The Baby Bet: His Secret Son (The Baby Bet #5)

by Joan Elliott Pickart

  He could then go on to say that he was in love with her, wanted to marry her and be that baby’s father. Wanted to be part of a family that would have a home filled to overflowing with love. A house with a yard big enough for a dog.

  “Yeah, right,” Andrew said, shaking his head. “Like Kara would buy all that, no questions asked. Not a chance, Malone.”

  No, not Kara MacAllister. She’d make him back up, readdress what he’d said regarding her being a single woman raising a son. She’d no doubt accuse him of glossing over his feelings on the subject, might very well believe that he still felt as he had when he said those horrendous things to her, but was dismissing them now because he was asking her to marry him.

  The ugly scene in her bedroom would remain as the barrier between them, no matter what their feelings for each other might be.

  Andrew stopped walking, narrowed his eyes and stared into space.

  Yes, that was the wall that created the dark and haunting shadow that stood between him and Kara. It was the why of his initial reaction to Kara’s excited announcement that she was adopting the baby in the hospital nursery.

  He had lashed out at her so cruelly.

  Why?

  He had labeled her a selfish woman who wished to fulfill her maternal needs with no regard for the child she was using to satisfy those needs.

  Why?

  He had made it sound as though he’d had an empty hollow childhood because of a lack of a father, which simply wasn’t true.

  Why?

  Kara would demand answers to those questions. He needed to know what they were before he could obtain any inner peace, be in an emotional place where he was fit to ask Kara to be his wife, declare his love for her, ask her if she returned his love.

  Somehow he had to transport himself back to the exact moment when Kara told him about her plans to adopt that baby, then halt the scene rolling in his mind, examine it, reach deep within himself for the answers to the damning question of why.

  Andrew spun around and began to retrace his steps.

  He would return to the hotel and not allow himself to sleep until the mystery was solved, the wall crushed into dust and the dark shadow flung into oblivion for all time.

  And while he struggled to find within himself what he was seeking, he would hold fast to the glowing ember of hope that Kara MacAllister loved him.

  Chapter 18

  The next morning Andrew stood among a group of trees bordering the parking lot to the hospital. He glanced yet again at his watch, relieved to see that it was, at long last, nearly eleven o’clock.

  He’d been standing there for three hours, wanting to be certain that he didn’t miss witnessing Kara leave the hospital with the baby. He was totally exhausted, had hardly slept the previous night, yet he was exhilarated at the same time.

  He had the answers he had been seeking.

  Slowly but surely through the long dark hours of the night, as he concentrated on that final scene with Kara, relived over and over the emotions he’d been experiencing then, it began to come together like an intricate puzzle, the pieces linking into a picture that he could comprehend.

  There was just one final step he felt he had to take. He had to see Kara with the baby as she left the hospital to take her son home for the first time.

  That would be the final test. The last piece of the puzzle that was still missing. The assurance he needed that he truly did understand where his reactions to Kara’s news about adopting the baby had stemmed from during that horrendous scene in Kara’s bedroom.

  Andrew’s muscles ached from standing so long and from tensing every time a car drove into the parking lot. He was afraid that someone would call security regarding the man skulking around the edge of the lot for hours, but so far he had apparently gone unnoticed.

  Andrew stiffened and his heart began to beat in a wild tempo as the front doors of the hospital swished open and Kara emerged carrying a car seat in her arms.

  She stopped, looked up at the brilliant blue sky, then smiled as she gazed into the car seat. Andrew could see her lips moving as she said something to the baby, then she started off again, crossing the lot to where her car was parked.

  Andrew stepped quickly out of sight behind a large tree, his mind racing. He closed his eyes and mentally saw the last piece to the puzzle click firmly into place, then dropped his chin to his chest in heartfelt relief.

  Yes, he now knew why.

  “Ah, Kara,” he whispered. “Now it’s up to you. Will you forgive me for hurting you? Do you love me as I love you? Do you, Kara?”

