Highland Savage

by Hannah Howell

  His mind quickly returned to the problem of her retching. He had been living with Katerina for weeks and she had shown no sign of having a sensitive stomach. In fact there were a few times when he had expected her to suffer from what she ate, not because the food was spoiled but because of what she ate together. As far as Lucas was concerned there were just some foods that should never be put into one’s mouth or stomach at the same time.

  The latch on the door was wriggled and he tensed, but then recalled that Katerina had secured the latch. For a moment he remained still, knowing she did not want anyone to learn that he had come to her bed. It would be a lot easier to explain a locked door than a naked man in her bed.

  “M’lady, I have brought ye your dry toasted bread and some weak cider. ’Tis what Annie says ye have every morning. Shall I just leave it here by the door?”

  Dry toasted bread and weak cider? Lucas thought. There was something familiar about that filled his head with alarums. He eased out of the bed, donned his braies and his shirt, and went to the door. He recognized Megan’s voice and felt he could trust the woman not to tell the whole keep about him being in Katerina’s room. As quietly as he could, he opened the door and held a finger to his lips to silence Megan. She stared at him wide-eyed for a moment then appeared to be biting back a grin as she handed him the tray. Lucas stared at the unappetizing fare and then looked back at Megan, who was not even trying to hide her grin this time.

  “Ye willnae say anything, will ye?” he asked.

  “Wheesht, I am nay a rattle-tongue,” she said.

  “I didnae think so.” He looked at the tray again and shrugged. “Weel, thank ye for taking o’er Annie’s chores for now.”

  “’Tis my pleasure, laird.”

  Before he could correct her and tell her that he was not a laird and, God willing, would not become the laird of Donncoill for many a long year, she had hurried away down the hall. Suddenly realizing that he was standing in the hall half-dressed where anyone might see him, Lucas quickly ducked back into Katerina’s bedchamber. He shut the door with his hip and took the tray to the small table near the bed. Shedding his clothes, he crawled back into bed and took Katerina back into his arms.

  After a few moments of fruitlessly trying to go back to sleep, Lucas looked at the tray again. There was something he needed to remember but it was proving to be an elusive memory. Dry toasted bread. He frowned. He realized it was his brother Artan who had mentioned it, but Lucas was sure Artan would never accept such fare to break his fast. He tensed. Cecily, Artan’s wife, had eaten such fare every morning for several months as it seemed to ease her morning nausea. Morning nausea. Not wine. Not bad food. A child. Katerina was carrying his child and she had obviously known it for a while.

  It took every ounce of willpower he had not to shake her awake and demand the truth. Lucas took several deep breaths to calm himself. He recognized that he was hurt that she had not told him and decided he better be rid of that emotion before he faced her again. There were some good reasons for her to have remained silent. To be fair, he did not know how long she had known. She could still be trying to decide what she should do, even worrying over how he might react Those fears he could ease. The others would have to be soothed as she confessed them.

  And they would deal with them after they were married. His child would carry his name. Lucas had the sinking feeling he faced a battle, but he would win. Whatever problems they had could be dealt with after they got married. He knew he would get no sleep now and so he held her, waiting for her to wake up, and sorted through what he had to do in order to marry her.

  The first thing he would do was write to his brother Artan. Artan had dealt with a reluctant wife and now had a good marriage. Although it galled him to have to look to Artan for advice, especially about women, Lucas knew he would rather it was his twin he had to confess his trouble to than any other one in his family. He just hoped Artan had a few sensible answers.

  Katerina woke up and wondered if she was having a dream. She could vaguely recall waking up with her cheek pressed against this very same chest not all that long ago. She struggled to recall the rest of that dream, or memory. When she recalled emptying her belly into a bucket as she had done nearly every morning for too long, she also recalled Lucas there. If this was a memory, then she had not welcomed his assistance, even grudgingly accepting his holding her hair and getting her water to rinse out her mouth. The way he had bathed her face with cool water had been a kindness she had not expected and then he had held her until she fell asleep. Now it all made sense. Unfortunately, it meant that Luca was still in her bedchamber and that he had been a witness to her illness.

