Him_v4

by Mazur, Caitlin

  "What," she said, a bit sarcastically, "you freaks from the future don't cry?"

  "No," he said, very seriously. "What good is it?"

  "Are you serious?" Amelia sniffled. "It's what makes you human, isn't it? Letting go?" She wiped her hands against her cheeks. Her crying had subsided, and she'd turned her attention to him.

  Ben shrugged uncomfortably. "I wouldn't know."

  Amelia leaned over the table towards him, as though she was trying to reach for him. "You have to have some sort of emotion," she said. "You're human, aren't you?"

  "I'm a Migrator," Ben replied simply.

  She pulled away, leaning back into her seat, staring at him. "You're a human being," she insisted. "Your job is being a Migrator Ben, but there's more to life than that."

  "Not for us," he said, feeling a tightness in his chest. "You wouldn't understand. We don't have the luxury of having more to life. Technically, we don't even really exist."

  Amelia raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe that. You mean to tell me you don't care about anyone, anywhere? You don't love anyone?"

  "Love is useless," he declared. "You should know that better than anyone."

  Amelia crossed her arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"

  "I just mean, you are like me. No family. No attachments. You haven't needed love to survive. Love is a choice, not a necessity. You love Faye because you don't know any better."

  "That's not true," she said. "I love Faye because she's my sister. And she loves me, too."

  Ben was the one to lean forward across the table now. "Think about it, Amelia," he said. "If it wasn't for your sister, would you have picked up your entire life to take this journey with me? Or would you have left, gone home, and moved on with your life?"

  She made no move to answer.

  "Love puts you in danger. Forces you to make choices you wouldn't have otherwise made. Do things you wouldn't have otherwise done. The choice to love never benefits anyone."

  "Well, that's where you're wrong," Amelia said, shaking her head again. "I don't want to be alone. Nobody does. They're lying if they say they do. Faye's love benefits me, and mine her. Humans crave connection. She's my family. I wouldn't trade that for anything."

  It was Ben's turn to frown at her. Nothing he said would convince her otherwise. "We come from different times," was all he said.

  "What about Esau?" Amelia pressed, not giving up, uncrossing her arms and scooting herself up on her knees to lean over the table again. She lowered her voice to talk in a low whisper. "He came to rescue you. You guys have a bond. That's got to be some kind of familial love, no?"

  Ben sighed, looking back at Esau, still driving, his fingers fumbling on the radio. Esau was his team mate, and he wished him success, but the word family never crossed his mind.

  "Perhaps," he said, eager to change the subject, "we should check on your sister."

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  After checking on Faye, the pair returned to the couches, both lost in their own thoughts. Amelia watched the cars from the windows traveling in the darkness. A woman passed in a silver Honda, talking animatedly on her cell phone, not a care in the world. Amelia envied her. The weight on her shoulders grew by the minute, fear clutching her throat. She needed to keep herself together.

  Her stomach growled and before the rumble had come to a stop, Ben jerked his head towards her. "Hungry?"

  "I could eat," she admitted. The emotional toll of the past few days had overpowered her hunger.

  "Esau." Ben stood up from the couch and turned towards the front of the RV. "Let's take a rest soon."

  "You read my mind." Esau pointed to a sign that indicated a rest stop ten miles out. "I think we're close enough that I can give the girl the medicine Johan sent me with."

  A wave of relief swept over Amelia. The medicine, the men had promised her, would help Faye feel normal, at least for a few hours. It would fight her symptoms and hopefully last until they made their way to the Compound. Plus, as selfish as it made her feel, she was starving. Some food would do them all good.

  Esau pulled over at the rest area, guiding the vehicle into the emptiest part of the lot. A few cars were parked in front of a brick building, littered with advertisements for the many fast food restaurants it promised inside.

  "Amelia." Esau came back into the main part of the vehicle and stood next to the couch where she sat. "I'm going to give your sister the medicine while you guys go in and get some sustenance for us. She'll be hungry once she wakes up."

