The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1)

by Martin, R. C.

  “Yeah, well, he freaked out and threw it away without opening it. I've never seen him so upset.”

  “But he seemed just fine at Cooper’s,” I murmur, remembering the two of them together all night. “Better than fine, actually. Has that changed?”

  “No. But...he thinks I got rid of the card.” My jaw drops as I instantly understand her meaning. “I opened it,” she continues. I’ve never seen her look so guilty in my life. “She wrote him a letter.”

  “What did it say?”

  “I can't tell you,” she whispers. I know when a tear runs down her cheek that she's holding back a cry that's robbed her of her voice.

  “Of course,” I mutter, shaking my head at myself. “Grayson should be the first to know.”

  “Right. Exactly!” she chokes. “Except he's not. I am! And when he finds out—”

  “Oh.”

  “I don't know how this turned into a big, fat, scary lie. It just did! And now I don't know what to do.”

  “You have to tell him.”

  “What if he never trusts me again?”

  “Oh, AJ.” I reach out and take hold of both of her shoulders, squeezing gently in an attempt to offer some comfort. “I know it’s going to be hard and he'll probably be upset, but he loves you. Once you explain yourself, he'll know that you didn't do it to hurt him.” I stop myself when I realize I don’t know why she did it at all. “Why did you read it?”

  “Just in case it was nothing,” she says, drying her cheeks. It’s futile, as more tears spill from her eyes. “I would have thrown it away if it was nothing. But, Addie, it's the opposite of nothing.”

  “Then you have two very good reasons to tell him. You need to eradicate the lie and he needs to know about…the opposite of nothing.”

  She looks so torn and scared that I almost wish I could break the news for her. Almost. I push myself up on my knees and wrap my arms around her; she rests against me as she cries. “Have you ever lied to Hammy?”

  “No.” I feel guilty saying it, but it's true.

  “So it's official. I suck as a girlfriend.”

  “Hey, just because I've never lied to him doesn't mean I was the perfect girlfriend. Everyone makes mistakes and relationships aren't easy. You just have to be honest with him. You won’t know how to do damage control until you actually talk to him. Which, by the way, when are you going to do that?”

  “I don’t know,” she mutters lamely.

  “What about right now?”

  She gasps as she pulls away from me. “I—I—I can’t. Didn’t you say you had something to tell me, too?”

  I cough out a laugh. It’s not that I’m amused by her statement, it’s more that I’m amused that I thought I had problems. Compared to this, I don’t. That kiss is plaguing me because I'm reading into it, which is actually really ridiculous seeing as how I know Beck and I trust him and that matters more than what I don't know about him and Logan. The and is not glue. Besides, she's known him for four months. I've been his love for five years. Whatever happens between Beck and I, it’s not going to get figured out today—or even tomorrow. All things considered, my situation pales in comparison to Avery's. “It’s nothing, Ave. You need to talk to him.”

  “What if he’s not home?”

  “What if he is?” I counter. Her shoulders slump in defeat. “AJ, the sooner you do this, the better. You can’t carry this around. It’s not good for you, it’s not good for him, it’s not good for your relationship. Just go downstairs.” As I deliver my pep-talk, I dry her cheeks and wipe away the smudges of mascara that culminated under her eyes. “Just take deep breaths, remember that he loves you and you’ll be fine.”

  Following my instruction, she inhales deeply and exhales slowly. “You’ll be here when I get back?”

  “Promise.”

  The last time I saw Sonny, my lie by omission was smaller. On Sunday, I had the letter but I hadn’t decided what to do with it yet. Yesterday, after I decided to open it, I didn’t get to see him at all, which made it the worst Monday ever. It wasn’t just that I had unveiled such a horrible truth, but it was also the first day in months that we hadn’t seen each other. That being said, as I stand waiting for someone to open the front door to the boys’ apartment, I’m kind of hoping that he’s not inside.

