The Earl's Regret_Regency Romance

by Joyce Alec

  “Chin up, eyes front, and for heaven’s sake, smile!”

  Elizabeth bit her lip and tried desperately to hold back the retort that sprang to her lips. This was her first Season, and she was well aware that she was very late to be having her come out. It could not be helped, of course, for her father had been terribly ill whilst overseas and all thoughts of the Season had gone from her mind entirely until he was well and back home again.

  And, just as her mother reminded her almost repeatedly, it did not particularly matter that she was something of a late bloomer, for she did not need to go in search of a husband. That particular matter had already been settled.

  Setting her shoulders, Elizabeth looked straight ahead and descended the stairs with her mother alongside her. This was her very first ball, and whilst she was very excited, she was also equally terrified. There was little doubt that her betrothed, Luke, Earl of Mallon, would be present, and of course, that he would claim her for a dance or two. Given that she had not seen him in many years, Elizabeth was already feeling quite anxious over their meeting, wondering whether or not she might be able to recognize him.

  Her memory of him was poor, remembering only a young boy with a shock of dark hair. She had been so young and had not seen him since that night when they had been introduced. Of course, their respective fathers had enjoyed many meetings over the years, but Luke had been enrolled at Eton, and so she had never laid eyes on him again. There had been that time he had come to call upon her, but she had been unable to admit him, caught up in her father’s illness.

  “Elizabeth, you are not smiling.”

  “Sorry, Mama,” Elizabeth replied at once, pasting a gentle smile on her lips and hoping that she had not made a bad impression on those watching them descend. Her father had gone immediately to the card room, declaring that it was the only reason he had attended the ball in the first place, which left Elizabeth and her mother to delve into the fray alone.

  “Ah, my dear countess!”

  Elizabeth stood quietly, as her mother embraced an older lady, who upon introduction turned out to be Viscountess Montague—a very old friend of her mother’s.

  “And is this your daughter?” Lady Montague exclaimed, taking Elizabeth’s hand for a moment. “Delighted to meet you. And may I say just how lovely you look. That gown suits your coloring perfectly.”

  Elizabeth smiled and thanked her, aware of her mother’s triumphant look. The gown and the shade of blue that had been chosen had all been her mother’s decision, even though Elizabeth had protested that the blue did not quite match her brown hair and hazel eyes. Of course, her mother had been proven right it seemed, and she was now quite delighted with herself.

  “You are very kind, Lady Montague,” Elizabeth’s mother said, clapping her hands together. “Now, would you do me another kindness and introduce my daughter to anyone you think she ought to know? This is our first time in London, and I confess that our acquaintance is sorely lacking.”

  “That is to be expected, given that you were so long away,” Lady Montague said at once, beckoning someone over towards them. “And is your husband’s health improved?”

  “Vastly,” came the reply, and as Elizabeth nodded and smiled some more, she saw a young lady coming towards them, her own gown a similar shade to Elizabeth’s one.

  “This is my daughter, Miss Hetty Caldwell,” Lady Montague introduced, as the girls curtsied to one another. “Hetty, take Lady Elizabeth under your wing, will you? She needs to become acquainted with everyone!”

  Much to Elizabeth’s surprise, her mother then linked arms with Lady Montague and wandered away from Elizabeth, leaving her alone with Miss Caldwell.

  “So, we are to be friends, it seems,” Miss Caldwell smiled, with a shake of her head. “My mother has been talking about seeing your mother for some time, ever since she heard that you were to be coming to London for the Season! I will be delighted to introduce you to as many people as I can.”

  Elizabeth returned Miss Caldwell’s smile. “You are very kind, thank you. I will not try to hinder you this evening.”

  “Hinder me?” Miss Caldwell laughed. “No, indeed, I am very glad to be able to help you. I think we shall become bosom friends, just as our own dear mothers are.”

  Miss Caldwell was around the same height as Elizabeth, with fair hair and deep green eyes, which were currently filled with good humor. She had a willowy figure and seemed to sway when she moved, making Elizabeth feel rather heavy footed as they began to make their way through the crowd.

