His Nerd Girl (Falling for the Geek Girl): A New Adult Romance

by Lila Moore

  “Food’s here,” I said.

  I set everything down on the counter. The beta males descended on the food like a flock of vultures. I never once heard a thank you. In fact, the fat one snapped at me for not getting extra chili sauce. I frowned and turned my attention to Sage. She smiled brightly and embraced me with a hug. Her hair smelled nice. Her skin was soft as it brushed against my neck. I rested my hand on the small of her back. She was a tiny girl. She barely came up to my chest. Of course I’m a big guy, standing at over six feet.

  Sage squeezed me tight once, pressing her body against mine. Then she stepped away. My eyes drifted over her body. When she lifted her arms to hug me, her shirt rose, exposing her flat stomach. She had a navel ring with a charm dangling off it. I tickled her side.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  She giggled and twisted away from my touch, as if she was afraid this would turn into a tickling session where I tortured her with my touch.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “That,” I said, pointing to her belly button. “Let me see.”

  She lifted her shirt. “It’s new. Do you like it?”

  It’s been my experience that girls with piercings and tattoos are far more likely to be down to fuck. They tend to be wilder and more eager. They’re my favorite. Sage didn’t strike me as being overly eager to fuck me or anyone else though. She came across a bit shy, if not a bit flustered by my attention.

  “I like it. What’s that charm?” I asked.

  “Are you serious?” one of the guys said. The other snorted. “You don’t recognize it?”

  I took a closer look. It was shaped like the bat signal from Batman. It was covered with glitter; it sparkled in the light. I hadn’t recognized it until I got a closer look.

  “Batman,” I said. “Are you Batgirl?”

  “I can be if you want,” she said, biting her lip.

  I was surprised by how flirtatious she was acting. Of course the moment was spoiled by the group of man-children behind me.

  “I’m impressed,” Ansel said sarcastically. “He actually managed to get one thing right.”

  “Barely. I mean who doesn’t know Batman?”

  “He didn’t.”

  The guys laughed. Did they seriously think they were going to intimidate me? They were acting like idiots. It had an effect on Sage though. She looked down at her bare feet nervously. Was she embarrassed by me? This was virgin territory for me. I’d never had a girl act ashamed of me. I’m the guy most men envy. I’m good looking, rich; I can get any girl I want. I’ve never had a girl think lesser of me because I wasn’t well-versed in geek culture. Clearly, Sage wasn’t most girls.

  An unexpected thought flashed through my mind. What if Sage wasn’t different than most girls? Maybe I just had terrible taste in women. The girls I fucked may look different, but they’re all cut from the same cloth. After fucking me, they all had their hands out eager for money. Sage was happy to play videogames and hang out with her friends.

  Maybe the problem was me.

  What if these losers were right? Their interests aligned with Sage’s more than mine did. Maybe I did have a reason to be intimidated. They spoke her language. I didn’t. I could only fake interest for so long before she’d catch on to that fact that I was lying.

  “The food smells amazing,” Sage said. “Thanks for paying. We’ll pay next time.”

  “If there is a next time,” one of them said.

  Sage gave them a hard look. I wondered if she’d given them a lecture before I arrived.

  Be on your best behavior in front of the jock. He may not know anything, but he’s a nice guy.

  Christ. The idea made my skin crawl. There’s nothing worse than being ‘the nice guy’ in a girl’s life. Nice guys don’t get laid. Nice guys are relegated to friend zone hell for eternity.

  “Can I get you a drink?” she asked.

  “A beer would be great.”

  “Oh… I don’t have any alcohol.”

  “You don’t drink?”

  Most of the girl’s I knew were booze hounds. Some of them could out-drink me.

  She shrugged. “I’m not twenty-one yet.”

  I couldn’t help smiling. She really was a good girl.

  “I see,” I said. “Well, if I’d known I would have picked up beer.”

  At that, the guys perked up. “Why don’t you run down to the liquor store and get some,” one of them asked.

  I had no desire to run errands for these assholes. If they thought they were going to turn me into their bitch, they were sorely mistaken.

