Harem

by Raven J. Spencer

  “Why? We’ve lived together for nearly two months. You know everything about me, and you have given me more orgasms than any lover I’ve ever had. Why on earth wouldn’t I want you with me?”

  I see the conflicting emotions warring in her expression, and all of a sudden I understand, more than ever before, everything.

  “That too,” I say softly. “We can’t change everything about the circumstances, but we could spend that time together…if you want, that is.”

  “Oh…wow. I’m not sure how to do this. I would love to go on that vacation with you, but I’m not sure I can wait six months.”

  “Why? Do you have any plans? Were you…” Going to leave?

  “I don’t know. Probably not, but even if I was, I can’t decide for both of us. You signed a contract, and I assume…”

  “Don’t assume.” I lay my hand over hers. “I know it’s complicated…but I wish it too, that we could just step away from it all.”

  “I would never ask that of you. You have plans.”

  “What if I changed my plans?”

  “No. Forget I said anything. I’m sorry. Addison likes you already. You will have the time of your life.”

  I remain silent, not because I think she’s right, but because I need to think about what I’m going to say. We leave the café both lost in thought.

  More shopping, a walk on the beach, and we return home for dinner. Home. That’s what it feels like. Will it be the same in Addison’s mansion, in my own rooms or the common areas where women are free to hang out or make out?

  Somehow I doubt it. I’ve been happy. I’m in love, and I believe Elizabeth is too, but there’s nothing we can do about it. Money or love, apparently you can’t have it all. That’s why Addison used her money to build a harem and pays mentors to teach women to cater to her every need.

  “I love you.” I say it again, out of the blue, when we retreat to the living room with a glass of wine after dinner. It bears repeating.

  Elizabeth’s smile is full of melancholy. Maybe we’re a bit tipsy as well. I emptied the rest of the bottle into our glasses earlier.

  “I love you too—and every moment of the journey. I know that you can’t quit, but maybe it’s time for me to move on.”

  “Please, don’t. I’ll come visit you. Hey, I could become a mentor too—there’s no rule against fraternizing, is there?”

  “This is all crazy talk. Let’s just finish this best we can.”

  “Addison will give you two weeks off. I’ll convince her. You know I can do it.”

  “I have no doubt,” she says. The tone of her voice is closer to tears than it is to laughter.

  * * * *

  Addison is not to blame for this mess. I put myself out there, got accepted, and I have done a good job so far. I aim to please. In the darkness of the bedroom, when there’s nothing left between us, I can admit the truth: I want to run away with Elizabeth. I indulge the fantasy when her hands explore my body with the confidence of the skilled familiar lover she is.

  I have never been so open to anyone, body and mind. I am sure she can read me, detect all my conflicts and dreams. Beaches, historical landmarks, another journey together.

  It’s not going to happen, any of it, because she won’t wait for me, and I cannot lose the chance at one million dollars. It’s the jackpot, and I won’t have to work hard for it…but maybe what I stand to lose, can’t offset any amount of money.

  “You are drifting, baby,” she whispers. “I want you right here with me.”

  “Where else would I be?” I moan, a helpless needy sound, as she eases the toy into me. It’s fastened to a harness, its shape causing interesting sensations with each gentle push, distracting me from those other matters swirling around us. Time. Timing. We’ll have to make do with what we have, and that’s pretty amazing.

  “I’ll never forget about you,” I promise, straining against her, urging her to go deeper, faster. I cry out when she complies, so close to completion. I hear her gasp as my fingernails dig into her skin, but I can’t help it, overwhelmed by an incredible high.

  I come to the sobering conclusion—no one else can ever make me feel that way.

  And maybe that was the million dollar prize.

  * * * *

  There’s a phone call, fairly early in the morning. We still lie together, limbs entwined in a romantic tangle. Elizabeth makes an unintelligible but clearly grumpy sound and answers. She sits up in bed, all of a sudden very still.

  Bad news?

  I look at her in alarm, and she makes a dismissive gesture.

