[Southern Heart 01.0] Southern Pleasure

by Kaylee Ryan

  After rushing through a shower, I head downstairs and find Mom pulling a casserole dish out of the oven. It smells amazing. Looking at the clock, I see it’s only nine-thirty. “That smells great,” I tell her.

  “Thank you. I made lasagna for Evan. It’s something he can eat on for a few days and it’s easy to reheat. Do you think you could drop it off for me?” she asks. I’m surprised she doesn’t want to herself.

  “Sure, I’m headed there anyway. I’m going to take some newborn pictures of Lexi. I can’t wait to see her in the Alabama outfit I bought off of Etsy.”

  “Those ears are just too cute,” Mom says. I purchased a gray crocheted hat with elephant ears and a matching diaper cover in gray with a red “A” right on the bottom. I can’t wait to take these pictures. Evan is a hardcore Alabama fan.

  “They really are. I was going to surprise him, but I don’t know if I can get him to leave her long enough. He’s smitten.”

  “Hmm, that he is. I’m sure for you he would be agreeable,” Mom replies.

  “What do you mean for me?”

  “He just seems to trust you. You two have gotten closer since you’ve been home.” She goes back to packing up the lasagna in her carrier. I study her to see if she can tell, for him, I would be agreeable to anything. It’s not Evan; it’s me. Now that Lexi’s here, it’s just going to be harder to resist him—-them. She is the sweetest baby.

  “Yeah, he needed help. That’s what friends do.” I try to sound nonchalant. Mom doesn’t call me out on it and I’m grateful. I don’t want to talk about how I’m falling harder every day for my brother’s best friend, for my best friend. Evan and I have become really close, and I feel guilty that I want him, but I just . . . his kisses are hard to forget.

  After scarfing down a bagel, I run to the studio and grab the outfit and a few other props I use for newborn shoots. Once I have everything I need, including Mom’s lasagna, loaded into Evan’s truck, I’m on my way. The drive takes mere minutes from our place to his. I park and grab the lasagna. I can come back to get everything else. I’m hoping I can convince him to get out of the house for a little while so I can surprise him with the pictures.

  I knock softly, not wanting to wake the baby if she’s sleeping. I wait, but no answer. Maybe they’re both sleeping. Using my key, I slide it into the lock and slowly push the door open. I hear a soft whimper coming from the living room and the sound of Evan’s voice as he tries to soothe her.

  I take the lasagna to the kitchen, kick off my shoes, and make my way to the living room. I find Evan pacing back and forth with Lexi in his arms, begging her to sleep. “Rough night?” I ask. The sound of my voice startles him. When he turns to face me, I can see the dark circles under his eyes. He’s exhausted.

  “You could say that. She’s hardly slept,” he says, defeated.

  With a few steps, I’m standing beside him. I place my hand on Lexi’s back and gently rub. “Let me take her. You go get some rest.”

  With glassy eyes, which I’m sure have more to do with emotion than exhaustion, he says, “Kinley, what if I can’t do this? I love her, but what if I’m not what she needs?”

  Reaching out, I take Lexi from him and cradle her in my arms, gently rocking her from side to side. “Evan, you are what she needs for the simple fact that you do love her. You have to remember, most of the time, there are two parents, two people to take shifts until this little one gets her days and nights on the right schedule. It takes time, and you are trying to do it on your own.”

  “I just—”

  “You’re just tired. Have you eaten?”

  “Yeah, Aaron came over last night and brought pizza.”

  “Today, Evan? Mom made you a lasagna, not exactly breakfast, but it’s still warm and it smelled amazing when she was making it. I set it on the counter in the kitchen. Go make yourself a plate, then go upstairs and sleep. I have nothing planned today. I’ll take care of this one.” I look down at Lexi. “You, little one, have worn Daddy out. You and I are going to spend some time together while he gets some rest.” I talk to her like she understands me. I’m sure I look like a crazy person, but Evan’s so tired he probably doesn’t even notice.

  “Kinley, I—”

  “Evan, go. I got this. We will be here the entire time. She needs you rested. Now go get some food and then sleep.”

