Unspoken Promises

by Gabbie S. Duran

  Confused, I ask, “What do you mean?”

  “There are ten shows left and our next stop is New York for the next two weeks to prepare for fashion week, and the remainder of it in Parii,” she replies, accenting Paris in a French accent.

  I can’t help but grow excited from the offer, but my heart plunges into the pit of my stomach when I think of Matt.

  “Can I give you an answer in a couple of days?” I hesitantly ask.

  She goes silent for a couple of seconds, but quickly responds. “Unfortunately I need an answer now. This is a very good opportunity for your career, Ms. Adams,” she suggests.

  I’m frightful I’d be turning away an important opportunity. “I accept,” I announce, feeling my heart sink lower in the pit of my stomach.

  “Good,” she happily replies. “Let me know where I need to send you the details,” she says, before we’re soon exchanging information and end the call.

  With a smile on my face I stare down at my phone, confident I’ve made the right decision and my earlier excitement has once again returned.

  The offer still feels surreal, but I knew I couldn’t pass it up. Dreadfully, it means I have to be separated from Matt the entire time. It was only temporary, but the fear of distance is worrying me. I had to keep telling myself that our love is strong enough to endure these minor obstacles. I have to believe deep down in my heart it would make our love stronger.

  Closing my eyes, I pray the decision I made will not tear Matt and I apart. I do love him, with all of my heart, but I need to do this for myself. I know deep down inside it’s for the best. I just hope Matt will understand.

  THE NEXT MORNING we awaken to the ringing of Matt’s phone. I listen, still half asleep, to the rumbling of his voice below my ear against his chest. Most of his words are full of excitement, but it isn’t until we’re eating breakfast in bed that it occurs to me to ask who was on the other end of the line.

  “It’s a surprise,” he states with a smile. I climb onto his lap so I can straddle him. “Is there anything I can bribe you with so you can tell me anyways?” I say, teasing him as I rub myself against his body.

  I can feel him harden a bit between my legs. “As much as I’m tempted to take you up your offer, we really need to leave or else their will no longer be a surprise.”

  Now I really want to know and I’m sure from the glowering expression on my face Matt can tell as he chuckles back at me. “Okay, you win. That was an NFL scout who came to one of my games. He’s interested in talking to me about the upcoming NFL combine. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to get my hopes up until I spoke to him,” he announces.

  I’m left in utter shock from his words as I remember Matt telling me once how important the NFL combine was to a college athlete. It was every college player’s dreams to be considered. Screaming, I say, “Oh. My. God. Matt!”

  “Let’s not get our hopes up, yet. I still have to talk to the guy to see what he’s even offering.”

  “Then we need to hurry up and get back to Portland,” I say excitedly as I climb off of him and drag him to the bathroom so we can shower.

  I should have pushed myself to tell Matt about my plans before arriving in Portland, but I didn’t want to return with the same blackened cloud we had left with. Instead, I keep a forced smile on my face, giving him the impression everything was back to normal. I’d approach the subject after his meeting with the recruiter. Until then, I wanted to savor the moments of happiness with Matt.

  The entire plane ride back to Portland I was mentally preparing my speech in my head, carefully choosing which words I would use when I told him. Another dilemma on my hands was whether or not Julio would be joining me on my trip. I was going to need him at my side. But was he willing to pack up everything and go with me?

  My thoughts are brought back as Matt squeezes my hand; my eyes find his as I give him a smile. Deep down inside I’m apprehensive of how Matt is going to react, but I’ll soon find out as I plan on telling him before the weekend is over. The closer we get to the house, the more I prepare myself for what is yet to come.

  Pulling up to the driveway, we see a Chevy Malibu with a plastic frame surrounding the license plate—indicating it’s a rental car. My heart is excitingly beating for Matt as he parks next to it. Climbing out of the car, he waits for me to reach his side before I hear him say, “Here goes nothing.”

  Pulling him to a stop so I can look at him to say, “He wouldn’t be in there unless you were worth it. You have nothing to worry about,” I say before pulling him in for a reassuring kiss.

  “I’m hope so,” he replies, making me shove him towards the house for ignoring my words.

  I look back to Julio, remembering I wanted to speak to him as well. “Can you come in for a moment? There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” I relay.

