.
"Fetching."
Arctic chuckled. "I think we can use that. How far can you reach?"
Kolt smiled proudly. "If I can link to someone that can sense it, I can reach it."
"Anglia?" Arctic asked.
"Can you get me a mind there?" Kolt dared to look at his eyes.
Arctic nodded. "Yeah. We have a few million. You're linked directly to Sal, aren't ya."
"She touched me and I felt my mind clear. I've never been linked before, so can't tell you more than that. We didn't have a lot of you running around openly. Only links I've experienced were with lovers."
"How heavy can you pull?" Arctic asked before Zep could take offense.
"I've never tested it." Kolt shifted, every muscle in his body screaming in agony from the abuse he'd heaped on it. "You should probably know that Sal can use me to extend her reach."
"What do you mean?"
"I can touch things I can't reach. She needs to touch to use most of her skills. She links with me, she won't need to touch anything."
"Fuck," Arctic breathed, grabbing the side of Kolt's head. His eyes unfocused as he concentrated. For a long moment, he stared at nothing before releasing Kolton's jaw to yank at his collar. "Anyone tell you the downside of being a Kaisae's toy?"
"No." Kolt didn't even try to refute Arctic's claim.
"She'll change you. She's already started. She'll make your mind stronger, but you'll pay for it in pain." He tapped Kolt's forehead. "Her little tricks are opening your pathways. She can add more skills in there if she wants too, but trust me, it's not worth it."
"Never really wanted more," Kolt said.
Arctic nodded, his expression softening. "You should also know that none of the strong Kaisaes have lived to old age. They appear when we need them, and they fight hard, but they always die in the end. Every one i
n history. Cyno's still looking for an exception."
"It'll be Sal," Kolt said adamantly. "I think she can feel ayati now."
"What do you mean?" Zep demanded.
Kolt refused to look at Zep, speaking to Arctic, instead. "She spoke to the moons as if they were able to hear. In Iliran. She told ayati that she would stop fighting if it took anyone else." Finally, he looked up at Zep. "She meant it. She said she would not be the toy of fate and she would not fight if she'd lose anyone else that she loved."
"I'm not sure ayati listens," Arctic said sadly. "It's not a who but a what, like gravity."
Kolt shrugged. "And this is Sal we're talking about. Either she's losing her mind, or she's getting strong enough to change destiny. Narnx flipped to her side that night. He refused to leave Terric not because he wanted to stay but because he's the Emperor's bastard son. It helps us too much."
"But he's..." Arctic looked at Zep.
"Iliri," Zep said. "Yeah. She told us."
"And now the Emperor is as mute as a human," Kolt nearly purred. "She made him everything he wanted to be."
"She's not your mate," Zep warned, hearing his tone.
"She's my friend," Kolt said, standing a little straighter. "Whether you like it or not, Sal is my friend and nothing you can do will change that."
Arctic gestured to Kolt, his eyes on Zep. "Sort that out. She's using his mind, so he's useful. Let me know when it's settled."
"Seriously?" Kolt asked as Arctic just walked away.
Zep just yanked Kolt's collar open, his eyes on the bite marks. "You try to pretend like that's nothing, but you know better."
Kolt reached over and pulled at Zep's shirt, exposing the line of pale scars on his dark skin. "I am still smart enough to count."
"She is not yours," Zep growled, stepping into Kolt's face. "She will not be yours."
"A kaisae is never possessed," Kolt said, but Zep just laughed.
"Oh, Sal is. She's Jase's and we all know it. Even her."
"It's still her choice." Kolt shrugged it away, trying to feign nonchalance.
"And ours," Zep hissed. "Every time she touches someone, I know it. Every time she laughs, I feel it. Every time she hurts, I do too. I may be less iliri than you, but I'm still cessivi."
Kolt's lip raised, exposing his sharp canines. "Do not threaten me. I will do nothing to Sal."
"You already did."
"And she liked it," Kolt replied, leaning forward slightly. "She wanted it."
"It was maast," Zep snapped. "Of course she wanted it."
Kolt nodded. "I know. She made me so damned hard I didn't have a choice. Fucking beat my ass. It won't change it, and I won't submit to you."
Zep leaned forward, but Kolt shoved him back. Both men tensed up, their eyes locked together, neither of them willing to let the other claim dominance. Just as Kolt was ready to throw the first hit, the sound of laughter made both men turn. Sal walked beside Jase, amused at something he'd said. The couple's eyes were on the dark-skinned men standing face to face.
"You're cute," she teased them both. "The human who became iliri, and the iliri who was human. But go ahead. Get it over with, because I've missed my mates too much to wait around for long."
"They can na help it," Jase told her. "Zep feels the pull to win as strong as the rest of us, now, and the brerror does na understand that submitting is na a sign of weakness. No one taught him any other way."
"No one taught me either," Sal said. "I just realized that sometimes it's nice to have a person you can lean on." She looked at Zep sweetly and smiled. "Did I interrupt?"
He smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Yeah, demon, and you know damned well you did. Get everything sorted out with the iliri and nuvani?"
She nodded and glanced at Kolt with a smile before pressing close to Zep's side. "Yeah. Seeing how the nuvani treat me kinda cleared everything up. The iliri worried that Tseri wanted to dispose of a threat to her rule. Now they understand that the nuvani respect the iliri will to continue on, and should want to help rather than hinder."
"Strange that they accepted the grauori easily, but fear the nuvani," Kolt said.
