Diary of an Angel

by Michael M. Farnsworth

  “Those hideous monsters never stop licking their chops. They’d love nothing better than for us to leave Angela alone for a few hours. Well, she’s all yours. See you tonight.”

  There was a puff of light, and Lina was gone.

  “Perfect timing,” Clairus said, turning her attention back to Angela. “She’s waking up.”

  That morning and afternoon was a whirlwind of emotions for me. It was difficult for me to remember that Angela and her family couldn’t see or hear us. I kept saying excuse me, or whispering when I didn’t need to, or hesitating to stand close to Angela. What frazzled me even more was my ability to hear all of Angela’s thoughts. There was no end to it. They just kept flowing in one continuous, disheveled stream. It was supposed to be a major part of my job to influence those thoughts for good? That might have been a trivial task, if it weren’t for the television, or Justin and Kailey fighting, or the devils wreaking havoc every chance they got. Many times throughout that first day I was grateful for the support of Clairus and the other angels.

  Despite my state of shock, most of the day passed by with few troubles. It wasn’t until that evening that I got my first real taste of being a guardian angel. Angela was busy in the kitchen preparing supper. Kailey was off playing, somewhere—not bothering Angela—and she was rather content with that. Angela had the radio on, blaring a dance-inducing song about...who knows what? But Angela enjoyed it, swung her hips in time to the music as she prepared dough for rolls. A picture of contentment!

  “Pardon me, ladies,” came an unexpected voice from behind. I turned to find Soren. He bowed his head briefly, but ever so formally. “I’ve just been with Viana. Kailey is about to climb the large oak tree in the backyard. And Viana has been unsuccessful at deterring her. Kailey will fall if she is not stopped.” With that he bowed again and vanished from sight.

  Clairus shook her head reproachfully. “That Kailey’s always up to trouble...This ought to be interesting.”

  “Interesting! Kailey falling from a tree is hardly what I would call interesting.”

  “Well, you’d better stop her, then,” she replied calmly.

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you. You’re the guardian angel, not me.”

  “But what if I mess up? Maybe you should handle this one.”

  Clairus took me by the shoulders and moved me closer to Angela.

  “You won’t mess up; it’s not in the program. Now, get moving.”

  Couldn’t we have started with something less dramatic? A stubbed toe or splinter would not have sufficed? Angela’s youngest daughter was about to fall from a tree and break her neck, and somehow I had to convince Angela to stop having fun and go check on her daughter―and quickly. My heart thundered in my chest. I placed my hand on Angela’s shoulder, taking a deep breath to calm myself. Then I spoke to her, not for her ears to hear, but for her soul. “Angela, you need to check on Kailey.” I waited for a moment for a response. The message percolated into her brain, where it was instantly ejected. I attempted again, more earnestly. This time she paused her dancing, letting the thought linger for a moment. My spirits rose. It looked as though she received the message. Then he stepped in.

  Still hiding in the corner, he slung one of his most potent weapons at her. Doubt. It clouded her brain, assured her she did not need to check on her daughter. She was simply acting paranoid. At that moment, I really wished he would take a smoking break or something. Couldn’t he go bother a stray dog or some pigs? But he knew―all too well―the importance of each battle. I tried again. Nothing.

  I looked at Clairus imploringly.

  Clairus shook her head. “Don’t look at me, she’s your mortal.”

  “But she’s not listening.”

  “Mortals are good at that. Just keep at it.”

  I took another deep breath and squeezed Angela’s shoulders between my hands. “Angela, check on Kailey!” She hesitated. “You need to check on Kailey.” More hesitation. “Do you know what Kailey is doing?” I continued to persist until she finally relented. Wiping her hands on her apron, she made for the back of the house. Frustrated, the devil continued to attack her with distractions and doubts. To my great relief, though, Angela remained on course. Clairus and I followed close behind her, whispering words of encouragement.

