by Jennifer Rae
Cash breathed out and opened his eyes. He’d told her he didn’t want to kiss her to stop her thinking that she was able to manipulate him. That kiss was all about control. She wanted it but he wasn’t going to let her have it. He was in charge here and he was just going to forget that kiss. That mind-blowing, incredibly erotic kiss that kept coming back to him at the more inconvenient times. Like right now.
But just as he had pushed Charlie and Jess and the farm and everything else out of his mind to concentrate on work, he would do the same to Faith. Forget about her and her low-cut tops and silky hair and her smile that lit up her face. Work hadn’t let him down once in the past nine years. He’d worked his way to the top. He’d been the superstar. Everyone had listened to him and, for once, Charlie hadn’t swooped in at the last minute to claim all the glory. Cash stood to leave. He had to get back to the office—the phone would be screaming by now.
As he walked Cash focused on the joggers as they bounced past him. He watched them run, wondering if they realised how stupid they looked in their neon clothes and over-priced shoes. Charlie would have laughed at them too. He would have made Cash laugh, pretending to jog all the way to the pub where he would have sat him down and told him to stop being an idiot and go and talk to Faith. Explain everything to her. Charlie had always helped calm him down and sort through things. But Charlie wasn’t there. And soon, Faith would be gone too. He’d told her it was to be her last show. He’d made her feel like he used to feel—as if what she did wasn’t important, as if she wasn’t important. And instead of it making him feel like the man in charge—he was left feeling like the world’s biggest jerk.
* * *
‘He is the world’s biggest jerk.’ Faith was waiting for Betty Boom-Boom to put the final touches on her make-up.
‘Maybe he’s right, Faith. Maybe this stuff is too much for people. He does have a business to run.’
‘Don’t take his side!’
‘I’m not.’ Betty looked at her with her kohl-lined eyes. ‘I’m just saying you don’t know what else is happening in his life. Maybe he’s getting pressure from the bigwigs. You never know what people are dealing with behind closed doors. It could be nothing to do with you.’
Faith folded her arms. No, he was just a jerk. A jerk who kissed like an X-rated dream. A jerk with deep brown eyes that seemed to search her soul, that seemed to see what was there and like her anyway. But he didn’t like her.
‘Why can’t people just say what they mean? Why do you have to always figure out what’s going on in their heads?’
‘Because most of us have been hurt and are afraid of it happening again.’
‘I can’t imagine Cash Anderson ever being hurt. He’s always in control. A master manipulator of people. That’s why they called him back over here from the States—apparently he’s the man who can make anyone do what he wants.’
‘It seems odd, don’t you think?’ mused Betty, swiping her lips with bright red lipstick. ‘He had such a successful career over there—probably earning squillions. Why would he come back here to fix this tiny little Australian station?’
‘I don’t know—maybe he’d run out of women in America.’
Betty laughed and swatted Faith with a feathered fan. ‘I’ve never heard you so cynical before, Faith. You’re usually the eternal optimist. Seeing the good in people. Trusting everyone.’
‘I don’t trust everyone.’
‘Yes, you do. You’re like a child sometimes—always expecting people to treat you the way you treat them. Always expecting everyone to try their best and do good things. You need to hang around here a bit more. Then you’d realise that some people are just not worth it.’
Faith considered Betty’s words. She supposed she was a bit of an optimist. And she did like to be liked, but didn’t everyone? She didn’t want Cash to like her, though. After that kiss she’d spent hours thinking of him. Wondering if he was thinking of her. But when she’d seen him in the boardroom, she’d known he hadn’t been thinking of her at all. All he thought about was advertising dollars and how much money he could make. He hadn’t thought about her. So she was refusing to think about him.
Although stubbornly his face kept creeping into the corner of her mind. The words he spoke to her the other day sounded in her ears—‘You are brave, Faith.’ The way he breathed into her mouth during the tantric session, the feel of his hands on her back as they caressed her bones. The hardness of his chest as he pushed into her and the passionate way he held her wrists when they kissed, as if he’d never let her go. Her stomach swooped. Deep in her core she swelled. She shouldn’t think about these things. She wouldn’t.
‘I’m going for a little wander, Bets—come and find me when you’re ready.’
Faith didn’t want to sit amongst the half-naked women and the idle chatter. She wanted to think. Think about how Betty said you never knew what was going on behind closed doors and think about how Cash could kiss her like that then tell her he didn’t like her. Dismiss her, as if that kiss had been nothing. But to her it wasn’t nothing. She’d felt as if she liked someone as much as they liked her, despite what he said. Faith couldn’t ever remember that happening. In the beginning, she’d thought Mr Turner had liked her—he’d said he did. But he hadn’t. He’d used her and she’d paid for her stupidity with shame, humiliation and expulsion. Since then she’d managed to keep her heart fairly safe. She only kissed men who liked her more than she liked them. That way she wouldn’t get hurt. That way she could control how she felt.
When her phone rang it made her jump. One look at who was calling and her heart started to pound harder.
‘I’m on a job,’ she said without saying hello.
‘Where are you? I need you to come back to the office. I have to bump your show forward—I want it on air tomorrow night. We have a gap.’ Cash sounded impatient.
