Love to Hate You: a Hope Valley novel
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Love to Hate You
a Hope Valley novel
Jessica Prince
Copyright © 2020 by Jessica Prince
www.authorjessicaprince.com
published by Jessica Prince Books LLC
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Contents
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Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Epilogue
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About Jessica
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HOPE VALLEY SERIES:
Out of My League
Come Back Home Again
The Best of Me
Wrong Side of the Tracks
Stay With Me
Out of the Darkness
The Second Time Around
Waiting for Forever
Love to Hate You
REDEMPTION SERIES
Bad Alibi
Crazy Beautiful
Bittersweet
THE PICKING UP THE PIECES SERIES:
Picking up the Pieces
Rising from the Ashes
Pushing the Boundaries
Worth the Wait
THE COLORS NOVELS:
Scattered Colors
Shrinking Violet
Love Hate Relationship
Wildflower
THE LOCKLAINE BOYS (a LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP spinoff):
Fire & Ice
Opposites Attract
Almost Perfect
The Locklaine Boys: The Complete Series Boxset
THE PEMBROOKE SERIES (a WILDFLOWER spinoff):
Sweet Sunshine
Coming Full Circle
A Broken Soul
Welcome to Pembrooke: The Complete Pembrooke Series
CIVIL CORRUPTION SERIES
Corrupt
Defile
Consume
Ravage
GIRL TALK SERIES:
Seducing Lola
Tempting Sophia
Enticing Daphne
Charming Fiona
STANDALONE TITLES:
One Knight Stand
Chance Encounters
Nightmares from Within
DEADLY LOVE SERIES:
Destructive
Addictive
Prologue
Hayden
Standing in the middle of the expensive, luxurious boutique in downtown Richmond, surrounded by lace and silk and satin in every color, I felt completely and utterly ridiculous. I couldn’t believe it had come to this, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and I was nothing if not painfully desperate.
“Hi. Can I help you?”
I looked up from the garment rack, the hangers holding tiny scraps of material that would barely cover my hand let alone other parts of my body. The sales clerk was a tall, svelte, modelesque blonde dressed in all black—from her sky-high heels and tight pencil skirt to her sheer silk blouse and the lacy bra beneath.
I’d never felt so frumpy in my life. I was suddenly blindingly aware that my body wasn’t what it used to be back before pregnancy and childbirth changed it. I hadn’t been one of those women who barely gained weight and only looked pregnant when they turned to the side. Everything from my toes to my nostrils had swelled. I’d gained more than fifty pounds while I was pregnant, and I had the stretchmarks on my stomach and breasts—even my hips—to prove it.
I lost a lot of the baby weight, but not all, and I was no longer the slim, straight size four I’d once been. My body had permanently changed. I now had an hourglass figure. My hips were wider, my butt and chest bigger. There was no longer a gap between my thighs, and the skin around my middle was looser than it had once been.
I hadn’t thought I looked bad at all, just . . . more womanly. I thought Alex would like the changes to my body, especially considering those changes came from bringing our daughter into the world. But as time passed, his interest in me seemed to be dwindling.
I could feel the distance growing between us with every passing day, and I knew I was partly to blame for it. Ivy was four now, but I’d wanted her for so long that, once she arrived, she’d become all I could see.
I’d dreamed my whole life of being a mother, and after years of trying and failing on our own and with medical assistance, one heartbreaking miscarriage after another, we’d finally gotten our miracle baby. Nothing mattered to me but her wellbeing, and as the years passed, I started to neglect other aspects of my life. Especially my husband.
But that was all going to change.
When I woke up this morning, I’d rolled over to find Alex’s side of the bed already empty and the sheets cold. That was becoming our norm. He got up early, did his thing, and left for work without so much as a note or text.
Used to be, when things were good between us, he couldn’t bring himself to leave for the day without waking me up for a goodbye kiss. Nine times out of ten, that led to hard, fast, dirty sex that left us both breathless and smiling before he inevitably forced himself to break away from me so he could head to work.
I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had a day start off like that, and this morning I woke up missing it terribly. I also woke up with a fire in my belly, determined to get us back to where we used to be.
Hence the babysitter for my daughter and the high-end lingerie store for me.
I’d gotten up and actually took the time to put some care into my appearance. None of my clothes from before Ivy really fit anymore, and Alex was always making off-handed comments about me waiting until I was back to my pre-baby weight before buying anything new, so I had extremely limited wardrobe choices, but did my best. And I thought I’d made it work . . . until Runway Barbie showed up.
