The Compleated Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (1757-1790)
Page 1
Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Benjamin Franklin and His Autobiography
THE COMPLEATED AUTOBIOGRAPHY (1757-90)
A Continuation of the Account of My Life
Editor’s Note:
Chapter One - First Mission to London, 1757–62
LONDON WAS ONE GREAT SMOKY HOUSE
I HAVE A THOUSAND TIMES WISHED MY WIFE WITH ME
ANOTHER OF MY FANCIES: SILK BLANKETS!
DECEIVED, CHEATED, AND BETRAYED
A JOURNEY TO CAMBRIDGE
THE POSSIBILITY OF FREEZING A MAN TO DEATH ON A WARM SUMMER’S DAY
COOLING BODIES BY EVAPORATION... A POWER OF NATURE
THE VILLAGE WHERE MY FATHER WAS BORN
THE BEST ROOM IN THE HOUSE IS CHARITY
MY FAVORITE COUNTRY
THE JUNTO: I FIND I LOVE COMPANY
UNSIZABLE SUBJECTS AND INSUFFICIENT LORDS
PERFECTING A NEW MUSICAL INSTRUMENT CALLED THE ARMONICA
I SAW NO SIGNS OF GOD’S JUDGMENTS
THE FUTURE GRANDEUR AND STABILITY OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE LIE IN AMERICA
Chapter Two - My Return to Philadelphia, 1762–64
A PLEASANT PASSAGE TO AMERICA
THE EXPENSE OF LIVING WAS GREATLY ADVANC’D IN AMERICA
I WAS ELECTED TO THE ASSEMBLY
A TOUR OF THE POST OFFICES
THE SIMPLE BEAUTY OF SCOTTISH TUNES
A HIGHER OPINION OF THE BLACK RACE
THE PAXTON BOYS AND THE INDIAN MASSACRES
THE PROPRIETARY GOVERNMENT WAS WEAK
RETURN TO LONDON
Chapter Three - Second Mission to England, 1764–75
OLD FRIENDS IN LONDON
GOD IS VERY GOOD TO US IN MANY RESPECTS
MAGIC SQUARES... AND MAGIC CIRCLES
THE STAMP ACT, THE MOTHER OF MISCHIEF
HOW THE STAMP ACT CAME TO BE
WE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HINDERED THE SUN’S SETTING
A MOB AT MY HOME IN PHILADELPHIA
I SPOKE MY MIND PRETTY PLAINLY
I WAS NEVER PROUDER OF ANY DRESS IN MY LIFE
ENEMIES DO A MAN SOME GOOD
NEVER ASK, NEVER REFUSE, NEVER RESIGN
I TRAVELLED A GOOD DEAL FOR MY HEALTH
REFRAIN FROM ALL IDLE, USELESS AMUSEMENTS
MY LONG PARTNERSHIP EXPIRES
AN “UNPROMISING” MARRIAGE SURVIVES AND PROSPERS
ANY PROFESSION IS PREFERABLE TO AN OFFICE HELD AT PLEASURE
SEEKING A LAND GRANT
SOME LATE INCIDENTS BETWEEN PARLIAMENT AND THE COLONIES
AMERICA IS FAVOURED BY NATURE
FRANCE: A PRESTIGIOUS MIXTURE OF MAGNIFICENCE AND NEGLIGENCE
SO MANY INSTANCES OF GOODNESS BY THE RICH!
A LAW MIGHT BE MADE TO RAISE THEIR WAGES, BUT...
JOHN WILKES AND DRUNKEN MAD MOBS
THE MOBS ROAR FOR WILKES AND LIBERTY!