  Amelia nodded, turning towards the door, feeling a little anxious at the idea of leaving her sister alone with a stranger. We'll be quick, she told herself as she followed Ben off the RV.

  Together, they walked across the parking lot and into the rest stop that smelled like hot oil and dirty diapers. Amelia immediately became eager to leave.

  "I'm gonna head to the bathroom." Ben nodded in her direction, steering off on his own.

  Amelia entered the restroom, finding her reflection in the mirror. She wasn't surprised to find she still looked exhausted. More exhausted, if that was even possible. Her makeup had been wiped clean, leaving her looking younger and blotchier than she liked. She pushed the pads of her fingers at her skin, trying to even it out to no avail. She moved to her hair next, her fingers catching in the knotty mess. Wrangling it into ponytail, she washed her hands quickly and left. Who the hell was she trying to impress anyway?

  Ben was nowhere to be found. She looked around the place for any sign of him, finally spotting him in a small gift shop. He looked comically out of place, his tall frame hovering over some shelves.

  "What are you doing?" she asked, reaching his side.

  "Just looking."

  Amelia fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Okay. I'm going to grab some food and get back to Faye. Hurry up, would you?"

  She turned to load up on food, then made her way back out to the RV, performing an impressive balancing act. The night air was still cool, and in the distance, Amelia heard the distinct rumble of thunder. The sky lit up with lightning, illuminating the clouds, then disappeared. Another rumble followed. As if on cue, she felt a drop of rain on her arm just before she climbed back into the vehicle. Esau stood at the table, closing a hard, black plastic case, and flashed her a smile.

  "Did you do it?" Amelia dropped the food on the table, eager to hear how her sister was. She looked for any indication that her sister might be awake or feeling better.

  Esau nodded. "It'll take a bit to kick in. Don't expect anything right away."

  "What does the medicine do? How does it work?"

  "It's a plasma," Esau explained. "Injected directly into the body, it will help some of the painful consequences of being Affected. It'll wear off after some time. It's only temporary," he reminded her again. "But by then, hopefully, we'll be where we need to be." His eyes were kind, and he spoke with the confidence of a mature adult. Amelia had to remind herself he was still a young teenager.

  A sudden beatdown on the roof of the RV signaled the onset of rain. Amelia turned towards the open door, her eyes searching for Ben, who'd been lingering. She saw him in dim lighting, standing underneath the small overhang of the brick rest stop.

  "What's he doing?" she asked Esau, squinting out at him through the weather. "Thought we didn't have any time to waste?"

  But Esau did not respond. Instead, he brushed past her shoulder, face in awe, looking out from the door of the vehicle. "Is that...rain?" His voice cracked with panic.

  "Yeah." Amelia frowned at him. "Why?"

  "Ebenezer!" he shouted, turning back towards Amelia. His face had fallen, eyes wide with panic. "Amelia, he'll die!"

  "What the hell are you talking about?" Amelia shouted. She ran outside, annoyed as the wetness of the rain began to sink through her cotton t-shirt. They needed to keep moving. It's all Ben had said to her.

  What the hell was he doing?

  He stood, frozen, his mouth slightly open, watching her come towards him. "What are you
doing?" she shrieked. "Come on!"

  She reached him, trying to make sense of his reaction. His eyes sparkled with wonderment. "Is this rain?" he asked her softly, looking beyond her, out at the massive droplets that splashed across the parking lot, sidewalks, and cars. Thunder rumbled again.

  "Of course it's—" she paused at a thought crossing her mind. The perpetual nuclear winter. Rain must be a foreign concept for him. "Yes. It's rain."

  "Plain water?"

  "Yes." She stuck her hand out from under the awning they stood under, palm flat, towards the sky. "Plain water."

  "We can walk in it?"

  She nodded and reached for his hand. Her small fingers slipped between larger ones, and she brushed his knuckles with her fingertips, grasping tightly. "Come on." She tugged him forward and, to her surprise, he let her.

