Tenacity (Rise of the Iliri Book 5)

by Auryn Hadley

  "Why not?" He pointed across the grass. "Half a day's ride that way, there's hundreds of iliri. They need someone to lead them. They need someone strong enough to show them how to be free, how to do more than drop their eyes."

  "I'll get them free."

  "Listen," he hissed. "Stop thinking you know what I'm going to say, and listen to me. Kaisaes die when they aren't needed. Not when the war is done, Sal, but when they aren't needed. These people need you. They don't have anyone else!"

  "If we fight it, we lose our minds."

  "Then fight harder." Blaz pressed his head to hers. "Damn it, Sal. Fight harder. Don't let the humans do this again. Don't let fate take everything from you. You're so much more than just a figurehead. You're..." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Sal, but you're why Blaec died. Not because you did it, but because he believed in you enough to give everything."

  "But I wanted him to live!"

  Blaz nodded. "So did we all. He was a damned good man, but he's still dead, and you're still alive. There's a reason for that. There's a damned reason that he," and Blaz pointed right at Kolt, "is here. The nuvani told me about Ayati. They also told me about you."

  "Talk to a lot of them?" she asked, trying to smile at him.

  He chuckled. "Yeah, one or two. Damned glad they don't bite as hard as you do." He tapped the end of her nose. "All I'm saying is that it's fine to mourn, but don't be like me, ok? Don't live in the past. Don't throw everything away because you can't figure out how to move forward. I've got a shoulder anytime you need it. You can lean on me as much as you want, and I won't tell a soul."

  His words hit her hard, like ice in her face. She sat up quickly, her ears flicking forward, and her eyes constricted to mere slits. A slow breath slipped between her sharp teeth. "What did you say?" Her hand grabbed the opal at her throat.

  "If you need someone to lean on…" he said, his brow wrinkling. "What is it, Sal?"

  "No one can let you down if you haven't been leaning on them." Her finger caressed the pendant. "Maybe it's time to start leaning. That's what I told Blaec when I left this necklace for him. He gave it back when he asked me to be his shoulder."

  "So?" Blaz asked, watching her face closely.

  She nodded and pulled herself to her feet. "I need to talk to Arctic."

  "Glad I helped," he mumbled, pushing himself up.

  "You did." She pressed her lips together, thinking. "How long did it take before it stopped hurting?"

  He reached up and pressed a hand to either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. "As long as it takes, Sal. There's one thing that helps - and only one thing that I've found. Let someone in. Stop building walls to make it hurt less. That just keeps the pain inside." He smiled at her tenderly and bent to kiss her forehead. "Talking helps. Kissing someone helps more. Don't stop doing it."

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. "Thank you. Would you do me a favor?"

  "Anything."

  She leaned back and looked up at his face. "Scorch. I want..." Her throat pinched shut cutting off the words.

  He nodded. "Yeah. I get it. I'll help Tilso fit tack so we can keep as much of Blaec's as we can. I'll make sure he understands." She nodded in appreciation, unable to say what she wanted, so Blaz turned her back toward the camp. "Go talk to Arctic. I'm only a thought away, Kaisae."

  She gasped and turned back to him. "You are!" Her hand pressed to his face. "I'm sorry. This is going to hurt, but you'll need it."

  She pushed. His eyes flashed open before squeezing tightly shut, and his hands grabbed at his skull. A strangled sound escaped his lips as Blaz crumpled to the ground. Sal followed him, never breaking her hold, whispering, "Shh, it will be over soon. It's ok, it doesn't last long."

  Then he screamed. She slapped her hand across his mouth, pressing harder with her mind until a thin trickle of blood began to seep from his nose. Only then did Sal release him.

  "Keep your eyes closed and breathe deeply. I need to fix the pain."

  Blaz nodded, not even trying to lift his lids. She took a deep breath and exhaled, able to help - but not totally erase - the wound she'd just created in his mind. Blaz sucked in long slow breaths, fighting against the nausea.

  "What did you do?" he asked.

  She gently caressed his brow. "I can't let any more friends die, Blaz. The 112th needs a healer."

  "What?"

