Blame It On Your Heart (Big Timber)

by Jami Alden

  "Uh, sorry to interrupt."

  Ellie jerked her hand from Damon's grasp and took too steps back at Molly's chipper voice.

  "JT called. The shuttles just left the ranch so they should be here in about twenty minutes."

  Showtime. Appetizer trays were assembled and wine was uncorked as they anticipated an influx of sixty-two people all at once. While Molly oversaw service from both bars, and Adele and Brady managed the kitchen, Ellie and Damon stationed themselves at the front of the restaurant to meet and greet and help everyone find their seats among the tables.

  She watched as the first of four shuttles rounded the corner and approached. Already anxious, Ellie felt a fresh wave of anxiety roll over her. Her heart started to pound in her chest so hard she was convinced it was going to crack through her ribcage. Her lungs felt squeezed tight, unable to get enough oxygen.

  A cold sweat beaded on her lip as she struggled to get her panic under control. Thoughts swirled in her head, making it impossible to calm down. I should never have agreed to this. These people know who I am, everything that's happened. They'll spend the entire night whispering about me and wondering why Jane Bowden would ever trust someone like me with an event like this.

  The van pulled to a stop in the parking lot, and Ellie knew she had to get out of there.

  She took one step back but was stayed by a solid, warm pressure on the small of her back.

  "It's okay, El," Damon reassured her while his thumb traced gentle circles along her back. "Nobody cares about what happened with you and Troy. They're just here to have a good time."

  Miraculously, her anxiety dropped, as though Damon was pulling it all out with the gentle press of his hand on her back. By the time the first guest emerged from the van Ellie's pulse was at below heart attack rates and she was no longer hyperventilating.

  It helped that one of the first people out was Laura, who rushed up to greet Ellie with a huge hug. "It hasn't even started yet and already this party is awesome. Do you know who I met out at the ranch?" she whispered conspiratorially.

  Ellie smiled and nodded when Laura mentioned one of her favorite authors. "Jane is working on an adaptation of her latest book. Cool, right?"

  "Uh, yeah," Laura said, sounding exactly like she had at sixteen. "I know you're hostess so I won't hold up the line. Mark, stop yapping and grab our place cards," she said to Mark, who was telling Damon about meeting a leading action star that Deck regularly worked with.

  "Funny thing though," Rob was saying as he leaned in so his voice wouldn't carry, "this guy, he looks so huge on the screen, but he's barely taller than Laura."

  Laura shushed him and pulled him away by his arm. "We'll catch up later," she said with a little wiggle of her fingers.

  Though there were a few high profile celebrities on the list, Ellie was relieved that for the most part, the guests were Deck's friends from either high school or the army or people he worked with behind the scenes on movies. The fact that the crowd was made up mostly of regular humans—many of whom she already knew—made her stress level lower that much more quickly.

  "How's everything going?" Once the guests were greeted and knew where they would be sitting, she went to check in with Molly.

  "Great," her sister, who was busily pulling corks on more wine at the bar inside, replied. "Janelle and Sadie are passing wine while Sean and Connor are doing a great job with the mixed drinks," she added, flashing a smile at Sean who was busy muddling mint and sugar for a mojito for the guest at the front of the line.

  "Thanks again for helping us out tonight," Ellie said. Sean and Connor were friends of Sadie and Molly's who worked at a popular spot in Bozeman and were used to slinging drinks for bigger crowds.

  "My pleasure, ma'am," he replied with a grin. "I can always use the extra money, and it's not every day I get to serve drinks to real live celebrities."

  "I thought you told me John Mayer came into the bar all the time," Molly teased.

  He covered the glass with a cocktail shaker and shook it like a maraca, then pulled off the shaker, topped the drink off with club soda and garnished it with a sprig of mint before handing it to the guest.

  He shrugged. "He does—he comes in to creep on all the college girls. That's nothing like getting to meet Jane Bowden." Ellie laughed at the starry look in his eyes. Though she had the wholesome, blonde good looks of the girl next door, Jane had done enough bikini shots to get any straight male thinking about more than hand holding and ice cream socials.

  And even she had to admit, Ellie thought as she made her way to the kitchen, after speaking to Jane only by phone for the past several weeks she was excited to meet her in person.