  He’s too tired to protest further. He nods and leaves the room. Lexi is no longer whimpering; she’s passed out in my arms. Babies can feel tension and I’m sure this little one was feeding off his exhaustion. Not wanting to move her just yet, I reach for my purse and pull out my Kindle. I settle down on the couch with this precious baby girl to read. I need Evan to see I’m good with this so he won’t feel guilty.

  A few minutes later, he joins me with a heaping plate of lasagna and a glass of sweet tea. I pull my feet up, so he can sit on the opposite end of the couch. “She’s out,” he observes.

  “Yeah, I think the two of you were keeping each other up.” He doesn’t say anything; instead, he digs into his lasagna. I open my Kindle and start reading, letting him eat.

  “I can’t take care of my own kid,” he says, setting the now empty plate on the coffee table.

  “Evan, every parent needs help. You can’t expect to do it all alone. Let me help. Go crash for a few hours. I got her. I’m going to make sure she’s in a deep sleep before I lay her down. I have my Kindle.” I hold it up for him.

  He runs his hands over his face and releases a heavy sigh. Finally, he stands and carries his plate to the kitchen. When he comes back, he sits on the edge of the couch close to me, tracing a finger down Lexi’s cheek. “I love her so fucking much, and it kills me to think I can’t take care of her,” he confesses.

  “You can take care of her. You’re exhausted, Evan. Go get some rest,” I say softly.

  Leaning in, he cups my face with his hand and runs his thumb across my cheek. “What would I do without you?” he whispers the question. I assume it’s a rhetorical question, so I don’t answer. “You’re amazing, Kinley.” Leaning in a little further, his lips press against mine. “Thank you,” he says, pulling away. He watches me for a reaction, which he’s not going to get. I can’t let him see how he affects me. I would rather have stolen kisses we don’t talk about than have him pull away when he finds out those kisses make my heart full.

  Standing, he says, “She ate about two hours ago, so she will be hungry soon.”

  “Okay, I promise to wake you if we need anything. Now go get some rest. We’ll be right here when you wake up.”

  Evan nods and heads upstairs.

  Not twenty minutes later, Lexi begins to stir. Closing my Kindle, I change her diaper and make her a bottle. She drinks greedily and gets mad when I make her stop so I can burp her. She sucks the rest down and her eyes are once again closed. I rub her back and gently pat until she burps again and sighs, making me smile. She’s got a full belly and is sound asleep. Placing her in the pack-n-play, I pick up the bottles Evan left sitting on the table from last night and quietly load the dishwasher. After wiping off the counters, I decide to go ahead and sweep the kitchen floor. After that’s all done, I slip outside and grab my camera and props. Little Miss Lexi doesn’t need to sleep all day. Maybe if I keep her up, Evan will get some rest tonight.

  Another hour passes and I decide it’s time to wake her. When I pick her up, she stretches her little arms and legs. I swear she’s the cutest kid ever, but then again, look who her daddy is. I strip her out of her clothes, place the diaper cover on her, and secure the elephant ear hat to her head. She sleeps through it all; it doesn’t even faze her.

  I take way too many pictures. It’s going to be hard to choose my favorite. I can’t wait to surprise Evan. I slip the outfit back into my bag and put her back into her sleeper, and just like that, Daddy has no idea. After making sure she’s settled back in the pack-n-play, I take a few pictures of her sleeping and then run my equipment back out to the truck.

  I wake with a s
tartle. I hear Lexi downstairs and I panic. Jumping from my bed, I rush down the hall. It’s not until I hear Kinley’s voice that I stop to take a breath and proceed down the steps at a normal pace.

  Kinley has Lexi on the couch changing her diaper. My little angel is not impressed with this. “I know, sweet girl. It’s almost over,” Kinley coos to her. “It’s okay, Lex, as soon as we get you in some dry clothes, we’ll get you a bottle.”

  “She giving you trouble?” I ask.

