Cry For You_A Second Chance Romance

by Shaniel Watson

  “Yes.” One single word has never meant so much, full of permission and understanding.

  My hand on her thighs pull her robe back, allowing it to fall open to expose the smooth expanse of skin only marked by a few silver streaks. Those flaws are as beautiful to me as this sight of her in nothing but her bra and underwear.

  I mark each one with the tip of my tongue, going further with a building hunger at the sound of her soft moan. I slide down her underwear, letting them drop to the ground, seeking the heat of the intoxicating scent that is her, running my nose across and through the light sprinkling of hair hiding what I know awaits.

  My tongue slices between plump lips, licking at her, sending the first jolt of pleasure through her as I latch on with a moan. Her fingernails sink into my shoulder, my name tumbling from her lips. Her back arches, high, firm breasts pushing into the air, begging me to touch and worship with equal attention.

  But I can’t leave the sheer, sweet perfection against my lips. I lap and lick as I revel in her pleasure. She urges me on, holding my mouth to her as I lift her leg over my shoulder, giving me full access to slip inside her, my face nestled between the tight passage of pleasure and bliss for both of us.

  Quiet moans, pushing and pulling against each other, pulse-beating tremors going through her body when my hands press against her ass, taking her completely in my mouth. I’m as deep as possible—no separating us. My hand snakes around her thigh, touching my lips. My fingers moving in quick circles, and I look up just in time as she falls apart, her chest rising and falling as she gasps for air, holding me tight to her.

  My pleasure doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t compare. “Lacey, I love you so much it hurts.”

  Her leg slides off my shoulder. I’m not sure if she’s crying or not when she presses her lips to mine. Too quickly she steps back, leaving me alone for the safety of her bedroom, locking the door behind her.

  The pounding in my head won’t go away if people won’t stop knocking on my door to make sure I’m okay. They act like I’ve never been hungover before. Well, I haven’t been in over six years, since before I owned this bar, so I guess they wouldn’t know this used to be the norm for me.

  “Come in,” I say, raising my head off my desk, keeping my eyes closed as I sit back.

  “Hello, Landon.”

  I jolt up, my eyes springing open, landing on the last person I would expect to see standing in the doorway of this bar or any other.

  “Hey, Mrs. McQueen.” I move to stand up, but she gestures for me to sit back down. “What brings you in? I know Pastor Ricardo wouldn’t approve of you making a stop in our bar, even if it’s to save and recruit a few lost souls.”

  She smiles. “The souls in here have to save themselves if they’re in here sipping on sinner’s juice before noon.”

  I laugh. This is the first time she has ever said anything to me that was remotely funny.

  “But I’d be happy to stop by on occasion to try if you’d like?”

  “I don’t think my business could withstand you, or your daughters. What can I do for you?”

  “Lacey.”

  “Lacey.” I stare, confused.

  “And my grandson.” She points to the seat in front of me, and I nod my approval for her to sit. “You’ve got some kind of a hold on them. You’ve always had it on Lacey, but now my grandson is involved, and he’s hurting too. You’ve come into his life, and although I wish it was different, you made his mother happy.”

  I shake my head pressing my lips together. “That’s not the truth. If I did, you wouldn’t be here.”

  “You know Lacey’s road.” She looks at me with a piercing stare. “How far she’s come from where she was. She’s opened up her heart to you for her son.”

  “I miss her and Jacob,” I manage to say, a burning in my throat at the memory of last night.

  “You’re both hurting each other, and it’s not only you two now, but also your children. When you came back, I was scared for Lacey, that you would set her back. An unwelcome reminder of everything she’s worked hard to regain. I was wrong. You’ve changed; you’ve become a man that can shoulder the ups and downs of the tragedies in life. I’ve seen you with your son and Jacob. I see the love you have for Lacey transferred to him, because he is a part of her. I’m not happy you’re married and seeing my daughter. If things aren’t done right, they cannot last. Do you love your wife?”

