Taking a deep breath, she decided where to start. “It was like going to a party where… you feel like the cool kids invited you as a joke. Do you know what I mean?”
Matisse, Ryan and Apollo nodded, but Seok and Cai shook their heads.
“Like—they'd give each other these loaded looks—because they were all on the same page. Knew what they were doing, what they wanted. But I was on the outside. I’d answer a question and think they’re going to twist that around or that’s not what they meant.” She tried to find a way to make them understand. “Maybe it was the way I imagined it would be going to another country. Everyone speaking a different language, and there are rules you have to follow, but you don’t even know to ask what those rules are. Someone translates for you, but you still aren’t getting the entire message. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”
“I understand,” Seok answered.
Peering at Cai, whose face had only gotten paler, she canted her head. He had more questions, but he was fading fast. “You need rest,” she stated.
“One more question, and then I’ll lie down,” he replied. “What did they say to you about us?”
The spicy barbecue burned her stomach. “They—” Her cheeks warmed, and she covered them with her hands. “It’s embarrassing.” At her words, Matisse glanced up sharply, exchanging a meaningful look with Cai. “Dr. Totten, he was the worst. He… um… he said he didn’t see what the appeal was.” She couldn’t meet their eyes anymore and stared at the wood, tracing the patterns with her fingertips. “To me. He didn’t see why anyone would be interested in me, except for”—she cleared her throat—“sex.”
Cai lurched from the chair, reaching for her. He held her so tightly, the breath huffed out of her body, and she struggled for air. His lips touched her neck, then her jaw, and her cheek. “You’re worth it,” he murmured. “You can’t believe the terrible things people say. They don’t know you. Don’t know us.”
“I know,” she got out between his kisses. A calloused hand tugged her arm, and she found herself in Apollo’s strong arms. “You have nothing to be ashamed of,” he grumbled, his deep voice vibrating his chest. “Nothing.”
Stepping away, she tucked a curl behind her ear and gazed around the kitchen. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”
“No.” Their voices blended together.
“Tomorrow,” she began. “Tomorrow we try to get to Tyler.”
A chair scraped across the floor, grabbing her attention. Cai, pale and sweaty, leaned his elbows on his knees. “I need to go to bed. But first thing tomorrow, I want to see him.”
“I’ll go with you,” Nora offered, but Cai shook his head.
“I need to explain things to Tyler,” he said. “Matisse?”
Matisse’s dark eyes tracked from Nora to Cai. “Yeah?”
“I want to see everything you found.”
30
Matisse
“Not tonight,” Nora interjected, voice more firm than Matisse was used to hearing.
“We resolve this thing now,” Cai argued.
But she stood her ground. “Cai—” Tugging her hair, she sighed. “It’s late. You’re falling asleep on your feet.”
“Nora…” Matisse would have had a hard time denying her anything she asked in that tone. Cai wavered. “Tyler.”
“If you’re going to bat for Tyler, you need to be on your A-game. Please go to bed.” She cupped Cai’s face in her hands and kissed his chin. “Please?”
With his hands resting on her shoulders, Cai kissed the top of her head and stepped away. “Okay.” He stayed there for second, lips dragging across her hair before he let go. Matisse watched him go. It seemed to him Cai wanted to stay. He cast a longing glance over his shoulder, but forced himself out of the room.
I don’t want to leave, either. Not tonight. Tonight, after everything he’d learned, he needed to be close to her, watch her sleep, whisper in her ear. Whatever it took to assure himself that she was alive and whole, and Dr. Murray hadn’t managed to break her.
They all had similar ideas. Apollo held tightly to her hands, whispering in her ear as he trailed upstairs after her. Breath held, Matisse waited for Nora’s answer, sure she’d give his friend whatever he wanted. But she paused. A quick glance at Matisse, and she stood on tiptoes, whispering back.
Head low, Apollo nodded and left without looking back. Seok and Ryan, intercepted the exchange between their friend and Nora. However, they said quiet, and thankfully, brief, goodnights at Matisse’s door.
The door shut with a soft snick, and then Nora strode to him. Matisse shifted onto the bed, pushing his back against the headboard. Gracefully, she slung a leg over his lap, and folding her arms against her chest, leaned into him. She stayed there, silent, the only sound her breathing.
It was exactly what he needed—her weight, her smell, her presence. It centered and calmed him. He stroked her back, trailing his fingers along her spine, lingering on each bump, and she burrowed into him a little deeper.
“How much did you read?”
Fighting to hold onto his calm, he shrugged.
“Most of it?” she asked. “You know about the interviews and testing?”
After he sucked in a deep breath and held it, he finally answered. “Yes.”
“You have questions.” She wound her arms around him.
“Just one.” It really only came down to this important question. “Are you all right?”
Her hair tickled his chin and caught in his stubble as she nodded. “I am. I got out of this intact. But I wonder what would have happened if it hadn’t been for you.”
The fear was well founded. The experiment didn’t work if the subject had a support system, and Dr. Murray’s next step was to isolate Nora.
He’d wanted to take her away from them.
A wave of desperation swept through him, and he pushed her back. Surprised, she jerked, but then his mouth was on hers. He wasn’t able to be gentle. Lips firm, tongue demanding, he ravaged her. Her nails dug into his back, pinching his skin as she grabbed a handful of shirt and ground into his lap.
The tight hold she had on him was everything he needed. “Cher.” He moaned when her mouth left his to suck in a deep breath. He kissed her neck. Light, pecking kisses that started from her ear and went to her shoulder then back up again. Her head tipped, like it was too heavy for her to hold up. He was so hard he could feel his pulse pounding in his dick, but he didn’t want to push her too hard. Their relationship was special, and he had plans for their first time.
Right now, though, he needed her.
“Let me touch you,” Nora whispered, and he groaned. She was going to make this difficult for him. Shirt pushed out of the way, she skimmed his back, and cupped his shoulder blades to pull him closer.
Her lips found his, tongue teasing, lips sucking at his. She tasted sweet and spicy, like Korean barbecue, and he chuckled. “Bulgogi.”
Ripping her head away, Nora covered her mouth and stared at him with wide eyes. “I need to brush my teeth.” She swung her leg over him and lurched toward the door. He stopped her.
“Don’t go. I don’t care,” he assured her and tugged her back so she landed sideways on his lap.
She stared up at him, eyes narrowed in disbelief. “But—”
The gold and brown in her eyes entranced him, and he found himself exploring her face. Brown and green and gold swirled in her eyes, and along her cheekbones was a perfect rose flush. Keeping his eyes on her, he bent at the waist. He touched his lips to the tip of her nose, then her forehead, and finally her lips. “All I want is to keep you close tonight, Nora. You center me. I can breathe with you.”
She threaded her hands through his hair, dragged his longish locks behind his ears and smoothed them over his forehead. His eyes closed, and she tugged him closer to her mouth.
The tip of her tongue touched his upper lip then his lower lip, and he opened his mouth. Grazing his tongue across hers with the lightest of contact revved hi
s pulse more than racing his bike. He’d never been this gentle before, never been as in tune with a partner the way he was now with Nora.
When her breath hitched, he filed away the exact movement he’d made so he could do it again and elicit the same response. Her fingers tightened in his hair, a pinch of pain with his pleasure, showing him his kisses had the power to make her lose control.
A second later though, he was the one fighting for control. Turning her head, her lips brushed his pants and his hard length forced itself against the zipper. She hadn’t touched his skin, but she didn’t need to. Watching her eyes close, her swollen lips pucker against the material of his pants, burned him.
“Cher…” he warned. Heat crept up his neck. Sweat rolled down his back.
All he could see was her profile, but the edge of her mouth turned up. Sly girl. She knew exactly what she was doing to him.
But he was in control of his actions, and this was not how he would make love to her. Flowers, candles, music—he wasn’t really sure yet if those would play a part, but he did know he wouldn’t make love as a way to counter his fear.
If he had his way, she would be the last woman he made love to, which was fast, yes, but that was the way his brain worked. All his life he struggled to compromise. Once he made a decision, he stuck to it. When he decided to enter into this relationship with Nora and share her with the friends who were closer than family, a door had closed. He wasn’t searching anymore. He found what he needed, what he never knew he wanted.
Slouching, he scooted down the bed while lifting Nora to the pillow. He stood and pushed back the sheets to encourage her to burrow beneath them. She did as he wanted, getting comfortable and angling her body toward his. He ripped off his t-shirt in time to see her eyes widen and rake his chest, and he smiled smugly.
“Pants off?” He let his fingers linger on the button. “Cher?” he prompted when her mouth opened, and she got a dazed look in her eyes. This girl was good for his ego as well as his heart.
“Yes,” she squeaked, face flushing.
Slowly, he unzipped the pants before hooking his fingers in the waist. “Baby, these hips don’t lie,” he whispered, shoving the pants down his legs, and Nora barked out a laugh before burying her face in the pillow. Knee on the bed, he crawled toward her. With each motion he made sure to flex the muscles in his arms. She blushed, and he lunged, kissing her loudly before burying his face at the place where her neck met her shoulder.
Her laugh turned into a moan. “Matisse.”
He held himself over her for a moment, then eased down and sucked gently on her skin before pushing off to curl around her back. “Go to sleep, Nora.”
She stilled, glancing at him over her shoulder. Her eyebrows were drawn together, lips turned down. “Matisse. I’m confused.”
“Be patient,” he whispered, gathering her curls and flipping them over her shoulder. “I’m waiting for the perfect moment.”
The change was immediate. Her body relaxed, becoming heavy in his arms. She kissed him before settling back into the bed. “Okay.”
One more kiss was all he allowed himself. Nora’s sound and scent surrounded him. Her heat and weight comforted him, and in seconds, he was asleep.
31
Matisse
Matisse woke up with a plan. The peace he’d found during the night with Nora disappeared the moment his eyes opened. There was no more putting off the inevitable.
It was time to confront Dr. Murray. These experiments had ruined three lives, taken five, and had endless, unseen ripples.
When his eyes popped open, he found Nora staring at him. “Morning.”
“Creepy,” he teased, but kissed her nose. Bounding out of bed, he was halfway to the door when she called out for him.
Hand on the doorknob, he glanced back and lifted an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“I want to see what you found, too,” she replied, sitting against the headboard and playing with the hem of the blanket. “Mystery Incorporated meeting in ten?”
There was no other appropriate response except to kiss her. He strode toward her, and her eyes widened and cheeks flushed. Chuckling, he kissed. Deep and rough. “Ten minutes,” he agreed.
He hadn’t made it out of Nora’s bedroom before Cai had opened his door. Silently, he followed Matisse into his bedroom, arms crossed, gaze serious. “Two seconds,” Matisse said quickly, jogging to the bathroom to splash water on his face and brush his teeth. Holding the toothbrush in his mouth, he returned to find Cai perched on the edge of his bed, staring at his laptop as if it held the answers to all the questions in the universe. And maybe it did. It certainly held some life or death ones right now.
A sharp rap on the door later, and Nora joined them. “Fire it up.” She pointed decisively at the laptop and sat next to Cai, one leg curling beneath her as she angled her body toward the desk.
After he flung his toothbrush on his bureau, he got to work. He’d saved the files, the ones directly related to Nora and the study, to his computer, but Dr. Murray’s previously published work was accessible in scientific journals, and for those, he had merely copied the links.
“I’m printing his other research,” he said, doing just that. “To give you context for this study, as well as his bio. I can’t have you guys reading over my shoulder, I’ll lose my mind.” He had to raise his voice over the noise of the printer, and within moments, Seok, Apollo, and Ryan had joined them, hair mussed, and eyes sleepy.
“I see Fred and Velma are already hard at work,” Apollo joked and kissed Nora. He pulled her into his lap to settle himself on Matisse’s bed.
Rolling his eyes, he ignored Apollo, and found the file on his desktop that held Dr. Murray’s current study.
“He chooses subjects randomly,” Matisse explained, part of his brain wondering if he was supposed to be Velma, because Cai was obviously golden-boy, Fred. “But he cuts them from the study if they don’t fit the criteria he’s looking for.”
“I thought you scanned these articles,” Ryan said and reached for the first pages ejected from the printer.
“Eidetic memory,” Matisse said.
“What does that mean?” Nora asked. “Is it a photographic memory?”
“Yes,” Matisse answered.
“Except—” Seok interjected, “Matisse can also recall most of his life events, too. Ask him what day of the week July 15th, 2008 was.”
“Tuesday,” he said. “I’m not performing today. Can we move on?”
“Wow,” Nora whispered then added, “That must be really hard.”
Matisse’s fingers, which had been flying across the keys, paused. In all his life, no one had ever sympathized with the difficulties that came with not forgetting, not even these guys who’d become his family.
“Sorry,” Nora said quickly. “I didn’t mean to distract you.”
“No—” He spun in his chair. “No. It is. It sucks not being able to forget.”
Nora squeezed Apollo’s arm, and he let her up to come to Matisse. Sitting sideways in his lap, she leaned her head against his chest, kissed him on his pec then rested her ear against his heart.
“On the flip side,” he whispered, not caring if anyone else heard him, “I’ll never forget the first time I saw you.”
“Tisse…” His name came out on a breath, and he smiled.
“Anyway—” Clearing his throat, he focused on the first file he’d saved. “Nora was the perfect candidate because she was alone, had no family who actively cared about her whereabouts, and had a history of neglect and trauma.”
“Ugh.” The words left her lips with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “I sound like a catch, don’t I?”
“First impressions and assumptions, baby,” Apollo called from the bed. “They had no idea you have a backbone of steel.”
“Exactement,” Matisse agreed, and the other guys made similar sounds of agreement.
“So Dr. Murray looks for people without support systems then does what?” Seok asked.
&n
bsp; It was Cai who answered this time. “Isolates them, attacks their beliefs, humiliates them, and makes them believe they are worthless.” When Matisse met his eyes, Cai’s golden gaze was dimmed. “It’s a classic cult brainwashing technique. Tried and true. Once they break you down enough, they begin filling their disciples’ heads with whatever bullshit they’re spouting.” It hurt Matisse’s heart to hear Cai speak so bitterly. Of all of them, he had first-hand knowledge of the damage this could do.
“The hardest thing about our relationship,” Nora observed, “is not having long enough arms to hug you all at the same time.”
“There’s a superhero—” Seok began. Matisse groaned, causing Nora to giggle and the other guys to chuckle.
“Cai’s right.” He brought them back on track.
“So Dr. Murray got Reed to shoot the kids at the school and Tilly to jump off the building?” Apollo clarified.
“No.” The file was now open on Matisse’s screen. In it, one of the doctor’s colleagues, Dr. Jessica Chase, went through Nora’s vital statistics after intentionally terrifying her on a wild drive through the town. “They weren’t there, yet. For Reed and Tilly, and I suspect Tyler, though I haven’t opened all his files, they’d managed to break them down enough to leave them hopeless. Their mental health… well… let’s just say it wasn’t good.”
“They felt hopeless,” Cai mused. “And as for Tyler, I bet he was trying to protect the one support system he felt he had—me.”
Matisse’s screen blinked and caught his attention. In one smooth movement, he lifted Nora out of his lap and spun to face his computer. Maniacally typing, he began uploading the files, but with each keystroke, a folder disappeared, blinking out of existence. “Shit!”
Horrified, he watched as he lost control of his computer. Someone had remotely taken over and was systematically erasing everything he had. The screen went black, though the computer hadn’t powered down. He slapped down the cover, pushed back from his desk, and cradled his head in his hands. “Fuck.”
Finding Truth Page 16