  Angela reached the back door and opened it. She needed only a second to discover Kailey, beginning to scale the large oak. Kailey had managed to shimmy her way up to the lowest branch, on which she teetered precariously. Next to her on the branch, doing what she could to keep Kailey from falling, was Viana.

  “Kailey! Get down from there. You’ll fall,” Angela shouted.

  “No I won’t,” insisted the six-year-old.

  “Kailey Anne, you get down or you’re grounded!”

  Kailey made one last wistful glance up the tree she had planned to conquer, then started working her way back to the ground. Angela hurried over to help her. Once she had Kailey safely back on the ground, Angela gave her a big bear hug, followed by a vigorous pat on her bottom. “You’re much too small to be climbing trees, sweetheart.”

  Kailey didn’t protest, but rolled her eyes and offered an exacerbated “OK” before running off to ride her bicycle. Viana smiled and waved at us as she chased after her.

  “Well, that was a little tougher than I thought it would be,” I said.

  “That’s just the tip of the iceberg, kid.” Clairus replied, patting me on the back. “You did well, though.”

  Angela finished preparing the rest of the meal in silence. Jack’s beat-up Ford truck rumbled into the driveway at half past five. Angela was putting the finishing touches on supper, while attempting to get any of her children to help set the table. Kailey had run off to a friend’s house without permission. Justin lounged on the couch, utterly enthralled by his latest video game. Catherine was locked in her room, glued to her computer, where she kept the whole world abreast of her every thought and action, and gobbled up the gobs of gossip about who’s dating whom and who broke up with whom.

  With our help, Angela suppressed an urge to cut the cord of every T.V., computer, and video-game console, and then to flush a certain teenaged daughter’s cell-phone down the toilet—I didn’t entirely think that was a bad idea.

  Jack entered the kitchen through the back door. A tall, dark, bristled-faced man with large muscles and deep brown eyes. Lyra wasn’t kidding—he was a hunk. Glaven came trailing behind. I wasn’t sure what to expect from Jack’s homecoming. He greeted Angela half-heartedly, then went to the living room to relax in his chair.

  “Can’t I get someone to help me around here!” she grumbled to herself, beginning to feel a surge of anger. “Justin, turn off that stupid video game and come set the table before I microwave your Xbox for dinner!”

  Despite her earnest threats, Justin made only a nominal response. With some more prodding from Avin, he eventually came to help, though too late to do anything useful.

  Jack remained camped-out in his chair until Angela called everyone for supper. Kailey, somehow, magically appeared. Perhaps feeling some hunger pains. Perhaps the work of Viana. Catherine, though, was still oblivious to the world outside her room. Angela sighed and sent Justin to retrieve her. A mission he accepted all too eagerly.

  A few moments later a scream rang out through the house. “Get out, moron!” Then a door slammed. A second later Justin came scampering back to the table, a silly grin plastered to his face. “Justin, what did you do to your sister?” Angela asked, not really wanting to know.

  “Nothing,” he replied, with feigned innocence.

  Catherine stormed in just as he spoke. “I want that little creep to stay out of my room!”

  “Mom told me―”

  “I don’t care!”

  “Hey, calm down you two,” Angela said.

  Catherine made a “Humph!” sound and plopped down indignantly into her chair. Jack, who had kept rather stoic through all this bowed his head and offered a quick obligatory blessing o
n the food.

  You might think that five angels gathered around a dining room table would—if nothing else—inspire good table manners and cordiality. I thought it would. But I was quite mistaken. Jack ate in silence, scarcely acknowledging the presence of his family. Angela said little more, save to curb the constant chatter of Kailey, who couldn’t praise the neighbor’s new Barbie collection enough, or to stop Justin from teasing Catherine. At one point, Justin catapulted a spoon-full of mashed potatoes at Catherine, hitting her square on the forehead. It was all Angela and Loreli could do to prevent Catherine from mutilating Justin. Infuriated, Catherine stormed from the table, but not before shooting Justin a look of unadulterated loathing.

  Justin simply smiled back, a big toothy grin.