  “That’s okay,” Sage said. “You don’t have to do that.”

  I decided to turn the tables on them. “Let’s run down and get it together,” I said.

  “Um, I don’t know.”

  Was she nervous about drinking? Christ, she really was innocent, wasn’t she?

  “You can pick out what you like,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  I took her hand and led her towards the door. She stopped to put on a pair of sneakers as we headed out.

  “Bring Jaeger!” Ansel shouted.

  His friend added: “I want absinthe!”

  I had no intention of buying either one of those things. Jaeger is for douchebags, so naturally Ansel loved it. As for absinthe, well, they don’t even sell that at most liquor stores. He probably had some nerdy fantasy about seeing a green fairy and seducing her. It would be a mercy to the absinthe fairy to spare her from the likes of those three.

  I kept hold of Sage’s hand as we headed down the stairs of her apartment. I was surprised she didn’t let go. I could tell she was attracted to me, but something was holding her back. She definitely had her doubts about me.

  No thanks to the three amigos. God knows what kind of nonsense they were filling her head with.

  We headed into the liquor store and walked up and down the aisles. Her wide eyes wandered over all the bottles. The choices were a bit overwhelming. I decided to help her out.

  “Do you like sweet drinks or bitter?”

  “Sweet.”

  “How about vodka or amaretto?”

  She shrugged. I’d forgotten she’d never had alcohol before. It was hard to imagine. I picked up both along with some mixers. I didn’t even glance at the Jaeger. I wouldn’t be caught dead drinking that shit. I picked up two twelve packs of beer and paid.

  Sage stood off to the side shyly. She kept looking around as if she expected to get into trouble. I took the beer; Sage grabbed the brown paper bag with our hard liquor and mixers. She walked slowly as we headed back to her apartment. I had the sense something was wrong. Was she having second thoughts about inviting me over? The three stooges were trying to make her feel like a fool for being attracted to me.

  I hate it when guys try to put down other men in front of a girl just to make themselves look more desirable. It’s pathetic. I had a buddy who used to do this to me all the time. We’d go drinking, a pretty girl would walk by, and all the sudden he’s talking shit about me as loud as he can. Out of spite for him, I’d fuck the girl he was after just to teach him a lesson. It was a lesson he never learned though.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Nothing. It’s just… well, I don’t want you to feel as if you don’t belong. The guys are super protective over me. They’re like my big brothers. They feel obligated to give you a hard time.”

  Sage had no idea what kind of game they were playing. They weren’t looking out for their little sister; they were acting territorial over a girl they felt belonged to them. They wanted in her pants, pure and simple.

  “I think there’s a bit more to their feelings than that,” I said.

  “What do you mean?”

  Her sincerity was disarming. She just didn’t see it. “They think you’re cute. I’m sure they’d be happy to have you as their girlfriend.”

  Sage looked sad. I wondered if I’d said the wrong thing. “You don’t think they’re really my friends?” she
asked.

  “It’s not that they don’t like you-I mean, you clearly have a lot in common. It’s just that they want to be more than just friends. For now, they’re satisfied to hang out with you, but…”

  I didn’t want to state the obvious. They were working every angle to destroy the competition (me) while cozying up to her.

  “But what? I’m not authentic enough for them?”

  “What?”

  Now I was lost. What did authenticity have to do with anything?

  “Nerdy guys, dorks, geeks, whatever you want to call them. They can be awful to girls who are like them. They never think we’re knowledgeable enough on whatever it is they geek out over. They think we’re all posers-that we’re only pretending to like geeky things because it makes us look… I don’t know, cool? The first time I met Ansel, he was wearing a Star Wars t-shirt.”

  Of course he was, I thought. Did any of these guys own adult clothing? They all dressed like little kids.