  "Yeah. It's harder to put a skill in a human, but your mind can handle it. It'll take a few days before using it won't hurt, but it's there now." She moved her hand to his and helped him sit up. "It also hurts less if you aren't braced against me. That's why we never warn you."

  "Is that what it feels like when the link breaks?"

  "No." She sighed. "No, that's a paper cut compared to when the link breaks. Tell Risk what I did. He'll explain how it works." She kissed the top of his head. "I'm counting on you, Blaz."

  He chuckled. "Starting to wonder why I like you, Sal."

  Her pale eyes looked at him seriously. "The next time one of yours is wounded and too far from the healers, I think you'll figure it out. The 112th will never lose another the same way you lost Jiesa. You won't let them. I know it hurt, but I gave you a strong skill."

  His face became serious. "Thank you. I'm in your debt, Sal."

  "Not yet," she told him, glancing over her shoulder. "Now, I need to settle my pack." Sal looked back at him. "I need to be the leader Blaec trained me to be."

  "Yeah, you do." Blaz gestured for her to go, breathing deeply to quiet the ache in his mind. "Go find your Raewar."

  A new determination filled her. Blaz didn't realize it, but he'd said exactly what she needed to hear. She was not Blaec. She would not become Blaec. She'd learn from the mistakes he'd made, and be better for it. She loved him enough to treasure his memory without following in his footsteps. She wasn't afraid to lean on the people she loved. Whether that was one of her mates or simply a friend like Blaz. Sal knew that above all else, being alone had never helped her, but having people she could trust always had.

  She marched directly to Arctic's tent and scratched on the flap. "Come," he yelled.

  Sal slipped inside, pausing in shock to see Shade laying across his bed, her nose deep in a book. "You moved in?" she asked the girl.

  "Yeah. That's ok, right?"

  "Perfectly," Sal assured her. "Can I have Arctic for a minute?"

  Shade nodded. "Yeah. And I'm sorry I didn't help," she told Sal, giving her a quick hug. "I'm sorry it was him and not me."

  "No," Sal assured her. "No, Shade, don't think like that."

  Arctic looked at the girl with a gentle smile. "See, imp, I told you Sal wouldn't blame you."

  "Yeah," Shade said sadly, "but if she had to choose, I mean, if you all had to choose, I would rather it was me."

  "And we'd rather it was no one," Sal told her. "Shade, I would rather it was me. So would all of us. We lost him, and nothing can change that, but we can make the Emperor pay."

  "I'll help," the girl promised.

  Sal nodded. "I'm counting on it. I'm probably going to be asking a lot of you, soon, and I need you to be honest with me when I ask too much."

  "K." Shade grabbed her book and looked at Arctic. "I'm gonna go read by the fire, ok."

  "Yeah. And if you need me..."

  She grinned. "Then I'll call." Shade waved at him with her fingertips then ducked out of the tent.

  Sal turned to Arctic. "She lives here?" Her mouth was open in shock.

  He shrugged. "Yes, we share a tent. No, we do not share a bed. I sleep on the floor. She trusts me enough to touch me, and she enjoys my company." He smiled. "It's enough, Sal."

  "It's also a lot of progress."

  He grabbed a pair of chairs and a bottle, setting them beside an upturned crate. "She had some really good inspiration. You shut her down so she couldn't be hurt. Razor took a sword to the gut trying to hold them off. Rais and the 112th jumped in like they were iliri. She realized that night that not all men are
like the ones she knew."

  "Least some good came of it." Sal gestured for a glass. "Audgan said you're keeping the title of Raewar."

  He nodded. "He's asked to be called Ghost. Said Kolt gave him the name, and yes. I am."

  "Why?" she asked as Arctic poured the mead.

  "Arrnya, Rragri's eldest, has also adopted the term. The Raewar will lead the military. The Kaisae leads the people. Dom has his Sergeant at Arms, think of it as the same thing."

  She nodded. "Higher than general, but different from the ruler. Gotcha. So what about us?"

  He finished filling his own glass, put the cork back into the bottle, then looked at her, their eyes meeting. "I dunno, Sal. What about us?"