  Andrew peered around the tree and saw Kara drive out of the parking lot. He walked slowly to his own vehicle, deciding he had to endure another hour before he would go to Kara’s apartment, give her time to get the baby settled in and enjoy, privately, the first moments of having her son home where he belonged.

  One more hour.

  Then he’d go to Kara MacAllister.

  And before this day was over, his entire future would be determined.

  Kara hummed softly as she placed the last bottle of the batch of formula she’d prepared into the refrigerator. She left the kitchen, crossed the living room, which was a bit crowded with the furniture from her office, and went into the second bedroom that was now officially a nursery.

  She stood by the crib and watched the baby sleeping peacefully, his tiny hands splayed next to his face.

  “You’re really here, sweetheart,” she said, tears of joy misting her eyes. “I can hardly believe it. You’re home, my precious, and I love you so much. I’m going to stand here like a silly first-time mommy and watch you sleep. You’re so beautiful.”

  Kara frowned when she heard a knock on the apartment door.

  Who could that be? she wondered. The family knew she wanted to be alone with the baby today. She’d had Lucy juggle her patient appointments so that these hours to savor this momentous event were hers.

  The knock was repeated.

  “Well, darn it.” She left the room and hurried to answer the summons, still frowning at the unexpected intrusion.

  Kara opened the door without checking through the peephole to see who was there, and her eyes widened as she found herself staring at Andrew Malone.

  “Hello, Kara,” he said quietly, no readable expression on his face.

  “Andrew, what—”

  “May I come in?” he interrupted. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

  “How did you know I was here, instead of at the office?” she said.

  “You’re a MacAllister, who brought her son home today,” Andrew said, a slight smile forming on his lips. “I’m a MacAllister, so I know about it. It falls into the same category as the dog for the yard.”

  “Pardon me?” Kara said, obviously confused.

  “Never mind. May I come in?”

  “Well, I…” Kara sighed. “Yes, all right.”

  Andrew entered the apartment and Kara closed the door behind him, leaning back against it as she felt her knees begin to tremble from the close proximity to Andrew. She drank in the sight of him as he crossed the room, then turned to face her.

  Focus, Kara ordered herself. Don’t dwell on how much you love this man, how much you’ve missed him, ached for him, longed to see him, touch him, feel his kiss and…No.

  She lifted her chin. “This is a very special day in my life, Andrew. I have no intention of allowing you to mar it in any way. I’m aware that you believe me to be a selfish self-serving woman who adopted a baby boy to satisfy my maternal needs, with no regard for the fact that the child wouldn’t have a father. I don’t wish to rehash all that. I refuse to do so. So it’s probably best if you just leave and—”

  “I love you, Kara,” Andrew said, cutting off her rush of words.

  Kara stopped speaking and frowned. “You what?”

  Andrew shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and drew a deep breath.

  “Could we sit down?” he said.

  “Good idea,”
Kara said.

  Kara sank gratefully onto a chair as Andrew sank onto the sofa. He leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees and linked his fingers, his gaze riveted on Kara.

  “Kara,” he said, his voice gritty, “I am deeply in love with you. I’ve stepped out of the past, I’m free of the hold it had on me, and I’m looking to the future, a future I want to spend with you—you, as my wife, my soul mate, my partner.”

  “But—”

  “Please, hear me out,” Andrew said.

  Kara nodded, her heart beating so rapidly she could hear the echo of it in her ears. She clutched her shaking hands tightly in her lap and stared at Andrew.

  “You’ve stolen my heart, Kara MacAllister, and so has that baby, your son. The thing is, I don’t want my heart back. I want you to keep it and to hear you say that your heart belongs to me.”

  “You’re in love with selfish me?” Kara said, narrowing her eyes. “Oh, really? You’ll pardon me, I trust, if I find that hard to believe, Andrew.”

