The Writer's Romance

by Elsa Kurt

  “Yeah, well—”

  “But she’s also hot-tempered, rude, and demanding. Don’t you think so?”

  “I kind of—”

  “I mean, I guess I did provoke her a little bit. But we made up for it with the video. Right?” Sam said nothing. “I said, right, Sam? Why aren’t you answering me, Sam?”

  “Oh, are you done? Can I speak now?”

  Mitch looked contrite. Yes, he’d gone on a tangent. Katharine Evans seemed to have that effect on him quite often. He let Sam speak, although he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering back to that confounding woman and what she might be doing.

  ***

  While Mitch seethed and stewed about Katharine, she was doing much the same with Tori as they crossed the parking lot to their cars. Tori—much like Sam had done—shrugged. She was unfazed by Katharine’s foul mood. She’d worked with her for the past three years, as well as plenty of other over-sensitive creative types. They sometimes needed to be handled with kid gloves, and different times required a firm hand and a good shove. Tori was adept at all that and more. It also so happened she genuinely liked Katharine Evans. Something not very many people could say. Mostly because they never got a chance to know her, though.

  “I’m not touchy,” Katharine pouted, then calmed. “Okay, fine. Maybe a little bit, sorry. How about I treat you to lunch? There’s a great Thai place near my house.”

  “Ah, what a surprise. You, picking a spot close to home? I’m teasing you, that sounds great. I’ll follow you there.”

  Less than thirty minutes later Katharine pulled into the parking lot of Po’s Rice and Spice, trailed by Tori. When they climbed out of their respective cars, Tori’s expression was dubious as she read the sign.

  “Po’s Rice and Spice, huh?”

  “Yup, best Lemongrass Chicken ever.”

  “Wow, Katharine Evans goes out to eat?”

  “No, silly. I get take out. This is the first time I’ve ever dined in.” They walked through the door. “Ooh, it’s so pretty,” said Katharine.

  “See what happens when you get out of your bubble occasionally?”

  Katharine looked around the bright, contemporary Asian décor and smiled. It was the first real smile Tori had seen on her that day. They were seated at a corner table, overlooking the quaint, historic street. The waitress set two menus before them.

  “Can I offer you a beverage? Glass of wine, perhaps?”

  “A bottle,” they both said simultaneously.

  The two women laughed as the waitress disappeared. Tori was dying to broach the subject of Mitch Ford, as well as the viral gif, and the next appearance she’d booked for Katharine, but realized all might be best addressed after she’d had some wine. No one hated book promoting appearances more than Katharine seemed to. Once the glasses were poured and lunches ordered, Tori toed her way into the easiest of the three topics.

  “So, Katharine, my love…”

  “Oh, no. Anytime you call me, ‘Katharine, my love’ it’s never good.”

  “Now, now. Settle down. Drink your wine. There you go. Let’s discuss your next appearance, shall we?”

  Katharine groaned and nodded into her wine glass.

  “That a girl. We—are you ready for it—we are going to put you on…. wait for it… The Up All-Night Show!”

  Katharine blinked at Tori as if she had two heads.

  “Stop that. I know you’ve heard of the Up All Night Show.”

  “I—yes, of course, I’ve heard of it. I just can’t fathom why you’d think it’s a good idea to put me on it. Can’t we keep doing the little bookstores and author conventions? I’ve gotten used to those, you know.”

  “Katharine, it’s going to be fun! A great opportunity, too. So, don’t flake out on me now.”

  “Tori, you saw today’s fiasco. I looked like a deer in headlights. I could barely get a sentence out.”

  “Now, that’s not true, Katharine. When you spoke about Nate and the foundation? Oh, my word, they were eating out of your hand. Plus, the camera loves you. A lot. Speaking of that… we may want to work a little bit on—how shall I say—your poker face.”

  “My… poker face?”

  “Yes. You have a, uh, well, transparency to your feelings. An expressive face, you could say.”

  Katharine blanched visibly, proving Tori’s point. Tori averted her eyes and fidgeted with her earring.

  “What, Tori. What are you not telling me?”