  I open my mouth, and she stops me. “Think about it before you answer. Give me the right answer. If not, I’m out of the door, my grandson’s and daughter’s lives going with me. For good.”

  “Bree and I are not together, and we never will be again. I love her only as my son’s mother. I respect her as such. I love Lacey. It’s always been Lacey. I couldn’t have her, so I tried with Bree, without resolving my feelings for Lacey and closing that chapter in my life. Maybe that was wrong of me. But I knew no other way. Lacey is it for me, Mrs. McQueen. Forever.”

  There’s a familiar, overwhelming urge to put my hand over my heart where forever is marked. Balling my hand into a fist, I resist.

  “The answer of a man who is acknowledging and taking responsibility for the choices he’s made, with respect for his past life, and the women in it.” She sighs, straightening. “Fear is a crippling thing. It takes hold of our lives, if we let it, and keeps us from moving forward, from living the best lives we can with happiness and love.” She looks down at her bag in her lap. “Sometimes it’s not your own. It can be forced on you by others, disguised as love and doing what’s best for you.”

  She keeps her eyes down, and I wonder where she’s going with this. Wherever it is, she seems uncomfortable, though she was as sure as she’s ever been just moments earlier.

  “I don’t believe in termination of life, Landon. I’m ashamed to say I asked that of Lacey when we found out about Jacob. I let my fear change my values and the core of who I am, and what I believe in, because I was scared. I didn’t think she could handle what was ahead of her. The shame, rejection, people’s ignorance, unfair judgment of what they didn’t know.” Her watery eyes look to me. “What I didn’t know.”

  “You wanted her to terminate Jacob, like me,” I say, understanding what she’s going through just telling me this.

  “In her fear, she stayed strong. She refused. I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t back down.” She shakes her head as if she’s reliving it. “I thought, why would she do this if she could make it all disappear? I thought I had the answers for her. I knew best. She considered adoption, and I pushed it forward at full speed. When she had the baby, it was going to be whisked away. She could start to repair her life, and she would be stronger.” She shakes her head slowly.

  “She stayed strong and refused to let you make the decision for her.”

  “I’m profoundly glad she did. I had a plan, but God and Lacey had other plans. Plans I could not have seen, in my fear and my shame for what happened to her.” She clenches her hands together.

  I see the discoloration interrupting the flow of circulation in her hands. I can see she can’t bear to talk about this, even after many years. I understand. I feel her pain. Coming around the desk, I sit against it, taking her hand. Something she once did for me long ago when I thought I couldn’t bear the pain of letting go. That we’ve never spoken of to this day.

  “I was her mother. How could this happen to her? I couldn’t help her.” She closes her eyes, wiping at them. She pats my hand before letting them go and composing herself again. “The point I was trying to make is, because she wouldn’t succumb to my fears, we had the most beautiful thing come into our lives. He brought her out of the darkness and into the light with the innocence of his pure love. He helped her back to love and trust again, to believe it was possible to love and be loved. Landon, there is power in fear, but it will and can never be as powerful as love.

  “Lacey’s fear is taking over her love for you. Do you want my daughter, Landon? Overrule her fear. Give her what she
needs. Make her believe you’re not going anywhere, that you are here to stay for good. Show them you’re not leaving them; let them believe in forever. Love over fear.” She left me quickly after that, done with what she’d come for.

  I sat for a long time, going over all the things that have come to pass through the years. My life with Bree. Having Jacob, who I’m forever proud of and love with all my heart. I decided things had to change. They had to change for all of us, if we were all going to live our best lives. Love over fear, for all of us.

  “Hi, honey, can you go to your room so I can talk with your mother?” My mother says to Jacob, who is playing on the floor with his Legos.

  “Okay, Grandma.”

  She smiles patiently while he separates every single one, putting them in the box one by one. I smile, too. I’ve told him before that it’s okay to drop them in the box stuck together. He insists on doing it his way.

