Him_v4

by Mazur, Caitlin

  "What are you doing here?" he asked, even though he knew she wouldn't give him an answer.

  She found her next move. Rounding the side of the table, she carefully positioned herself between him and Amelia. "What's it look like?" she asked, leaning forward. "I'm playing a game of pool." She aimed, connected, and pocketed a third ball. "You'd think Seraphine would have gotten us one of these by now."

  Ben glanced at Cheyenne who looked perfectly content to watch Lucy win the game without giving her a shot. "You're not supposed to be here."

  Finally, she looked up, straightening to her full height to meet him at eye level. "And you're not supposed to accidentally kill people when you Migrate," she shot back with a malicious smile. "Or," her eyes flicked over him, landing on Amelia, "bring Predecessors into our business."

  "I didn't kill her." He refused to look at Amelia.

  "Might as well have. That girl is doomed."

  "Lucy," he said, hoping he could find a way to shut her up. "Seraphine wanted me to apologize to you."

  She circled the table again, finding her next shot across the table. She found it, hit the cue ball, but missed, likely on purpose. Lucy never did something without a reason. She turned to Cheyenne and winked before moving back towards them. Ben moved in front of Amelia.

  "Did she?"

  Ben crossed his arms and forced himself to take a deep breath. "Listen, I'm sorry—"

  Lucy leaned forward. "Sorry, didn't catch that. You're what?"

  He clenched his jaw. "I'm sorry."

  Lucy's lips curved into a smile. "Whatever."

  "Let's go back," he said, trying to drive urgency into the moment. "Seraphine doesn't need another reason to be cross with me."

  "Oh please," Lucy said with a roll of her eyes. "You're her golden child. I'm not sure she knows how to be mad at you."

  "She's very angry with me."

  "Yeah?" Lucy asked. "She'll get over it." She let her eyes travel over his face—trying to get a read on him, he supposed. "You look different," she observed curiously. "Like how I felt."

  Ben felt an unpleasant roll in his belly at her remark. He tried his best to shrug it off. "Lucy. Just come back to the Compound with us."

  "With us?" she laughed. "Is the Predecessor going to bring me back, or are you?" She shook her head disbelievingly. "Just when I think you'll never surprise me."

  "Lucy, Seraphine--"

  "Seraphine." Lucy gave a dramatic frown. "What the hell is she going to do about it?"

  "You know what she's capable of," Ben said, narrowing his eyes at her. Now she was being defiant just to try and get a rise out of him.

  "Have you eaten?" she asked. "The good stuff?" She grinned mischievously. "How about a drink? I was just about to get one myself."

  "You can't," Ben said, knowing his efforts were futile. Lucy did what Lucy wanted, no matter what the repercussions were. "Just, come back to the Compound. There's sustenance there. We don't need this...stuff in our systems."

  "Watch it," Lucy clucked her tongue at him. "You'll insult your visitor." Her eyes looked back at Amelia now, who had stepped out from behind Ben. "How about it honey?" Lucy taunted. "Hungry? Want a drink?"

  "Amelia..." Ben said over his shoulder.

  Lucy let out a hoot. "Wow!" she exclaimed. "We're on a first name basis, are we?"

  "Actually yes," Amelia answered, surprising both of them. "I could use some food. And, a drink." She gave Ben a shrug. "I haven't eaten since the road, and the food back at the Compound..." She grimaced.

  Lucy raised her eyebrow at Amelia, then looked back towards Ben. "Come on then," she said, leading them towards the bar.

  "Lucy," Ben hissed again, trying once more. "We need to go—"

  "Stop being such a buzzkill Ebenezer," she said.

  Amelia passed him to join Lucy's stride to the bar and his heart sunk, disappointment thudding dully in his chest. He tried to ignore it. He stood and watched Cheyenne take another turn at the pool table.

  "I did something terrible, and I think something's happening to me," he told her, knowing she could never repeat it.

  Her eyes went wide. She dropped the pool stick, placed her hand on his shoulder, and nodded.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  After what felt like hours, Lucy and Cheyenne agreed to leave the dump of a bar behind. In the hour or so that they had been there, Lucy seemed to become suspiciously fond of the idea of Amelia, mainly because she shared her love of French fries. Ben knew that would only last until the drink wore off.