  Matt looks back at me confused, but I ignore him as I continue ushering him to keep walking. As we step inside, Trey is sitting on the couch with another gentleman, but upon seeing us walk in, he stands to shout, “It’s about time you got home!” looking straight at Matt.

  The gentleman stands, already heading over to us, his hand extended to greet Matt. “Hello, Matthew. My name is Eddie. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you as well,” Matt says as he shakes Eddie’s hand.

  Everyone, except for Julio who stands near the kitchen area, heads over to the living room to take a seat. The recruiter goes straight into a conversation with Matt. “I’ve been watching you for the last two years and you’ve shown some great improvement.”

  “Thank you,” Matt shyly replies.

  Behind Eddie is an excited Trey pumping his fist into the air. “Unfortunately, I have to make this meeting quick since I have to catch a plane soon. I arrived yesterday and barely missed you after you left.”

  “Sorry about that. My girlfriend had a fashion show in L.A. I didn’t want to miss,” Matt replies, proudly looking at me.

  The recruiter’s eyes find mine. “Yes, you’re a lucky man to be dating this beautiful lady,” he says with a smile. “As I mentioned, I’m here to invite you to this year’s scouting combine to see what you’ve got. It’d be there that we determine if you have potential to be drafted this year or not,” he explains.

  I expect for Matt’s jaw to drop, but instead he looks skeptical. “Are you sure they really want me?” he reluctantly asks. “I mean, let’s be honest. I know I’ve been sucking this year. There has to be much better players out there you’d like to focus on.”

  My eyes go wide from his response before I hear the recruiter snicker. “I like you already, Matt. You’re right, you haven’t been playing so well these last couple of games. To be honest I shouldn’t be here by the way you played your last game in San Francisco,” the words a reminder of his poor performance. “But I’ve been watching you since last year and I know there must have been a cause for your distraction during that game. It happens to every player, but I know deep down inside you have potential, which is why I’m giving you a chance. It’s up to you to prove whether you’re willing to step up and show us what you’ve got,” he states before standing up. “So what do you say? Will I be seeing you there?” he asks with a curiously raised brow.

  “Of course,” Matt answers.

  “Good,” Eddie says before looking down at his watch. “I look forward to seeing you on the field. Good luck,” he says before shaking Matt’s hand again.

  “Thank you,” Matt replies.

  Pulling out a set of half folded papers from his coat jacket, he hands them to Matt. “This is all the information you’ll need and my contact information. Shoot me an email so I can set everything up to get you there. Once again, good luck,” he finishes saying before rushing to the door.

  It’s obvious he was in a hurry by how fast he was rushing out the door, but at the same time I’m thankful he waited. Excited, I look over to Matt who seems shocked as he looks over the paperwork in his hands. I wat
ch as his eyes quickly scan the words before looking back up to me with a beaming smile. “I can’t believe this,” he voices.

  “I’m not surprised,” I express to him. Behind him Trey is already pounding him on his shoulder to congratulate him. Commencing a round of congratulations from both Julio and I, he’s soon calling David to tell him the news. With the excitement still in the room, a dreadful frown spreads across his face.

  “It still doesn’t mean anything. I may not be good enough for them,” he claims. Giving him a shove, Trey shouts, “Shut the fuck up. You know you’re good!”

  As if doubtful, he goes back to reading the paperwork again. His head snaps up, his eyes bright. “It starts the week after next,” he states, my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach and the blood draining from my face. His frown deepens as he asks. “You’re coming with me, right?”

  His question has rendered me speechless. “What’s wrong, Abigail?”

  Forcing myself to find my voice, I tell him, “I can’t.” I practically whisper as the words break from my mouth.

  “What do you mean, you can’t?”

  I can feel the agony of my admission building as I say the words. “I’ll be in New York, Matt,” I dreadfully tell him. “I got offered a contract by the designer for the show I just did. She wants me to be her star model for the rest of the tour,” I explain, my breath hitching with the words. I stand there frozen, watching him grow confused.

  “When did this happen? How long have you known?

  Swallowing the lump in my throat, I answer, “Since yesterday.”

  “And you didn’t tell me?”

  I nod my head as it falls forward to stare at the floor.

  “What else are you keeping from me, Abigail? Because for some reason that’s all you’ve been doing lately, is keeping secrets from me,” he growls out.

  “It wasn’t a secret, Matt, I just didn’t want to tell you until the time was right,” I throw at him.

