by Jennifer Rae
‘Let me make love to you, Faith.’
Her chest was full and she didn’t know what to say. No one had ever said that to her before. She’d never felt more important.
Panic spread across her. He seemed so intent, so focused. ‘Are you sure we should be doing this?’
His eyes were dark. ‘Yes.’ No indecision laced his words. Confident. Sure. He knew what he wanted and at the sound of that one word, with unfamiliar simplicity, so did she. He unbuttoned her top and let it slide off her shoulders, his eyes moving across her body as he did it. She could see his hunger. He wanted her. Really wanted her.
‘You’re gorgeous,’ he said simply before pulling her up and on top of him and she felt him hard and ready against her. A sharp breath filled her lungs.
His face was hard and angular beneath her and she realised she wanted him to bare himself to her as she was doing to him. ‘Make love to me, Cash.’
He shifted his hips until she tipped off him. Using his arms to hold her steady, he moved her expertly beneath him so he was hovering above her, one knee either side her. Then, before she could resist, he held her hands above her head. Faith gasped her approval.
‘This is my fantasy, Faith. You.’ His voice was a growl. An animalistic demand and she reacted to it instinctively, pushing her chest forward, her nipples responding to the hardness of his chest. He noticed her impatience and dipped his head to kiss her neck. He breathed her in and it made her feel as if he was using every opportunity to remember her. As if there was nothing else but him and her and he wanted to experience all of it. Her heart beat faster in her chest. Stay calm, she schooled herself. You won’t fall. He won’t hurt you. You can let him in; you can let him know. You will be fine.
‘Please, Cash.’ Her voice shook a little.
His lips trailed from underneath her ear to her shoulder and he nipped at her skin through the thin fabric of the shirt she was wearing. She shivered in coiled anticipation. He was in no hurry and she didn’t want him to be. She wanted this to last for ever.
‘Do you want me to beg?’ she asked. He looked up at her from where he was kissing her shoulder and smiled the most decadent, wicked smile she’d seen on his lips yet.
‘No. I want you to enjoy it.’ His hands moved to her bra and he pulled it aside to pay attention to her now aching breasts. She sighed gratefully as he unclipped it and pulled it off her hot skin and off her body. Then he pulled down her jeans and the small black panties she had on before she reached up to unbutton his shirt.
He stood and she watched as he slipped the stiff shirt off over his head, most of the buttons still intact. His shoulders were wide and the muscles in them corded and straining. Hard, powerful, golden shoulders. Broad shoulders that could take anything. His lips fell hungrily to her skin. He kissed down her neck and to her breast, where he paused before taking the hard bud in his mouth. Licking and sucking until she wanted to scream out. She put both her hands on the back of his head to keep him where he was and moaned in appreciation of his efforts. He stood again to slip off his jeans and boxers and she watched him jutting out hard and ready and she wanted him more than ever.
She was naked now and more exposed to him than she’d ever been to anyone. The light was still on so she could see everything that was happening. Somehow that turned her on even more. Her being exposed to him and him to her like this was exhilarating and strangely freeing. She could see him and she wanted him to see her. She wanted to keep the memory of this night in her mind for ever.
His fingertips grazed her skin as they moved lazily down her body to find the soft skin of her inner thigh.
‘Cash...’ The word was a warning, but she wasn’t sure what of. Only that with every touch she fell deeper and deeper under his control.
She bucked and shivered and his mouth moved into a smile at her breast. He flicked his eyes back up to hers as he continued to kiss down her body all the while his fingers drew lazy circles on her thigh. She tried to grip his hair but it was too short so she gripped the bed instead.
‘I need to know what you like.’ His voice, raw and needy, vibrated through her stomach where he was kissing her just above her navel.
‘I like this. I like everything you do,’ she tried to say but her voice was slightly strangled.
He kissed her again, across her ribs and down to the soft mound of her belly. Then his other hand came up and his thumb traced a line right to her most swollen and sensitive centre and she bucked again, throwing her head back.
‘I can’t promise I’ll be gentle, not when you make noises like that.’ He paused and watched her before pressing a gentle kiss right where his thumb had been and Faith called out.
‘Don’t be gentle,’ she begged.
The air changed. Everything that had been slow and careful was now fast and furious. He slid his body up until he reached her mouth and kissed her hard. She met his aggression and put her hands behind his head, drawing him closer. Faith moved her hands down to his stomach and traced her fingers over his muscles before looking down to see him hard and free and proud. She took him in. All of him. Every silky, thick, long inch of him and lust licked all around her. His eyes devoured her body as she watched him and he fell on top of her again, kissing and licking and rubbing his hands over the place his lips were about to touch. His mouth teased and tempted until she couldn’t wait any longer.
‘Wait. Condom.’
Cash seemed to come out of a daze at her comment, but he stopped.
‘I don’t...’
‘A sex journalist should be prepared for any situation.’ She smiled as she slid from underneath him to race inside and retrieve the box from the drawer next to her bed. She’d got it out of a goodie bag from Sexpo, which she covered on her website last year. Thank God for Sexpo.
She leaned back and resumed her position before ripping the foil open with her teeth. Cash stopped to watch. He reached out to take it from her but she pulled her hands away.
