She slid her hands up higher over his shoulders and stood on her tiptoes, but he still didn’t bring his head down to kiss her. Man, did he have a will of steel. She would have thought he was immune to her, but then, he couldn’t hide the desire pressing into her as she stepped closer still.
“Kiss me, Bruce. Put your hands on me. Make me yours like you promised to do so long ago.” She slid her hands into his hair, sliding her fingers up the back of the messy short waves, trying to pull his head down. She loved feeling the silky strands as they wrapped around her fingers. He still hadn’t moved his hands from her hips, where he was holding her.
His expression was stormy, far from the composed Dr. Siegel, the friend she’d been acquainted with the past two years since he’d been home. Good! She wanted to get to him, to be under his skin, to rattle his composure. She slid her other hand up over his ear, trying to pull his head down—and there was give, just a bit, as he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers.
Then the kiss exploded. It was hot and slow, and she could feel his warm breath, taste him, and he lifted his head just a bit, his eyes burning into her as if he were memorizing every detail of her face. He scooped her up in his arms, and she shrieked, looping her arm around his neck, holding tight. And he kissed her again.
Chapter Nine
She never would have believed he was as strong as he was. Kim was slender and curvy, but she wasn’t light. Nevertheless, he carried her into her darkened bedroom and laid her across the queen-size bed. The only light came from the moon shining through the small window that was cracked open. The parted sheers rustled in the breeze.
He reached out and flicked on her bedside light when all she wanted was to feel him in the dark. What is it about having a light on that makes you so vulnerable?
She started to sit up and pull her knees up, but he crawled over her, his arms on either side of her, hovering just inches above her. He’d taken off his glasses. This Bruce was older, more mature, but she could still see the young Bruce she’d fallen in love with. Gone was the cocky smile she loved right before he kissed her. Here now was a man who seemed to have mastered his emotions and was studying her, which was so unnerving.
She was breathing heavy, feeling the motion of her chest as it rose and fell. Her heart was beating so hard she was trembling as she waited for him to finish looking her over. She squeezed her fists, feeling a jumbled bundle of nerves as if this were her first time being with a man. “I’ve waited for you for so long. Please don’t keep me waiting now.”
He didn’t kiss her as he reached one hand to her shirt and unbuttoned it, pulling it free from the waistband. He parted it and moved beside her, still leaning over her as he ran his hands over her bra. She was embarrassed for a minute and tried to cover herself.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as she lay there, watching him watching her, his hand resting on her stomach, rubbing in circles.
“I don’t have pretty lacy bras and underwear. I wasn’t planning…”
His lips twitched as if he found it amusing, but she hated the fact that he was seeing her in a granny-style Wonderbra, nothing flattering. It was bulky and full coverage, giving her firm support. For the first time, she wanted pretty, sexy underthings, but all she had were granny panties and serviceable bras, mainly the ones on sale twice a year at Walmart.
“It’s not the bra I want to see,” he said as he reached around and unfastened the back. It slipped loose, and then he urged her up so he could slide off her shirt and pull her bra down to toss it to the floor. She didn’t know what made her do it, but she went up on her knees, showing him her generous breasts. They were bigger, fuller than they had been when she was seventeen, the first time he’d seen her. She’d been thinner then, more athletic, and she worried that her stomach might not be as flat as it once had been.
But the expression on his face was one of approval as he lifted one of her breasts in his hand, feeling the weight. She slid her hands in her hair to open herself up to him as he ran his thumb over her nipple. Of course it shot a jolt through her, and she leaned her head back as she gasped her desire. Then he touched her other breast, both hands on her.
“Where are you?” he said as she opened her eyes through a haze of sensuality and watched this man, who teased her body, tasted her, and touched every part of her except the one part she’d always wanted. Even the last night they’d been together, naked in the hayloft, touching, tasting, teasing, and pleasuring each other, he’d never completely made her his, and it had been her one regret.