  As she made her way through the crowd, she shoved away the feeling that she was being stared at and remarked upon. She fixed a friendly smile to her face and stopped to chat with several of the party guests.

  "Are you having a nice time?" Ellie said to a petite blonde women with the kind of perfect Barbie doll-like features that would have made it easy to hate her if her wide smile hadn't been so sincere.

  "We are," she said enthusiastically as she reached out to take a tuna tartar bite from the tray Sadie was passing. "Everything is so fun, the decorations, the layout. And the food is incredible," she said, gesturing with the little bit of jicama. "I'm Julie Dennison, by the way."

  At the name, Ellie felt her spine go a little straighter with pride. Julie and her husband were proprietors of two of the most exclusive resorts in the Caribbean, and highly sought after venues for high profile celebrations. Julie was often featured in lifestyle magazines, offering advice on how to throw the most successful parties. If she liked what Ellie had pulled together, it meant something.

  "...and this is my husband Chris," Julie said gesturing to the tall, broad shouldered man next to her. With his sun-streaked brown hair, dark blue eyes, and chiseled features he was a perfect strapping Ken to her diminutive Barbie, though based on the body language between the pair, Ellie was guessing Chris had more than a smooth plastic bump going on downstairs.

  "It still blows my mind that Jane and Deck are married," Julie said, wide eyed when she swallowed the last of her tuna. “You know," she said, leaning over to Ellie, glancing around as though she didn't want to be heard, "we first met Jane when she was getting married at Holley Cay to that other guy, and Deck was in charge of security. And, oh my God, was she ever a pain in the ass—"

  "Jules," Chris interjected in a lightly scolding tone.

  "What? It's not like she won't admit it herself," Julie said, blinking innocently. "Anyway, funny how—"

  The crash of breaking glass cut her off. Ellie's throat squeezed in renewed panic as Julie's eyes widened for a split second. Then Julie reached out and squeezed her arm. "Don't worry. It's not a party until something breaks."

  Ellie excused herself with a rueful shake of her head and went to investigate. To her relief, the damage wasn't too bad. Someone had knocked into Janelle and had sent her tray flying onto the flagstone patio. Fortunately all the glasses were empty and no one was hurt.

  Really, most of the damage seemed to be to Janelle herself, who looked horrified. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she kept repeating, her eyes welling with tears as Damon awkwardly patted her shoulder.

  Janelle bent and started to reach for one of the larger pieces of glass. "Don't, you'll cut yourself," Cindy said as she reached them, a hand broom and dustpan in hand. She handed it to her sister, but Janelle's hands were shaking so badly she couldn't get the shards into the dustpan.

  A crowd was starting to gather, and Ellie felt her face begin to get hot. Damon quickly turned on the charm. "Sorry folks, just a minor mishap. Why don't we get your drinks freshened while we wait for that ass—I mean the guest of honor to arrive." His joke earned him a hearty chuckle, and Ellie watched, grateful as everyone took his advice and wandered away to the bar.

  She covered Janelle's hands with her own.

  "Am I fired?" Janelle said, tears now streamin
g from her pale blue eyes.

  "Of course not. Why don't you go help Brady in the kitchen for a little bit, while I clean this up."

  Ellie had just thrown the last of the glass into the garbage when Damon came up beside her. "Dylan just texted. They're five minutes away."

  Though Damon had initially rolled his eyes at the idea of everyone jumping out and yelling "Surprise!" it was clear by the way he moved through the crowd, urging everyone to gather at the designated spot on the patio, that he was getting into the spirit.

  It took several minutes, but finally all the guests were corralled around to the patio where they wouldn't be seen from the parking lot. Damon made sure Laura, Rob, and a few other of Deck's closest friends were right up front so Deck would see them first when Dylan led him around the corner.

  Ellie watched from inside the restaurant as Dylan pulled up in his Yukon, followed by Frank and Vivian in their own Explorer.

  Dylan and Deck climbed out first, then Deck went around to the rear passenger side and opened the door. Then around to the other side, where he leaned in and emerged with a baby carrier in one hand.

