Hush (Just This Once)

by Deborah Bladon

  He stops mid-step to look at me. “I want whatever you do, Chloe. Whatever makes you happiest.”

  I follow the nurse down the corridor with Evan next to me. “I’d like for its surname to be Scott. I want that for the baby.”

  A ghost of a smile slides over his mouth. “I’d like that.”

  We enter an exam room where Dr. Bergstein is already waiting. “I’ve got a full schedule and I’m actually on time for once. It’s good to see you both. Evan, it’s been awhile.”

  “Rita,” he says quietly. “It’s nice to see you looking so well.”

  “My nose is courtesy of your mother.” She turns to show us her profile. “She does the best work. It’s well worth the trip west.”

  He doesn’t respond. I make a mental note to ask him what that was about once we’re done.

  “I’m going to do our regular exam and then we’ll have a listen to the baby’s heart.”

  I look at her face before my gaze slides to Evan. He looks as surprised as I do. “We get to hear our baby’s heartbeat, Evan. I didn’t know that was going to happen today.”

  He nervously shifts from one foot to another, his hand stroking his chin. “It’s good. We’ll hear it together.”

  I nod as I toss him a compassionate look. I know what he’s feeling. He went through this once before and it turned out that baby wasn’t his. I don’t know if he’s opened the envelope that contains the paternity test results yet, but I’m hoping that after hearing our baby’s little heart beating, that he’ll feel as connected to our child as I do.

  “Hop up here, Chloe.” Dr. Bergstein pats the top of the exam table. “We’ll get started and we’ll see just how strong the new little Scott is.”

  ***

  “Tell me why you’re crying.” Evan cradles me in his arms. “I want to help, Chloe. I need to know why you’re crying.”

  The tears began as joy when we heart the whoosh and then the heartbeat of our beautiful baby. It was steady and strong and Dr. Bergstein said it was a good sign of things to come.

  We left her office and headed to Central Park. On our way there we passed a tourist bus and my tears morphed into something else.

  My mom used to take me for rides on the buses when my brothers were too busy to hang out with us. My mom would pretend to be from out-of-town and would question the tour guide on every landmark we passed.

  I lived for those moments when she’d make me laugh aloud.

  We followed every single one of those rides with a hot dog in Central Park.

  “I wish my mom could have been with us today.” I look at a group of children playing on the grass. “When I was trying to have a baby years ago, she’d tell me that her greatest wish was to be a grandma. She never got it, and now that I’m pregnant, it’s feels bittersweet.”

  He holds me close. “I wish she could have been here too. I would do anything in my power to change that day if I could.”

  It’s a sweet thing to say. I would do anything I could too but the doctors tried valiantly to save her life. “No one could have done a thing.”

  “I could have,” he insists. “I’m the best there is, Chloe.”

  I pull away so I can meet his eyes with mine. “I have no doubt that you’re a wonderful surgeon, Evan, but you don’t even know what was wrong with her.”

  He swallows hard. “Your mother died from an abdominal aortic aneurysm.”

  I stare at his lips. Did he really just say that? “I’ve never told you that.”

  His eyes close briefly before he locks them with mine. “I was there, Chloe. I was in the operating room. I was present when your mother died.”

  I’m on my feet in an instant, my hands pushing against the air around me trying to find room to breathe. “You weren’t there. It was another doctor. You aren’t him, Evan.”

  “Dr. Jordan Whitman made the notification to your family that night.” He searches my face. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I wanted to save her. If I would have had more time, I might have had a chance, but it was too late.”

  “Too late?” I step back when he reaches for me. “You had a chance to save her life? You were there?”

  “I was there,” he says softly.

  “You saw her die?” My voice cracks as my body shakes with a sob. “Did she suffer? Was she in pain?”

  “No.” He fists his hands at his sides. “It was quick. She wouldn’t have felt anything after she collapsed on the sidewalk.”

  I turn away from him to sort through my thoughts. How could he have been there? I would have seen him. I would have felt something, wouldn’t I? We didn’t know each other then, but the bond that connects us now is so strong.

  “There’s more.” I feel his hand on my shoulder. “I need to tell you something else.”

  I spin back around. “About my mom? Is it about my mom?”

  “No.” He hangs his head. “It’s about your ex-husband. I’m the reason he left you that night.”

  Chapter 46

  Evan

  I’m grateful that Chloe decided we needed to take my confessional to a more private place.

  She was shaking when we got in a cab near Central Park to go back to her apartment. I didn’t expect that the first time I’d see her home would be the day I was dragging her heart through the dirt, but life doesn’t always match up to my wants and needs and today is a prime example of that.

  She didn’t say one word on the ride here and I didn’t either because what the fuck can a man say when he’s just told the woman he loves that he was one of the doctors who attempted to save her mother’s life and failed.

  I step into the apartment after her. It’s mid-afternoon and light is filling the space. The walls are painted light blue, the furnishings are white, the accessories mostly pieces of art and above the fireplace mantle is a framed picture of her family.