  "Why didn't you have one?" Amelia asked as they drove away from the city. "A drink?"

  "We don't drink."

  "You don't drink alcohol?"

  "No," he said.

  "But Lucy—"

  "Lucy shouldn't be drinking that poison. She knows better. It makes you stupid, fogs up your mind. She's on a mission, not at a party. She's being irresponsible."

  "Have you ever tried one?"

  "No," Ben answered blandly.

  "Never?" she pressed.

  He made a sharp turn off the road, feeling the path back to the Compound. The tire tracks were still visible in the sand from when they'd left.

  "Nope." He straightened in his seat. "I have no interest. The way you treat your bodies in this time," he said, shaking his head. "It's terrible."

  "At least we enjoy our food."

  "Why enjoy food? It's meant only to keep you alive. That's like, enjoying to breathe, or enjoying to walk. It's a necessity, that's all. It's not something to enjoy."

  "Well," Amelia said thoughtfully. "I quite enjoy breathing." She sucked in air dramatically through her nostrils.

  He smiled, unable to help himself. But his thoughts from the past few days still troubled him. Perhaps it was his lack of food. He hadn't eaten real sustenance to help his body now for over five days. He remembered the silver canister he'd left in the side room after his conversation with Seraphine, and his stomach groaned. Migrators could go days without sustenance, but it wasn't ideal.

  They entered the Compound and carefully parked their cars making their way down to their rooms. Ben led Amelia down the hallway, passing the double doors where he knew Johan was with Faye. The solid structure gave no indication to what was happening in the room, but Ben knew that Johan was the best. He would doing everything he could to save the girl.

  "Amelia. Ben!" Esau appeared at the end of the hall. "Where have you been?" He rushed towards them.

  "Lucy," Ben responded, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. Esau nodded in understanding.

  "Amelia." Esau turned towards Ben's companion. "Faye's stable." Ben's heart picked up its pace at the word. It was too vague for Ben's liking. "Johan feels positive, but he said he's still got his work cut out for him. She's resting now, and she'll be with him until the next evening at the very least."

  Tears welled in Amelia's eyes as she processed the information, her mouth fumbling for words to respond. "Oh Esau," she cried, wrapping her arms around him. Esau's face stayed firm as she gave him a squeeze. She looked over, and he found that his stomach clenched. Her wide brown eyes were so lovely

  No.

  Inwardly, Ben struggled with himself.

  What the hell was happening to him?

  "Amelia," he barked at her with narrowed eyes. She stiffened next to him at the sudden outburst. "You need to get some rest. You won't be able to see Faye until tomorrow anyway, so some rest will do you good."

  "Okay." She agreed with a nod.

  Ben turned, his confusion to his emotions morphing back to anger. That emotion was at least familiar, something he could recognize. Something he could control.

  Esau and Amelia followed him on his heels. He imagined the glances they shared behind his back and scolded himself for being bothered by it.

  "Goodnight Amelia," he said coldly as they reached the door. She passed him with a confused glare. "Sleep well," he added as an afterthought.

  She didn't respond—only ducked her head, scanned her arm, a
nd disappeared into the room.

  The door closed and Ben turned towards Esau. "What the hell was that?" Esau raised his eyebrow.

  "What was what?" Ben brushed past him to continue down the hall. He knew his outburst had been unwarranted, but he didn't care. Right now, all he really wanted to do was get some food and sleep in his system. Surely he would wake the next morning feeling like himself again.

  Esau jogged to keep up with his stride. "Why are you angry with her?"

  Ben paused, becoming acutely aware of his footing. "I'm not angry with her."

  "Then what's going on with you?" Esau's voice carried concern, and Ben was grateful for it.

  He stopped walking, turning towards the younger man. "Something's not right."

  "What do you mean?"

  "With me." Ben chewed his lip. "I can't focus. I'm afraid and angry. I'm worried for Amelia, for the sister. This is my fault." The truth poured from his mouth. He turned abruptly, back into the room where he knew he had left his canister. "Everything feels wrong."