  One long, tan leg ending in a gorgeous pair of hand-tooled cowboy boots extended from the car. Ellie's heart started to race, her stomach doing back flips at the first sight of Jane Bowden in all her golden girl glory as she stepped out of the car and flashed her husband a blinding smile.

  Oh my God, she's really here. And now she's going to see firsthand how I handled her party and decide whether I fucked it up or not.

  Ellie didn't know why she was suddenly so nervous. All of the guests seemed to be having a great time. And when she'd spoken with Jane on the phone, she couldn't have been nicer.

  But Ellie couldn't stifle the nagging fear—what if Jane hated it?

  "She's going to love it," Molly said softly beside her, as though she'd read Ellie’s mind.

  "You really think so?" Ellie said, hating how pitiful she sounded, relieved only Molly was around to hear it.

  "How could she not?" Molly slid her arm around Ellie's shoulder and squeezed. "You've done an amazing job with this, El. There's no way we could have ever pulled this off if you hadn't been here to step in."

  "Thanks," Ellie said.

  "And I'm sorry if I was kind of a jerk about some of the changes you made," Molly said. "It's just, it was kind of hard, working here all along and then watching you come in and know exactly what to do, when Mom and I never could seem to figure it out."

  Ellie was about to say more, but was cut off by the roar of "Surprise!" coming from outside.

  She and Molly hurried out to the patio, where they watched as Deck, grinning from ear to ear, was doing the single arm hug and back slap with several of the guys and leaning down to buss the cheeks of their dates.

  "I can't believe you did this," Ellie heard him say as she and Molly stepped out on the patio. He pulled his wife close and gave her a big smack on the lips. "I told you not to make a big deal."

  Jane shrugged, her eyes sparkling as she smiled. "And I decided I wanted to make a big deal anyway. Besides, all I really did was make a bunch of phone calls. Damon and Ellie are the ones who helped me pull it together."

  "Ellie." Deck turned to his brother, eyebrow raised.

  Ellie felt her stomach flip at the slight edge in Deck's voice. Like Dylan, it sounded like Deck was none too happy to have Ellie back in his brother's orbit.

  "Deck!" Molly thankfully broke the tension as she flung herself at him and hugged him tight. Then she turned to Jane. "Hi, I'm—"

  "Molly," Jane said and pulled her in for a friendly, one-armed hug since she was cradling their son on her other hip. "We met last Thanksgiving. Where's your sister—wait is that her?" She said as she caught sight of Ellie standing behind Molly. "Of course, she looks just like you but with dark hair," she exclaimed and stepped forward to greet Ellie with a warm hug. "Thank you, so much for putting this all together. I haven't even seen everything yet and I can already tell it's even more perfect than I'd hoped."

  Warmth bloomed in Ellie's chest at the praise. "I didn't do it myself, by any means. Brady really came through on the menu, and of course Damon has—"

  "Been around to move heavy stuff when she needed it," he said with a laugh and gave her shoulder a little squeeze. "Honestly, everything here tonight was Ellie's doing. If I were left in charge we'd probably have a keg and a bucket of fried chicken served on paper plates.

  "Nothing wrong with that," Deck joked, but his eyes were narrowed on Damon's hand resting on Ellie’s shoulder.

  The warm glow of Jane's praise faded a little.

  Jane gave him a playful smack. "That's what you wanted for our wedding. I love you Damon," she said, and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "But I'm glad you weren't in charge."

  "Happy birthday, Deck," Ellie said, pretty sure he wouldn't welcome a hug, wondering if she should offer to shake his hand. In the end, she did neither.

  "Thanks," he replied curtly. She'd been prepared for the rebuff, but it still stung, having Deck, who'd once treated her like the little sister he never had, greet her as though she was a stranger.

  He turned to greet another guest, who, judging from his height and the size of his shoulders straining the seams of his western style shirt, must be one of the consultants who worked with Deck on movie sets. Ellie took the opportunity to slip away and make sure one of the servers got the new arrivals drinks and then went to check in with Brady who was over at the barbecue pit, basting the ribs with what looked like a hand-sized mop.

  "Looks like everything is going smoothly," he commented. "You still want to plan on having everyone sit down at seven?"