THE KING OF DENMARK SHOW ’D AN INQUISITIVE MIND
A MALICE AGAINST US IN SOME POWERFUL PEOPLE
PERVERSE AND SENSELESS MANAGEMENT OF LORD HILLSBOROUGH
THE SEEDS ARE SOWN OF TOTAL DISUNION
VISIT TO NORTHERN ENGLAND: THEIR WORK WAS EXTREMELY HARD
THE RECOLLECTION OF MY LIFE
IRELAND AND SCOTLAND IN A MOST WRETCHED SITUATION
SO MUCH GENERAL COMFORT AND HAPPINESS IN AMERICA
MY THEORY OF COLDS: I WOULD SIT IN MY CHAMBER WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES WHATEVER
I SELDOM DINED AT HOME IN WINTER
OUT OF DEBT... OUT OF DANGER
SECURING BUILDINGS FROM LIGHTNING
AN EXPERIMENT TO STILL THE WATERS
ALL THEIR SCHEMES OF LIFE WERE OVERTHROWN!
“I’LL BE HANGED IF THIS IS NOT ONE OF YOUR AMERICAN JOKES!”
THE AFFAIR OF THE HUTCHINSON LETTERS
EVERY AFFRONT IS NOT WORTH A DUEL
HUTCHINSON: “THERE MUST BE AN ABRIDGMENT OF WHAT ARE CALLED ENGLISH LIBERTIES.”
I KEPT SILENT TILL I HEARD OF A SECOND DUEL
THIS THEY CALL GOVERNMENT!
MEETING IN THE COCKPIT
MY SON SAW EVERYTHING WITH GOVERNMENT EYES
JOURNAL OF NEGOTIATIONS IN LONDON
COUNTRIES REMOTE FROM THE EYE OF GOVERNMENT ARE NOT WELL GOVERNED
A CERTAIN LADY DESIRING TO PLAY WITH ME AT CHESS
THE GOOD CHARACTER OF LORD HOWE
WHAT THE FRENCH CALL SPITTING IN THE SOUP
A VISIT FROM THIS GREAT MAN FLATTERED MY VANITY
“ONE OF THE MOST MISCHIEVOUS ENEMIES THIS COUNTRY HAS KNOWN”
THE GREATEST OF ABSURDITIES
WE DID NOT WISH FOR WAR
BAD WEATHER DOES NOT LAST ALWAYS IN ANY COUNTRY
I HEARD OF THE DEATH OF MY WIFE IN PHILADELPHIA
WE WERE TREATED WITH THE UTMOST CONTEMPT
CONVERSATION EVERYWHERE TURNS UPON THE SUBJECT OF AMERICA
Chapter Four - Congress and the Declaration of Independence, 1775–76
NOTHING THOUGHT OF BUT ARMS
A DELEGATE TO CONGRESS
THEY ARE A BARBAROUS TYRANNY
MAKE YOURSELF SHEEP AND THE WOLVES WILL EAT YOU
YOU ARE NOW MY ENEMY, AND I AM . . . YOURS
THE RATTLESNAKE AS A SYMBOL OF AMERICA: “DON’T TREAD ON ME”
THIS BUSTLE IS UNSUITABLE TO AGE
THE REAL AUTHOR OF COMMON SENSE
FROM THE PENNSYLVANIA ASSEMBLY TO CONGRESS
A TRIP TO CANADA
WE WERE IN A CRITICAL AND MOST IRKSOME SITUATION
IT IS THE NATURAL RIGHT OF MEN TO QUIT THE STATE
THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE: WE HAZARD OUR LIVES AND FORTUNES
BREAKING THAT FINE AND NOBLE CHINA VASE, THE BRITISH EMPIRE
MEETING WITH LORD HOWE ON STATEN ISLAND
REBELLION TO TYRANTS IS OBEDIENCE TO GOD
