Give Yourself Away

by Barbara Elsborg

  March gave a long groan. “Are we ever going to be able to be naked and not fuck?”

  Caleb smiled. “No.”

  “No matter where we are?”

  “Well, there are a limited number of places where we can get away with this.”

  March gave a heavy sigh. “I can’t believe we did this on the beach.”

  “Want to wash off in the sea?”

  “You’ve got to be kidding.”

  Caleb took a look around. No one. He jumped up and raced down to the water. Course, when he hit the water he wanted to race straight out again, but he kept going until he was in up to his waist and then dived beneath the surface. He came up to find March in front of him.

  “You’re crazier than me,” March said. “What the hell have I unleashed?”

  “I love you.” Caleb wasn’t going to wait for March to say it. The words were in Caleb’s heart and he wanted March to hear them, wanted March to say them.

  He could see the struggle on March’s face and had a moment of doubt, but maybe this time Caleb could be the brave one.

  “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.”

  “Are you sure?” March asked.

  Caleb laughed. “Yes.”

  “That’s a good thing,” March said. “Because I’ve always loved you. Right from the moment I walked into that playground and saw you standing there in a blazer that was too big and pants that were too tight and eyes the color of holly. I had to fasten my blazer so I didn’t give myself away.”

  “You always had it done up whenever I was around.”

  “Now you know why. And I don’t think things are going to change anytime soon. It’s going to make seeing you dance in public particularly difficult.”

  “I’m only going to dance for you.”

  “You’re not going to the audition?”

  Caleb froze. “What audition?”

  “There’s this teacher I found. She says she’ll take a look at you dance, and if you’re good enough, she’ll accept you into her school. There’s only one snag.”

  “What?”

  “She lives in London. The school’s in London.”

  “I’m not leaving you,” Caleb said at once.

  “I thought maybe I could get a job in London and we can keep the house here and come back at weekends.”

  “My…back.”

  “Will be sorted.”

  “I’m too old.”

  “No you’re not. Okay, so you’re not going to make the Bolshoi, but you want to dance and now you have the chance.”

  “She’ll think I’m crap.”

  March cupped Caleb’s face in his hands. “You’re brilliant. You can do anything.”

  “As long as you’re with me.”

  “With or without me.”

  “No. Only with you.”

  March folded Caleb into his arms and whispered, “I love you. I loved you as Tye and I love you as Caleb. I’ll love you forever.”

  It was all Caleb had ever wanted.

  Epilogue

  “Be careful. Hold on with both hands. I said both hands. Don’t you give me that look. Do as you’re told or you’re going home.” March turned and gave Caleb a despairing glance. “You come and tell her.”

  “Isla, do as Papa says,” Caleb called.

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  Caleb bit back his laugh at March’s glare. He leaned back on the bench as March fluttered around after Isla as she climbed all over the play equipment in the park. He was there to catch her at the bottom of the slide, there to make sure she didn’t fall when she hung out of the treehouse.

  “You can’t use the zip wire,” March said. “You’re too little.”

  The six-year-old huffed and grabbed the bar. Caleb knew March would catch her if she fell, though he doubted that would happen. She was like a cat and just as fearless. Isla whooped as she launched herself off the platform and March raced after her.

  She was four years old when they adopted her. Mistreated by her birth parents, Isla had been wary, silent and awkward, wetting the bed most nights and turned down by several couples. Now it was hard to shut her up, hard to stop her doing anything once she’d set her mind to it.

  The irony was that Caleb didn’t stress about her getting hurt, anywhere near as much as he thought he would and nowhere near as much as March. The little monkey deliberately wound March up. Caleb smiled as he watched March climb through the roped maze in pursuit of their daughter. He was going to get stuck.

  Life was just about perfect. All those years he’d been abused, if it meant this was his reward, then it had been worth it. No one knew who he was. They’d managed to keep the secret.

  It had been tricky with the adoption people because Caleb’s history was sketchy. They’d thought for a while they’d be turned down but then all the issues that had been raised seemed to fall away and Isla had been allowed to go home with them. Caleb wondered if Jasim had had any hand in that. They’d heard nothing from him, seen nothing about him, but Caleb found himself wondering sometimes what he was doing, whether he was happy.

  They’d moved to London six months after March first pulled Caleb from the sea. Five years later, March was still working at the University of Greenwich and that’s where they’d bought a house. They’d renovated it together while they lived in one room and cooked on a Primus stove.

  At March’s urging, Caleb had laser surgery to correct his vision and, following treatment, his back was now without a mark.

  The ballet teacher Caleb had danced for pointed out so many faults at his audition that Caleb had fled the room, straight into March’s arms and fought back tears. But Maria had come after him, demanded to know what the hell he was doing walking away and told him she’d never seen anyone dance so well when they’d taught themselves.

  Now he danced professionally, and when he wasn’t busy at the weekend, they went to Dorset to the cottage. Isla loved watching them on the water. Caleb had his own board, though he wasn’t as daring as March. He enjoyed kitesurfing, but knowing he’d made March happy to be sharing the sport pleased Caleb the most. March’s parents, who’d moved to the UK after Isla’s adoption, were happy to babysit.

  March still liked scary sports, but he listened to Caleb’s worries and they compromised.

  March came back to the bench with Isla riding on his shoulders. “Home?”

  Caleb pushed to his feet. “I thought it was my turn for a ride?”

  Isla laughed. “Silly Daddy.”

  “Later,” March said and winked at him.

  Acknowledgments

  The RNLI, the Royal National Lifeboat Association was founded in 1824. It provides a 24-hour search-and-rescue service up to 100 nautical miles from the shores of the UK. It’s independent of the government and relies on voluntary contributions in order to operate. Caleb’s rescue from the cave was based on a real-life rescue in September 2014 by the St. Agnes lifeboat. Very brave men!