  There was a quiet power in his eyes, but no challenge. Where Blaec had demanded submission, Arctic had more confidence. He wasn't concerned about being second to her leadership, but he was also ready to take control. Sal smiled, blinking easily while the thoughts trickled through her mind.

  "You really think we can do this?" she asked.

  "Yeah." He looked to the table, grabbing his glass. "I think there's a reason you and I never happened. I think we've been through enough shit together that it doesn't matter which one of us takes charge. It's the goal, not the personal pride that we're both working for."

  She relaxed and took a long drink. "Equals?"

  "Sounds good to me. We do have very different jobs."

  "No shit." She chuckled and shook her head. "I play politics, you handle the military bullshit."

  "I'll drink to that." He lifted his glass.

  Sal tapped hers against it. "So what do I need to know?"

  He took a drink before answering. "Kolt got his last vote this morning. I'm assuming yours was a yes since you suggested it."

  "It is."

  He nodded. "And Zep relented, oddly enough. That means he can be inked in. Sal, I'm giving him Blaec's tent and saddle."

  "Zep gave him the sword."

  "Good," Arctic said. "We'll need to drill him hard, but I think he can handle it." He smiled. "He handled you, after all."

  "Yeah, not counting Merriton."

  "Thought he didn't..." Arctic tilted his head for her to explain.

  "He didn't accept what I offered. Thing is, I was trying to seduce him. With everything I had, Arctic, I was trying, and he still said no."

  "Gotcha. Pretty sure I couldn't do that." He pushed the bottle toward her. "I'm going to ask a tough question."

  "I'm not taking another mate," Sal said.

  He shook his head. "Not the question I was going to ask. Sal, how does having him around make you feel?"

  She opened her mouth to answer, but paused. Pulling her feet into the chair beneath her, she thought hard before finding the words. "Safe. Strong. Like I matter."

  "And? Sal, I remember how you spoke about him. Talk to me, demon."

  "I don't know," she finally admitted. "He's made it pretty clear that there's nothing between us like that. He wants to be a part of something. The need for a pack pulls at him as much as the rest of us, but he's lived his whole life caught between being human and being iliri."

  Arctic broke in gently. "Not him, Sal. You. I'm worried about you."

  Slowly she lifted her eyes from her glass, seeking the support of his gaze. "I can't think about that yet."

  "Ok." He rubbed her shoulder gently. "That's an acceptable answer. I just want you to know that I'm here when you need it, ok? The entire pack can smell you on him, and he's been taking some grief for it. You sticking up for him yesterday didn't really make it better."

  She nodded. "I just owe him so much."

  "I know. The problem is they don't know why. Geo's probably the worst. He's ready to roll the bastard."

  She giggled. "That might not end up the way Geo wants."

  "No shit," Arctic agreed. "He glared at me until I almost choked him out. Don't have to worry about him backing down from a fight, at least."

  "He will if it's the better option." She smiled, remembering their scuffle in Echo Gap. "He'll do whatever it takes to accomplish the goal. Even submit to me when playing a human."

  "But not now?" Arctic took a careful sip, waiting for her answer.

  "No. Not now."

  He nodded. "Then I'm putting him at your back, or wherever the hell Jase and Zep want him. He's on your guard duty."

  "What?" Her ears locked on him in shock. "My mates...."

  Arctic nodded slowly. "Yeah, and you can either have Zep cover your right, or Kolt, but Blaec can't do it anymore, demon. I'm sorry, but this is a military decision."

  "Zep's going to hate that." She hated that. She wasn't ready for someone else to stand in Blaec's place.

  "Then I'll tell him," Arctic said. "Sal, there's one more thing."

  She looked up, expecting the worst. He passed her a blue envelope, the seal broken. Her eyes closed briefly as she pulled out the letter, then she read it. Parliament was formally demanding the aid of Anglia. The wording was careful but insistent, claiming that they had met her demands, so Anglia was obligated to fulfill their end of the bargain.

  Slowly she folded the paper and slipped it back inside, passing it to Arctic. "I'm done playing nice."

  He smiled. "And?"

  She stood, turning to the door, a new determination filling her. "I'm ready, Arctic." She lifted her chin. "Assemble the units, include the 112th. We're headed to the Conglomerate of Free Citizens to get the rest of our people."