  I suck in a breath, hiding the yellow envelope behind my back, when Jack opens the door. “Hey, Little Red, what’s up?” He steps aside, indicating that I can come in, and continues speaking before I can muster the will to utter a single word. “Big Red’s not here. You’re more than welcome to hang.”

  Without thinking, I sigh in relief. I hope that he didn’t notice. “No. It’s okay. I just—”

  “Thank God,” I hear him as he approaches and I jump, twisting toward the sound of his voice. “I thought I might go crazy if I didn’t get to see you today.” Sonny has me cradled against his chest, one arm around my back and the other under my bent knees, within a blink of an eye. I wrap my arms around his neck, my eyes flickering from the letter in my hands to the grin on his face. For a moment, I’m distracted by his barley-there-dimples that I love so much. It only takes a second, though, before the weight of what I’m about to do grows heavier and not even his handsome face can make me feel better.

  “Hi,” I manage as he carries me inside.

  “Hi, sweetheart.” He kisses me on the cheek before turning to address Jackson over his shoulder. “Thanks, Davis.” I can tell they’ve been spending more and more time on the field as they are referring to each other by their first names less and less. “Ave?”

  “Hmm?” I’m jolted back into the moment at the sound of my name.

  “I asked you how your day was?”

  “Oh. Um. It was okay. Yours?”

  “It just got a whole lot better.”

  His words make me want to cry. I don’t know if I can do this… When he sets me down, he takes off his backpack and discards it at the foot of his bed. I forget about the bright yellow envelope that I’m clutching in my right hand. That is, until he notices and I watch as the smile on his face disappears instantly. Guess I’m doing this…

  “Is that—?”

  “I can explain!” I spit out. My heart is beating so fast, I’m afraid it might quit from exhaustion any second, now. I didn’t plan on starting the conversation this way. Then again, I didn’t really have a plan past showing up and saying hello.

  “Avery?”

  His tone of voice makes me want to cry even more. I can feel it the second my lip starts to tremble and I know I won’t be able to hold it together for long. “Sonny,” I whimper. I try and take a deep breath in order to pull myself together, but all I can manage are short and shallow intakes of air. “I took it out of the trash on Saturday. I didn’t throw it away.”

  “I see that. Why?”

  “I thought you might have just been acting impulsively,” I begin to explain, turning the envelope over in my hands repeatedly. “I thought maybe you’d change your mind.”

  “Well, I haven’t.” He extends his hand, implying that he would like me to hand it over. I know he hasn’t noticed the jagged edge across the top that tells the story of my invasion and I know the worst is yet to come.

  “What are you going to do with it?”

  “Throw it away. I told you, I don’t care what’s in there. I’m not opening it. Will you please give it to me?”

  I can’t breathe anymore. My lungs feel like they’re being constricted by my tears. I try and blink the excess moisture from my eyes, but I can’t blink fast enough. “You can’t throw it away.” My voice comes out so soft, I’m not sure he hears me until he furrows his brow in question.

  “And why is that, Avery?”

  “Because. Because you need to read it.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, his eyes dart down to the item in question. His body stiffens and I know that he knows I opened it. “If you want to throw it away after you read it, I won’t say a word, but there are things—”

  He p
ushes out a heavy sigh as his shoulders drop in disappointment. The look he's giving me now makes me want to dig a hole and bury myself in it. “You read it?”

  He already knows what I’m going to say. I know it. He wants to hear me say it, anyway, and I can’t refuse him. “Yes.”

  “When?”

  “Yesterday,” I whisper. When he lowers himself to sit on the edge of the bed, my heart drops. I know that I’ve hurt him with this betrayal—but seeing the effects of my actions is so much worse than imagining them. He won’t even look at me now.

  “I told you that I didn’t want to read it. I meant it. Regardless of what it says, I won’t change my mind.”

  “But Sonny—”

  “No, Avery,” he states, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. His steady gaze isn’t exactly cold, but it’s far from warm and endearing. “You should have just left it alone.”