  With Catherine gone, the dinner table lost its appeal for Justin, who left to resume his video-game. Next, Kailey scampered off, leaving Jack and Angela sitting at the table. After a moment’s silence, Jack rose, walked over and put his plate in sink, and exited through the back door, leaving Angela to clean up the rest.

  “It appears,” I said, “that the enemy won dinner.”

  IV

  THE ACCOUNTING

  Most of the dinner-time drama died away after Angela sent Justin and Kailey to their rooms. Save for the occasional sound of a ball bouncing against Justin’s bedroom wall, the house remained calm and quiet.

  Angela washed dishes and folded clothes. Then she plopped on the couch to watch the evening news. After that she made herself ready for bed, and fell asleep reading a book.

  As soon as Angela was out, Clairus tugged my arm. “Time to return.”

  A bit saddened and disappointed that I hadn’t quite saved the world that day, I agreed, and Clairus called us home.

  I experienced the same sensation of traveling rapidly through space, except I sensed Him growing ever closer, the light increasing. Brightness. We were back in the room, the transportation terminal, with the portal behind us. Anawin and Glendor were waiting for us. I almost collapsed into Anawin’s arms, as I drank in deep gulps of heaven’s breath. It felt incredible to be back.

  “You did a wonderful job,” she said. I truly believed she meant it. Although, I doubted that I actually had helped anything. “Don’t worry,” she said, seeming to read my thoughts, “you’ve done more good than you know. We’ll talk more about what happened tomorrow. I want you to go rest now.”

  * * *

  Another heavenly morning greeted me with touches of playful sunlight. I smiled, feeling perfectly content. Sleeping in heaven does marvelous things. It’s not at all like sleeping on earth, with a weak mortal body. No grogginess or morning drowsiness. Sleep here is more like meditation; there’s no subconsciousness or unconsciousness involved. No strange incomprehensible dreams.

  Nights aren’t the same either. You might think day always reigns in heaven, that the sun never sets. Well, the Light always shines, but we still have day and night. Not as mortals know them. Though the physical brightness of the nights here decreases, nothing of darkness pervades. We enjoy all the beauty and peacefulness of night-time: the brilliant stars and moon; the movements of the far-off galaxies; the wondrous shadows, with their depth and shape. But without the obscurity of darkness.

  My thoughts and meditations since I returned from earth centered on Angela. Admittedly, I felt no eagerness to go back to earth. But I did wish to see Angela again. I quickly dressed, donning robe and mantle, grabbed my Communicator, turning it over a few times before slipping it into my pocket, then headed to work.

  I met Dana along the way.

  “So, is the Prince of Likes-a-stain everything you thought he would be?” I asked, feeling perfectly confident that she didn’t get assigned to him.

  “I’m sorry, did you say something?” she replied with feigned irritation.

  “You heard me.”

  Dana didn’t respond, but kept tromping along, pretending to be upset.

  “So, is she cute?” I asked after a moment’s silence.

  Her face instantly brightened. “Forenica! She is the most adorable thing in the universe!” she exclaimed. Then added with a sly grin, “way cuter than any prince, for sure.”

  She went on like that, raving about the little newborn she was assigned to guard, for several minutes. I knew Dana to be almost always animated and excited, but I’d never seen her so ecstatic before. From hearing her talk you might have thought she was the baby’s own mother.

  “Well, enough about me,” she said, at last finishing her monologue, “let’s hear about your little bundle of joy.”

  I’d been waiting for this. Dana had no idea about Angela, about my unexpected and exceedingly rare assignment.

  “Well, my little ‘bundle of joy’ is about five-six, and a hundred and thirty pounds.”

  Dana looked at me as if she thought I was crazy. “Um...fix-six, as in five feet, six inches tall?”

  “That’s right,” I said with a smile.

  “So...what...is she supposed to be the world’s largest baby or something? Is her mother OK? Maybe she’s a giant too?”

  “She’s not a baby, Dana.”