“I’m here with you. I don’t want to be anywhere else,” she said, and then he was on her, taking her nipple into his mouth, and her hands flew to his shoulders as he leaned in to taste her. He knew exactly how far to go before she’d fall apart. This was a man who understood how to please a woman—no, this was a man who knew his way around a woman’s body. Bruce now had experience he hadn’t as a teen. The thought both excited her and made her jealous.
He lowered her to the bed and worked the zipper down on her jeans, sliding his hands around her cheeks. Then he sat up, pulling her jeans and underwear down until they caught on her shoes. She tried to toe off her sneakers until Bruce stood and pulled one, then the other off, dumping them on the floor with a clunk. Her clothes followed, and there she was, lying completely naked and vulnerable to the only man she’d ever loved.
“You still have all your clothes on,” she said.
As she said it, she watched him unbutton his shirt one button at a time as if teasing her mercilessly. He pulled his shirt from his jeans and then tossed it to the floor with her clothes. He unbuckled his belt and toed off his shoes, pulling his cell phone from his pocket and setting it on the nightstand beside his glasses. He was so deliberate in what he did even as he shifted his gaze back to her, running his simmering whiskey-colored eyes over her, reminding her of his pleasurable, burning bite. She wanted to see all of him, to feel him on her, inside her. She scrambled up on her knees and reached for his belt to unzip him when he put his hands over hers. She looked up at him.
“I’ve waited so long for you,” he said. “I’m not waiting anymore.” He was wearing the kind of underwear those male models wore in the Calvin Klein ads, but on Bruce they looked as if they were made for him. She slipped her fingers into the waistband and slid them over his erection, so bold and large. She didn’t remember him being so large.
Bruce stepped out of his clothes and climbed on the bed with her as her hand slipped around him. “Easy, baby,” he hissed. “I may not last. I want to see you come apart under me when I bury myself inside you.”
“Why are you taking so long, then?”
He actually chuckled as he leaned over, taking her down on her back, his lips brushing hers in a kiss that was far from gentle but filled with passion and fire. She knew she’d die if she never got to taste him again. She didn’t want it to stop as he angled his head, deepening the kiss and then tasting her neck, her breasts, her stomach, and lower, and then his hand slipped under her knee, pushing it out as he ran his hand up the inside of her thigh. She was so wet for him. She wanted him, at the same time feeling virginal even though she knew exactly what a man and woman did together, having experienced everything with her husband—a touch she had tolerated, a touch that could never bring her to the heights of passion that just a look from Bruce could.
His cell phone rang before he continued with loving her, and then he was off the bed, moving away and grabbing his phone. She was stunned as she lay there in a state of passion, realizing he was sitting on the edge of the bed and now reaching for his clothes. What the hell?
“How long?” he said. “Okay, get him prepped. On my way in. Give me twenty minutes.”
Was he really leaving? He had said he was on call, but right now, when she was so complete frazzled and so close to having him after waiting for so many years to belong to him in the only way a woman could completely belong to a man…here she was, sitting naked as she pulled her knees up to her breasts to cover herself
. Bruce was pulling on his clothes. “I’m sorry” was all he said as he tucked his shirt in, grabbing his glasses and shoving them on.
Kim couldn’t seem to find her tongue as she realized that what she’d waited for all these years was about to walk out the door in less than ten seconds. He grabbed her face and kissed her hard and fast, his tongue slipping in, tasting her. Her hand covered his before he pulled away.
“I’ve got an emergency,” he said. “New baby, just born. There’s been a complication.”
Of course she felt like crap, mourning her loss when there was a baby who needed him. She jumped off the bed, grabbing the robe that was on the hook behind the door, a blue plaid that came to mid calf. She hurried after him. “Of course you have to go. I hope it’s not too serious.”
She wanted to ask him if he would be back, but that was selfish and silly and needy, and she didn’t want to be needy right now. He kissed her once more before going out the door. She flicked on the outside light as he ran to his car, jumped in, and turned to race down her driveway. And she did the only thing she could: She went onto the deck, sat in the wooden seat, and watched as the man she loved, who was needed by so many, drove away.