  It had to have been taken years ago, since Chloe is wearing braces, but it perfectly captures the joy in the faces of all six people in the photograph.

  I stare at her mother’s face a moment longer than the rest. The regret of the day she died still haunting me.

  Chloe drops her purse on the coffee table before she turns to face me. “How do you know Chris?”

  “I don’t.” I shove my hands into the front pockets of my pants to resist the urge to hold her. “I met him the night your mother died. I went to the hospital chapel and he was there.”

  “So that’s where he was?” She scoffs. “I looked everywhere for him after we got the news. I couldn’t find him. I needed him and he was nowhere to be found.”

  I hate the bastard for not being next to her when Jordan delivered the news about her mother. I wish to fuck I would have been there for her. We were strangers then, but I would have felt compelled to take her in my arms. I know it. I feel it. The draw to be with her was strong from the first moment I saw her outside the hotel.

  “I was reeling from the loss of your mother so I went to the chapel,” I confess. “I always go there when a patient dies. I need the solace to collect my thoughts.”

  “We should sit.” She moves toward a sofa and I follow. Once she’s seated, I lower into the spot next to her. I want to wrap my arms around her but she’s made no move to touch me. I’m trying to respect her needs even though I want nothing but to forget I ever talked to Christopher Newell that night.

  My chest expands as I go on even though I feel like there’s not enough air in my lungs. “Chris started talking about life and death and I listened. I needed to hear someone else’s pain to help soothe my own.”

  I glance at her face and the look on it almost breaks my heart. I wait a beat for her to say anything but she’s silent.

  I clear my throat, desperate for a drink of anything to chase away what I’m feeling. “He talked about his marriage and how there was something missing. He said he needed more and his wife couldn’t give it to him.”

  “So you told him to leave me?” Her voice is quiet. “Did you tell him that’s what he should do?”
<
br />   I can’t bear that I’m the guy who made the worst day of her life that much harder. The end of her marriage to Chris was inevitable. He didn’t want to be with her anymore and my words may have spurred him to cut all ties that night but even if I hadn’t crossed his path, I have every belief that Chloe and I would be together now. Their marriage was inching toward its death.

  “I told him that life is short and if he wasn’t getting what he needed that he should move on.” I exhale roughly. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I’m sorry that I pushed him to leave you that night but I’m damn sure not sorry that he did.”

  “He left the hospital before I did.” Her hands knead together in her lap. “By the time I made it back to the apartment, most of my things were boxed up and sitting in the foyer.”

  “What a fucking bastard. I didn’t know that he’d take my advice and end things that night. It’s a heartless move to dump someone the night their mother dies.”

  “I was in shock.” She slides closer to me. “I took what I needed and went to be with my dad. He needed me that night and even though I loved Chris at the time, I was too numb to care that he had thrown me out.”

  Her words bite through me. I don’t want to know that she loved him at one time, although it’s obvious given the fact that they were together for ten years.

  “After my mom’s funeral, I arranged to have all of my things brought to my dad’s place and then eventually I started building a life of my own.” Her voice quivers. “It hasn’t been easy but I’ve done it without a cent from Chris. I used my inheritance to start my own firm and I put a down payment on this place with the rest of the money my mom left me.”

  “You’re a strong person.” I turn to look into her face. “You went through hell that night and you came out the other side in one piece.”

  “I did it because I had to.” Our eyes meet and she smiles. “I knew that there was happiness waiting for me at some point. I just kept trying to find it.”

  “Tell me that you don’t hate me, Chloe.” I move a piece of hair from her cheek. “Tell me that I didn’t fuck up everything before we even met.”

  She reaches to grab my hand so she can press it against her cheek. “You tried to save my mom’s life and you saved me from a marriage that wasn’t right for me. How could I hate you?”

  Relief washes over me like a wave. I feel the tension in my shoulders instantly release. “I haven’t slept since I realized I changed your life that night.”

  Her arms move to circle my neck as she gazes into my eyes. “If my marriage wouldn’t have ended, we wouldn’t be having a baby.”

  “And I wouldn’t be crazy in love with you.”

  Her eyes drop to my mouth. “Did you just say you love me, Evan?”

  I kiss her softy, dipping my tongue between her soft pink lips for a taste. “I love you, Chloe.”

  “I love you, too,” she whispers back before she kisses me back with a tenderness that tells me the three of us are going to be just fine.

  Chapter 47

  Chloe

  I breath him in, relishing in the fact that the man that I love is in my bed, in the middle of the day making me feel like the world doesn’t exist beyond these walls.

  I reach up and brush the pad of my thumb over his bottom lip. It’s swollen from when we kissed in the living room. It was slow and gentle before his hands found the buttons of my dress and everything changed into a desire so consuming that we were clawing at each other’s clothing, each desperate to get the other one naked.

  He carried me into my bedroom with my legs wrapped around his waist while I rained kisses over his neck.

  He wanted to taste me but the need to feel him inside of me was too much, so I pulled him on top and told him to take me.