  The door slid open, and he and Esau entered the room, but to Ben's dismay, the canister had disappeared. Someone must have put in his room for when he returned. That meant Seraphine knew where he had gone.

  "What happened with the girls," Esau said slowly, sitting on the couch. "It's going to take some time to recover. Remember what happened with Lucy?"

  Is that what's going to happen to me? Rebellion? Hostility?

  "That's not me, Esau," Ben said, running his hands over his eyes, rubbing fingers into his temple. "I'm clear-headed, pointed. I don't worry. I don't get angry like this. I do my job, and I do it well. That's it. I'm a simple man. All I want for us is to fix the timeline. For a chance at a future for our people."

  "I know."

  "The Affected Predecessor Lucy brought back died." He knew Esau knew this fact, but it didn't make it any better.

  "I know," Esau said. "But he was also a child. Much weaker than the sister."

  Ben nodded, chewing his lip. Silence hovered between the two men.

  "We shouldn't even be in this mess in the first place. I should have been more careful. I should have—"

  "It's a mistake, Ben," Esau reasoned with him. "Even the best Migrators make mistakes. Seraphine still knows you can do your job. She'll work with you. You devote yourself entirely to the cause, to the better good of our people. She knows that. We all know that."

  "I just feel—" he paused, looking at the ceiling, hoping he wasn't going to upset Esau with his proclamation. "Something's wrong with me. Something's happening to me. I think my mistake awoke something inside of me that I don't know how to fix."

  "Oh honey," came a new voice, with a swoosh of the door, "there's no fixing your kind of crazy."

  Lucy appeared in the doorway, slender and menacing, a grin painted on her face that Ben knew wasn't genuine. Behind her, again, came Cheyenne, lips pursed together. He met her eyes and she looked away, taking a seat next to Esau.

  "Lucy," Ben greeted her blandly.

  "You don't seem glad to see me," she fake-whined. "After all that effort it took to come out and find me, you'd think you'd be a bit happier that I was back."

  "I already told you, we didn't need another reason for Seraphine to be angry with us." He looked down at the empty table. "You shouldn't have gone out tonight, after everything that happened."

  "That was your fault, Ben. Not mine. Seraphine is only angry with you," Lucy said, correcting him. "She was in a good mood until your little disaster."

  "We still act as a team," Ben retorted.

  "Do we?" Lucy raised an eyebrow, finally taking a seat next to Cheyenne, opposite of Ben. "What were you two chatting about?"

  "The girls. Ben's feeling off from the botched migration," Esau said, before Ben had the chance to respond.

  Lucy's head whipped towards him. "Off how?" she asked fiercely.

  "Forget it. It's none of your business."

  "You just made it my business," Lucy said seriously.

  "Lucy. I'm fine. Leave it alone."

  "I can help you, you know," Lucy said, inspecting her fingernails.

  Ben scoffed at that. "How do you figure?"

  Her eyes narrowed. "I'm the only one who understands how you feel."

  "You have no idea how I feel."

  "Affecting a Predecessor, Ben. I've been there. I know how it feels. You don't know half of what happened with my Predecessors. You should be worried. You need to stop feeding into Seraphine's lies."

  "Don't start with this again." Ben held a hand up to stop her. "Seraphine is trying to help—"

  "Seraphine isn't god, Ebenezer." Lucy's voice was shrill. "She's not going to help you fix anything. You need to fix this yourself. Find a way to get your Predecessor out of here, if you want her to live."

  Ben's head spun. Lucy was acting insane. "You can't be serious." She had been spewing these ridiculous allegations for long enough. "Get a grip, Lucy. You'll have nothing left if Seraphine exiles you from this team."

  Her cheeks reddened. The tension in the room radiated in the silence that followed.

  "Things will work out just fine," Esau said, nervously watching the two of them.

  "Sure hope so," Lucy said, her eyes not leaving Ben. "Otherwise that Predecessor of yours is in for a rough few days."

  "What's that supposed to mean?" Ben snapped, meeting her very fierce eyes.