  Well, she thought as she braced herself to look at him, he was a man and men did not understand that much about the workings of a woman’s body. Katerina was sure she could think of something that would explain away her illness. Then she looked up, saw the look in his very silver eyes, and the smile she had started to give him froze right on her face.

  “When is the bairn due?” he asked.

  Obviously some men took the time to learn a few things, she thought and knew she ought to find that a good thing. At the moment she wanted to kick him. “I dinnae ken.”

  “Katerina, I hope ye arenae going to try and tell me that ye arenae carrying my child.”

  She had considered it, but was not about to admit to that.

  “Ye are sick in the morning, retching as if ye are trying to bring up all your innards and have a look at them. Then, despite looking like a corpse, ye crawl back into bed and sleep like the dead for a few hours. Now ye are awake and ye look just fine. Also your lady Megan brought ye some dry toasted bread and weak cider. I recently heard about this sort of appalling breakfast. It was all my brother Artan’s wife could hold down in the morning until her nausea passed.”

  “Weel, I guess I am with child then,” she muttered as she reached for her dry toasted bread wondering if any man had made a woman feel quite so wretched. A corpse, he said. “I wasnae too sure about it until the last week. Kept thinking it was because of all that has happened during the last few weeks. That would upset anyone’s belly.”

  Lucas tried not to look too disgusted as she crunched her way through the dry toasted bread and sipped her weak cider. “Then our bairn shouldnae be born too early and raise too many questions about our marriage.” He waited, knowing it would not be that easy.

  Katerina felt her heart jump with excitement and joy only to come thudding down in the next breath. He wanted the child. He had never spoken of marriage before, not even when he had been courting her a year ago. She had only assumed it. This time, because he had been staying around and apparently courting her again, she had begun to think he was wooing her with an eye toward marriage. But, now, as he finally spoke of the thing she seemed to have been waiting for forever, it was because she carried his child. She had a strong urge to kick him right out of her bed.

  “I dinnae see any reason for us to be married.”

  “That bairn is a verra good reason.”

  She looked at his finger pointing at her stomach and then noticed that she was still naked. Cursing softly, she got out of bed, dragging the blanket along to cover herself, and hunted for her shift Finding it draped over the chest at the far end of the room, she tried putting it on without dropping the blanket Irritated beyond words when that proved impossible she just dropped the blanket, yanked on her shift, and turned to glare at him.

  “Out of here,” she said. “I dinnae want to get married for a bairn. This bairn is a Haldane and that is good enough.”

  Realizing that she was in no mood to discuss the matter sensibly, Lucas got out of bed and finished dressing. “That bairn is a Murray and it might be a son. If it is, ’tis an heir to Donncoill. Ye might wish to think of what ye are denying him by being so stubborn.”

  “He is also the heir to Dunlochan,” she snapped.

  Knowing he was growing angry as well, Lucas opened the door and looked back at her. “
I will start planning the marriage as I think ye might have a few wits in your bonnie head and will decide I am right and that we should be married. No need to delay it all while ye sulk.”

  A look came into her eyes that told Lucas this was one of those times when retreat was in order. He stepped into the hall and shut the door. When he turned around he found William, Patrick, and Robbie all staring at him. Lucas just glared at them, daring them to say something.

  “A wee bit of trouble with the lass?” asked William.

  Lucas sighed. He should have known that William would not be intimidated. “I have told her that we will be married as soon as possible.”

  “Ye told her?”

  “Aye, and she isnae being verra cooperative.”

  “I cannae imagine why when ye told her what she must do.”

  “She is carrying my bairn.” He jumped slightly when something heavy slammed into die door behind him. Katerina obviously did not like him telling anyone. “I dinnae see any reason to wait.”

  William frowned at the door. “Still, ye might have tried to be a wee bit, weel, romantic.”