  Kara paused and the color drained from her face.

  “Oh, wait just a minute here,” she said. “You said that my baby, my son, has also stolen your heart. Is that what this is all about, Andrew Malone? Your paternal instincts have kicked in, gone into overdrive, and you want to be a father? So, you’ll put up with me in order to be a daddy to that baby who is sleeping down the hall?”

  “Ah, hell,” Andrew said, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment. “I was afraid that was what you would think.” He looked at Kara again. “Please, listen to me, Kara. Let me explain what happened, what I’ve finally figured out after many sleepless nights.”

  “Go for it,” Kara said, folding her arms over her breasts.

  “Will you hear me with an open mind?”

  “Don’t get picky,” she said. “Count your blessings that I haven’t already thrown you out of here.”

  “Right.” Andrew cleared his throat. “Kara, when you told me you were planning to adopt the baby, I reacted badly, said such hateful things to you, hurt you so damn much.”

  “No joke,” Kara muttered.

  “The thing is,” Andrew continued, “I didn’t know why I lashed out at you the way I did. That why has caused me to just about lose the last thread of my sanity. The things I accused you of simply weren’t true, weren’t how I really felt at all, yet I’d hurled that garbage at you and…It didn’t make sense to me, not even close. But I finally have the answers to what happened when you said you were going to adopt the baby.”

  “Oh?” Kara said, her heart increasing in tempo even more.

  “Kara, at that moment, which I’ve relived a hundred times or more, I felt as though my world was crumbling into dust, leaving me nothing, sentencing me to a lifetime of loneliness, emptiness and…You were so excited about the baby, about being his mother, becoming a family…just the two of you.

  “You didn’t need me, or want me, or love me. You never intended to marry, nor become involved in a serious relationship. You and that boy would have a wonderful life together, I knew that.

  “I lashed out at you from a place I’d been flung to that was raw with pain and loss, and the image of a future that was cold and dark. I loved you so much and you were out of my reach forever. It hurt. God, it hurt, and I raged in fury because of that blinding pain.

  “I’ve untangled the maze in my mind—finally. I even watched you this morning as you left the hospital with the baby to be absolutely certain that I wasn’t mistaken about what I’d discovered about myself.

  “And now? Now, Kara, I don’t know how to make you believe me, how to keep you from thinking that I’m saying all this because I’ve grown to love that baby boy and you are an obstacle to my being his father.”

  Sudden unexpected and unwelcome tears filled Andrew’s eyes, and his voice was choked with emotion when he spoke again.

  “I love you, Kara, with all that I am. That is the honest truth. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t…don’t know what else to say, how to put it to make you believe me. You are my life, my future happiness, my reason for being.

  “And, yes,” he continued, hardly able to speak as tears clogged his throat, “I love that baby boy. I want to be the one to teach him to play ball—not Forrest, or Richard, or…Me. His father. I want to buy him a dog to play with him in the yard of the home we’ll have. I want to rake leaves into piles for our son to romp in with his puppy, and…I love you, Kara, I swear to God I do.”

  Andrew stopped speaking, shook his head and dragged trembling hands down his face.

  Kara stared at Andrew, then drew a wobbly breath. A warmth began to fill her, slowly at first, then rushing like a wild current, consuming her, wrapping itself around her heart, her mind, her very soul.

  “You do,” she said, her voice ringing with awe and wonder. “You really do love me. I know it’s true. I can feel it—” she spread her hands over her heart “—in here, where it’s meant to be. Oh, dear heaven, Andrew, I love you, too.

  “I never dreamed that you…You said you wanted no part of…I was so happy about the baby, but so very sad and lonely at the same time because you were never going to be a part of my life, a part of his life and…Oh, God, Andrew, I love you so much.”

  They moved at the same time, rushing to embrace each other, holding fast, allowing tears to flow unchecked. They rocked back and forth, clinging to each other as though never again to let go.