Now I was uncomfortably aware that my jeans looked—and felt—glued to my skin, and that I was currently holding them closed with a ponytail holder since I could no longer get the button anywhere near the stupid buttonhole.
“Oh, uh . . . I’m looking for something,” I started lamely. “A surprise for my husband.”
The woman’s smile was warm and inviting. “Ah, very nice. I think I can help you find just the thing.” She bounced from rack to rack, flipping through and pulling off hangers faster than I could process what was happening, all without once asking for my size.
Before I knew what was happening, I was herded toward the fitting rooms at the back of the shop. “I’ve grabbed some things I think would really do the trick and look fantastic on you,” she said breezily as she hung my—her—selections along one of the walls. “Let me know if you need a different size in anything.”
The deep red velvet dres
sing room curtain was slapped shut before I could manage to form a single word.
“What just happened?” I whispered to myself, slowly turning to take in the confines of the small room.
I slowly dragged the hangers back and forth, pleasantly surprised that the sales clerk had picked several pieces that were really pretty.
Stripping out of my ill-fitting clothes, I pulled one of the nighties off its hanger and tried it on. The soft silk was cool against my skin and slipped into place perfectly, proving that the clerk really knew her stuff.
I turned to look at myself in the long, gilded mirror. The nightie was held in place by two thin spaghetti straps. The neckline plunged into a deep V that showed a good amount of cleavage, but the A-line actually did an incredible job of keeping my breasts in place, making them look nice and perky. The hemline didn’t even reach mid-thigh, revealing a lot of leg, and when I turned around to check out the back, sure enough, there was more than a hint of cheek peeking out.
The light, dusky blue of the silk actually looked really nice against my pale complexion, and the peach-colored lace around the hem and bustline complemented my light red hair.
All in all, I thought I looked pretty damn good, but as I stood staring at my reflection, the determination from earlier started to flicker. I felt myself losing steam. A pep-talk was seriously needed, so I pulled my phone from my purse and hit the number on speed dial as I paced my small confines.
The phone rang and rang before voicemail finally kicked in. “Hey, honey,” I spoke. “So, I know this is the third message I’ve left you today, but I could really use my BFF right now. Or, you know . . . whenever you’re available.” I blew out a sigh and looked back at myself in the mirror. “I’m currently standing in the dressing room of a lingerie store, wearing nothing but a skimpy nightie. I need you to tell me if I’m making a mistake, babe. Call me back.”
My shoulders sank as I disconnected and tossed the phone back into my purse. “Well,” I said to my reflection, “looks like you’re in this on your own. Might as well suck it up.”
I spent the next few minutes trying on the rest of the sales clerk’s selections. By the time I walked out of the store half an hour later, I had four new nighties, three bra and panty sets that were a whole hell of a lot better than the stuff I’d been wearing, a new robe, and a teddy I was sure I’d never have the guts to wear but had talked myself into getting anyway. Just in case.
It wasn’t often I had some free time to myself. I decided to take advantage of the beautiful day and, having a babysitter for another two hours, headed to a little bistro a couple blocks down for lunch.
As I made the short walk at a leisurely pace, I thought over my plan again. Alex’s hours had been erratic over the past few months, making it so he usually didn’t get home until well after the sun had gone down and I’d already put Ivy to bed. Usually I hated his late hours and going to bed alone, but I intended to make it work for me tonight.
The plan was, after getting Ivy down, I’d change into one of my newest purchases and wait in bed for my husband to come home so he could unwrap his new gift.
I was feeling good about things, hopeful even, that this would be the start of getting us back to where we once were. Pushing through the door of the bistro, I had a smile on my face and a bit of a swing in my hips as I pictured Alex’s reaction.
My good mood remained in place as the hostess grabbed a menu and led the way to my table. As I followed, my attention drifted, taking in the other diners who were enjoying their meals. I came to stop in the middle of the dining area when I spotted a familiar curtain of dark brown hair at a table near the back.
Krista hadn’t been answering my calls, so it felt somewhat serendipitous that I’d happen to run into my best friend on the day I needed her most. This was the perfect opportunity to show her what I’d bought. I started toward her but jerked to a halt two steps later when I spotted her lunch companion.