  “I made a joke about Jar Jar Binks,” she continued. “And he said to me: What the fuck would you know about it? I was shocked. Why was he being so rude? I was just trying to be friendly. Then he turned to his friend and said: This chick thinks she knows Star Wars. Let’s find out. Then he started quizzing me on obscure Star Wars trivia. I answered all his questions correctly. It wasn’t until then that I was deemed acceptable. It left me rattled. I started thinking I wasn’t smart enough or cool enough to hang out with them.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I wanted to laugh. “You’re too good for them. The first time I saw you sitting with those losers, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Here’s a beautiful, funny girl hanging around with a bunch of guys who don’t appreciate her. It didn’t make sense.”

  “If they’re losers, then what am I? They’re a lot smarter than me. They make more money at their jobs than I do. That makes me worse than a loser.”

  “Sweetheart, don’t be silly. You’re smart, sweet and beautiful. What do they bring to the table? An unhealthy level of knowledge about Jar Jar Binks?”

  Sage cracked a smile. At least I’d brightened the mood a little. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

  “Those guys don’t know what they have. You’re unlike any girl I’ve ever met.” It was true. I wasn’t just saying it to make her like me. Sage was beautiful, smart and sweet. She deserved better than those losers. Hell, she deserved better than me.

  We came to her apartment.

  “Don’t worry about me,” I said. “I can handle my own. Those guys don’t intimidate me. And as for you…” I pinched her side and she giggled. “…keep your head up. Don’t let them get to you. Just remember: they’re lucky to have you, not the other way around.”

  She rolled her eyes and smiled shyly. “Okay.”

  “Good girl. Now let’s go upstairs and have a few drinks, then I’m going to kick their asses at Mario Kart.”

  Sage laughed in earnest. She probably thought I would do terribly against them. That was okay. Mario Kart didn’t matter. Sage was what was important.

  3

  When we got back to the apartment I had to listen to the guys whine. When they saw that we’d returned without Jaeger or absinthe they threw a temper tantrum.

  “The liquor store was out,” Sage lied.

  I ignored their whining and started making Sage a lemon drop martini with sugar on the rim of the glass. She lit up as she tasted it.

  “You like it?”

  “Yeah, it’s great,” she said. “It tastes like lemonade.”

  The skinny nerd rolled his eyes. “I like a stiff drink,” he bragged. “Something meant for a man.”

  I couldn’t resist: “You think absinthe is a man’s drink?”

  “It’s not a chick’s drink that’s for sure.”

  I was starting to see what Sage meant about never being good enough for them.

  “Just have a beer and shut up,” I said. I tossed one to him. He missed it and it went sailing across the room.

  After a few drinks we sat down in front of the television to play Mario Kart. I had to push one of the guys out of the way in order to get a seat next to Sage. She saw the scuffle and blushed. Ansel insisted on sitting next to me. He took up half the couch. I didn’t mind though because it meant Sage was practically sitting on my lap. Our legs and arms touched. I was surprised she didn’t pull away. Maybe she wasn’t as shy as I’d originally thought.

  The game started and I became distracted. Predictably, I lost the first ten matches. I didn’t care. I was just happy that Sage had won four of the ten games. I could tell it pissed Ansel off. He’d declared himself an ‘elite gamer,’ early on. He fully expected to wipe the floor with us.

  After about fifteen races, I said: “Let’s make things more interesting.”

  “Do you want us to tie a hand behind our backs to give you a fair shot?” the skinny one snapped.

  The guys all laughed. Sage gave them a weary look, but there was an unmistakable hint of amusement in her eyes.

  “No. Let’s turn it into a drinking game. Every time you get hit with a shell, you have to take a shot.”

  The guys were actually excited by my suggestion. We lined up glasses and filled them full of what was approximately a shot. Sage didn’t own shot glasses so I had to guess at the amount. Just to be an asshole, I filled the guys’ drinks with more vodka than my own and Sage’s. She was a lightweight and I was worried about her getting too drunk.

  I wanted the guys to get wasted and make asses of themselves. Maybe then Sage would see them for who they truly were.

  My plan went off exactly as I’d expected. When the next match started I went out of my way to target the guys. I avoided hitting Sage at all costs. The guys weren’t as kind. They were extremely competitive. Their egos were wrapped up in their success in the game.