  He leaves, and she turns to me, standing against the kitchen sink where I was washing the dinner dishes. “You know I haven’t been the biggest supporter of your reunion with Landon.”

  I so do not need this. “Why are you bringing this up? I ended things with him weeks ago.”

  “It ended so well that I saw him stumbling in and out of your place late last night.”

  I look at my feet, cheeks burning. “You don’t need to worry about that, there’s no reunion. It’s best for everyone it ended before it went too far, and people got hurt.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but people are already hurt. Your children, Landon, and you.” She comes closer, resting her hand next to me on the side of the sink.

  “Like I said, it’s over, don’t worry.”

  “I do worry, because that man loves you, Lacey; he always has.”

  Exasperated, I fold my arms across my stomach. What the hell does she want me to do? This is what she should want. All of a sudden she’s changed her mind? I can’t! “Where is this coming from? You said you never wanted us together from the beginning, and now you’re in here doing what?” I lower my voice, listening, to make sure Jacob isn’t eavesdropping. “You’re going to sing his praises to me?”

  “Lacey, listen to me. Calm down, hear me out.” She puts a hand on my arm. “When you were young, I didn’t want to see how much he loved you. All I saw was an older guy with tattoos, a train wreck of a friend doing anything but what I would call dating my other daughter, who was equally a train wreck. I was biased. I thought he was going to lead you off the path. I wanted the clean-cut guy for you who came from the good family. The perfect guy. I was so wrong.”

  I don’t know, but I don’t want to hear this. I turn my face away, shaking my head to get away from this. She doesn’t let me. She takes my chin in her hands, turning my face to hers, forcing me to listen.

  “The night Landon left you, he was outside your door, listening to you cry for him, for the world, and everything you had no control over. I sat next to him on the floor, and he cried for you. The cry when a man loves a woman so completely, he knows he has to let her go. I held his hand and told him to go. I told him that I had you, that we had you. That Shay and I would be the fortress of love you needed to cloak you.”

  That does me in. Big, fat tears spill down. Tears of the past. Tears for now. She grabs me in her arms and rubs my back, and I hold on to her. “I know he loves me, Mama. What if I let him back in, and he leaves us again?” I sniff into her shoulder, feeling exhausted. “It was hard the first time, but this time Jacob’s here. He’d be devastated. It would be giving him the one thing he wanted,” I hiccup. “Snatching it away, to watch him fall and crumble? I don’t want to give him that hope and love, only for it to disappear. I know what it’s like.”

  “Don’t let fear control you, Lacey. Don’t let it steal love away from you. Think about it…if you did, you wouldn’t have Jacob. Give him a chance if he comes to you. Give him a chance.”

  Is that all?” Trigg yells to me from the door.

  “Pretty much,” I say jumping out of the back of the truck I rented.

  He jumps off the step, carrying the last box past me. “All right, then.”

  I can’t believe that’s it. I did it. Everything I own is in the back of that truck, minus a few things that I wouldn’t really need. “Thanks, man, for all the help.”

  “I’ll send you my bill, along with the other ones for all the mental health counseling. Don’t worry, I trust you enough for a payment plan.”

  “You’re full of shit,” I say, laughing.

  He laughs too. “Seriously though, I don’t mind.”

  I look back and see Bree standing in the open door. I remember when we bought this house. The first day we moved in, she was ecstatic. Yeah, life’s sometimes hard. Back then I wasn’t thinking this day would ever come. And it’s sad. Moving on is harder than I thought. We shared a life together, and it wasn’t bad, but it sure wasn’t enough for either of us. It’s sad, but I’m doing what needs to be done for me, her, and Jackson.

  I go up the steps, standing in front of her. “Can I talk to you a minute?”

  “Sure.” She walks in, and I follow into the living room. “You have everything you need?”

  “Yes.”

  I watch her brush her hair away, looking around. She hasn’t been around since I came with Trigg. I realize this is hard for her. That’s the reason we made sure Jackson wasn’t here when I did this.