Chapter Ten
Kim had no idea what time she drifted off, but Chloe woke her when the sun was up, nickering to remind her that breakfast was late. She blinked, feeling hungover. She hadn’t had a wink of sleep all night. She sat up, and her head felt heavy as she crept out of bed. She wondered where Bruce was, whether he was still at the hospital or had gone home to the condo she knew he had in town. She didn’t know exactly where he lived, but it was close to the hospital, which had a few really nice high-end places.
After she turned Chloe out on the pasture to graze, she climbed into a cool shower as the heat continued to rise. Instead of pulling on jeans, she slipped on a jean skirt and a paisley tank top and took a minute to have a coffee and choke down a piece of toast even though the knots in her stomach had stolen her appetite. She’d checked her phone every minute all morning, and the ringer, just to make sure it hadn’t been turned off. Should she call him, maybe check in to see how he was?
Who was she kidding—she ached for him. Being without him was killing her. “Oh, you’re so pathetic, Kim.” She tapped her hands on the counter and looked around for something to do. There was lots: repairs to make on her horse’s shelter, weeding in the garden, manure to clean up…and there were tons of other things she could be doing, but right now she didn’t think she could concentrate long enough to put any effort into anything. And she didn’t want to leave the house in case Bruce phoned, so she pulled out a mixing bowl and started making a batch of muffins. She added some frozen peaches and blueberries, and when Bruce still hadn’t called after two dozen muffins were baked, she grabbed a Tupperware container and stuffed a dozen in with a napkin and butter in a small container, stepped into her sandals, grabbed her truck keys, and went out the door to drive into town.
When she approached the hospital, she wondered whether he was still there. She hadn’t stopped to consider how she’d be able to walk right into the hospital to see him. Maybe she should have called from home. If she had a cell phone—she’d never seen the need for such an added expense—she could have called him now. Instead, she paid for parking in the hospital lot, grabbed the cloth bag with the container of muffins and small thermos of coffee she’d packed on a whim, lifted her purse over her shoulder, and walked through the main entrance of the hospital.
It was busy midday, so she stopped at the reception, where a young woman with mousy brown hair in a ponytail sat behind the counter. She was wearing a blue tooth device attached behind her ear and looking at a computer screen in front of her.
“Can I help you?” She said as Kim heard phones buzzing in the background.
“Yes, can you tell me if Dr. Bruce Siegel is still here e was called in for an emergency.”
“Let me check.” She tapped some keys on her computer and then was talking to someone on her earpiece. “Is Dr. Siegel still on the grounds?” She asked, then nodded. “Okay, thank you.” She glanced back up at Kim. “He just came out of surgery. Go on up to the third floor nurses’ station. There’s a waiting area off there. Let the nurses know you’re there to see the doctor, and he’ll find you when he’s finished.”
She wondered whether she should tell this woman she wasn’t a patient—or rather, she didn’t have a child who was a patient. She started to when the woman began answering another call, so instead she tapped the counter and said, “Thank you.”
She started to the elevators, her insides shaking. The tiny nerves of steel that had made her think this was a good idea were suddenly wavering. Maybe he wouldn’t appreciate her showing up here, and as she stood in front of the elevator, she wondered whether maybe she should go back to the receptionist and ask to leave a message instead. Or she could go home alone.
She didn’t want to be alone, though. It’s now or never, Kim. Haven’t you lost enough time? She jabbed the button and waited for the elevator when the doors opened several people stepped out. There was a couple who followed Kim in, she pressed three. And they seemed to be going to the same floor. They were young and looked so sad. The woman had short dark hair and was holding her husband’s hand. Kim smiled over at them.
“You have a child here?” the woman asked her.
“No, I don’t. Just visiting a friend. You?” she asked, wishing very much that she did have a child—Bruce’s child, but not a child in the hospital. That had to be so difficult for a parent.