  “What?”

  “She’s an adult.”

  Dana looked at me with a puzzled expression. “You mean—”

  “Her angel was reassigned? Yes, that’s what Lyra told me.”

  “Wow! Wait till I tell my uncle about this. Did she tell you why her angel was reassigned?”

  I shook my head and recounted all that Lyra had told me.

  “Well, Miss Forenica,” Dana said when I had finished, “it sounds like something special is in store for you. Though, I can’t say I envy you. Babies can only get into so much trouble.”

  I gave her a playful shove. “Thanks for your encouragement.”

  We were soon back at Angel Command. Once again, the magic doors separated us, so I stood, alone, in the same foyer as before. I wondered if I would be able to walk through the wall by myself. Was it a particular spot on the wall? Anawin had not given me instructions for returning. I half expected her to pop-up behind me out of nowhere again.

  I decided to give the wall a try. Locating as best I could remember the spot, I proceed to walk toward the wall. With a fair bit of confidence I leaned slightly forward, as if charging a castle gate, my head the battering ram. My confidence proved of little worth, for I collided with the wall and mashed my face against it.

  The sound of laughter immediately followed my collision. I turned to find Clairus doubled over in laughter. “Sorry,” she said between laughs, “but that was funny!”

  “How about we try the door this time?” she suggested, pointing to the adjacent wall.

  “What door?”

  I looked over at the previously blank wall. Sure enough, in the exact center of the wall I saw the faint outline of a single-entry door.

  “Was that there yesterday?”

  “Yes and no,” was all she replied. “Come on, it’s time for your accounting.”

  With that she took my hand and pulled me through the elusive door. Though we entered through a different way, I still expected to see the great room on the other side. Instead, we came into a much smaller room made up almost entirely of windows. The expansive windows on the far end of the room commanded a stunning panorama of flower-dusted valleys, sweeping woodlands, winding rivers, and the far-off misted mountains. The same windows rose high above the floor, before sloping inward to form a glass ceiling above our heads. An assortment of potted plants lay about, especially around a huddle of armchairs located in the center of the room.

  Clairus invited me to sit on one of the armchairs. “This is our conservatory,” she explained. “We hold our accountings here. But you may come anytime you need to ponder—provided you can find it without running into anymore walls.” I ignored this little gibe. “That door over there leads to the gardens. It’s a very good place to meditate.”

  “Good morning, Forenica,” came Anawin’s familiar voice. She had popped-up again—o
ut of nowhere, it seemed. “I picked up Angela’s book. I like to have them during these little discussions.”

  One by one, the others entered the room and took their seats beside Anawin and me. Glendor came last.

  “Well, Forenica,” he said, “congratulations on your first day on the job! How do you think it went?”

  “Well, it wasn’t quite what I expected it would be,” I admitted.

  Glendor chuckled. “That’s good. I would have been worried if you weren’t a little shocked.”

  “We all know how you feel, Forenica,” added Loreli. “All of a sudden you’re torn from heaven and back on earth—which isn’t at all how you remembered it. You’re thrown into this battle against hell’s minions, which turns out to be much harder than it ought. And all the while you’re wondering if you’re really meant to do this. Does that sound about right?”

  “I suppose it does,” I said. “It’s difficult to express how I feel—so many thoughts filled my brain yesterday. Mostly I think I’m disappointed I didn’t seem to be much help to Angela.”

  “You did more good than you realize, dear,” said Anawin.

  “But she hardly listened to me.”

  “Yes, that is true. But that is not your fault. Angela is the only one who can decide what voice she heeds.”

  “I know, but...I...I guess I expected to feel like I was making a difference.”

  “Forenica, I’d hate to see what would happen down there without angels like you. Besides, I’m confident you made a difference when you convinced Angela to stop Kailey from climbing that tree. That was a victory, child. And in the future, you should rejoice on such occasions. For any time your Angela heeds heaven’s voice over hell’s, she grows closer to us.”