  “Yes, I’ll make sure everything is ready. Thanks for the heads-up. Yes, of course. I’ll see you then.”

  After ending the call, she looks lost in thought.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes, very much,” she mumbles, doing nothing to alleviate my concerns.

  “Elizabeth?”

  “It’s fine,” she says curtly, getting up and dressing in a robe. “You should start packing up your personal things. You’ll be moving to the main house tomorrow.”

  “What?”

  Her expression softens, and she leans forward, taking my hands.

  “Don’t worry. It’s true, you’re ready. You did well in every lesson, and there’s nothing more I can teach you. We’ll start after breakfast, and someone will come over to help you.”

  “Someone, when?”

  I can’t help panicking, for more reasons I can deal with at the moment.

  “Tomorrow afternoon, or morning, depending how much time you need.”

  “I didn’t bring much. What are you going to do? Is there someone new coming?”

  “No, not that quickly. I’ll have to wrap up everything with Addison before we can look at new applications.”

  So this is it. It wasn’t a dream after all, my time with Elizabeth, or joining a harem. Considering what I’ve done in the past weeks, I have no reason to freak out like I do, but of course this has nothing to do with new sexual skills I’ve learned.

  Tomorrow. That is too soon.

  “Can’t we wait until next week?”

  “What would it change?” she asks and then turns away abruptly to leave the room.

  What am I going to do?

  I stick to the rules, that’s what I always do. As it is expected of me, I pack up my personal belongings, some that I brought, most of the clothes gifts courtesy of Addison. The boxes are ready by lunchtime. After we eat, Elizabeth does one more guided imagery session for me, all focused on the first time with a new lover.

  I don’t want to hear any of it, losing my concentration a few times, but she doesn’t chastise me. I’m not even sure if she notices.

  She’s gone all afternoon, and I wander around the house, saying goodbye to each memory—

  No.

  I can’t do this.

  I’m in love with Elizabeth, have been for some time now. This is a one in a million chance, and I’m about to give it away. How stupid is that? What else am I waiting for?

  The certainty grows stronger with every minute, now that I dared having the thought.

  Other women have left, in the first week, or later.

  If I remember correctly, there will be some expenses paid for the weeks I wasn’t working. Maybe not enough to stay in Europe for a month or pay off my friends’ mortgage, but it will be enough—because we’ll have everything else.

  I’m starting to get worried.

  Elizabeth isn’t coming home.

  What if something happened to her? From the day I moved in, I’ve never been alone. She’s always been here. What is going on?

  Around eight, there’s a knock on the door. By now, I’m frantic. I can’t call the police, or Addison, or anyone else. Nobody is telling me anything.

  “I’m Isabel,” says the woman when I open the front door to her. “Are you ready? I just got notice that we can move you in tonight.”

  “Why? Where is Elizabeth?”

  “I’m not sure wh
ere she is now, but I spoke to her.” She smiles. “That’s good news. She says you’re ready.”

  I’m not. I’ve never been less ready.

  “I need to talk to her.”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to reach her. You can talk to Addison about it tomorrow. Let’s just do this, okay?”

  Like in a trance, I step aside and pick up one of the boxes, she takes another one. When the trunk of her car is filled, she waits until I sit in the passenger seat and fasten the seatbelt.

  “Seems a little silly, right, a car ride for a distance like that, but it’s definitely faster.” Isabel lays a hand on my arm. “Hey. I know this can be pretty overwhelming at first, that’s why we prefer to do it quick. You’ll adjust in no time.”

  Why did she do that to me? Just leave, not giving me any opportunity to say how I feel?

  Except I did, and nothing I told her was enough to make her think I might be willing to forget about the money. Damn it.

  Still. She didn’t need to bail on me like that. We could have had a few more hours, to talk, to—right, it’s unlikely that we would have done much talking. Probably we would have engaged in pleasant ways to avoid that conversation.

  “It’s just a surprise,” I mutter.