  “Now, let me introduce you to Lord Starling,” Miss Caldwell began, coming to stand beside one particular gentleman, who was deep in discussion with another. “And Lord Blackwood, although he is as dark in character as his name suggests.”

  Elizabeth greeted them both cordially, rather surprised to see Lord Blackwood’s dark eyes linger on Miss Caldwell, as a small smile touched his lips. Was there something between them? Had Miss Caldwell simply been flirting with him? Elizabeth had no experience of such things and was a little taken aback at how obvious Miss Caldwell was being.

  She did not have time to be surprised for long, however, for a great many more introductions were made. Within a few minutes, she found herself out on the dance floor with Lord Starling, with plenty of other dances promised to others.

  After what had been a rather intimidating start, Elizabeth found herself quite enjoying the ball and all it had to offer her. She forgot entirely about seeing Lord Mallon, laughing and chatting with her new acquaintances. Her dance card was quickly filled, and after a few hours had passed, Elizabeth found herself growing rather tired.

  “I shall give you a small piece of advice,” Miss Caldwell said quietly, as they took their glasses from the table and sipped at them. “If one gets fagged—which is quite likely to happen on most occasions—then there are two places one might go. The balcony,” she continued, gesturing towards it with her glass, “although you must ensure to be seen at all times so that no particular rumor can be spread.”

  “And the second?” Elizabeth asked, taking everything in as she tried desperately to cool down.

  “The second is the gardens,” Miss Caldwell replied, with a wiggle of her eyebrows. “Most ballrooms will have a door to the gardens which is thrown open once the dancing is in full swing. However, I would not advise you to go out there alone, nor without a chaperone. Not unless you wish to be alone with someone, you understand.”

  Elizabeth felt her cheeks burn. “Yes, I quite understand,” she mumbled, her thoughts suddenly turning back to Lord Mallon. “I doubt that it would be a particularly wise to do such a thing.”

  Miss Caldwell laughed and tossed her head. “But doing the right thing is not always very fun, my dear Lady Elizabeth!”

  Frowning slightly, Elizabeth tried to understand what her new friend meant, only to be interrupted by Lord Blackwood.

  “Lady Elizabeth, Miss Caldwell,” he intoned, with a quick bow towards them both. “I was hoping that you might join me for a dance, Miss Caldwell?”

  “Is it your turn, Lord Blackwood?” Miss Caldwell replied, with a lift of her eyebrow.

  He cleared his throat and snapped his heels together. “Indeed, it is.”

  “I am rather tired,” Miss Caldwell replied with a small sigh. “Must we dance?”

  Elizabeth watched as Lord Blackwood studied Miss Caldwell for a moment before clearing his throat again, a little more gruffly this time. “We might take a turn about the room if you are very tired?”

  “A wonderful idea!” Miss Caldwell exclaimed, clapping her hands together and throwing Elizabeth a sly look. “Will you excuse me, Lady Elizabeth?”

  “Of course,” Elizabeth murmured, watching as Miss Caldwell took Lord Blackwood’s arm and began to walk with him across the ballroom towards the open door that led into the gardens. Heat rippled into her cheeks as she realized what Miss Caldwell intended, turning her face away from the sight.

  She could never do such a thing, not when
she was already betrothed. She had to maintain an impeccable standard of behavior, even though no one else knew of her current situation. Lord Mallon would not be ashamed by her, of that, she was determined.

  So, might you go walking with him in the gardens one night?

  The thought had her shivering for a moment, closing her eyes briefly and turning her mind in an altogether different direction. She did not want to think about sharing any kind of intimacies with Lord Mallon at the moment, not when he was still practically a stranger.