  “I think, maybe, it’s best if I show you. But first, let me remind you—any publicity is good publicity, right?”

  Tori eked out a nervous laugh as she slid her cell phone across the table to Katharine. Katharine’s brow squished together, then her eyes went wide with dismay.

  “Wh—what is this…oh, my God. You’re kidding me? Is this—can other people see this?”

  “Oh, honey, yes. Yes, they can, and they have. Twenty-five thousand times and counting. Don’t worry, it’ll get replaced by something else in a hot minute. You’ll see.”

  Katharine couldn’t take her eyes off the small screen. More specifically, she couldn’t stop looking in horror at her close-up eye roll on repeat.

  “I can’t—this is…”

  “Katharine! Stop looking at it. Let it go, girl. At least more people will know who you are now, right?”

  “Uh, yeah, they’ll know me as the awful woman who rolls her eyes at the man America loves, and who laughs at him when he falls. Ugh, that is just like him, too. He tried to play it off as, like, ‘hey I’m Mr. Self-Deprecating. Oh, look at me, I’m so charming and affable and cute. Aww, shucks, I’m a good ole boy—”

  “Uh, Katharine?”

  Tori had dropped her chin and cocked her eyebrow at Katharine. Katharine’s mouth opened, then snapped shut again. She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest and looked away, her small jaw thrust out with a defiant air. Tori waited.

  “What?”

  “Cute, huh? He is more than cute, he’s, like, on the fast track to becoming a national treasure. And he is sweet on you, girl.”

  “Sweet? On me? Um, no, definitely not. He is trying to ruin my life. He’s Enemy Number One. That’s who he is. And to think—he nearly had me fooled for a minute, there. I almost believed he was trying to protect me from embarrassment. This is all some kind of set up, or a publicity stunt, or—”

  “Okay, Katharine, maybe you could try to include me in this monologue you’re having, and we can turn it into a conversation. You know, that thing people do with one another? How about you tell me what’s really going on here, hmm?”

  Katharine closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. After downing her wine and refilling the glass, she told Tori almost the entire story. When she finally finished, Tori sat back and let out a low whistle. She appraised her reclusive client with a new eye.

  “Katharine Evans, you are just a cute little volcano, ready to erupt, aren’t you?”

  “I am not,” she muttered with a petulant tone.

  The waitress arrived with their check and Katharine reached for it.

  “Oh, no. This one is on me, girl. When you come out to my neck of the woods next week, you can treat. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  Tori paid their tab and as they walked to the door, she said, “Good. Now, why don’t we do a little shopping before I head back to the city?”

  Katharine hesitated, but Tori laughed and gave her arm a tug. The duo strolled arm in arm out of the restaurant and onto the side street. Next to Po’s was one of the many old historical buildings that stood in close formation along the winding street.

  “What’s going on here?” Its wide front steps and oversized display windows caught Tori’s eye.

  “Oh, well, according to the local paper it’s been recently bought and newly renovated. I think a boutique and maybe an art gallery are going in? I’m not sure if they’ve filled the leases yet.”

  “Oh, Katharine. We really need to get you out into your community. Look
, I bet that’s the owner over there.”

  Tori smirked to herself. She knew it was pure torture for Katharine to get out and ‘people’ as she called it, but she was on a mission. I am going to get this girl out in the land of the living, even if it kills me. She glanced at Katharine, shuffling reluctantly behind her. Or I kill her.

  TEN

  CROWD CONTROL

  Katharine sighed for the millionth time that day. Tori had a knack for conversing with anyone, anywhere, about anything. It was what made her such a good publicist. By the time Katharine caught up with her and the blonde woman at the front of the building, Tori had the whole story of the place.

  “Katharine, this is Sheri. Sheri, Katharine.” To Katharine, Tori said, “Did you know this was once an opera house?”

  “Ah, nope. No idea,” Katharine smiled politely.

  “That’s right,” said the woman. “Siebert’s Opera House, it was. Now it’s going to be a mix of retail and residential, so if you know of anyone looking to rent or lease, come see me.”

  “Hmm, you know what?” said Tori, “I think I have a couple ideas. Let me have your number, Sheri, and I’ll get back to you.”