  “But—”

  “Stop fighting me on this,” he insists as he stands and snatches the envelope out of my grasp. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

  When he poises his hands to rip the whole thing in half, I lung toward him, cupping my hands over his. “No!” I cry out. “You can’t! You have to read it. You have siblings, Grayson!”

  His head jerks up and his eyes grow wide in what can only be shock. “What?” I don’t hear the word; I only see it on his lips.

  “You have two brothers and a sister. Your mom is married. They live in Wyoming. Grayson, you have to read the letter.” For a moment, he doesn’t speak and I can’t take my eyes off of him. In the silence, I watch as my words become real to him—and the look he gives me when what I’ve said sinks in…

  It. Breaks. My. Heart.

  Literally, I think my organ has been pulled into pieces just at the sight of what I’ve done. There isn’t an ounce of joy or peace or love in his gaze. Even worse, there isn’t any anger or pain, either. There isn’t anything. My favorite green eyes have never looked less remarkable.

  I did that. I just stole the light from his eyes.

  “Sonny?”

  “Get out.”

  The sob I’ve managed to swallow until now fights its way to freedom at his demand. “Sonny—”

  “Avery, get out,” he repeats, pulling his hands away from my touch.

  “Sonny, I’m sorry!”

  He shakes his head at me as if to deny acceptance of my apology. “I didn’t know it was possible for you to make me feel this way.”

  I don’t think I’ve ever been as devastated as I am in this moment.

  What have I done?

  “If you won’t leave, I will,” he mumbles, dejectedly.

  Before I can stop him, he’s gone.

  I hear her before the front door even opens. I hurry out of my room, just in time to see her race into hers—slamming the door behind her. My heart drops. I think back to the worried look she had in her eyes before she left. I knew that this conflict would be a big deal—but I didn’t know that the aftermath would explode to this magnitude.

  When Sarah comes out of her room and joins me just outside her door, we exchange a look. Suddenly, all the things that have gone unsaid between us seem to vanish entirely. Right now, we’re needed as a united front—and that is understood without a single word.

  “What happened?” she asks, concern tugging at her brow.

  “I think they’re in the middle of their first big fight.”

  “Fight. Really? Okay. That’s new.” She nods her head and I can tell she’s already starting to plot her next move. “I’m going to need some ice cream. Vanilla. Could you run down the street really quick? I’ll start baking.”

  “You got it. I’ll be back in a few.”

  Me: Hey. How’s Ave?

  My Girl: Miserable. :( And Gray?

  It’s been almost forty-eight hours since Gray and Ave got into their first fight. And boy, is it a hell-of-a first fight. Gray refuses to talk about it. I only know bits and pieces of what happened from Jack and Addie. I don’t think it’s a matter of Gray not trusting me with the details, he’s just too overwhelmed to discuss them. This was not an ideal week for him and his girl to be at odds.

  Me: Same. Walking zombie.

  My Girl: They need to talk to each other!

  Me: He’s not doing a lot of talking.

  My Girl: Yeah, I know…he hasn’t returned a single one of Ave’s texts or calls.

  Me: I think he’s nervous about the game. He’s just got a lot on his mind.

  My Girl: Ugh…I guess that’s understandable. It is the biggest game he’ll play all season. But maybe he wouldn’t be so worried about it if him and his girlfriend weren’t fighting!!

  Me: Based off of what I know, it might not be that simple.

  My Girl: You’re right…I just hate this :(

  Me: Agreed. They’ll work it out, though. You work on her, I’ll work on him?

  My Girl: Always.

  My Girl: Btw, how are you?

  A grin spreads across my face at her question. In an instant, my concern for Gray is temporarily set aside and I remember the day I’ve had. I’m more than happy to answer her question and share my news. She’ll be the first person I’ve had the chance to tell. I wouldn’t wish for it any other way.

  Me: My applications are in :)

  My Girl: WHAT?!?!?! That’s AWESOME! Yay! :) :) :) Congratulations!