LIKE CUTTING OFF THE SPRING FROM THE YEAR
IT WAS LONG FORESEEN THAT WE COULD NOT HOLD NEW YORK
COMMISSIONER TO FRANCE
A MIRACLE IN HUMAN AFFAIRS
THE GREATEST REVOLUTION THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
WE MAY THEREFORE WITH GREAT PROPRIETY TAKE LEAVE OF ENGLAND
Chapter Five - Minister to France, 1776–78
ON MY ARRIVAL I COULD SCARCELY STAND
I WAS MADE EXTREMELY WELCOME IN FRANCE
THE COURT VIEWED AN APPROACHING WAR WITH RELUCTANCE
THE STATE OF AMERICA IN 1776-77
THIS GENEROUS AND NOBLE BENEFACTION
OFFICERS OF ALL RANKS WORRY ME FROM MORNING TO NIGHT
YOU HAVE NO CONCEPTION HOW I WAS HARASS’D
MODEL OF A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION
OUR CAUSE WAS ESTEEM’D THE CAUSE OF ALL MANKIND
WE WILL MOST CHEERFULLY RISK OUR PERSONAL LIBERTY OR LIFE
COMMERCE WITH EVERY NATION; WAR WITH NONE
OUR PRISONERS COMPLAIN’D OF VERY SEVERE TREATMENT
TO ME IT SEEMED ALL ALONG THAT THIS WAR WOULD END IN OUR FAVOUR
THE FLAG CONSISTS OF THIRTEEN STRIPES, ALTERNATELY RED, WHITE AND BLUE
ABOUT SPIES AND SAFETY
WE WERE IN IMMINENT DANGER OF BANKRUPTCY
A SURPRISE VICTORY AT SARATOGA
ALLIANCE WITH FRANCE IN 1778
Chapter Six - Minister to France, 1778–79
I ENJOY’D A GOOD NEIGHBOURHOOD OF VERY AGREEABLE PEOPLE
I GREW PERFECTLY SICK OF PORTRAITS
I FOUND FRANCE A MOST AMIABLE NATION TO LIVE IN
SOMEBODY GAVE IT OUT THAT I LOV’D LADIES
THE PLEASING CONVERSATION OF MADAME BRILLON
WE CAUSED GREAT INCONVENIENCE BY DETAINING YOU SO LONG IN THE BATH
“ALL GREAT MEN ARE TAINTED WITH IT: IT IS CALLED THEIR WEAKNESS”
I CONFESS I BREAK THIS COMMANDMENT CONSTANTLY
“A WOMAN MAY HAVE DESIRES BUT SHE MUST NOT YIELD”
“I HAVE CHOSEN YOU FOR MY FATHER”
“PEOPLE HAVE CRITICIZED MY SWEET HABIT OF SITTING ON YOUR LAP”
WE PASSED THE DAY TOGETHER AT MOULIN JOLI
A PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO MADAME HELVÉTIUS
A DREAM IN “THE ELYSIAN FIELDS”
MY LONG CONTINU’D FRIENDSHIP WITH MRS. STEVENSON
GOOD HEALTH FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS
A PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE
I HAVE NEVER MADE THE LEAST PROFIT BY ANY OF MY INVENTIONS
ADVENTURES OF ONE DAY’S ANNOYANCE
I HAD A GREAT DEAL OF PLEASURE IN TEMPLE AND BEN
I LOST ALL MY CORRESPONDENCE FOR NEARLY TWENTY YEARS
FOR OF ALL THINGS, I HATE ALTERCATION
I WROTE THIS LETTER TO ARTHUR LEE. . . .
BUT SENT THIS ONE.. . . .