‘Uh-uh. I get to do this.’ But her smile faded when a bright fluoro-green condom slipped out of the pack. He raised an eyebrow and her stomach flipped at the sight of it, but she didn’t care what colour the condom was. She needed him inside her. Now.
Sucking her bottom lip in between her teeth, she placed the condom on the tip of him. He was big. Bigger than anyone she’d ever seen, satiny smooth skin over hard steel. Just looking at it was making all the blood in her body rush right to her core. Slowly and carefully she unravelled the bright green condom, letting her fingers caress him as she pushed the protection down. A hiss escaped from Cash’s lips and she barely got to the bottom when he fell on top of her, pushing her hands away.
The smile had disappeared from his lovely mouth and he ran his eyes up her body to hers.
‘We do this slowly this time and you come first.’ Then he moved his hot body over her, his skin hot against hers, positioning himself above her, the bright green tip of him pressing at her core. She pushed her hips up, begging, trying to get what she needed.
‘Easy now,’ he rumbled and he eased himself closer. She hadn’t had time before to notice anything but now she noticed everything. The way his eyes had gone darker. The way his voice was lower and scraped across her skin. The way his skin felt, smooth and hot—his hard muscles tense against her. His mouth caught hers in an all-consuming kiss and she breathed in every essence of him. The masculine scent of his skin mingled with the tang of his cologne, the hardness of his muscles in his back against her fingers and the thickness of him as he eased himself closer were making her shiver.
‘Wait.’ She had to push on his chest. He stilled. He wasn’t in a rush. He was giving her time to get used to his size and he waited, his hands either side of her. She ran her hands over the backs of his arms, feeling the tense muscles.
‘Give me a second,’ she breathed.
‘Concentrate.’
His deep voice was laced with command and she looked up at him. He moved one hand to her belly and stroked before moving further down to find the hard nub that was now throbbing. He let his fingers work in lazy circles as she moved her hips, closing her eyes and letting her tongue trace her upper lip. He moved closer and she gasped, pushing her hands into his chest again so he stopped as she adjusted to the fullness she’d just taken before without appreciating.
‘I’m ready.’
With an uncontrollable smile she relaxed and he pushed further. He moved slowly and easily rocking and thrusting until he drove her to the point where pleasure became pain and pain became pleasure and she burst. She gripped his back and pulled him closer and he answered, thrusting harder and faster and giving her everything she wanted until the pressure built and expanded again and she peaked around him again.
Cash knew it would take every ounce of self-control to hold back. He watched her tongue as it licked against her top lip and her eyes as they closed as if lost. Then she opened them and focused on him again and holding back became harder. She moved against him, lifting her hips to him and bringing him back down towards her and the heat in his body turned liquid. Then, when she came the second time and her fingernails scratched against his back he abandoned his control and let himself go, riding the invisible wave of madness with her.
When he opened his eyes he found her shivering in his arms. Her eyes met his and he watched her. Taking in the pink of her cheeks and the way her hair had unwound itself and was now spread across her shoulders. Her chest heaved and she clung to him, keeping her skin pressed against his. The steady beat of his heart was against her chest and he could feel the matching rhythm in hers. He wanted to remember everything about her. He wanted to remember the way she looked and the smell of her skin and the way she tasted because he knew she’d soon be gone and it would be over.
A throaty laugh escaped her mouth and his body heated at the sound of it. ‘Now don’t tell me that was just sex,’ she said, her voice all breathy and ragged.
He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out except a grunt. His shoulders shook as he strained to hold himself up and off her.
‘What’s that? The great Cash Anderson lost for words? That would be a first.’
He brought his hand around to her backside and pulled her closer to him. She gasped and he smiled down at her in satisfaction.
She looked up at him, all blue eyes and eyelashes. Her mouth came closer and those soft pink lips met his in a deep, alarmingly erotic kiss. His body responded the way it always did around this woman. It grew bigger, taller and stronger. He pulled her even closer, wondering for a fleeting second how he was going to let her go.
‘I don’t always need to use words to express how I feel.’
She drew away and slid him a glance, her mouth spread in a satisfied smile. ‘Then I think you better stop talking and do that again.’
TWENTY-FIVE
When Faith woke up Cash’s big, heavy arm lay on her thigh. She could feel the tickle of his black hairs against her skin. It felt strange to wake up there in the arms of a man. She’d never taken a man back to her apartment. That had always been her place, her sanctuary, but Cash seemed so right there. But maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea. Now that they’d done more than have ‘just sex’ she wondered how she was going to cope if this became more. A boyfriend. A proper boyfriend. She hadn’t even considered that. What the hell did one do with a boyfriend?
Faith shifted a little, testing to see whether he was awake. But he said nothing and didn’t move. She shifted again and reached for her phone that was sitting on the side table. She almost had it when he pushed against her. Hard and ready. Again. A strange warm feeling showered across her shoulders and down into her belly. He seemed to not be able to get enough of her and that made her feel good. As if he needed her. No one had ever needed her.
She needed to untangle herself, get into the shower and think.