  They said their goodbyes to Sheri and strolled on. Katharine couldn’t imagine what ideas Tori might have about the space, but then again, she really didn’t know much about Tori at all. The realization filled her with chagrin. In all the time they’d known each other, had Katharine ever asked her anything about her personal life? She knew the answer, of course.

  “Tori? Am I the most self-involved person you’ve ever met?”

  “You? Nah, you’re like, eight on the list.”

  Katharine threw her head back and yelled at the mid-day, late summer sky. “I am an awful human being!”

  “Oh, stop. You’re no worse than anyone else trying to get by in the world. We’re all self-involved, honey. Just to different degrees. At least you live, like, an authentic life. You stay true to you. That’s a good thing.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m starting to realize maybe I’ve been a bit too true to myself. I’m getting tired of…me. Does that make any sense?”

  “Yeah, sure. I get it. Too much of anything isn’t good. Listen, I think the book tour will be good for you. You branch out, get out of your shell…”

  “Wait. Book tour? You didn’t mention a book tour.” Katharine wasn’t sure if it was heartburn rising in her throat, or panic. Perhaps it was both.

  “Katharine, did you not read the email I sent you?”

  Katharine had to think. No, she only half-read it. The half that talked about the Connecticut Today segment. The more she thought about it, she vaguely recalled a bunch of dates below the body of the message.

  “No, yeah. Right, I know, I know.” She didn’t sound convincing, even to her own ears.

  “Go back and read it, Katharine. Twelve dates, all New England. Four of them are in the city so you can crash at my place. Unless all your weird people-phobias won’t let you cohabitate with others or something.”

  Katharine swatted Tori’s arm playfully and thanked her for the offer. Then her face lit up with a sudden idea. “Oh, my God. Tori! Say you can come to my house this Saturday? Please? I’m throwing a—a party and well, I need actual guests to show up. Please say yes, please?”

  “Oh, my Lord, somebody catch me, I’m about to faint! Katharine Evans is having a party? And you are asking me to come? As a… friend?”

  Tori pretended to fan herself with her hand. Katharine ignored her and explained how her impromptu party came about. When she finished, Tori shook her head at her in disbelief.

  “So, you’ve lived next door to these people for six years, and you never spoke to them? Not even once?”

  “I think I might have called out over the bushes once. Okay, maybe ‘called out’ isn’t exactly the right word. It was more like… shouted. About their cat.”

  Tori’s infamous arched brow was enough to pull a full confession. “Alright, so I may have yelled over the bushes that if their cat…did his business in my garden one more time, I would call Animal Control on them for animal neglect.”

  “Wow, Katharine. You really know how to make an impression, don’t you? Clearly, you need some help turning your image around. Lucky for you, you have a professional in your corner.”

  “So, does that mean you’ll come?”

  “Yes, I will come to your sad little soiree. Can I bring a date?”

  “Of course! The more bodies, the better.”

  “Okay, but remember you said that, you hear?”

  Katharine was too relieved and grateful to question her. Continuing their stroll, Katharine instead asked Tori about her life and background. Though she looked surprised by this new and improved Katharine Evans, Tori seemed happy to oblige. After they walked Main Street, they returned to Po’s parking lot and said their farewells.

  “Well, thanks again for being there today. And for talking me off the ledge. And…”

  “Oh, enough with the thank you’s, girl. We are all good. I’ll see you Saturday, and I’ll bring my famous shrimp dip.”

  “Perfect. Thank—right, you know. Oh, and here’s your scarf back. You were a lifesaver, you know.”

  Katharine gave Tori an awkward hug. Well, look at me, Katharine Evans, hugger of people. Another first. I’ll be Up All-Night Show ready in no time. Yeah, right.

  Katharine climbed into her sweltering hot car, cursing the black leather seats. She rolled all the windows down, cranked the air conditioning and pulled out of Po’s with one last wave to Tori. On her short drive home, Katharine replayed the day's events. From the powder staining her blouse to the moment she locked eyes—and horns—with Mitch Ford, to the horrible interview. Lastly, to the embarrassing ‘viral gif.’