  Looking up at the balcony and still feeling extremely warm, Elizabeth chose to thread her way through the rest of the guests and make her way up the staircase towards the balcony. She was quite sure her mother would not mind, and heeding Miss Caldwell’s advice to remain in sight of the rest of the crowd at all times, she chose to sit down on a seat that overlooked the dancing. Satisfied that she could be seen quite plainly, she sat back in her chair and let out the most enormous sigh, her whole body humming with tiredness. She could not remember any other time in her life where she had danced this much, grinning wryly to herself, as she realized this was why her feet were now in such pain.

  This evening had been quite a wonderful introduction to society, and Elizabeth felt sure that she would enjoy the next couple of months. Even though she knew she was to marry Lord Mallon, she could still enjoy a wonderful Season filled with dancing, laughter, and new friends. She was sure that she and Miss Caldwell would become good friends, certain that their mothers would want to spend more time together whilst both families were in London.

  Smiling to herself, she glanced down at her dance card and realized that she had two dances free, which meant that she would be able to sit up here for a few more minutes without interruption. It was a welcome relief from the hubbub and the heat of the ballroom, even though Elizabeth was very much enjoying herself. Briefly, she wondered where Lord Mallon might be and whether or not she was going to be introduced to him, only for her thoughts to drift in an entirely different direction as she watched the twirling couples below her.

  Her heart grew heavy, as she thought of how Miss Caldwell’s experience could never be one she herself shared. Miss Caldwell was able to smile and talk and dance with as many gentlemen as she chose, her life entirely free for her to make her own choices. She might even fall in love with one of the gentlemen who courted her, and mayhap, she would have a marriage based on love and affection instead of mere duty.

  Frowning to herself, Elizabeth tried to shake those thoughts from her mind, knowing that it was foolish to even think of them. She could not have love, not when her path was already chosen for her. Even though she might dream of such a circumstance, it was foolish to continue to think on it, foolish to keep hoping for it. She would have to lay her dreams to rest and face her future with practicality. Love was not something she needed to consider.

  3

  Luke cleared his throat as he shook the Earl of Lewisham’s hand, aware that his father was beaming delightedly beside him.

  “Good to see you again, Mallon,” the earl said firmly, his gaze stronger than Luke had expected. “I do hope you have been enjoying the Season thus far?”

  “Indeed,” Luke replied at once, ignoring the warning look from his father. “Although I will say that I am very much looking forward to seeing your daughter again. It has been over a decade since I last set eyes on her!”

  The earl nodded whilst Luke caught the relief written on his father’s features. “Of course. She will be glad to see you, too. I am quite sure of it. Although do allow her to enjoy the Season before you make any wedding plans, will you? She has done very well these last years, particularly when she was alone for all that time.”

  Recalling what his father had said about Lady Elizabeth having a good character and disposition, Luke allowed himself a small smile. “She sounds as though she has a strong fortitude.”

  “Yes, indeed,” the earl replied, his eyes taking on something of a faraway look. “There were times I was not sure I would ever return to England to see her again, but I am glad to say that has proven to be entirely wrong.”

  “Just so long as you are not considering another trip abroad,” Luke’s father chuckled, his smile stretching across his face. “I think it best you remain here on England’s shores!”

  The earl chuckled, slapping his friend on the back. “I quite agree.”

  “Good. I am very glad to hear it,” his father replied with a smile. “We have been here the last few Seasons, alongside my brother-in-law’s son, who last year became the new Baron Parke.”

  “I did not know your brother-in-law had passed away,” the earl said with a slight frown. “I am sorry to hear it.”

  Luke, feeling as though he were intruding a little, cleared his throat. “I think I shall go in to the dancing in search of your daughter,” he said with a slight incline of his head. “Do excuse me.”

  The earl nodded, and as Luke excused himself, he heard his father launch into conversation about his holdings overseas, delighted with the fact that the two families would soon be joined in matrimony.