Sal shook her head. "The grauori will never be us, but the nuvani could be. Hell, the nuvani are what we became when we restricted humans from our lives. It's desirable, and there's jealousy - on both sides. The nuvani long for the spirit the iliri have, while the iliri long for the society the nuvani made."
"In a few generations there probably won't be a separation between us," Zep said.
Kolt watched Sal with her mates, a content smile on his face even as he met her eyes easily. "Go spend some time with them, babe. They make you happy. I'll still be around for them to beat on in the morning."
She nodded, well aware that while he wasn't challenging her, Kolt still refused to submit. "We'll get you a tent and some supplies. You're probably dying for a chance to get off your feet as much as I am."
Kolt couldn't help but laugh. "Yep. Pretty sure my evening isn't going to be as eventful, though. Don't eat the sweet one, Sal." He grinned and patted her shoulder, then simply turned and walked back toward the Black Blade's camp, hearing Zep behind him.
"You let him get away with that?" Zep asked.
"Yeah," Sal said softly. "I always do, because he tends to be right."
Chapter 45
Kolt watched them leave, tossing a twig into the fire. He wondered if Sal knew what he was going through. Or if she even cared. She'd set him up to establish his own place, then left him to it. He preferred it that way, but a small part of him wanted her to feel protective. He knew it was foolish, but let himself think about how nice it would be to have a woman that stood up for him.
He was smiling wistfully at the fire when the next Black Blade showed up. He looked over his shoulder to see Shift carrying a crate of supplies, a stack of blankets heaped above it. The whole thing looked like it was about to topple from his arms.
"Need a hand?" Kolt asked.
"You do," Shift teased. "Blankets or crate. Grab one, and I'll show you to your tent."
Kolt pulled himself from the dirt, dusting his hands on his pants before grabbing the crate. "Lead on, sir."
"Nope, not a sir. Makes me feel too human when people call me that and I'm close enough as it is."
"Not by a long shot," Kolt muttered.
Shift snagged the blankets and tilted his head toward the mass of black tents, then waited for Kolt to fall in beside him before talking. "Yeah, so I'm the most human of our group. Being a healer was a pretty good pass into the Blades back then, and I was dumb enough to not back down, so made it through the trials. Been with the unit for eight years."
"You were there when I applied."
Shift nodded. "Yep. I also voted against keeping you, because you played it too close. Nothing iliri about you."
Kolt sighed, remembering how hard he'd worked to ignore his instincts back then. "Yeah. I guess I wanted it too much and was scared to believe my senses. Figured there was no way a unit could be iliri, not right under the humans' noses."
"But we were."
"Yeah and I should have trusted my people a bit more. In so many ways."
Shift grinned. "Pretty much. So why are you here now?"
Kolt groaned. That question again. "Because she couldn't make it across the country alone."
"She could have." Shift dared him to deny it.
Kolt did. "Not then. If it was a mission, sure. But not hurting as bad as she was. I thought she was ready to lay down and give up." He shrugged. "Figure since I don't belong anywhere else, I might as well stand up for something that matters, right?"
Shift cocked his head in confusion. "What do you mean, ‘don't belong anywhere'? You had a wife, a unit, and know a lot more Iliran than I did even a year ago."
Kolt chuckled. "And the iliri don't trust me because of my skin. The humans didn't trust me because of my teeth. The military didn't trust me because of the species on file. My neighbors didn't trust me because of my jo
b. Basically, I lived alone, surrounded by everyone. It's called brerror, Sal said."
"Shunned," Shift translated. "But you want to be a Black Blade. What makes you think you deserve it?" He paused in front of a tent, pushing open the flap.
"I don't." Kolt stepped inside.
Shift followed, gesturing to the barren space. "This is yours for as long as you decide to use it. Or until Sal kicks you out. Now, if you don't deserve to be a Blade, why should we let you in?"
Kolt set the crate in the center of the room. The bed was still packed for moving, the prints on the ground showed that someone had only recently set it up, doing the least amount of work necessary. It didn't matter. He didn't expect someone else to do anything for him, but he was impressed with how casual they had made the whole thing appear.
"I can't tell you that, Shift." Kolt let his eyes close as he inhaled. "What I can tell you, is that I understand why Blaec died. I'd do the same."
"He should have lived," Shift said softly.
"Yeah," Kolt agreed. "But he believed that we need Sal more. He believed in her, and I do too. Enough to give my life so that my son won't have to know what it feels like to have no home."
Shift looked up at him slowly, the sadness clear on his face. "And Sal?"
"She gives me hope." Kolt shrugged. "I know. We had a long trip back, I was there, and you can smell it. I was just trying to make sure that the leader of the iliri returned to her family safe and sane. When she offered me a place, I almost refused."
"Why?"
Kolt groaned and reached for the bed, giving his hands something to do. "I failed out of the Blades. I don't have near the skills you all do. I could keep up with a few shitty ass humans, and that's about it."
The sound of ceramic on leather whispered in his ear, and Kolt spun, his lip raised. He grabbed Shift's upraised arm, the dagger clenched in his hand. Their eyes met, and Shift's slowly lowered.
"Not human," he said.
Kolt shook his head. "Haven't been. Just learned how to play the part when I had to. That's why they made me an assassin."
"Wrong job." Shift put the blade back in its sheath but still couldn't quite meet Kolt's eyes. "Being iliri does not make everyone an assassin. Just ask Razor."