  Her face changed. Lucy's stare narrowed, eyes darkening as she took him in. "Ben." She said his name quietly. For a moment, Ben locked into her. He forgot the Cheyenne and Esau were there. "What the hell do you think happened to the Predecessor I brought back? You mean to tell me Johan couldn't save him?" She frowned. "If you ever trusted me, trust me on this. You cannot trust Seraphine with these Predecessors. She's not looking out for their well-being. She's not looking out for anyone's well-being, except for her own. I can promise you that."

  Ben's vision swam in his anger while he took a slow, steady breath. What had happened to the Lucy he grew up with? She had been an impeccable, fearless soldier. She followed the rules, contributed great strength to their team for years. Her Seer abilities were a rare gift, one she seemed to just want to throw away.

  Ben knew he couldn't trust her.

  "I know you better than you think, Ebenezer," she said, before lifting herself off the couch. "Drink some of that so-called sustenance they give you," she told him. "It'll probably make you feel better."

  "Okay Lucy," Ben said with finality.

  "Come on Cheyenne," she called. Cheyenne obeyed, like a pet. Ben's scowl followed them as they left the room.

  "What is wrong with that woman?" Ben thought aloud. Esau shook his head. "How can she say those things about Seraphine?"

  "It's getting worse." Esau crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch. "And Seraphine's taking notice."

  Ben sighed.

  "Well…" Esau placed a hand at Ben's back. "Don't take what she said too seriously. I'm sure it's going to be fine." He squeezed his shoulder.

  Ben gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Esau. We should get some sleep."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Amelia knelt on the floor, fear consuming her. Darkness coated every side of her body, closing in on her fast. Her heart pounded, her throat went dry, and she tried like hell to let out a scream as she looked down.

  Faye.

  Her sister laid on the floor, alien to her. She was a skeleton of her former self, bones with thin skin stretched tight. Her eyes rolled up into her head and Amelia could no longer tell if she was dead or alive. She yelled for her, but Faye didn't budge. Amelia clawed at her, desperate for her sister to wake up. She needed Faye to know she was here for her.

  Faye had rescued her from so many of life's cruel moments. Made her see the good in the world, how to enjoy the things they'd been handed, that there was more to life than just fending for yourself. She was the only thing that kept her going.

  Amelia struggled to pull Faye close to her chest, tears bl
inding her vision. Useless. She needed to stand, to scoop Faye up in her arms and get her some help.

  "Hey!" a voice shouted next to her. Amelia shot up in her bed, gripping the sheets beside her. She felt an unfamiliar weight at the end of the mattress and struggled to place it as her eyes adjusted to her sudden awakening. It was a figure, their hair reflected in the light like a flame. She'd know that hair anywhere.

  "Lucy!" Her voice was hoarse with sleep.

  The woman looked fierce, eyes gazing at her with focus. "Surprised to see me?" Lucy stood from the edge of the bed, crossed her arms, and went to the window, her back to Amelia. "Sorry to surprise you."

  "How'd you get in here? Ben said only I could get in." Amelia smoothed her hair away from her face frantically. She wasn't sure what it was, but Lucy's sudden appearance made her uneasy.

  Lucy laughed softly. "Ben has trouble seeing potential."

  Love is a choice, not a necessity.

  His indifference to emotion, repulsion at anything unnecessary, obsession with obeying the rules. Amelia could see it. "I guess I can understand that," she reasoned aloud.

  "Something's happening to Ben. He's different from the Ben I left when we migrated last," she said, turning back towards her bed. "But I supposed that has to do with him not eating for a few days."

  Amelia looked at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

  "The sustenance. That crap they give us in the cans? They're controlling us here," she said casually with a laugh. "At least, trying to. Ben's lived most of his adult life on mood suppressors. Poor kid doesn't know what to do with himself now that he's feeling something."

  Amelia's head spun. "Controlling you? Mood suppressors?"

  Lucy's smile widened. "Ben's more trouble than he realizes. But Seraphine has him all figured out. So she keeps him around. She keeps me around for an entirely different reason, but that's a story for a different day."

  "What are you doing here?" Amelia asked, already feeling exhausted.

  Lucy sighed. "It has come to my attention," she said importantly, "that our dear Ebenezer may not have told you everything you need to know, because he's not willing to listen to the truth."