  Andrew finally gripped Kara’s shoulders and eased her away from him enough so that he could look directly into her tear-filled eyes.

  “You believe me?” he said. “You honestly believe I love you as well as that baby?”

  “Yes. Oh, yes, I do. I’ve freed myself of the past, too, Andrew, just as you have. I didn’t even realize until I met you what a tight hold it had on me, but that’s all behind me now. I believe that you love me, and heaven knows how much I love you.”

  “Oh, man,” Andrew said, his shoulders slumping with relief. “Thank you.” He paused and attempted to get his emotions under control. “Kara MacAllister, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me, stay by my side until death parts us?”

  “I can’t answer that yet,” she said. “There are still things that need to be discussed.”

  “Are you worried because I live in Santa Maria and your medical practice is here?” Andrew said. “I’ve covered all that with the MacAllisters. I’m going to open an office in Ventura, live here and have my business in Santa Maria run by my top man, Harry. I haven’t talked to him about it yet, but I’m certain that he’ll—”

  “No, no, that’s not it,” Kara interrupted, “although it’s nice to hear that where we might live is not going to be a problem.” She paused. “Andrew, I have to know that you realize there might be long-term problems for the baby because he was born addicted to drugs. There’s just no way to know at this point.”

  Andrew framed Kara’s face in his large hands. “He’s our son, Kara. We’ll tackle whatever we have to if and when it comes. Nothing could ever diminish my love for that little guy. Nothing.”

  Kara nodded, unable to speak for a moment as fresh tears filled her eyes.

  “All right,” she finally said. “There’s just one other thing. Andrew, I have chosen to believe you, believe in you, because our love has got to be based on a solid foundation of trust. Without that, we have nothing.”

  Andrew nodded.

  “But there’s something I need to tell you that is separate and apart from that foundation. The proof of what I’m about to say is in that folder over there on the coffee table.”

  “I don’t understand,” Andrew said. “What are you talking about?”

  “In that folder,” Kara went on, “are the legal papers pertaining to the baby’s adoption. Also in there is a copy of the birth certificate that was completed at the hospital this morning and will be properly filed with the State of California.”

  “And?” Andrew said, still confu
sed.

  “I never thought I would be with you again, Andrew, except at family functions where we could keep our distance from each other. Yet I knew how much I loved you, would always love you. I knew what a wonderful man you were, what a fantastic husband and father you would have been if you’d chosen to be.

  “I didn’t care what anyone in the family you might think, might surmise by it, because I felt so strongly about it and I knew I was going to do it.”

  “Do what?”

  “Andrew, even though I said we were to be based on a foundation of trust, this is asking too much of you. I don’t expect you to believe me as it certainly sounds as though I’m making this up as I go along to reinforce my declaration of love for you. I’ll understand, I truly will, that you’ll need to see the proof of what I’m saying in that folder.

  “You are the man I love. The only man I have ever, will ever, love. And so, I named my son after you, even when I thought I would never have my love for you reciprocated. I…I named the baby Andrew Ralph MacAllister.”

  Andrew’s breath caught. His head snapped around and he stared at the file on the coffee table.

  “It’s there in that folder,” Kara said. “The birth certificate showing the baby’s name. Go look at it so you can verify what I’m telling you.”

  Andrew shifted his gaze slowly from the file folder to look directly into Kara’s eyes.

  “I don’t need to see that birth certificate,” he said, his voice raspy. “I believe you, believe in you, just as you said you believed in me. Our foundation of trust is solidly in place. I’m honored that you named the baby after me, Kara, more than I can even begin to tell you. Andrew Ralph MacAllister.” He smiled. “Damn, that’s one fine name for our son. Thank you, my love, thank you so much.” His smile broadened. “Now will you agree to marry me?”

  “Yes!” Kara flung her arms around Andrew’s neck. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, I love you. I adore you. I…Oh, Andrew, I’m so happy I think I’m going to burst. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.”