  “I have been wooing the woman for a month or more and I dinnae think she has e’en noticed. ’Tis clear that I dinnae have the knack. Fine. I am verra good at giving orders. Now, if ye will excuse me, I need to clean up, write a letter to my brother, and then speak to the priest.”

  After watching Lucas walk away, William stared at the door. “So, Cousin, are ye really with bairn?” He took a cautious step back when the door opened. The way Katerina was glaring at him made him seriously consider leaving, quickly. “I think we had best have us a wee talk.”

  “Wheesht, ye are a brave mon, William,” murmured Patrick even as he hurried away, a grinning Robbie right behind him.

  “I really do think we need to talk, Cousin,” William said.

  Katerina rolled her eyes but waved him into her room. She really did not want to talk about it but should have guessed that William, who considered himself the head of the Haldane family, was obviously prepared to be the elder now. She finished lacing up her gown as she waited for him to decide what he wanted to say.

  “I ken that ye dinnae like orders, but I think ye must heed this one.”

  “Why? Because he wants the bairn?”

  “Wheesht, lass, ye have to ken that he wants ye, too. The mon could have been home by now. He certainly wasnae lurking about here because ye were welcoming him into your bed.”

  She gaped at him. “Does everyone ken my business?”

  “Verra little is secret round here, Cousin. Now, are ye going to tell me ye dinnae want the mon? Because if ye do, I will be verra disappointed.” He shrugged. “I had ne’er realized ye thought me lacking in wits.”

  Katerina sat down on the chest at the foot of the bed. “Aye, of course I want him. I have wanted him from the moment I first saw him. But I want him to want to spend the rest of his life with me nay my womb. He didnae e’en ask. He just told me that we would be married.”

  “Nay, that wasnae weel done of him but might I ask how he found out?” William studied her for a moment “Ye are nay showing so I cannae think that is it”

  “Nay, I fear he was still here when it was time for me to hang my head o’er a bucket.” She saw his lips twitch. “If ye laugh, I will throw something at ye.”

  “And then he told ye that the two of ye would be married?”

  “Only after I had crawled to bed and slept for a few hours. Oh, and Megan brought in my dry toasted bread and weak cider. ’Tis all I can manage to hold down. Then I woke up and he was there watching me and daring me to tell him I wasnae with bairn.”

  William nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed nearest her, reaching out to lightly tug at her hair. “He found out whilst ye were asleep. Probably started to add up the sickness and the toasted bread and I suspect he thought ye werenae intending to tell him. That can make a mon angry, lass, especially if he cares for the woman.”

  “We dinnae ken if Lucas cares for me or nay.”

  “He is a seasoned warrior, Cousin, yet we had to fight to keep him from running right off to get ye like some crazed berserker. A mon doesnae act as crazed as he did if he doesnae care. Mayhap he doesnae feel as ye want him to yet, but that doesnae mean he willnae. Ye are carrying his child, he is the heir to Donncoill, and if the child is a boy, then he becomes an heir. ’Tis no small thing for a mon. He will make ye a fine husband.”

  “But he is the heir to Donncoill and I must stay here at Dunlochan.”

  That is for ye and your mon to discuss, lass, but I ask ye to think on this—I am a bastard and I promise ye, it isnae a nice thing to be. E’en the church has doubts about ones like me. If ye have this child without marrying Lucas, he will be a bastard. So, one thing ye may need to learn if ye decide to nay marry Sir Lucas is how to fix broken noses, for your wee laddie will be getting into a lot of fights.”

  She sighed after William left. He was right She had seen all too clearly how hard life was for William and his siblings. For reasons she had never been able to understand, the child was often treated as if his bastardy was all his own fault. She placed a hand over her stomach. She could not allow that to happen to her child.

  A knock sounded on her door and she silently cursed. It did not really surprise her to find Annie there. The fact that Annie did not look very sympathetic did annoy her a little. It was not as if she got herself with child on purpose or all by herself.