‘I’ve barely started. I can’t get it done by tomorrow.’
‘I’ll help you. What do you need? Matty’s cricket special has gone pear-shaped and I need to fill the gap.’
Of course—because helping Matty out was more important than producing a quality show.
‘I’m still researching, I haven’t started taping yet.’
‘No problem. Tell me who to call—I’ll help you organise it.’
‘My cameraman is busy with someone else. He won’t be available till tomorrow.’
‘Then I’ll be your cameraman.’
‘No.’
‘I’m not asking, Faith.’
Faith clamped her jaw shut. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to see him and she certainly didn’t want him hanging around with a camera for the next twelve hours. But he was the boss, and she had to keep this job—so she had to let him help even though the words tasted sour coming out of her mouth. ‘Call Miss Kitty. I’ll meet you there in an hour.’
ELEVEN
Miss Kitty let them back into the dungeon and closed the door. Faith had managed to track down two out-of-work actors to play the parts of this particular fantasy and she was glad they were there when Cash turned up.
He’d taken off his tie and rolled up his sleeves so his forearms were showing. Faith flicked her eyes to his golden skin. She remembered the feel of the veins in his arms under her fingers. Her palms tingled at the memory of his soft hairs brushing past her hand and the way his biceps tensed as she ran her hands over them. Right here. In this room. Faith stepped backwards, away from Cash, away from her memories and away from that damn cage that stood in the corner—leering at her, taunting her.
‘OK, Kieran and Julie—over there,’ she ordered as the two scantily clad actors moved to the red sofa in the corner. ‘We’ll just finish setting up the lighting then I want you, Kieran, to get on top of Julie and pin her arms down.’
Cash was silent as he busied himself with the
lighting and set up the camera. He seemed to know what he was doing.
‘Not your first time taping sex?’ she asked, keen to get the upper hand by letting him know she definitely didn’t have any butterflies when he looked at her.
‘It is actually, but not my first time behind the camera. I started out as a cameraman.’
Faith stopped plumping the cushion. She hadn’t known that. ‘You did?’
‘Yes, for the regional news in outback Queensland. A mate of mine was the reporter and he asked me to come and hold the camera one day. I liked it so I made it my job.’
‘You lived in outback Queensland?’ Cash was a city boy. Suits, slick hair, expensive shoes. She couldn’t imagine him as a rough and ready outback cowboy. But then again, with his tanned forearms and his hair a little tousled... She squinted—imagining him on a horse. Maybe she could.
‘My father owned a sheep station. I was planning to spend my life as a sheep farmer until...’
‘Until you picked up a camera.’
‘Yes.’ His answer was short and he looked away. ‘Until then.’
Faith knew he wasn’t telling the truth. She could tell in the way his neck went stiff and he busied himself with the cords. There was something he wasn’t telling her, but she refused to care what it was. He didn’t even like her.
‘Should we get on with this? We have another five to tape after this, don’t we?’ His impenetrable wall was back up.
‘Yes, of course.’ Faith turned back to Kieran, who was trying to manoeuvre himself on top of a bored-looking Julie.
‘Now, Kieran, you have to look like you’re in charge. This fantasy is all about domination. You are an alpha male—you want her to do everything you say.’
Kieran didn’t look much like an alpha male. His physique was spot on, but his hair was too perfect and he looked awkward propped up on his hands over Julie.
‘No, no—not like that. Julie, you have to look like you’re into him. You need to be a little more animal, Kieran—bare your teeth.’ Kieran moved his gums to show off a row of straight white, perfect teeth. He looked as if he were in a toothpaste commercial.
‘No, not like that. Get up, Julie.’ With visible relief, Julie extracted herself from Kieran’s embrace and Faith took up her spot. She lay back on the pillow and lifted one leg to curl around Kieran’s.
‘You’re a vampire, Kieran. You’re about to bite my neck. You want to taste my blood. Feel the desire.’
Kieran’s face screwed up and Faith thought he looked a little as if he were trying to pass wind.
‘Tense your arms, hold my wrists, put your lips close to my neck. Wait.’ This wasn’t working. Faith lifted her hands to tousle Kieran’s perfect hair. ‘Better. Now hold me down.’
Kieran’s grip was limp. So limp Faith’s wrists slipped through it.
‘No, Kieran. Harder.’ Kieran let out a frustrated sigh.
‘I don’t get it.’
‘Get out of the way.’ Cash’s voice was deep and gruff and before Faith could get up Cash had pushed Kieran out of the way and was on top of her.
‘There’s not much to get, Kieran. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world.’ His body was warm above her; he pushed his hips down until they were touching hers. Until they were hard against hers. Faith’s breathing had stopped when Cash leapt on top of her. He was too close, too big and a little too real.
‘She smells like honey and her lips are swollen—as if she can’t wait to kiss you.’ Faith’s lips pulsed. He brought his face closer as his big hands encircled her wrists and pushed them down hard.
‘You want her,’ he growled. His breath was hot as it passed her face and moved down to her neck. Faith arched her neck a little, allowing him to move closer. It brought her breasts up to meet his chest and her nipples hardened at the feel of him, breathing in and out against her. ‘But you can’t have her.’ His voice had become quieter and deeper. Faith could feel it vibrate through her.