“Our daughter. She’s five.”
The man said nothing but offered a polite smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“I hope it’s not too serious,” she said. From the expression on the man’s face, it didn’t seem as if it was anything simple.
“She needs a heart transplant, has been on the waiting list since she was a baby. It’s hard not knowing, waiting every day.”
Kim didn’t know what to say as the doors opened. The couple stepped out first and went down the hall, and Kim went to the nurses’ station. It was bustling with three nurses, a couple of doctors in scrubs, and someone behind the desk on the phone.
“Can I help you?” a man in scrubs with a white coat pulled over top looked up to her from the stool he was sitting on.
“Yes, is Dr. Bruce Siegel still here? Reception downstairs said he was just getting out of surgery—”
“Kim?”
She jumped when she heard his voice, turning to see him in faded blue scrubs, wearing a scrub cap with cartoon characters on it. He looked so tired, and he looked so good.
“Hi,” she said. “I, uh…” What the hell did she want to say? I was worried, feeling needy because you didn’t call, probably because you were saving some child’s life, and I couldn’t be patient and wait. “I made you muffins because I thought you might be hungry. Is everything all right with the child?”
He smiled at her. “Fine, come on.” He held up his hand, slipping it around her shoulder, and said to a nurse behind the counter, “Baby Whiteside is in the ICU. Can you let me know as soon as the mom is awake, and I’ll go talk to her?”
Kim didn’t miss the glances her way, the interest noted by a few of the nurses to Bruce’s hand on her shoulder.
“Come on, let’s go in the lounge,” he said.
She started walking with him down the hall. “I feel bad for just showing up here.”
Bruce pushed opened the door to a nice room with a sofa, a kitchen table with six chairs, a fridge, and a microwave. Two doctors across the room were drinking coffee, and they glanced their way.
“How’d the surgery go?” one of them asked.
Kim was watching Bruce, in awe of who he was. All this time away had made him into someone truly special. She listened as he rattled off the procedure, something she’d never heard of. She felt completely uneducated, listening to him, and she realized then that all his time away, his education and what he’d accomplished, had tak
en him from the farm community where they grew up and made him godlike. And here she was with a high school diploma, divorced, her only experience working off and on at the feed store.
The doctors left.
“So where are these muffins? I’m starving,” he said.
She put the cloth bag on the table and lifted out the container. The coffee thermos rattled and was lying in the bottom, but when she looked at the full coffee pot on the counter, where Bruce was filling a mug, she decided to leave it in the bag.
“I made peach blueberry muffins.”
Bruce sniffed and scooped one from the container, eating it in two bites. He actually groaned. “This is so good. What else do you have in there?” He actually slid the bag open to look and pulled out the thermos.
“I made you coffee, but I didn’t think you’d have some here already.”
He looked at her as he shoved another muffin into his mouth, his eyes bloodshot, and even though he looked exhausted, he picked up on her uncertainty. He walked over to the sink and dumped out his coffee, then unscrewed her thermos, took a sniff, and poured. “Yours smells way better.” He took a swallow and groaned again. “I was right: It is way better.”
Did he have any idea how that made her feel? She couldn’t help smiling up at him, and he reached out and ran his thumb over her lips.
“I love to see you smile,” he said. “After seeing so much upset today, you really are a breath of fresh air.”
She must have appeared shocked. “Really? I just, uh…I’m not a doctor.” She clutched the strap of her purse as she watched him chew, and she knew the moment he understood what she was saying.
“I see. So you think you’re not good enough for me, is that it? That I’m so shallow I need you to be a doctor or some other professional?”
She was shaking her head. “No, it’s just I’m not educated like you, and I didn’t even realize it until I walked in here with you and listened to you rattle off what sounded like an amazing procedure you just did to save a baby’s life. You create miracles, and I never really understood it until just now. I have a high school diploma. I haven’t been anywhere, done anything. I work at a feed store for minimum wage off and on.”