THEY WROTE ME LONG ABUSIVE LETTERS, WHICH I NEVER ANSWERED
THE DEFORMED AND THE HANDSOME LEG
AMERICA MAY BE CHEAPLY GOVERNED
ON FREE TRADE
I ASKED CONGRESS TO SEPARATE US
Chapter Seven - Minister to France, 1779–81
MY APPOINTMENT AS MINISTER PLENIPOTENTIARY
LAFAYETTE, HIS BRAVERY AND GOOD CONDUCT
WAR NEWS FROM HOME
SOMETIMES I REGRET I WAS BORN TOO SOON
AN AMERICAN PASSPORT FOR CAPTAIN JAMES COOK
WASTING OUR WEALTH ON PRODIGALITY
CORRESPONDENCE WITH MY DAUGHTER, SALLY
PITY MY SITUATION
I HAD LONG BEEN HUMILIATED BEGGING FOR MONEY AND FRIENDSHIP
THIS CURRENCY AS WE MANAGED IT WAS A WONDERFUL MACHINE
THOSE WHO LOVE TO RECEIVE LETTERS SHOULD WRITE LETTERS
INTRIGUE AND TREACHERY AT MADAME BRILLON’S
DO NOT PAY TOO MUCH FOR YOUR WHISTLE
“I HAVE OFTEN PAID A HIGH PRICE FOR BAD WHISTLES”
NEW COPPER COINS MIGHT MAKE AN IMPRESSION ON YOUNG PERSONS
THIS PUT THE ENEMY TO MUCH EXPENSE
THEIR DEVILISHNESS WEAKENED THAT RESOLUTION
ONE OF THE GREATEST CAPTAINS OF THE AGE
MUTINY ON THE ALLIANCE
I MUST HAVE A LITTLE REPOSE
THE BEST MEN HAVE THE MOST ENEMIES
APPOINTMENT OF ROBERT MORRIS AS FINANCE SECRETARY
RIOTS IN LONDON
LETTERS FROM HOME
TWO SORTS OF PEOPLE IN LIFE
MY DIALOGUE WITH THE GOUT
“WRAPPED IN THIS WRETCHED GAME OF CHESS, YOU DESTROY YOUR CONSTITUTION”
BENEDICT ARNOLD’S TREASON
LONG DELAYS WITH SPAIN
LEE’S PAMPHLET AGAINST ME
A FRESH APPLICATION FOR MORE MONEY
I PASSED MY 75 YEAR AND SOUGHT TO RESIGN
CONGRESS REFUSES MY RESIGNATION
ONE MORE REQUEST FOR MY GRANDSON
A PROPOSED MARRIAGE FOR MY GRANDSON
A RETURN TO PHILOSOPHICAL AFFAIRS
THE LOSS AT SEA WAS A HEAVY ONE
HAZARD NO MORE DRAFTS FROM CONGRESS!
HOW TO PAY OFF THE WAR DEBTS
BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS
MY DISPUTE WITH M. BEAUMARCHAIS
TO MANY LETTERS I NEVER RECEIVED ANY ANSWER
I WAS SORRY FOR HIS MISFORTUNES, BUT...
WE HAVE NO NAME IN OUR LANGUAGE FOR SUCH VILLAINY
CRUEL CAPTIVITY OVER FOUR YEARS
HE BRUSQUED THE MINISTERS TOO MUCH
THERE WAS NOW A GREAT VOID FOR ME IN PASSY
FIRE AT THE OPERA HOUSE!
NO SAFETY BUT OUR INDEPENDENCE
Chapter Eight - Minister to France, 1781–83
THE GLORIOUS NEWS... GEN. CORNWALLIS CAPITULATES!
MISFORTUNES MAKE PEOPLE WISE
DEMANDS AFTER DEMANDS
LAFAYETTE, A GREAT MAN IN FRANCE
MR. DEANE’S RESENTMENTS AND PASSIONS OVERCAME HIS REASON AND JUDGMENT
ADVICE TO MY GRANDSON BENNY: “LOSS OF TIME IS A LOSS OF LEARNING”
IT’S BAD TO HAVE A REPUTATION OF BEING CHARITABLE
EXCHANGING PRISONERS ONCE AGAIN
THE PEACE COMMISSION: A TOTAL CHANGE HAD TAKEN PLACE IN THE MINISTRY
JOURNAL OF THE PEACE NEGOTIATIONS
THEY WHO THREATEN ARE AFRAID
CANADA SHOULD BE GIVEN UP TO US
I WAS ASHAMED TO LET THE PAPER GO OUT OF MY HANDS
“MR. FRANKLIN KNOWS THE TRUTH”
THE RELEASE OF ALL AMERICAN PRISONERS
IN THE MULTITUDE OF COUNSELORS THERE IS SAFETY
SUCH FLATTERING LANGUAGE MIGHT HAVE MADE ME VAINER
THE TRUE LOYALISTS WERE THE AMERICANS
MR. JAY FINALLY ARRIVES
I FIND MEN TO BE A SORT OF BEING VERY BADLY CONSTRUCTED
EXCHANGE OF CORNWALLIS AND MR. LAURENS
MY LANDLORD WAS FOREVER RENEWING DEMANDS
I CANNOT COMPREHEND CRUEL MEN
A PLAN FOR A UNIVERSAL AND PERPETUAL PEACE
PRESSING ME FOR MORE MONEY
THE ENGLISH DRAW OUT THE NEGOTIATIONS AT LENGTH
A TREATY WITH MADAME BRILLON
THERE WERE FEW PRIVATE HANDS WE COULD TRUST...