  How will this work out? All of a sudden, I feel out of my depth. It was Elizabeth’s task to get me ready for this moment, and all I want to do is run.

  Will there be another test? Or will I go right to Addison’s—bedroom?

  * * * *

  Dinner is served in my room, and the woman who brings it informs me that Addison will see me for breakfast tomorrow.

  That is still…soon.

  I lie awake that night, resenting Elizabeth for leaving me here alone, resenting myself for letting it—everything—get this far. How could I not think this would get me in trouble one way or another?

  The truth is I was flirting with casual, trying to pretend that could be me, pretending I’m not a hopeless romantic. I think about the many manuals I’ve read, detailed descriptions of what each toy can do for you, then trying out a carefully chosen sample with her. Every once in a while, after week two being entirely dedicated to that purpose, she’d let me touch her, pleasure her—tongue, fingers, the occasional vibrator for external use, but nothing beyond that.

  The memories leave me with a strange mix of arousal and apprehension. It’s Addison I signed up for. She seems nice from what I can tell—of course you can’t get to know a person in one evening, can you? I think back to the moment Elizabeth came to me in the bathroom, on the first night, touching me. If I’m honest, I fell for her right there.

  Nobody cares.

  Not even Elizabeth cares, as it seems, and so I have to figure out a way to get through the next six months before I can head out and buy my ticket. Perhaps I’ll make it a one-way—there’s nothing left here for me.

  For the first time since I met Elizabeth, I cry.

  * * * *

  On my way to Addison’s suite, I walk past another common area. Here, it looks more like an actual harem, with a few modern touches. The women are wearing negligees and robes, some of them enjoying a cup of coffee. No one’s in a hurry, everyone is in a good mood.

  I don’t see Quinn or Sophia. Is either of them with Addison right now? Is that why she’s asking for me? Sex before breakfast wasn’t an unusual occurrence between me and Elizabeth. I am nervous—not necessarily excited in a good way, not even when I see two of the women kissing tenderly. The others glance after me curiously.

  I’m a day early, so perhaps Quinn and Sophia are still with their respective mentors. It’s only Elizabeth who couldn’t wait one more damn day to get rid of me.

  My knock on Addison’s door is a bit harsh, laden with my current emotion. I take a deep breath, willing to calm myself. Not her fault.

  “There you are, excellent. I know we have a few things to cover, but there’s no reason we can’t do it over breakfast.”

  “Isabel told me Elizabeth left.”

  Whoa—I didn’t mean that to be the first thing I’d say.

  “That’s true. I’m sorry I can’t tell you any details, but you’ll be glad to hear that she’s fine and wishes you well.”

  “Okay.”

  The table is set for two, though the food would definitely be enough for more. Addison gestures for me to sit, and I do. She pours coffee for me, then laughs. “You’d think a person builds a harem so she doesn’t have to do anything, right? I can’t help it. I still want to court my women a little bit, know that they are here for more than the money.”

  I blush and quickly reach for a buttery croissant. The jam tastes homemade. I barely managed to eat anything last night, now, I’m hungry.

  “It’s working. This is delicious.”

  I have so many questions, about Elizabeth, where she is, about their relationship, and was leaving really her choice? I’m not exactly sure what’s stopping me. It can’t hurt, though, to get a feel for what the situation is, to get her on my side.

  “I have to admit I’m still not sure how this works. I’ve seen other women here…and for the test, of course. I wonder how you choose.”

  “I try to get to know all of you better. That’s why the questionnaire is so intense. And after that it’s part of the fantasy. That’s all there is to it, don’t you think?”

  “Why me?”

  “I liked you right away. Elizabeth liked you too, and she always makes good choices, so here we are.”

  “Yeah…”

  I really hope she won’t require my services right away. I need time. To think. Whatever good that will do.

  “You are already moved in. You know where everything is?”

  “There was a map in the bedroom, so yes, thank you.”