  I didn’t get it. I mean, who cares? I don’t define myself by videogames or television and movies. Apparently these three did though. When I hit Ansel with a shell and he was forced to take his third shot of the match, he threw the empty glass on the floor. He looked like a kid throwing a temper tantrum.

  “Ansel,” Sage chastised. “Don’t be a sore loser.”

  He rolled his eyes at her, then did everything he could to make her lose. He failed and Sage ended up winning. I came in third ahead of him. He was pissed.

  “Let’s do it again,” he said.

  “It’s getting late,” Sage said.

  “You just want to quit while you’re ahead. It’s not fair. Don’ t be a bitch, Sage.”

  “Hey, that’s enough,” I said. “Don’t talk to her that way.”

  “Who are you to tell us how to talk to her? She’s our friend. You’re just some meathead trying to get into her pants.”

  I jumped to my feet prepared to fight. I’d been in more than my fair share of fights. They usually involved lots of alcohol followed by my opponent lying bleeding in the street. I’ve never lost a fight. I didn’t expect to lose one against these three. I was ready for them. They all stayed seated. No one jumped up to challenge me.

  “You don’t want talk shit anymore?” I said, trying to provoke them into taking a swing. They didn’t take the bait. They kept their heads down, staring at their controllers.

  “I think we’ve all had a bit too much to drink,” Sage said. She rose to her feet and swayed a bit. I reached out and touched her back, steadying her. The guys watched closely. Their gremlin faces were twisted with impotent rage. They thought of Sage as their girl and they did not want me touching her. Too bad. She never belonged to them.

  “Sage wants you to leave,” I said.

  They all looked to Sage. I didn’t mean to put her on the spot. She looked uncomfortable. Instantly, I knew I’d made a mistake. She didn’t want to choose sides.

  “It’s getting late,” she said. “I think everyone should go.” She emphasized everyone to make sure that I understood I needed to go too. I’d really fucked up in attacking her friends. They
may have been dicks with ulterior motives, but Sage didn’t see them that way. Now I was the bad guy.

  She ushered us all out the door. I’m not used to a girl trying to get rid of me. Usually, I’m the one trying to get the girl out of my apartment the next morning. I pushed the guys out ahead of me. Before Sage could slam the door in my face, I stopped.

  “I had a really good time tonight,” I said.

  Considering I was being thrown out, it was an odd thing to say. If I hadn’t been drunk, I might have understood this.

  “We should do it again sometime,” Sage said.

  I had the feeling she was just trying to be polite. I was blowing this.

  “Why don’t I stay behind and help you clean up?” I offered.

  “I’m good. Thanks.”

  I heard snickering down the fall. The guys were staring at me and laughing.

  “Why don’t we pick something up to eat? I know a great all night bakery. We could hangout, eat donuts and watch Netflix? What do you say?”

  I realized I was getting desperate. Nothing stinks worse than desperation. It’s impossible to wash it off. Once girls catch a whiff of it, they immediately lose interest in you.

  “I’m pretty tired,” Sage said. “Thanks though.”

  She closed the door in my face before I could embarrass myself further. The nerds started laughing in earnest now. My rejection was their joy.

  “Laugh it up, assholes. You won’t do any better with her,” I said.

  “Who says we want to hook-up with Sage?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Please. It’s obvious you want her. I mean, why wouldn’t you want her? She’s gorgeous and she’s into the same shit as you. She’s your dream girl. Don’t try and play it off like you’re too good for her.”

  The guy with the pube-y beard stroked his chin as if he was deep in thought. “Maybe,” he conceded. His friend elbowed him the side and gave him a dirty look. It was treason to side with me. I was the enemy.

  “You’re just lucky Sage is nice,” the other one said. “It’s so obvious you don’t know the first thing about Doctor Who or anything else.”

  “If anyone is lucky that Sage is a sweet girl it’s you three. You treat her like shit. You boss her around and demand she prove herself with bullshit tests about her nerd bona fides. She could do better than you three and you know it.”