  "It's good to have you back, Sal," he said, grabbing something from the crate.

  A dark green circlet of resin, so dark that it was nearly black, dangled from his hand. She looked at the feeble crown for a long moment before accepting it. It was heavier than it looked. It meant more to the people who had given it to her than jewels or steel. It was a symbol of hope, freedom, and a new way of life for her entire species. It was the first crown any iliri had ever worn, and it had been made for her. For the first time, she understood why so many people suggested she wear it more. It was proof that Anglia had given her the respect her people deserved.

  Her fingers slid along the smooth surface. "I finally get it, Blaec," she whispered. "I forgive you because I understand, but it wasn't worth your life."

  "It is," Arctic said. "I loved my brother deeply, but he was right, Sal. Just think of what that means to the iliri in the Conglomerate."

  She lifted it to her hair, twisting the circlet until it was centered on her brow. "It means we have a home."

  "Yeah. That was always his dream, for the iliri to have a place where they could be proud of who and what we are. A place where our traditions and differences are respected, not feared. He thought we'd have to do it in hiding, but you changed that. You showed us that all of this really is possible. Never forget that."

  She nodded once then pushed through the flap, surprised to see the soldiers had already gathered. Cyno moved to her side, appearing from little more than a shadow, and gestured to one of the camp tables. "Your dais, Kaisae."

  Zep waited beside it, lifting her into place with a proud smile. From where she stood, Sal could see faces all looking at her hopefully. The 112th Mounted clustered together at the side, the blue of their uniforms stark against the shades of blacks and greens. She caught Blaz's eye and smiled before addressing the crowd.

  "We're going to Prin. The Conglomerate of Free Citizens demands that Anglia assists them in the fight against the Empire of Terric. They demand!" She paused to let that sink in. "But we're still going. We're going because we're better than them. We're going because we can do what the formerly ‘Most Powerful Nation in the World' can't. We're going to the Conglomerate for two reasons. One," and she held up a finger, "Because we will not let our people suffer the tyranny of oppression." She smiled cruelly and lifted the second finger. "And two, because we're going to fuck the Emperor up. We're going to make that bastard pay for what he's done. We're going to show him that no matter what he does to us, Anglia will not back down!"

  Rais lif
ted his head and called out, "For the Kaisor, Blaec Doll. We will make sure they remember."

  "Blaec Doll," the men said respectfully, many bowing their heads.

  Sal closed her eyes and nodded, letting her next words come out as if Blaec spoke them.

  "Anglia, we have a mission."

  The entire country was ready to accept it.

  Epilogue

  The black uniform blended well with the bare trees, but the purple accents made it easy to find the guard even before the man called out. Exhausted, the travel-worn soldier pulled his horse up and leaned wearily over the pommel, making no aggressive moves. He wanted to be found.

  "Name and rank!" the guard ordered.

  When the soldier walked close enough to hear his weary voice, the rider finally answered. "Marin Celik, Corporal, Black Widow Company."

  The guard shook his head. "Celik's reported as killed in action."

  "Right," Marin muttered. "Captain Vitus or Lieutenant Narnx will verify my identity."

  "You'll need to hand over your weapons to enter the camp." The man's hand hovered close to his own hilt. His face was not friendly.

  Marin slowly pulled the single ceramic dagger from his boot and passed it over. "That's it. Anglia got the rest of it. Snagged that before I got free. That and the horse. Been running from them since, but think I gave ‘em the slip through the pass."

  The guard nodded and gestured for him to dismount. "Leave the horse and come with me."

  They walked a straight line into the camp. For the first time, Marin realized how truly foolish that was. With what the Blades could do, their security measures were leaving the camp open to assault. Geo could make it all the way to the Emperor without a problem. Audgan could drop them all to the ground with the tightly packed tents. And the girl. He knew about the girl. If she could get close enough, the entire Terran army would die.

  That's what would happen if the Black Blades were human. Then again, if they were human, they wouldn't have the ability to do any of those things. Because they were iliri, they couldn't either, simply because too many innocent people would be killed. They were beasts, but they'd set him free to make his own decisions. That's why he had to do this.