  Me: lol. Thanks!!

  My Girl: I’m so proud of you! I’ll be praying that all the right doors will be opened for you.

  Me: That means a lot. Thank you.

  My Girl: We should celebrate! Maybe on Saturday after the game? All of us can go out!?

  Me: That sounds fun.

  My Girl: Then it’s a plan :)

  Logan: On a scale from 1-10…?

  I’m pleasantly surprised to have received a text from Logan. We haven’t spoken since Saturday—since she kissed me and then rushed off after I pushed her away. Not that I blame her. It does make things a little awkward. I was hoping that it wouldn’t mess up our friendship, though; one drunken kiss shouldn’t destroy what we’ve built. It’s been a crazy week, which is why I haven’t thought to reach out to her first, but I figured, at the very least, I’d see her at the game on Saturday. A group of us are going early to tailgate. It’s going to be a big day. The CSU vs CU game is always a huge deal, as it’s the biggest rivalry game Colorado will see all season. It’s so intense that the game isn’t even held on either campus, but at the Sports Authority Field, where the Broncos play.

  For a second, my thoughts drift back to Gray. I know he feels a lot of pressure this week as the rivalry game is not only the most anticipated game he’ll play all season, but it’s also the season opener. With everything that he’s got going on, I feel nervous for him.

  I shake my head and return to the moment at hand.

  Me: 9.5

  Logan: Wow! If I had known hearing from me would make you so happy, I would have texted you sooner ;)

  Me: lol. How about you?

  Logan: 6…but I was hoping that you’d make it better by letting me buy you a drink? I think I owe you…

  Logan: Plus, now I need to know about your 9.5 day.

  Me: You want to go out tonight?

  Logan: Yeah. Are you busy? I was thinking Little Bird.

  Me: I can say yes under one condition.

  Logan: I promise I won’t kiss you ;)

  I cough out a laugh, surprised by her comment. But then I think about it and realize I’m actually not surprised; that’s such a Logan thing to say. It makes me feel less awkward, having her put it out there like that. Looking at the books that are open in front of me, I’m reminded that her promise not to kiss me is not the condition that I was referring to.

  Me: lol—okay, two conditions.

  Me: I have to bring homework.

  Logan: Why am I not surprised?

  Logan: I suppose I can bring some work, too. Way to keep me on my toes when I was trying to AVOID homework…how does 7 sound?
<
br />   Me: I’ll see you soon.

  The coffee shop is pretty busy; but seeing as how school is back in session, that’s to be expected. Coffee houses all over Fort Collins are always brimming with students throughout the year, as they are ideal study spots. Complete with coffee and snacks, what more could you ask for? When I arrive, I spot Logan right away. She’s sitting at a table near the front window. I smile to myself, wondering if she got the table because it was available or because she sweet talked someone out of it—I wouldn’t put it past her.

  “Hey,” I say in greeting, setting down my things.

  “Hi.” Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, which is rare for her, and her makeup is barely there, like whenever I run into her after she’s come from the gym, and I wonder if this is Logan as a student. When she stands with a laugh and smacks me in the chest with the back of her hand, I’m pulled out of my thoughts. “Don’t give me that look. I went to the gym before dinner and I wasn’t going to get dressed up just to have coffee and do homework with your smart ass.” I chuckle, amused that she saw right through me. “What do you want to drink?”

  “Whatever you’re having is fine.”

  “Caramel macchiato, it is. I’ll be right back.”

  I take out what I’ve been working on this evening while she goes to grab our drinks. She’s only gone for a couple minutes, but she has to pull me out of a book as if she’s been gone for hours.

  “Talk about focus. The only thing that ever gets that much attention from me are my eyebrows,” she teases with a wink. I laugh and shake my head at her. “So—tell me about this nine-point-five grade day.”

  “I submitted my first round of med school applications.”

  Her eyebrows shoot up in excitement. “Congratulations! That must be a huge weight off your back.”

  “You have no idea.”