  What a day.

  But was it really all so bad? She had begun to nurture her first friendship aside from her brother. She got the word out about Nate’s foundation. She got to see Mitch Ford in his faded denim again. Katharine’s foot pressed her brake a little too hard on the unbidden image of Mitch. Oh, no you don’t, Katharine Evans. You stop thinking about him right now. He is a creep. A creep with bottomless blue eyes and a sexy voice and…

  The loud blast of a car horn behind her jolted her from the images turning her insides mushy. The stoplight had turned green, yet she’d sat there staring into space. Mooning over a guy she half wanted to strangle. She waved her hand in the rearview mirror and said ‘sorry’ as if they could hear her. As she wove her way along the twisting side streets—once again thankful for her small size of her chocolate brown, white-striped Mini Cooper—Katharine vowed not to give Mitch Ford another thought. But when she pulled onto her narrow road, she had no choice but to acknowledge the existence of the man hell-bent on ruining her life.

  That might be a bit of an exaggeration, hmm? She pursed her lips against the tiny voice of reason attempting to wiggle its way into her consciousness. One look at her ordinarily quiet street was enough to convince her he was indeed trying to ruin her life. Along one side of the road, for as far as she could see, news vans and rubber-neckers impeded her way. A uniformed police officer directed traffic. It was a full ten minutes before she could get close enough to ask through her rolled down window what the holdup was. As if she couldn’t guess.

  “Sorry, ma’am. Do you live on this… oh, hey! You’re the lady from this morning’s Connecticut Today show! My wife said it was the best laugh of her day.”

  “Well. That is… great. I’m so glad. Now, can I please get to my house?”

  “What? Oh, yeah, sure. The show really amped up the interest in the area, so it’s gonna be a bit hairy out here until Mitch Ford is done taping. Makes it worse that this is a dead-end street, you know? Lots of gawkers and news crews who want an exclusive. But I bet you get all the inside track, don’t you?”

  The police officer grinned and winked knowingly. Then—seeing Katharine’s murderous expression—waved her on her way. Several carloads of gawkers with their cell phones
congested the street. Men and women with too-perfect hair and makeup leaned against their vans drinking coffee and looking bored. Until they caught sight of Katharine, that is. Her window was still rolled down, and her name was being called out by several unfamiliar voices.

  “Hey, isn’t that the Evans woman?”

  “Yeah, hey, it is! Get a camera on her, quick.”

  In an instant, Katharine’s little brown Mini Cooper had a swarm of cameras surrounding it. Men with stiff side parts and women with shellacked helmet hair thrust microphones through her window and in her face.

  “Katharine, are you and Mitch Ford dating?”

  “Miss Evans, do you really hate Mitch Ford or is that an act?”

  “Hey, Mrs. Evans, do you plan on—”

  “It’s Miss Evans,” she shouted over them, “and get out of my way!”

  Katharine honked her horn several times for emphasis. No one moved. Then, over the din, the sharp whine of a bullhorn sounded, followed by the unmistakable rumble of Mitch Ford’s authoritative voice.

  “Alright, folks! The show’s this way! How about you let the lady through. That’s right, can’t be upsetting the natives, now can we?”

  He chuckled, and they all followed suit, like adoring minions. He took slow steps backward, and they followed. Katharine muttered under her breath, “Thanks, Pied Piper,” and moved past the row of backs as the clamored for Mitch’s attention. He had them rapt, Katharine quickly forgotten. Their eyes met over the crowd, and Mitch tipped his hat as she passed. Katharine turned away, but not before shooting him a loathsome glare. He laughed into the bullhorn.

  A moment later, Katharine pulled into her long driveway. The safety of her little bungalow—tucked into its curtain of bushes and trees—beckoned her, and she sighed. She had more than fulfilled her ‘peopling’ quota for the day. She climbed wearily from her car and headed straight for the protection of home. Relief coursed through her as she cleared the porch steps—no reporters had tried to follow her. A self-satisfied grin spread across Katharine’s face. Then, a woman’s voice called out from behind her. Katharine steeled herself for the onslaught of invasive reporter questions.