THE TREATY OF PARIS SIGNED
Chapter Nine - Minister to France, 1783–85
MR. ADAMS FANCIED THAT WE WERE CONTINUALLY PLOTTING AGAINST HIM
THIS MONSTROUS PRIDE AND INSOLENCE
TO THOSE TRAVELLING TO AMERICA
OUR COUNTRY AFFORDS A GOOD CLIMATE, GOOD LAWS, AND CHEAP GOVERNMENT
THE BOOK OF STATE CONSTITUTIONS IN FRENCH
IN AMERICA, PEOPLE DO NOT INQUIRE WHAT IS HE? BUT WHAT CAN HE DO?
THE MARRIED STATE IS, AFTER ALL OUR JOKES, THE HAPPIEST. . . .
THE DEATH OF MRS. STEVENSON
I DETERMINED TO GIVE HIM A TRADE
THE TREATIES WERE MET WITH GREAT DELAYS
SEEKING FURTHER AID FROM FRANCE
ALL PROPERTY IS THE CREATURE OF SOCIETY
TRADE WITH FRANCE: THE MORE UNRESTRAINED, THE MORE IT FLOURISHES
NO NATION WAS EVER RUINED BY TRADE
THERE NEVER WAS A GOOD WAR, OR A BAD PEACE
AN ACCUSATION THAT FALLS LITTLE SHORT OF TREASON
WILLIAM PENN WAS A WISE AND GOOD MAN, BUT THOMAS WAS A MISERABLE CHURL
AIR BALLOONS: WE THINK OF NOTHING BUT OF FLYING
THERE WAS A GOOD DEAL OF ANXIETY FOR THEIR SAFETY
ALL PARIS WAS OUT TO SEE IT. ... HALF A MILLION SPECTATORS
BEING NOW DISABLED BY THE STONE
THE ORDER OF CINCINNATI: DESCENDING HONOUR IS GROUNDLESS, ABSURD, AND HURTFUL ...
I WISH THE BALD EAGLE HAD NOT BEEN CHOSEN
THIS HAS BEEN A TRICK OF MINE FOR DOING A DEAL OF GOOD WITH A LITTLE MONEY
A SATIRE ON DAYLIGHT SAVING
STOOP AS YOU GO THROUGH LIFE
HOPING TO RETURN TO BOSTON
A NEW COMMISSION
INVENTION OF DOUBLE SPECTACLES
MR. MESMER AND ANIMAL MAGNETISM
ELECTRIC EXPERIMENTS WITH A PARALYTIC PATIENT
“AMERICANS WERE VERY HAPPY”
PROPORTIONING PUNISHMENTS ACCORDING TO OFFENSES
MORE THAN 700 PRIVATEERS COMMISSIONED
THE DESIRE TO GO HOME TO MY FAMILY IN AMERICA WAS STRONG
Chapter Ten - The Creation of a New Nation, 1785–87
GOD BE PRAISED.... I ARRIVE IN DEAR PHILADELPHIA!