  “Ye have been sent by Robbie, havenae ye,” she said as she waved Annie to a seat by the fire and shut the door before joining her.

  “He thought ye might be tired of being ordered about by men,” Annie said.

  “So now I am to be ordered about by women?”

  Annie just grinned. “Weel, Hilda has threatened to come up and knock some sense into ye with one of her cooking tools. She just isnae sure which one yet.”

  “They already ken about this down in the kitchen?”

  “I think some people heard ye and Lucas talking.”

  “Yelling.”

  “Weel, aye, ye were rather loud.” Annie leaned forward and grasped Katerina’s hands. “Marry him. Marry him because ye love him and ye dinnae want to sleep alone and he will make a wonderful father.”

  “And why is he marrying me?”

  “I cannae say, but then why has he lingered here? Ye werenae exactly encouraging him. ’Tis something ye shall have to sort out after ye are married.”

  That really isnae the best thing to do.”

  “Ye start out with far more than many women, especially one like ye—an heiress. Most of those marriages are arranged and the lass doesnae get much say at all in who she ends up with. Ye have had far more freedom. Ye have chosen Lucas. Aye, mayhap he has finally said the word marriage because of the bairn, but I think that has been his aim right from the start. He just isnae verra good at wooing a lass. Also, if ye havenae spoken of love, he may be reticent to speak what is in his heart.”

  “I suppose ye are all right and of course I dinnae really wish Hilda to come and hit me with a spoon or pan, do I.”

  Annie laughed and, despite all her troubles, Katerina did as well.

  Lucas sat at the worktable in the ledger room pretending he was studying the plans for a new stable. Instead he was wondering, yet again, why Katerina was being stubborn about marrying him. He knew he had handled it all wrong but when she woke up and looked at him so warily, the anger he had thought he had controlled had flared back to life. Now he was planning a marriage and did not yet know if the bride would attend. Artan would laugh himself sick over this.

  The door to the room slowly opened and he tensed. Katerina walked in and his heart sank because she didnot look like a happy, willing bride. He told himself sternly that so long as she said yes, he would be satisfied. He would have her back in his bed again and they could grow closer together as they waited for their child.

  He stood up and offered her the chair that faced the worktable. When he offered h
er a drink, she just shook her head, and so he sat down facing her. Lucas felt awkward and he hated the feeling. Then she looked right at him and he relaxed a little although he did not know why. She looked irritated.

  “Ye are the heir to Donncoill,” she said. “I am the heir to Dunlochan. I am needed here.”

  “Ah, that is no problem. I dinnae plan on or wish to be the laird of Donncoill for many a long year. My father is still hale and strong and we are a long-lived group. Lots of healers, ye ken. We can stay here.”

  Katerina blinked. That was easy.”

  He reached across the table and took her hand in his. “I think a lot of what ye fear will be easily solved. Ye must ken that I am nay marrying ye just because ye carry my bairn. I didnae say it right. I had been lying there waiting for ye to wake up and, weel, thinking too much on why ye hadnae told me.”

  “As I said, I had only recently realized I was with child. And I was sure that the moment I told ye, ye would speak of marriage and I didnae want to be wed because of what I carried in my womb.”

  “I am nay marrying ye for that, but I cannae wait until we sort out everything, can I? If I do the child could weel be a bastard and there is no reason for him to be. Or her.”

  Katerina took a deep breath, knowing she was about to plunge into some deep waters, but that she had little choice. She loved him and she carried his child. By not marrying him, she would only be hurting herself.

  “Then we shall be married.”

  “In three days’ time. I wish my brother to attend.”

  “Three days’ time then.”

  He stood up and moved around to lean over her. “May I kiss the bride then?”

  “Aye.”

  Lucas kissed her, trying to show her how he felt with the kiss. He was not sure how well he had succeeded but they were both breathing heavily when he lifted his head. He stared down at her, enjoying the warmth in her eyes and the hint of a blush on her cheeks.