  I’d also like to thank the inspiration that is the dancer Polunin doing an interpretation of Hozier’s “Take Me to Church”. As soon as I watched him perform to that music, I had to make Caleb a dancer.

  Dorset is the setting for the story but I’ve taken artistic license with the names of the towns and the beaches. It’s a gorgeous county and well worth a visit.

  Last, but by no means least, I’d like to pay tribute to those individuals who’ve been kidnapped and held against their will. I can only brush the surface of how terrible life must have been and I don’t intend with this story to in any way trivialize what happened to them. What I wanted to do was show hope.

  About the Author

  Barbara Elsborg lives in West Yorkshire in the North of England. She always wanted to be a spy, but having confessed to everyone without them even resorting to torture, she d
ecided it was not for her. Vulcanology scorched her feet. A morbid fear of sharks put paid to marine biology. So, instead, she spent several years successfully selling cyanide.

  After dragging up two rotten, ungrateful children and frustrating her sexy, devoted, wonderful husband (who can now stop twisting her arm), she finally has time to conduct an affair with an electrifying plugged-in male, her laptop.

  Her books feature quirky heroines and bad boys, and she hopes they are as much fun to read as they are to write.

  Visit www.barbaraelsborg.com for more information about Barbara’s books and for her blog posts. She’s also on Facebook at www.facebook.com/barbara.elsborg and Twitter at www.twitter.com/BarbaraElsborg.

  Look for these titles by Barbara Elsborg

  Now Available:

  Cowboys Down

  Worlds Apart

  Every Move He Makes

  With or Without Him

  Taking Stock

  Give Yourself Away

  Fall and Break

  Falling

  Breaking

  Don’t miss these other titles by Barbara Elsborg

  Falling is easy. Landing without breaking your heart? Impossible

  Fall or Break, Book 1

  Harper is no longer behind bars, but it doesn’t feel like it. Ten years serving time for a sexual assault he didn’t commit have left him shut down, numb, and a frozen wreck over the simplest of choices.

  He’s acutely aware of the dark-haired young man checking him out in the supermarket, but he’s too deep in panic mode to even meet the guy’s gaze. Afraid the slightest move will trigger a fall that will never stop.

  Fresh off a long-term relationship with a controlling man, Malachi is stuck living with relatives who think he’s a waste of oxygen. The tall guy in the long, gray coat is the first bright spot he’s glimpsed in a long time...though the man’s unblinking stare at a bottle of shower gel is a touch alarming.

  Hard experience tells both of them to turn away before lust turns to hopeless attraction, and inevitably to disaster. But once their sparks connect, the arc of electricity is too strong to deny. Even if the cost is too much to bear.

  Warning: Contains an ex-con with disaster written all over him, a boy toy who’s trouble with a capital T, a damp old British house, compulsive meddling, and enough hot sex to cure the severe case of nervous babbling.

  Keeping secrets is easy. Until love tempts him to break his cover.

  Fall or Break, Book 2

  Archer Hart, former SIS assassin, has just completed a freelance hit job when he finds himself in a sniper’s scope. The bullet whizzing past his ear is a clear message: someone wants him dead. Retirement will have to wait, as his only choice is to assume a new identity—and keep running.

  Conrad Black is a broken man. The injured barrister has come to the beach to recover from a hit-and-run “accident”, with plenty of time to wonder who might be wishing he’d been left dead instead of partially paralyzed. When he spots a surfer in trouble, he throws his crutches aside to pull the man to safety.

  One glance at Archer takes Conrad’s breath away. And Archer finds himself envying the hands Conrad is using to pet his dog. But as the net tightens, both men can feel the targets on their backs heating up. The only thing that will save them is the truth...before death snatches away their one chance at love.

  Warning: Contains a mercenary who’s broken the law beyond all recognition, and an uptight barrister who is the law. Also: a whole lot of crossing lines drawn in the sand, and even more tussling to determine who gets on top.

  Her last days on Earth could be out of this world.

  Zoe has accepted that a brain tumor will make this Christmas her last. She plans to spend it in the Caribbean, hoping some gorgeous guy will scoop her off the beach for a passionate affair, a one-night stand—anything just to be held and wanted.

  When she discovers—horror of horrors—she has no unread books for the plane trip, she heads out for an early-hours run to good old 24/7 Supa-Mart.

  Rowe’s and Kai’s lives are so regulated by their home planet’s equivalent of Big Brother they even have to hide their thoughts. Not easy when a secret attraction exists between them. When they’re chosen for an off-world reality show involving unsuspecting humans, they jump at this no-rules chance to open their hearts.

  When the giant store’s exits clang shut, trapping Zoe and several others inside—including two impossibly sexy guys—Zoe figures she won’t need a beach for a no-strings romance. But it doesn’t take long for her to realize she could be facing the end of her short future sooner than she expected.

  Warning: This book contains two hot aliens with “interesting anatomy”, one lucky human heroine, zero-gravity ménage sex, male-male tongue worship, and all the toys one super store can provide.

  eBooks are not transferable.

  They cannot be sold, shared or given away as it is an infringement on the copyright of this work.

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  Samhain Publishing, Ltd.

  11821 Mason Montgomery Road Suite 4B

  Cincinnati OH 45249

  Give Yourself Away

  Copyright © 2016 by Barbara Elsborg

  ISBN: 978-1-61923-258-7

  Edited by Christa Soule

  Cover by Kanaxa

  All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  First Samhain Publishing, Ltd. electronic publication: February 2016

  www.samhainpublishing.com