I WROTE A TRUER STATE OF AFFAIRS IN OUR COUNTRY
INSTEAD OF A FAST THEY PROCLAIMED A THANKSGIVING
NO PART ARE SO WELL FED, WELL CLOTH’D, WELL LODG’D AND WELL PAID
NO NATION ENJOYS A GREATER SHARE OF HUMAN FELICITY
NO REVENUE IS SUFFICIENT WITHOUT ECONOMY
THE E
XTRAVAGANT REJOICINGS EVERY 4 OF JULY
“WHY DON’T THESE DAMNED AMERICANS PAY THEIR DEBTS?”
TAXES AND THE NATIONAL DEBT
THE INSTRUCTION OF YOUTH ESTEEM’D AMONG THE MOST HONOURABLE
CHARITABLE INSTITUTIONS ARE OFTEN MISMANAG’D
I APPLAUD HIS ZEAL FOR PRESERVING THE PURITY OF OUR LANGUAGE
THAT IS WHY I LOVE LIFE!
BUILDING IS AN AMUSEMENT IN OLD AGE
THE INVENTION WAS OF SOME USE TO THE INVENTOR
I SPENT THE TIME SO IDLY... I SHUFFLED THE CARDS AND BEGAN ANOTHER GAME
EXERCISE SHOULD PRECEDE MEALS...
CORRESPONDENCE WITH OLD FRIENDS IN EUROPE
THE LAST TWELVE YEARS OF MY LIFE WERE EMPLOYED IN MATTERS OF THE GREATEST IMPORTANCE
SHAYS’S REBELLION, THAT DANGEROUS INSURRECTION
TOO MUCH PAPER MONEY IS MISCHIEVOUS
A CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION IN PHILADELPHIA: ONLY A VIRTUOUS PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE ...
TWO PASSIONS HAVE A VIOLENT EFFECT IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN
A CONSTANT WARFARE BETWEEN THE GOVERNING AND THE GOVERNED
SINGLE VS. DUAL LEGISLATURE: THE FABLE OF THE SNAKE WITH TWO HEADS
REPRESENTATION BY POPULATION OR BY STATE?
GOD GOVERNS IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN!
I CONSENT TO THIS CONSTITUTION BECAUSE THIS SYSTEM APPROACHES SO NEAR TO PERFECTION
MAY EACH DOUBT A LITTLE OF HIS OWN INFALLIBILITY
IS THIS A RISING OR A SETTING SUN?
Chapter Eleven - My Final Years, 1787...
AMERICA IS TOO ENLIGHTENED TO BE ENSLAVED
IN AMERICA, ANOTHER WAR WITH THE INDIANS . . .
AND IN EUROPE, ANOTHER WITH . . .
AN HONEST HERETIC
HOW DIFFERENT WAS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!
SETTLING MY ACCOUNTS WITH CONGRESS
AS I GROW OLDER, I FIND WRITING MORE PAINFUL
THE BOSTON MANNER, TURN OF PHRASE, AND ACCENT REVIVE ME
I WISH I HAD BEEN BORN TWO OR THREE CENTURIES HENCE
ABUSE OF THE LIBERTY OF THE PRESS
PENNSYLVANIA IS A GOOD COUNTRY TO DIE IN, THO’ A VERY BAD ONE TO LIVE IN
MY LOVE OF FRANCE
THE REVOLUTION IN FRANCE GIVES ME A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN
THE NEW CONSTITUTION IS APPROVED
NOTHING IS CERTAIN EXCEPT DEATH AND TAXES
I BEGIN TO FEEL MYSELF A FREE MAN
CONSTANT AND GRIEVOUS PAIN
THE RELIEF OF FREE NEGROES AND THE ABOLITION OF SLAVERY
THE RELIGION OF JESUS: THE BEST THE WORLD EVER SAW
I OPPOSED THE CLAUSE OF RELIGIOUS DECLARATION
I MEAN REAL GOOD WORKS, NOT HOLIDAY-KEEPING AND MAKING LONG PRAYERS