Carefully she shifted her leg and pushed her body forward. Better to leave without waking him. She wasn’t ready to face him yet. Wasn’t ready to face what had happened between them. And she knew without any doubt that what they’d done last night definitely wasn’t just sex. She managed to get one toe out before a large and heavy arm snaked around her waist.
‘Morning.’ Cash’s sleepy, deep voice made her stop where she was.
‘It’s late. I need a shower.’
She tried to pull away but he pulled her in closer and kissed the back of her neck. Pinpricks of pleasure shot through her neck and down her spine. She closed her eyes and rolled her neck back, enjoying the warmth of his big body and those mind-numbing kisses.
Faith turned and looked at his face. His eyes were closed and he looked much younger lying there, comfortable between her white sheets.
‘I can feel you looking at me, you know,’ his deep, sleepy voice mumbled. Faith smiled. She needed to feel him again. She snuggled back down into the bed and he slung a large, warm arm around her before opening his eyes. His eyes were even more beautiful in the morning. Soft and sleepy, half open and fixed on her.
* * *
‘Are you all right?’ The tenderness in his voice surprised her. She met his steady gaze. He smiled and lifted his hand to rub a thumb over her eyebrow. ‘Are you...feeling all right?’
‘I feel good. Thanks to you.’
His eyes flicked to hers and his smile faltered. ‘I was a little rough with you.’
Faith remembered the size of him and the gentle way he eased himself in as if he knew he’d be a tight fit. Then she remembered the way he lost control and thrust harder and harder until his head dropped and his body shook. Something hot and deep curled in her belly.
‘Maybe I like it a little rough.’
He didn’t smile. ‘Really, are you all right?’
She moved her arm and propped her elbow up to rest her head on her hand. His eyes travelled down to her chest. Then he smiled and looked back.
‘I’ve tackled meaner people than you and lived to tell the tale.’
‘Who’s been mean to you? Tell me where they live and I’ll sort them out.’
Faith laughed and felt the comfort of his words even though she knew he was joking. To think that there was someone who was willing to stick up for her made her feel amazing but frightened all at once.
‘They live back in England. Most of them. Probably mothers now with little girls of their own to train to push people around.’
He propped himself up on one arm and shot her a direct look. ‘Girls at school were mean to you?’
Faith shrugged. ‘It was boarding school. Everyone was mean to one another at some stage. You’re away from home. You’re sad. You’re lonely. It takes its toll.’
Cash lifted a hand to push a strand of hair out of Faith’s eyes and her breath hitched. His tenderness still surprised her and so did the look in his eyes. ‘It doesn’t make it right. I’m sorry that happened to you.’
‘It’s not your fault.’
‘No, but I’m still sorry it happened. I’m sorry there were people who made you feel you weren’t as brilliant and beautiful as you are.’
His tenderness made her stomach buzz. The feeling of pushing too hard and ruining everything bubbled up in her. She didn’t want him to care for her like this. She didn’t want his words to make her feel so cared for.
‘It wasn’t that bad,’ she lied, looking away—knowing that if he saw her eyes he’d know the truth. He’d know that every day she was at school she felt sickening fear and horrible homesickness. She’d longed for a friend. She’d been desperate to get out, run away but she couldn’t. She’d been trapped and lonely and sad. But that was over. That was her past. He was here now and he wasn’t going anywhere. She looked back into his eyes. Or was he?
‘So what now? You and me...what ha
ppens now?’ It was then she saw it. Hesitation. A slight pause that ripped through her ferociously. Doubt. ‘I mean...obviously...breakfast...what do you want? I make a mean blueberry pancake.’ She moved away, meaning to get out. Away from the uncertainty in his eyes. Of course this wasn’t going to last. Of course this was just a short-term thing.
‘Faith, wait. There’s something I have to tell you.’
And here it was. Faith’s breathing became harder. She pulled away, out of his grasp, and reached for her dressing gown. She planted a smile on her face.
‘You don’t like pancakes?’
Cash sat up and the sheet fell away to reveal his muscled torso. She wanted to touch it. Touch him and lick him as she’d done last night. She wanted to feel his strong arms around her, pulling her close. Kissing her as if it were the last day on earth.
‘I had a call from Gordon Grant yesterday afternoon. Before I came over.’
Faith’s smile faded. She didn’t want to talk about work; she wanted to know how he felt. She wanted to know what was going to happen next.
‘He wants to keep your show on.’
Faith’s throat dried up.
‘He does?’
‘Yes.’ Cash’s eyes didn’t leave hers. ‘But he wants you on the English station.’
Something cold washed over her. He wanted her to go back to England? A month ago this news would have given her all sorts of satisfaction. Being able to go home and show everyone that she’d made it? Put on the show the other stations wouldn’t touch? But right now, as Cash lay naked in her bed she didn’t want to go anywhere. The only place she wanted to be was here.
‘I don’t know if that’s a good idea.’
‘Why not? It means you can keep your show on.’ Cash wasn’t touching her. Caution fired her skin to stand on end. Why was he keeping his distance? Was this his ‘get out of jail free’ card? His way of getting rid of her without telling her? Was last night ‘just sex’ for him after all?