  Any time now. I hold my breath as she says, “Why don’t you take the time to explore a little bit more? I’d like to see you tonight.” Her smile tells me everything she doesn’t say in words. This is so bad. I shouldn’t lead her on, shouldn’t pretend…Then again, she doesn’t expect anything but my knowledge.

  I can do this.

  I’ll have to.

  It could be so much worse.

  “One more thing,” Addison says. “You’re a little overdressed. As you’ve seen, most of the women like something more comfortable.”

  “Something you can get out of quickly if need be?” I laugh nervously.

  “That too,” she admits.

  After we finish breakfast, Addison sees me to the door of the suite. Before I leave, she embraces me from behind, kissing my neck.

  Relax. She’s entitled to do that. I checked all those boxes. Her hands wander over my breasts, and one of them slides underneath my skirt.

  “I look forward to seeing you tonight,” she whispers.

  “Same here.”

  When did I become such a good actor?

  * * * *

  A mind overwhelmed with stress isn’t open for pleasure, yours or your partner’s. That’s what the constant relaxation training and guided imagery to magical and safe places are for.

  I would dream of walking in the sun, among world-famous ruins, along beaches, hand in hand with her. Come to think of it, the latter was real. I can easily conjure up the sensations, but today, they fail to calm me.

  I feel trapped, and it’s only the first full day.

  I feel guilty too.

  There was no rule, no law that said I couldn’t have been the one to make that first step, insist on daring something new. I had fooled myself into thinking all of this was safe, money, sex, luxury, without getting attached.

  I prepare myself for the evening, stand in front of the mirror naked for a whole minute. I have never been in better shape, daily exercise and a diet that reduced alcohol and sugar to a bare minimum doing the trick. No stress-eating candy, but multiple orgasms instead.

  I should be grateful, right?

  As per Addison’s instructions, I dress in the silk negligee and robe, no underwear. There is some sor
t of excitement after all, nerves fluttering, but it’s not the way I imagined it. I wish the past couple of days had been another test, and Elizabeth would be waiting for me in the master suite. With or without Addison, I don’t care—I want her to be there.

  The fantasy, finally, is what puts me on the right track. It might be bittersweet, but my body doesn’t care much for nuances. It only remembers the pure bliss at Elizabeth’s hands.

  It’s time, and I make my way to Addison’s suite in the soft, comfortable strapless sandals that all the women use here.

  “Robin, come on in. We’ve been waiting for you.”

  My heart skips a beat. It’s not Elizabeth sitting in the armchair, but Sophia. “I think you know each other already.”

  Sophia smiles. “Oh yes. We studied together.”

  Addison in black, Sophia in off-white, they make a stunning couple. Addison’s robe is of a slightly different design. More expensive, too, I imagine, because everything in here is hers—even me and Sophia, for a period of six months at least.

  “Welcome.” Sophia gets up from her chair to walk over to me, and kisses me, deeply. I remember my lessons, but more than that, I have to suspend every notion that this is weird, making out with a woman I barely know in front of another. Then again, I’ve done more than make out with Sophia already, and Addison has been paying for everything I’ve done in the past weeks—no reason to have reservations now.

  I want to get through this best I can, and I don’t want to think of Elizabeth, but that might be the only thing to save me. I kiss Sophia back, place my hands on her waist to pull her closer. Addison steps behind me, kissing my neck like she did the other day. I close my eyes, and the sensations of two pairs of hands on me unite with the images on my mind in a stunning outcome. Maybe I’m just that easy, and love, falling in love, is not meant to be for me.

  Sophia teases and tantalizes, caressing my nipples through the thin fabric of the negligee, kneeling to kiss my stomach while Addison lifts up the garment, working her way further down until she’s tonguing my sex expertly.

  “I know you’re good,” Addison whispers. “Sophia aced all her lessons too. Can you tell why?”

  I have no choice but to lean back against her, which gives Sophia more access in return. Elizabeth did this to me many times, and she enjoyed it too, when I was the one on my knees. I’m trembling, the only answer I can give a moan. I don’t think Addison expected anything else.