The arm I’d been lifting to wave slowly lowered to my side and the smile fell from my lips when I saw him lean in close and press his lips to hers in a kiss that was so not suitable for public.
Realization slammed into me like a wrecking ball. Everything started to make perfect sense. The pieces snapped together like a jigsaw puzzle, revealing a picture I’d been too blind to see before now. Alex’s increasingly late hours, his interest in me waning until almost completely gone, the unexpected business trips out of town . . . and the fact that Krista had been avoiding me more and moee over the last few months.
“Ma’am?” the hostess asked. “Are you okay?”
I absolutely wasn’t.
Because I had just realized my husband and best friend were having an affair.
Chapter One
Hayden
I never thought I’d be in this position: a thirty-three-year-old, freshly-divorced, single mother whose husband had spent the better part of a year banging her best friend behind her back.
In the past few months, I’d taken hit after hit from those two assholes, starting with the fact it hadn’t been just sex: they’d been in an actual relationship. Then there was the hit that came when the man I’d been married to, the man I’d loved with my whole heart, basically laid the demise of our relationship at my feet. I let myself go. I cared about our daughter more than him. I stopped making an effort to look good for him. Basically, it was my fault he no longer found me sexually attractive and had tripped, landing dick-first into another woman. I sustained another hit when he informed me he wasn’t in love with me anymore; he loved Krista and wanted to build a life with her.
But the absolute worst, the hit that burned like lashes across my skin, had come when he confessed that she was pregnant and they intended to marry soon after our divorce was finalized.
Hearing that she’d so easily given him something I’d struggled tirelessly for years to give him, enduring one heartbreak after another before it finally happened, had been devastating.
But that was the past. The life I thought I was destined to live until my last breath was over. The house we’d started our family in was now empty, waiting for its new owners to move in. My girl and I were about to start on a new adventure, but before we could set off, my ex and his new fiancée were enjoying one of their scheduled overnight visits with my baby.
I spent the evening in our little hotel room, trying to distract myself from imagining them playing the perfect little family by slathering on a face mask, giving myself a pedicure, and binging on episodes of The Office and Schitt’s Creek. Unfortunately, none of that worked, and before long my mind started to wander down some not-so-cheery paths.
What few friends I had before everything went down decided to hitch their wagon to Krista, so there was no one I could call to vent to. I hadn’t had a job since before Ivy was born, so there were no co-workers I could confide in. I was well and truly alone, and the knowledge of that was suffocating. It didn’t take long to get sick of my own company, and screaming into my pillow had gotten old really fast. So when the walls felt like they were closing in on me, I grabbed my purse and room key and booked it out of there, heading for the pub a few blocks down from my temporary home.
The air smelled of hops and spice and polished wood when I stepped into the bar. Alex would never set foot in a place like this, and for that reason I immediately found the place charming.
It was nothing like the stuffy wine or tapas bars and five-star restaurants I’d been forced to suffer through with his insufferable colleagues or asshole clients. It was a place where you kicked back with some greasy, carb-loaded bar food and a couple of beers, the latter of which I was in desperate need.
I made my way to the bar. Spotting a stool near the curve on the far end, I hooked my purse and jacket on the back, hefted myself up, leaned my elbows onto the scarred wood top, and looked toward the bartender.
He glanced down the length of the bar and caught my eye when I waved to him, tipping his chin, indicating he’d be with me in just a second.
At the deep, husky voice, I swiveled in my seat to face the man on the barstool beside mine and nearly fell out of my seat at the first glimpse of him. His light brown hair was long on top and cut close on the sides. It looked like the only styling he did was to drag a hand through it to brush it back off his forehead. Stunning grassy green eyes smiled down at me from beneath a thick fan of dark lashes. Those eyes and the man’s sharp cheekbones might have made him look almost too pretty, but his bristly square jaw and Roman nose gave him a rugged appeal. His full, plump lips were turned up in a tiny grin that showed off a perfectly straight smile.
He had the shoulders of a professional linebacker, with thick, rounded biceps that strained the sleeves of his gray Henley. This dude was either one with the gym or had the kind of job that required serious manual labor, but either way, holy God, did he have a body. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen such a good-looking man in real life. On TV and in movies, sure. But never up close and personal in real life. He couldn’t possibly be talking to me.
I glanced over my shoulder, wondering if there was some tall goddess of a woman behind me, but there wasn’t.