  Luke bit back a sigh, wandering onto the balcony and looking down at the swirling dancers below. He had always known that this day was coming, but he had tried his best to push it from his thoughts, hating the idea that he would soon be a married man. Whilst he had enjoyed his previous Seasons, complete with as much dancing and conversation as he had wanted, there had always been the thought in the back of his mind about his betrothed. He had never been allowed the freedom to find and court any eligible young lady he wished, despite the fact that he had found some of them more than a little delightful. There would never be that freedom for him. His life was mapped out for him.

  Wandering along the balcony towards the staircase, Luke paused as he saw a young lady climb the staircase and make her way a little way along the balcony, choosing to sit down quietly in a seat in full view of all the dancers. Briefly, he wondered if she was here to wait for a gentleman to come in search of her, but on seeing where she sat, he dismissed that idea at once. She could be clearly seen by all those below, and given that she appeared to be a debutante, Luke did not think that she would damage her reputation in any way. Mayhap she was just a little tired after all the dancing and had chosen to take refuge up here, away from the crowd.

  He paused, studying her for a moment. She was wearing a dress of pale blue, her dark brown hair coiled up at the back of her head with glittering jewels dotted all through it. Her high cheekbones gave her face something of an angular perspective, which was immediately softened by the tendrils of hair curling around her cheeks. She smiled as she watched the dancers, her lips curving gently. Her cheeks were a dusky pink, and as she smoothed her skirts, Luke was suddenly overcome with a desire to know her name.

  She was very beautiful, with an elegance and grace about her that seemed to emanate from her. His heart quickened as he considered whether to introduce himself, despite the impropriety of it all. By rights, he should find someone who knew both himself and her and ask to be introduced, but that seemed such a ridiculous notion when it was just the two of them on the balcony. Besides, he did not particularly want anyone else’s company. He wanted this mysterious lady’s attention focused solely on him.

  You are betrothed.

  The thought cut him to the quick, making him struggle for breath. The truth was, it did not matter what her name was, nor how lovely her features were. He could not have any kind of relationship with her past a brief acquaintance. He would be married soon, and that would be that. Was there any point in introducing himself now? Did it really matter whether or not she knew his name and he hers?

  His feet moved of their own accord, despite the questions flooding through his mind. He had to go to her regardless, suddenly desperate to become acquainted with her. Ignoring the doubts that plagued him, he straightened his jacket and made his way slowly along the balcony, his footsteps practically silent as the music from the orchestra began to play once more
.

  She did not have a partner for this dance. That was surprising, given her loveliness. Luke felt his heart quicken its pace as he came alongside her, seeing her look up at him in surprise, the gentle smile fading from her face. Her cheeks paled as though she were afraid he might accost her in some way, and wanting to calm such a thought, he bowed deeply and smiled at her.

  “You are all alone?” he asked, not quite sure what he was meant to say. “I mean, might you wish for some company?”

  “My lord,” she murmured, getting to her feet and stepping a little away from him. “We have not yet been introduced.”

  He smiled, bowing as gracefully as he could. “I am well aware of that, my lady, but at times such as these, I find that we must push convention and propriety aside and simply introduce ourselves to one another without the aid of a third party.”

  The lady blushed and looked away from him, clearly a little disenchanted by his idea.

  “The only other thing we can do is to remain unintroduced,” he continued with a quick smile, as she looked in his direction. “Either way, I would very much like to speak with you for a time.”

  Her eyes darted to his, and for a moment, he was unable to think of anything but those eyes. They were warm and yet filled with a caution that he wanted to take away from her. There was nothing to fear from him, nothing to concern herself about.

  “I am only here for a short time,” the lady said eventually, sitting down in her chair once more. “I found the crush of the ballroom to be a little too great, and so I came here for a brief respite from it all.”

  Glad that she appeared more relaxed, Luke smiled at her and walked a little further along the balcony so as to keep an appropriate distance between them. In addition, he made sure to stand directly behind a large, ornate plant so that his appearance might be somewhat hidden from anyone watching from below. He wanted to ensure that the lady’s reputation was protected.

  “So, we are not to be introduced then?” he murmured with a quick smile. “Very well, my lady, may I ask if you are enjoying your time in London?”