  They left the overhang into the rain together. Amelia watched him as they walked, his face turned up towards the unrelenting rain. It splashed over him, coating his cheeks, matting his hair down against his forehead, the water darkening his blond locks.

  As they reached the RV, Esau peeked out from the door, watching them apprehensively. Slowly, Amelia watched him stick his own hand out from the doorframe, feeling the droplets as they fell against his skin. His face erupted into a wide grin and, without being able to help herself, Amelia laughed for the first time in days.

  "It's rain," Esau said, pointing out the obvious. "Real rain!" He left the RV behind and stood beside Ben in the parking lot.

  And then, Ben did something Amelia thought he wasn't capable of. He laughed. She dropped his hand in surprise, watching him, as he stared at the sky in awe. His mouth curved, a slow smile finding his lips. Lifting his hands into the air, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let the rain soak through his clothes.

  Amelia couldn't stop her own grin as she watched the two men relish in the rain.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The food rejuvenated Amelia. The inside of the RV smelled like mildew, and everybody squelched every time they moved, but for a moment of joy on what might possibly be the worst road trip of her life, Amelia found she didn't mind it too much.

  An hour back into their journey, Esau came back to check on Faye, telling Amelia that she was making good progress, according to her vital signs. He was an excellent caregiver, and Amelia continued to find herself unbothered by his age. He offered to sit with Faye to monitor her for the next hour or two, to make sure the medicine was doing its trick without any side effects. Amelia welcomed the break.

  With nothing else to do, Amelia sat up front as Ben drove the RV down the never-ending stretch of highway they'd been traveling. Night was passing, with dawn creeping up across the hazy horizon. Amelia glanced at the dash, taking notice of a hula girl bobble head situated directly in between them. It wiggled as they drove.

  "What's that?" she laughed.

  Ben glanced over, eyes still gleaming from the enjoyment of the rain. "Oh. I found her."

  "You found her?" Amelia asked cautiously. "Where?"

  "At the place we stopped."

  "You found her where?" Amelia fought the urge to laugh.

  "At the place, on one of the shelves."

  "In the store?"

  "I don't know what it was," Ben answered with a shrug. "But I liked it. So, I took it." He reached out a single finger and pushed her head so that it began to bobble. "Look at that."

  Amelia shook her head at him. Something had changed since she'd first met him in the hospital. He'd lost his rigid outer shell and was more relaxed and approachable somehow. Though the journey hadn't been very long, Amelia found that she felt safe with him. He knew what he was doing, and at least he had a plan. It was more than she could say for herself.

  "You can't just take things like that, Ben." She looked at him seriously. "You have to pay for them."

  "Well, forgive my ignorance. I didn't know." But by the way he smiled as he said it, she suspected he did.

  Amelia wished for calm. Faye's prognosis seemed promising, but she still had no idea what to expect. There was so much unknown, so many questions she had, so many things she wanted to know. Not to mention, she was still having trouble believing that any of this was real.

  "Can I ask you about the rain?" Amelia settled into her seat, flipping through the radio on the dashboard. She settled on a classic rock station.

  "What about it?"

  "Do you not have regular rain where you're from?"

  Ben's smile faded. "No. Well, not any rain we can touch. I've seen rain before, but never touched it. At least like that. Even during past migrations. Where I come from, our environment is contained."

  "Contained?"

  He nodded. "After the war, there wasn't much left to be habitable, so the Habitat was built to lift us above the unbreathable atmosphere. We're able to use and preserve some of the condensation up there, but most of the people there have never been outside, at least in the sense you're familiar with."

  "That sounds…"

  "Terrible?" Ben suggested.

  She nodded, looking back out of her window, watching the scenery float by. Trees, grass, the sun slowly brightening the sky. She wasn't someone who was in any way deeply connected to nature, but she wondered how often she'd taken her surroundings for granted. Global warming and climate change trickled into her Facebook feed, sometimes an object of discussion. But that's all it was—talk. The reality of what Ben was describing wasn't something she could wrap her head around.