  “This is really it, huh? You’re leaving?”

  “I’m only leaving this house.”

  “And our marriage, don’t forget that.”

  There was no way this was going to be easy for either of us. I don’t want it to get worse, either. I take her hand, the one she’s still wearing her wedding ring on, to say what I believe is true for us. “People and things happen and are put for a time in our lives. I don’t regret us, Bree.”

  “You regret marrying me and getting me pregnant. It was a one-night stand… a couple of them.” she sniffs, eyes blinking. I squeeze her hand because I don’t want her to go there.

  “How could I regret you, Bree? In a way, you saved me from myself. This life we had together saved me. Look what you gave me. You gave me something no one else could. He’s the best thing that could have happened to me, even though I didn’t know it or appreciate it at the time we found out about him.” I was scared of messing up and being the worst kind of father there was—one who wasn’t there emotionally.

  “I remember you weren’t thrilled, but you stepped up. You are a great father.”

  “Thank you. I love you and respect you as his mother. You are his mother. No one else. What we say concerning our son will always come first, but I will always take into consideration what someone else has to say if it’s in the best interest of our son. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? Hopefully without screwing it up.” I smile.

  “You’re moving on, leaving what we had behind. Got it.”

  “It doesn’t change what we had. We had some good times—”

  “Not enough.” She looks down at our hands. “You’re moving on with someone else who is not me, and I’m left with memories; they can’t hold.”

  I tell Trigg to drive my stuff to my new place for me. I hold her hand while she cries, then give her a hug before she fixes her makeup. She wants to make sure she’s okay before we get Jackson.

  When she’s done, she meets me in the truck and trying for a smile says, “Let’s go talk to our son.”

  A few days later, I think things are going well with the move, after Bree and I had a talk with Jackson. We took him over to my new place, and he saw his room for when he comes to spend the night next weekend. I’m surprised when I get a call from his school telling me he was in another fight at recess with Garrett.

  When I get to school, Principal Kramer explains everything to me, and they let me take him home for the day. I sit him in the back seat of my truck, with his feet hanging out the side, and ask him what happened. I’m not angry; I already know, but I want him to
tell me so we can talk about it.

  “Everyone was talking about what their dad did. Jacob said he didn’t have a daddy. Garrett and Andre said everyone has a father. Jacob said he didn’t. Garret told him he did, called him a dummy, and said his mother was a liar, then he pushed him in the shoulder.”

  Mmm…that Garrett is some kid. “How did you end up fighting with Garrett?”

  “I told him to shut up and leave him alone.”

  “Then what?”

  His eyes move away from me with a frown. “He told me to shut up, and I popped him in the lip.”

  This isn’t the time to laugh, but I want to. I’m kind of proud of him. He’s going to run into a lot of Garrett’s type in the world, so I have to be dad.

  “What did we tell you? Use your words, not your hands.”

  “He made Jacob cry.”

  “I know, buddy, but what if you would have hurt that boy?”

  “He hurt Jacob, and you said it’s not all right for people to hurt each other. That if I see it I should do something about it, and I did,” he says with a pout, almost defiant.

  “I know. It’s kind of tricky to figure out when you should get involved yourself when you see something wrong, and when to get the people in charge to handle it. I know it can be hard to control your emotions, especially when it’s someone you care about.”

  He nods his head, lips squeezed together as if to say, “Yeah!”

  Then he says it, and I laugh. “We’ll talk about this some more later, but no more fighting okay?”

  “Fine.”

  “Jackson.”

  “Okay. No more.”

  “Good. I am proud of you for sticking up for your friend.” He gives me a big smile at that and a hug. We go back to my place.

  In the evening, on the way to The Office, he asks me if he could go over to Jacob’s to play. Said he misses playing with his best friend. I said I wasn’t sure about that yet, but I was working on it. By working on it, I meant everything I’ve done in the past few weeks, including moving out, getting my own place, and filing for divorce, which I did two days ago.