  Kinley jumps. “You scared the crap out of me.” She finishes changing Lexi and as soon as she picks her up, her cries turn to a low whimper. “Nah, she’s just not happy with the fact that we had to change her clothes and diaper before bottle. She soaked through.” She stands with Lexi in one arm, dirty diaper and clothes in the other.

  “I can take her,” I say, walking toward her.

  “I got it. Just relax,” she says, carrying a now pacified Lexi into the kitchen. I look around and see she cleaned up.

  “Kinley, you didn’t have to clean,” I tell her as I follow her into the kitchen. It too is spotless.

  “I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to. How you feeling?” she asks.

  “Better. I feel human again.”

  “Good. You only slept about three hours.”

  “Three hours of sleep, after what I’ve had total the last two days makes it feel more like twelve,” I laugh. Kinley is completely comfortable in my home, making a bottle for my daughter. She doesn’t mention the kiss, and I don’t either. I can’t. If I ignore it, I can pretend I did it because I was exhausted and thankful for her. That was only part of it. The other part? I blame those sweet lips of hers.

  Okay. I need to stop thinking about it. “So, I was thinking. I really need to go get a truck. I was wondering if you would want to come with me. I don’t know that I can handle a newborn in a car lot for hours.”

  “Sure, but you can go and I can stay with her if you want. I don’t mind at all, or Mom would be happy to watch her.”

  “Yeah, Aaron said the same thing. At first, I wasn’t real thrilled with the idea of leaving her just yet. . . .” I stop there and wait for her reply.

  “I’m good either way. I don’t have anything in the studio for the next three days. So, anytime you want to go, I’m your girl.” She smiles.

  ‘I’m your girl?’ I wish like hell she was.

  “Great, thank you. I just would feel better to have someone else with me. I know I need to get over leaving her; hell, I need to find childcare.”

  “I think you should talk to Mom. She would love to do it. I’m happy to help too on days I don’t have a shoot. Right now, that’s about two to three days a week. I can book them on the same days. The only time that wouldn’t work is when I have to go to them. More often than not, that’s on weekends for birthday parties and events, so it could work.”

  “You really think she would be willing?” I ask.

  “Hell yes, she would. She’s always telling Aaron to settle down and give her grandbabies, you know this. Besides, it wouldn’t be every day with me helping out. I’ll talk to her and see what she thinks,” she tells me.

  “That would be . . . perfect! I don’t like the thought of people I don’t know keeping her. She’s so tiny.”

  “Well, I know I would love to spend a few days a week with her.” I watch as she kisses Lexi’s cheek. “All right, little one, let’s get you fed.” She passes by me to go back into the living room.

  “You sure you don’t want me to take her?”

  “No way. This is my Lexi time.” She grins. “Is there anything you need to do? Go check in at the stables? We’re good here.”

  Yeah, I need to kiss the hell out of you. “That’s all taken care of. The stables are in good hands.”

  “Well, just kick back and relax, Dad. We got this.”

  “In that case, I’m going to go shower. Maybe we can go to the car lot after she eats? Is it okay to take her out this young?” I have no clue what the rules are for this kind of thing, or even if there are any.

  “We’ll keep her bundled up and no one gets to touch her. They need to keep their germy hands off. Other than that, yeah, we can take her.”

  Just like with everything else this girl has said and done, her protectiveness for Lexi causes these . . . feelings I have for her to grow. I’m in deep trouble with this one. Even knowing that, it’s impossible for me to keep my distance.

  I rush up the stairs to shower and change. By the time I make it back downstairs, Kinley has Lexi in her car seat and is shoving items into the diaper bag. “Better safe than sorry,” she says.

  “I agree. This is a first venturing out with a newborn baby; hell, we can take half the house if you think we might need it.”

  This causes her to throw her head back and laugh. I’m not trying to be funny; I’m being serious. “Let’s go, funnyman.” Kinley grabs the diaper bag, leaving Lexi for me.

  “Two hours, not bad,” I say to Kinley as we load Lexi up in my new truck.

  “Nope, not bad. I had the same experience when I bought my Durango from Todd. He doesn’t push and makes the process so much less painful.”

  “So, how about we grab something to eat?” I ask her.

  “Yeah, or if you want to get this one home, I can stop and pick us up something,” she offers.

  “How about some of your mom’s lasagna?”

  “Perfect. I’m going to run by the house real quick, but I’ll meet you there. You two good?” she asks.

  I look at my daughter so tiny in the backseat of my new Dodge one-ton truck. “Yeah, we’re good. See you soon.” I fight the urge to pull her in for a kiss. That seems to be our thing, kissing. Instead, I watch her climb into her Durango and drive away.

  I take my seat and adjust the mirror so I can see in the backseat. Kinley said I have a mirror at the house that I can hang on the back of the seat so I will be able to see Lexi while I’m driving. That must be installed pronto. Lexi whimpers and I know it’s getting close to time for her to eat again. “Let’s get you home, baby girl.”

  I didn’t tell Evan why I needed to stop by the house first, and he didn’t question me. I plan to pack a change of clothes and stay with him and Lexi tonight. He needs help until they get into a routine. I have nothing going on tomorrow, or for the next few days actually. It’s the perfect time for me to help him. I also want to talk to Mom, if she’s there, to see if she is interested in watching Lexi for him on the days I have a full schedule. I’m positive she’s going to be over the moon excited, but I want to ask her just the same.

  “Just the lady I need to talk to,” I say when I see her sitting at the kitchen table.

  “Well, that’s a warm welcome. How are Evan and Lexi doing today?” she asks.

  “Good. When I got there today, Evan was exhausted and frustrated. I guess Miss Lexi was up most of the night and he was running on no sleep since the night she was born.”

  “That boy, he should have called us.”

  “Yeah, he had almost convinced himself he can’t do this—-that he can’t be a dad to her. I made him eat some of your lasagna, which he inhaled by the way, and take a nap. I took care of Lexi, snuck in some shots with her little Alabama outfit, and cleaned up while they were both sleeping.”

  “I can’t wait to see them. Evan didn’t catch you?” she asks.

  “Nope, he slept through it all, so did Lexi,” I laugh. “Anyway, I’m going to grab a few things and stay over there tonight. He didn’t ask me to, but I don’t think he will. He’s too busy trying to prove he can do this. I feel bad for him because most people have a spouse or significant other to share in the duties. Evan is adjusting to all of this on his own,” I explain.

  “That’s very nice of you, dear. I think Aaron is planning on stopping over in a little while also.”

  “Even better. I can nap while he’s there and then take the last shift with Lexi. That will help Evan be available for her tomorrow during the day, so he can start to get a rou
tine down. Maybe once he gets the daytime routine without being exhausted, the nights will fall into place.”

  “How did you get so smart?” she teases.

  “Hey, Evan’s looking for someone to watch Lexi during the day. You know of anyone?” I ask her. I don’t even get to count to ten before she’s volunteering her services.

  “Me. He can bring that sweet girl to me. I would love to watch her. I know Carla would do the same thing if I wasn’t able to do it for you or Aaron.” Mom and Carla are best friends. She was heartbroken when they moved to Alabama, but that’s what was best for Jeff and his treatments.

  “I had a feeling you might feel that way. I’m good with helping too.”

  “You make sure you tell him I would be honored to watch that little angel.”

  “Will do. I’m going to go gather a few things and head over there. When Aaron gets there, I’ll sleep.” I dash up the stairs, throw some clothes into a bag, grab my toothbrush, and call it good. It’s not like I’m trying to impress him. I’m just trying to keep the guy from being dead on his feet, so he can take care of his daughter.

  When I get back to Evan’s, I don’t bother knocking. I just walk on in. “Kinley?” Evan yells from what sounds like upstairs.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” I call back. I can hear Lexi crying.

  “Could you come up here please?” he yells back. His voice sounds funny. I drop my bag in the living room and make my way up the steps. “Where are you?” I ask. Her cries are getting louder as I reach the top of the steps.

  “In the master bathroom,” he replies.

  I slowly push open his bedroom door and Lexi’s cries are coming at me in surround sound. “Kinley,” Evan yells for me.