  "But everything will chance once we perfect the timeline," he continued. The environment, the number of survivors, our resources. It's why we do what we do."

  "Amelia." Esau gripped the back of her seat and peered over to look at her. "Faye's stable. You should probably get some sleep. Let me sit up front with this guy. We have a big day coming up."

  As much as she hated to admit it, she could do with some good rest. The sleep she'd gotten at the hotel wasn't cutting it anymore.

  "Yeah, okay," she agreed, standing up and switching spots with Esau. She took one last glance back at Ben and the bobble-head hula girl. She grinned and joined Faye on the bed.

  The bedding was plush, a luxurious blend of some sort of material Amelia couldn't identify. She climbed into the bed slowly, careful not to disturb her sister. Faye looked frail beneath the massive covers. Her face was still stark white, and deep red circles outlined her eyes. Her hair was gone now, her scalp filled with patches of red, angry marks. The sight of her made Amelia's heart sink.

  She scooted her body up towards to the top of the bed, finding the second pillow that Faye had not claimed. She laid down, face to face with her sister. Here, she could see the damage up close—what time had done to her.

  Wrinkles creased her brow, deep indentations in her skin that seems unnatural against her face. The blotchy redness around her eyes was a sign of age as well, and the skin beneath her lower lashes sagged as if she were an old woman.

  Unable to help it, she erupted into silent tears. She was overwhelmed, exhausted, terrified, and angry. Faye had always been the stronger of the two of them, always holding a steady hand with her head on straight. She was a fighter. Nothing ever brought her down.

  Amelia wondered what their fate would be, what would happen to her if she lost Faye. The thought of being alone enveloped her to the depths of her deepest fears. She had always been unwanted—given away like a bag of groceries as an infant, hopping around from home to home as a kid. Useless dreams of finding a forever family. The ache that just never seemed to dissipate from the disappointment of being rejected again.

  Faye had changed things. If they couldn't find a family that wanted them, at least they could have each other. She and Faye had been inseparable since they'd met. It was them against the world. To lose Faye, to lose the only family she'd ever known, would destroy her. She'd have nothing left to live for.

  She cried, stifling sobs with her teeth against her lip, chest tight, reaching out to touch her sister's face as she
slept. Exhaustion swept over her and, finally, realizing just how tired she was, she succumbed to sleep, letting her eyes flutter closed, her hand still on Faye's cheek.

  Amelia dreamt of Faye, a time when they were younger, hanging out in a parking lot. It was raining. Raining as it had been today, at the rest stop. Ben was there, drenched, head to toe. Smiling. His strong back arched so that his face was pointed straight up at the sky. Droplets landed against his olive skin, dampening his shaggy hair and his shadow of a beard. He looked at her then, and smiled a wide smile that changed his face. He was happy.

  She dreamt still, as he came closer, reached out for her with his fingertips, scooping her into his arms, noses touching, and leaned in to kiss her.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  A jolt shifted her body, sending her rolling painfully into the wall the bed lay flush against. She groaned as the pleasant sensation of sleep drifted away from her. Slowly, she sat up, still dazed, pausing for a moment to take in her surroundings.

  The vehicle bounced slightly as it soared over the highway - a feeling she'd become quite accustomed to in the past few days. She yawned, trying her best to stifle it behind the back of her hand, then looked to her side. The bed was empty.

  Faye.

  She scrambled across the bed in a panic, wiping the sleep from her eyes with the tip of her pointer finger, and stumbled into the main part of the RV. She was quite sure she wasn't dreaming, but the scenario seemed so out of place, she wasn't sure she could trust herself.

  The seats around the table were bare, but at the edge of the small hall, between the passenger and driver's seat, sat Faye, upright, both hands rested against the back of the chairs.

  Amelia watched her sister as she threw her bare head back, laughing with glee, her shoulders shaking from the humor. "See," she said aloud, her grin apparent even though Amelia couldn't see her face. "Ben can be funny."

  "What's going on?" Amelia demanded, storming up behind Faye.