  He did with powerful strokes that drove me into an intense orgasm almost immediately. Now, we’re together with me on my back and him hovering over me while he juts his cock into me in long, easy thrusts.

  “Will you always fuck me like this?” I ask breathlessly, knowing that I’ll come again if he changes the pace at all.

  “Always.”

  My hands move over his thighs and he growls his approval. “I love touching you, Evan. You’re only the second man…”

  “Shhh.” His lips cover mine to steal the word as his body stalls. “All that matters is that I’m the first man who has loved you like this. I’m the only man who will treasure you forever and no other man will ever fuck you again.”

  Tears sting the corners of my eyes as he leans back so he can increase the pace of his thrusts.

  I feel the thick ridges of his cock inside of me as he pumps harder. “Ah, Chloe. It’s so fucking good.”

  It’s so good. I didn’t know it could be like this. I try to say something back but all that escapes me is a moan, a symbol of what my body is feeling.

  He holds me down as he nears his release and as I start to come, I chant his name, wanting him to know that I’m his forever.

  ***

  I walk back into my bedroom wearing only a pair of white panties. “So I take it that you’re a vascular surgeon?”

  He’s sitting on the edge of my bed staring down at the screen of his phone. “You’ve solved that mystery. Tell me how old you are.”

  “Twenty-nine.” I sit next to him before I hand him a glass of water. “Are there any secrets left between us?”

  He downs the water in one large gulp before he places the glass on the bedside table. “No more deep dark secrets on my end. There are things about me I want you to know and people you’ve got to meet, but for the most part, you know who Dr. Evan Scott is now.”

  “He’s a compassionate, gifted, and incredibly sexy man.”

  “That he is.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Tell me about the secrets that Chloe Jones or is it Chloe Neville is hiding?”

  “It’s going to be Jones very soon.” I snuggle next to him. “My divorce wasn’t finalized until just a few months ago and one of the terms of the prenup was that I had to keep the name until the marriage was officially over.”

  He looks down at the floor. “I’m going to say something here, Chloe, and shoot me down if you think it’s totally fucked up.”

  Tension tugs on my nerves. I don’t want him to talk about Christopher ever again. He’s a part of my past and I’m moving toward a future with him and our baby. “What is it?”

  “Marry me. I want you to be Chloe Scott.”

  I look at him while my heart hammers in my chest. How can I marry him? We only met a few months ago. Our entire relationship has been one surprise after another. “Is it too early for that?”

  “That’s not a yes.” He smiles softly. “I’d like to be your husband before the baby arrives. That gives you some time to think about whether you want the same thing. If you do, we’ll get married.”

  I bit the corner of my lip as I consider what he just said. “Do you want to get married because of the baby?”

  Our eyes meet. “I want to get married because I love you. I love you, Chloe and I want our child to grow up witnessing that love every day of her life.”

  “Or his,” I correct him with a grin. “We both know that this might be a little boy.”

  “This is a little girl.” He leans down to kiss my bare stomach. “One day when she’s old enough to understand we’ll tell her the story of how her mom and dad fell in love.”

  “You’ll leave out the part about the one-night stand, right?” I question with a giggle. “You’re not telling my daughter that I picked you up outside a hotel room on a snowy night.”

  “We can leave out some details. “ He scoops me into his lap and his cock instantly stirs. “I have time to make love to you again before I need to get back to the hospital. What’s on your agenda for this afternoon.”

  I shift so I’m straddling him.

  I take in the sight of his handsome face. It’s changed since I first saw him. It’s no longer just the face of a man I fucked the first night we met. Now, it’s the face o
f my partner, my friend and the face of the man I love more than anything.

  “I’m going to spend my afternoon in bed with my fiancé. “

  His grip on me tightens as he slides me forward along his erection. “Your fiancé loves that answer almost as much as he loves you.”

  Epilogue

  1 Year Later

  Evan

  “I didn’t think you had it in you, Jordan.” I slap him across the back.

  “What? Sperm that work?” He grabs the front of his black pants. “I’m just as capable of getting a woman pregnant as you are, Evan.”

  Apparently, that’s the truth.

  It may be my wife’s birthday but Jordan stole the thunder with the announcement that he’s going to be a father. Kylie actually blushed when Jordan gave a mini speech about how much he’s going to love being a dad.

  He will.

  My life changed the day my daughter, Elena Jones Scott, was born. Labor was a breeze. The delivery was uncomplicated.

  Chloe was strong. She was stronger than I was and when Rita told us that it was a girl I looked at my wife and smiled.

  We never asked Rita what the gender of our baby was. We both instinctively knew.

  The day after I moved in with Chloe, I painted the extra bedroom in our apartment yellow because it was supposed to calm the baby.

  That benefit hasn’t kicked in quite yet. Elena rarely sleeps, always smiles and when I’m not at work, I’m as hands on as a parent can be. Chloe is the same and when we’re both at work, Jenny, our nanny keeps our baby safe.

  “Where’s your beautiful bride?” Jordan looks around the apartment for Chloe.

  I know exactly where she is. “I’ll go find her. Hold down the fort for me.”