  Ellie looked over the crowd, taking heart in all the smiles and animated conversations going on around her. "Everyone seems to be enjoying cocktail hour. Let's push it back to seven fifteen. That will also give Deck and Jane a chance to say hello to everyone."

  She started back to the kitchen to let her mom know the slight adjustment in the schedule. As she looked over the crowd, her gaze was inevitably drawn to Damon. His head was thrown back, teeth showing whitely against his tan skin as he laughed at something Deck said. Dylan and his parents were also in their little side group, Vivian cooing over her grandson while Jane spoke to another woman off to the side.

  Even from across the room, you could sense the closeness, the love in that family.

  There'd been a time when she'd been right in the thick of it, loved by Vivian and Frank almost as much as by her own mother. If things had worked out differently, she would have been right there with them, Damon's hand holding hers loosely, the way Deck held Jane's. Vivian would be fussing over one of her babies while she joked with Dylan and Deck, who she'd once loved as much as if they'd been blood brothers.

  A hand tugged at hers and she looked down. "Anthony," she said. Despite the tightness in her throat, she couldn't help but smile at the sight of her son, dressed in the pearl snap shirt Adele had bought him especially for the party. "Look at you, all handsome in your new shirt. Want to come with me to the kitchen to see Nana?"

  He nodded eagerly and let her lead him through the crowd. Out of the corner of her eye she watched the Decker family, her heart squeezing at the way Damon leaned over his mom's shoulder to peer at his nephew.

  She had her own family, one she loved with all her heart, she thought, her grip on Anthony's hand tightening. And they loved her back.

  Yet that didn't stop her heart from aching at the up close and personal look at all she'd lost. While they celebrated Deck's birthday with all of their closest friends, she would always be on the outside.

  Chapter 16

  Damon tracked Ellie through the crowd as she hurried over to the DJ. Now that dinner and dessert had been served, it was time for the low key background music to be kicked up into something more danceable.

  Though if everyone was as stuffed as he was with ribs and steaks and wild salmon flown in fresh from Seattle, he didn't see how anyone was going to move. />
  "This is pretty damn awesome," Deck said. He was leaning against the bar, his arm slung around Jane's shoulders while she cradled baby Devlin. "I guess this means I'm going to have to do something really big for your birthday," he said, pressing a kiss to his wife's forehead.

  "Ugh, what woman wants to celebrate after thirty?" Jane said, rolling her eyes. "If you two will excuse me, I need to use the ladies."

  Deck reached out his hands to take the baby, but instead she pushed the sleeping bundle into Damon's arms.

  "Here, bond with your nephew."

  Though Damon wasn't at all sure about this—he liked kids fine, but like most single guys his age, he hadn't held many, make that any, babies—it was either open his arms or drop the kid.

  Devlin's little face screwed up into a frown. Damon braced himself for the wailing to begin, but to his surprise, the baby shot him a drooly grin that made his heart feel like it was melting in his chest. He couldn't resist smiling back, and spent the next several minutes making goofy faces and making Devlin giggle until it wasn't clear who was laughing harder.

  "Pretty amazing, right?" Deck said. Damon looked up and saw his brother gazing down at his son. The look in his eyes so intimate and full of love Damon almost felt like he was intruding.

  "You seem really happy," Damon said, embarrassed at how tight his throat felt. Christ, who would have thought holding his brother's baby would turn him into such a chick.

  "Happy doesn't even begin to cover it," Deck said, giving Damon a look he could only describe as starry eyed. It was a look he'd never seen until Deck had gotten with Jane. "Look at her," he said, gesturing with his half empty beer glass at his wife, who was chatting with Laura as though whatever the woman was saying was the most interesting thing she'd ever heard. "Not only is she one of the most gorgeous women on the planet, she's smart, she's driven, and she's a really fucking nice person. And, you know, I was a little worried about how she'd be with the baby," he said, lowering his voice so no one could overhear. "Not that she wouldn't love him or anything—she's wanted to be a mom forever. But you know, actresses get so fucked up about their bodies, and now there's all this pressure to be back at your pre-baby weight the day you leave the hospital. I was afraid she'd get a little psycho. And also, you know, I love her, but Jane's been on her own program for a while now. When she wasn't working she was used to being able to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted."