Newborn Nazi

by Rhoda D'Ettore

  Anna wrapped her arms around her friend, "There, there love. It will be all right. You will see. You are not alone, and hopefully, we can see each other from time to time. I will try to help in any way I can."

  Still crying, Jane was able to utter, "How? How will it be all right? I only have enough clothes for each of us for a few days. Nothing more. How am I going to afford to buy things for a baby?"

  Understanding the fear, Anna tried consoling her friend, "You said you have kin that you will be staying with? You won't be alone then. It would be worse if you were completely alone. It's happened, so there is nothing to do but move forward."

  Trying to control herself, Jane took a few deep breaths, and replied, "But I have never even met them. They could throw me out on the street realizing they have another mouth to feed." The situation seemed hopeless. She realized that by the time she got settled, and the news of her pregnancy reached Thomas, the baby could already be born. She felt so alone. In the past, he was always there for her. She had already had two difficult pregnancies that failed, and she hoped that she would not have to suffer through that again either. She cried herself to sleep that night, all the while, Liam kept patting her face and asking her what was wrong. She realized that her saving grace was that he was such a well-behaved, intelligent boy. Had he been otherwise, the trip would have been all the more difficult.

  The day they arrived at the first port, they were told they had landed in New York. Many of the women and children disembarked, while others stayed behind, bound for Philadelphia. There was an excited buzz flowing through the air with the talk of new adventures. For many, this signified the reality that they were starting new lives in a new land. With half of the passengers gone, there was a lot more room to stretch out and walk about the deck. It had seemed like an eternity since she had seen the sun, or even smelled fresh air. A few more days, just a few more days she kept telling herself. She realized that there would be no one at port to meet her. Because sails were all they had for power, it was impossible to tell how long a voyage would take. It depended on the winds and how rough the waters were. Fear and panic started to grip her again. She thanked God for her new friend, Anna, who helped her survive the voyage. All of their children got along well, and she intended on continuing this friendship in the new city.

  When the ship docked in Philadelphia, there was great cheer throughout the passengers. Finally, they were going to see land, and eat well again. As they climbed the stairs to the upper deck, Jane's eyes had to adjust from the weeks of darkness. "Mamai! It's too bright! It's burning my eyes!" Liam exclaimed.

  "It's all right, your eyes will adjust in a minute," Jane assured him as she blocked the sun from his eyes with her hand. Two sacks of clothes, that is all that she carried with her, and her son. She slung the sacks over her shoulder as she picked Liam off the deck. She did not want him getting lost in the crowd. Anna had written down her new address for Jane to call on her, and Jane surely intended to do so. The women and the children said their goodbyes while still on the ship. As Jane and Liam climbed down the plank from the ship, Anna and her children disappeared somewhere behind them as they all slowly disembarked onto the dock.

  Before they could continue to their new life in America, they had to stand in several long lines, fill out papers and more papers, and get inspected. Men who appeared to be doctors prodded around in their ears, their hair, and poked them everywhere. They never said a word, just did their poking, then jotted something down, and hollered, "Next!" After three hours of these lines and inspections, they were finally released into their new world.

  Approaching the street, crowds formed to find transportation to their new homes. There were horse carriages lined up waiting to take the passengers away. Jane reached into her pocket and got out the American coins her family had sent her, along with cousin Katie's address. Fighting this crowd for a carriage was as bad as trying to find a place to sit on the ship. She had blocked everything else from her mind other than finding a carriage. She might have been a dainty housewife, but she was also from a family of eight children, which meant that she knew how to push and fight when needed. Her older brother, Michael, always said that she was the strong one of the family, and she probably proved that with this trip.

  Michael was her favorite sibling and the closest to her emotionally. It may have been because his wife had died years ago, leaving him childless, or perhaps because he was Thomas' best friend. The fact that Michael had no family allowed him more time than the other siblings to spend with Jane and her family.

  While she was bent over speaking to Liam, trying to rub the dirt off his face, she overheard some passersby. "Glory be! Just what we need, more of 'em Irish coming off the boats. They all got consumption, and they are intent on getting us all sick." Jane did not move her head, but could see the two women in her peripheral vision. One was short and fat, the other tall and thin. They looked like polar opposites.

  "Well, it's bloody awful if you ask me. And look at that frock! It's a least a decade out of season. Straight from the country, I wager. She best be going back there." The women were dressed in modern clothing with colors and matching hats. They had several layers of ruffles and looked impressive. Jane looked down at the dress that she had been wearing for over a week without changing. She could smell her own stench, and she wondered if the women were right. The last thing she heard of the conversation before the women were out of sight was, "This used to be a respectable city, now it is Little Ireland. I best be tellin' my husband we need to change residence. I'll not be living about the likes of them."

  Finally, she secured a carriage, and as they were driven to Katie's home, she began to look around taking in the sights and sounds of the city. She had never before seen anything like it. Liam kept pointing, "Look Mamai, look!" There were tons of shops along the streets, as well as horse drawn carts selling produce in the parks and along residential areas. They passed a school house and Liam once again got excited, "Is that school? Will I go there?" He was such a precocious child and talked about going to school all the time.

  "You are only three, you have to wait a little longer before you can attend school," she said while rubbing his head. She hated letting him down. Jane and Liam's eyes drank in the wonderment of the city. Soon Jane became fixated on the tallest of the structures. It was a huge tower, something one might find in a fairy tale. She could not imagine what use it had, but it appeared to dwarf the other buildings as if were a giant in one of those fairy tales.

  She was fascinated by the hucksters on the streets. In Ireland, if one wanted fruits and vegetables, he had to grow them. In Philadelphia men with horse drawn carts walked along the streets, bringing the produce directly in front of one's home. She was shocked when she heard the booming voices of the men selling the produce. She thought she heard them calling in several different languages. In her land, it was rude to raise one's voice so loudly, but in America some people apparently made a living from it.

  The carriage driver was trying to be nice, but he had such a thick accent himself, that Jane did not comprehend most of his words. Italy, she thought, he was probably Italian. She realized this as he boasted about the local politics and community. He seemed to be trying to help her, but after not understanding the first few minutes of the ride, she stopped listening. That was a trait she learned while growing up with so many siblings in such a small home. As a survival tactic, it was often necessary to disengage the auditory senses, refusing to hear the noise around her.

  Tower of Tears Chapter 4

  The Family

  The carriage stopped, and Liam jumped down as Jane paid the driver. She was not sure how much money such a ride should cost, she just assumed he asked for the correct amount. It was not until later that she discovered she had been cheated. But by then it was too late. She climbed down from the carriage, bent forward and tried to wipe Liam's face clean as best she could. She did not want her family meeting them for the first time looking dirty and disheveled.

/>   She took a look around, realizing everything was different; the clothes, the shoes, and the accents. At home she could see tens of acres of land from her kitchen window. Here, the grass grew sporadically through the well beaten dirt paths. Back home she knew everyone, here she knew no one. The city even smelled different from home. It smelled like roast pig, urine, and horse manure. She looked at the ground more closely, hoping that Liam did not step in any manure. Her first impression upon the family would be bad enough as is, smelling like cattle would not help.

  As they walked closer to the front door, a woman from an upper floor emptied a chamber pot from the window onto the street. Jane jumped to try to avoid the disgusting shower, and Liam let out a shrill sound as he ran away from the plopping fluids. "Mamai! That was not nice of that lady!"

  She tried to straighten out her dress, then grabbed her son's hand and approached number 805. She could feel a lump form in her throat as she knocked and waited at the door. From the outside, it looked like quite a respectable home. The windows had thick glass, a type she had not seen in years due to the British taxation. The door was a heavy oak from the forests of Pennsylvania. Jane had never seen its like before, and she wondered if the family needed so much strength and security due to a high crime rate.

  She heard yelling in the background, "Wait a minute, there is someone at the door......didn't you hear the knock? Is someone going to answer the door......no? Thanks for nothing!" It was a high pitched, female's voice. But in a way, Jane recognized it, as it had the familiar maternal sound of annoyance vibrating through it. The voice was getting closer, then the door opened. As a young looking woman in her thirties answered the door, she looked Jane and Liam over once then asked, "Is it you? Are you Jane?" The woman had dark hair pulled back in a bun and light blue eyes. Jane saw not a bit of familial resemblance in her face, was this truly her cousin? She was wearing a dark apron over a light colored dress and a questioning look on her face.

  Jane was quite nervous and meekly stated, "Yes, I am Jane. This is my son, Liam. My cousin Katie invited us to stay."

  With that, a huge smile appeared across Katie's face, "'Tis I! I am Cousin Katie! Please, come in, come in!" Katie began hollering to the others in the house, "Everybody, they are here, they are here!" The house was small, with a living area and kitchen on the first floor, and two bedrooms on the second floor. The walls were made of a dark brick Jane had never seen before, and a fire place made of large round stones. Jane's home had only a wood burning stove for heat, and it did a poor job. The third floor was an attic that had been converted into a bedroom for Jane and Liam. To Jane, it was a mansion. They were accustomed to an entire family living in a one room mud home, that was divided into areas by sheets. The welcoming smells of delicious food wafted through the air, making it truly smell like a fine home.

  What seemed like a very large group of people surrounded them, and Jane could not remember all of their names. At this point, she did not want to either. Her main concern was to scrub off the five weeks of grime that was encrusted on her, and then sleep in a real bed. She soon politely asked Katie if they could be excused to their room.

  However, Liam started to get restless, "Mamai, can we eat? I smell food!" Jane could not make out all of the smells, but apples was sure to be one.

  Katie exclaimed, "Good Heavens, what was I thinking! You must be exhausted and starving! Would you like me to bring the two of you something to eat in your room?"

  Jane appreciated the gesture, "Just some cheese and bread perhaps? Some milk to wash it down would be lovely." The exhaustion showed on her face as it seemed even her facial muscles were too tired to flex into a grateful smile.

  Katie responded, "My brother, Richard, will show you to your room, and I will bring you a tray."

  Jane turned to her and said with a slight smile, "Thank you, for such generosity and understanding." Then she followed Richard to the third floor attic. It was a steep climb from the second floor to their room. As she trekked upward, she wondered if there was a lock on the door. She was concerned for Liam's safety. Perhaps she could put a chair against the door so he would not fall down the steps.

  She reached for the knob to check. No lock. She did not want to ask for additional courtesies so soon after her arrival, but she needed to address the situation as some point.

  "Welcome to our home, cousin. Should you need anything, please ask. I do admire the sacrifices you have made for your journey," then Richard retreated silently from the room.

  When Richard left the room, Jane turned and she asked Liam, "Well, what do you think? Do you like it so far?" Liam looked around, there was a small closet that housed a chamber pot in one corner of the room, and a window in the other corner. The room seemed huge compared to the ship and definitely more private.

  "Who else is going to stay here with us?"

  "No one. This room belongs to just the two of us. But you must never come and go alone. Those steps are too high for you. Do you understand?"

  With wide eyes and a big smile he said, "Yes Mamai, this house is really big, I will be careful! They are nice people too!" That made her feel better. Had he been scared or nervous, she would have felt guilty for bringing him to such a strange place. He started to rub his eyes again, which was the tell-tale sign that he needed a nap. Jane was exhausted as well.

  "Mamai, how many brothers and sisters will I have here? There looked like a bunch of 'em! Are they all mine?" His round cheeks gave way to another bright smile.

  "They are not your brothers and sisters, they are your cousins." Liam did not seem to like that statement. He had wanted siblings from the moment he could express himself, perhaps even before. Jane tried to distract him "Liam, darling, why don't we lie down and take a little nap. We had a long journey and need to rest." She had forgotten about eating now, she was stretched out on a very real, and very soft bed, and it almost felt like home. The bed had a thin metal head board and foot board, and the mattress was old, yet it was much more comfortable than the flea infested, urine soaked straw of the ship. Before she knew it, they were both fast asleep. When Katie brought the tray up, she left it on the table, not wanting to wake them. Jane and Liam nestled together, looking too peaceful to wake.

  Jane dreamed of her homeland. Green fields in every direction, small homes nestled within those fields, and the comfort of knowing everyone within a day's journey. It all seemed so far away and different from where she now was.

  She was a child, skipping about the field holding a stick, when her sister, Erin, tried to take it from her. Jane wrestled it out of Erin's hands, twisting, as both girls screamed. Her favorite brother appeared--not yet a man--but with the wisdom of an adult. "What have ya? You need not fight! You can share it, or I can find ya another! But you are kin, and kin does not fight."

  The girls were stubborn and still tugged at each other over the stick as Michael swooped Jane over his shoulder, "Come on now, lass! Give it up! It's just a stick!" Michael considered that a diversion might ease the tension between the two girls. "How about a swim in the lake? I'll race ya?" The two small girls looked at each other, then headed off for the lake.

  As Thomas approached in the dream, he gave a wave to Michael, "Hello, my friend! Best you not concern yerself with wrangling children, that is a woman's concern." Thomas was thin with bright white teeth that housed a cocky smile. He had several light freckles that highlighted his cheeks, making him more appealing to Jane's eyes.

  He looked at the girls and nodded toward Jane, "That one there, she is fierce. I pity the man who marries that one."

  "Aye! Right you are, my friend, right you are!" agreed Michael.

  "I would say we might need to charm the men away, as St. Patrick did with the snakes, but I fear she will do that for us!" Thomas said, having no idea that he would eventually be the one to capture her heart.

  Jane's eyes forced themselves open, dragging her away from her dream, and she was left in total darkness. She could hear Liam breathing at the bottom of the b
ed, where he sometimes moved himself in the night. She had a sinking feeling of dread in her stomach, a feeling that she should never have come to America. But now it was too late. With a nagging feeling, she tried to force herself back to sleep.

  Tower of Tears Chapter 5

  The Deception

  The next morning, Jane awoke in a panic. In her newly awakened state she was bewildered as to where she was, and Liam was nowhere to be found. She jumped up and ran down the long narrow stairs, confused and screaming for Liam. She finally realized where she was, and feared he could have fallen down the stairs without an adult to accompany him. She flew the rest of the way down the steep staircase as if she had wings, and when she got to the landing below, she heard him. He was laughing and playing with other children as she approached the living area.

  "What Mamai? I'm right here!" Liam exclaimed with a smile. He was happy, surrounded by other children. She had felt guilty in the past for not being able to provide him with a sibling, but here he could be content.

  Mary Catherine, Katie's oldest quickly reproached him, "Not Mamai! Here we say Mommy." Liam repeated the word “mommy” several times, but later instinctively said mamai again. Old habits are hard to break. Mary Catherine looked like her mother with brilliant blue eyes and chestnut hair. She was 10 years old and had already mastered the art of wrangling children. Mary Catherine was confused, however. She did not understand why these new relatives had come, and yet her father had gone. She slowly approached Katie and quietly asked, "Mother, may I ask you a question, please?"

  Katie responded in the affirmative, curious as to what concern was lurking in her child's mind. "Mother, I was wondering about father. It has been a long time since we last saw him. Is there something we should know? Are these new people meant to take father's place?"

  Katie had been dreading this moment. For months she had been telling her children that their father was away working, and would be home soon. What should she say now? "Mary Catherine, the world is a place for adults, your father is such an adult. He must go off to work in order to support all of us. You know that. When he is able, he'll be home." Liam's joyous screams interrupted her thoughts.