‘She is a woman who needs to be controlled. She wants you to show her you’re the man. You’re in charge.’
Cash pushed Faith’s wrists harder into the sofa and the movement made her let out a small noise. It brought Cash’s eyes back to hers. There they were. Dark. Soft and beautiful. They stared into hers. She could see it. She could feel it. He had to be able to feel it this time. The slight curve to his lips vanished as they stared at each other for a heartbeat. ‘She wants you to dominate her. She wants you to take responsibility.’
His voice was low and she suspected she was the only person in the room who heard it. But she was sure she was the only person in the room who felt it. Deep down in her stomach. Him being on top of her was doing things to her body and her mind. They were both melting. He was taking responsibility. He was helping her and something like relief made her body slump. She shifted a leg, curled it around him and he released her wrist to push her leg down again.
‘Don’t let her do anything. You’re in charge. She does what you want.’ His eyes didn’t leave hers. The room heaved with tension; even Kieran and Julie remained silent. Faith didn’t know what to do. She wanted to stay where she was. He was so strong and a little animalistic. Even more in charge than she’d ever seen him and despite the fact that she hated herself for it—it was turning her on.
‘Run your fingers through her hair, make her think you’re being gentle.’ Cash’s hands snaked through Faith’s hair and her scalp tingled. ‘Then show her who’s in charge.’ He gripped her hair and pulled gently. It didn’t hurt, but Faith felt completely at his mercy. Right then he could do whatever he wanted to her and there was nothing she could do about it. And she didn’t hate it.
But this wasn’t her fantasy, she reminded herself. She hated being at the mercy of anyone; she hated needing anything from anyone. But when she looked into Cash’s eyes she didn’t see anything to fear there. She trusted him.
Which was what she’d done last time, she reminded herself, and look how that had ended up.
Faith struggled against Cash’s hands. For a moment, she knew he thought it was part of the act but when she gritted her teeth and told him to let her up he released her immediately. She slid out from underneath him.
‘Then, when we’re done,’ she explained in her best director’s voice, ‘it’s your turn to dominate him, Julie.’ Faith shifted herself and pushed Cash between her thighs. Now she was astride him with his head propped up and able to see her clearly. He looked shocked.
Faith tightened the grip of her thighs on his torso; she felt the muscles there hard beneath her. Heat pulsed through her but she ignored it. She ran her hands up and over his chest, her eyes still connected to his, and was satisfied to feel him tense beneath her touch and see his eyes open a little wider. Good, she hoped he was uncomfortable.
‘This time you’re in charge and he has to do everything you say.’ Faith slid her hands up Cash’s broad shoulders and out to his wrists. She ignored the feeling of his muscles as they bulged underneath her hands. They were just muscles. When she met his palms, she expected him to stay still and tense but when her fingers met his they curled possessively around hers. Interlocking in a way that felt wrong but at the same time perfectly right. Faith pushed his hands down hard and squeezed, hoping to hurt him. ‘His job is to worship you and your body. You have to make him focus on one thing. You.’ Faith held his eyes steady. Every now and again his eyes would shift to her lips but she’d dip her head and make him look at her again.
‘Tease him. Make him think you’re going to give in.’ Faith dipped her head and her lips mere millimetres from his. His hands gripped hers tighter and his breathing became slightly laboured. She shifted a little and felt his erection hard against her. His chest lifted and fell and his head shifted a little as if trying to get closer. She moved back, staying just out of reach. She was in charge here. She felt like a woman. A
woman who had a man completely in her power and she liked it.
‘Then take it away.’ She sat up quickly and the air that had seemed so thick seconds ago suddenly cleared. Faith pulled her hands from his grip and swung her leg off Cash, who was still lying exactly where she’d left him.
‘Do you get it now, Kieran?’
Faith didn’t walk to the camera, she swaggered.
TWELVE
‘Thanks for helping me back there,’ said Faith. Kieran and Julie had packed up and left. They had only been able to stay for two hours and luckily they had all the footage they needed. Cash had even sweet-talked Kitty onto camera—heavily disguised, of course. Cash was curling up the cables and hauling heavy lights over his shoulder. Faith looked away. She remembered his strength when he pinned her wrists down. She wouldn’t have been able to move if she’d wanted to. She should have been scared or intimidated, but she hadn’t been. It had felt good not to think, to let someone else take charge for a change.
‘You don’t have to do all this on your own, you know,’ he said as Faith picked up a roll of cables.
‘Of course I do. If I didn’t write it and research it and organise everything it wouldn’t get done.’
Cash stopped what he was doing. ‘You do all this on your own every time?’
‘Yes.’
‘I thought you had Veronica as your assistant.’
‘No, she helps Matty. And the person they assigned to help me research left so I do it on my own.’
‘Why didn’t you say anything?’
Faith shrugged. She was used to working on her own. The people she’d had working with her over the last two years had often started out excited about being a part of her show until they’d found out how much hard work it was. Then they’d left. She’d always been left to do everything herself. ‘I don’t mind.’