  His eyes are narrowed down at me. “And when would that have been? When you were getting on the plane like you tried to do this last time?” he delivers, his words hitting me like a ton of bricks. His eyes grow dark in anger as he continues. “I don’t even know who you are anymore, Abigail,” he snarls before stepping around me and heading straight out the door, slamming it behind him, making my entire body flinch. I’m standing there shocked as I try to comprehend everything that just happened.

  I look over to Julio who is standing there looking sympathetic. “It’s for two months. Are you willing to come with me?” I sternly ask him, as I try to mask the pain coursing inside of me.

  He expression turns serious again as he answers, “Of course.”

  “Good, we leave for New York on Thursday night,” I clip out as I make my way to the room so I can cry my misery away in my own solitary world.

  AS I’M DRIVING around Portland, I cannot help but remember one of the most important memories Emily left with me…

  I’m looking around my empty room recalling my most favorite memories: the first time I slept alone in the room, no longer fearful of being alone after my parents died, the first time I slept with Laura in my bed, and most recently, getting ready for my high school graduation. It was the day I realized I’d grown up. I was no longer a kid who would have his sister at his side to guide him every step of the way.

  The creak of my bedroom door startles me back to the reality of the moment and I turn to see Emily slowly walking in. “Sam has everything you asked us to take in the car. You ready to go?” she cautiously asks, as if feeling my dread to leave. I have no choice but to nod my head. Stepping up to my side, she wraps her arms around my waist and lays her head against my chest, allowing me to rest my chin upon her head. “I can’t believe you’re leaving for college.”

  “Anxious to get rid of me?” I tease.

  She doesn’t immediately respond, but instead sighs, which tells me she’s containing her emotions. It’s typical of Emily as she always tries to demonstrate how confident she is. “I’ll miss you,” I sadly tell her, feeling the tears building in my throat. Pulling herself away to look up at me, she has a smile on her face.

  “I hate knowing I have to leave you,” I declare.

  “Just because we say goodbye today, it doesn’t mean forever. It won’t be long before we see each other again,” she states. “The days apart may seem like forever, but with every day that goes by, it’s one day closer to seeing each other again. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, which means when we do come back to each other, our love will be stronger because we’ll have learned to appreciate one another,” she finishes saying.

  I take in her words, but I don’t want to fully grasp them. Instead I pull her to me and hold her tightly. “If you say so,” I reply.

  I feel her laugh against my chest. “I know so,” she announces.

  My mind is brought back to reality when I hear the honk of a horn behind me, notifying me the light has turned green. With a heavy sigh, I drive off remembering Emily and realizing how wise her words were that day I left for college. I might have dreaded leaving that day, but she was right. With time our love grew stronger, as will the love between Abigail and me. At least I have to believe it will.

  IT’S BEEN THREE days now since Abigail and I came home from Los Angeles. We’ve been casually dancing around each other since then. We haven’t acted this way towards one another since before we started dating and I hate it. It’s a tragic reminder of the first obstacle in our relationship; although back then we weren’t technically dating, but even then, my heart had already belonged to her.

  As much as I hated her keeping her news from me, deep down inside I was still proud of the fact that she landed it. I was just too pissed at the time to admit it. Instead of congratulating her as she had done with me minutes before, I was throwing a most recent mistake in her face, and now the consequences of both our actions has been following us around like a darkened cloud.

  It took the drive around Portland taking in all the sites and places I’d taken Abigail for me to realize she was right. I’ve been acting like the controlling asshole she so proudly left and I was regretfully trying to do it with her career. My only excuse for my actions is the need to protect her, but I was also afraid of losing her again. I knew I was wrong the moment I realized it and since then I’ve been doing whatever possible to portray my happiness for her, but deep down inside I was fighting the urge to tell her she couldn’t leave, and I think she knows it. We’re both miserable and it shows as we barely made small talk when we were together. To make matters worse, I had a shit load of studying to do for semi-finals this week, which limited the time we had for actual conversations. Instead she would lie at my side as I studied and helped me by quizzing me, but she never complained, and neither did I.

  As I arrive home from class, I see her in the kitchen near the stove concentrating on the task in front of her. Taking in all the items spread across the counter, my lips go into the widest smile they have worn for days. She’s cooking me my favorite meal. I can tell by how focused she still is that she hasn’t heard me walk in and by the bobbing of her head I know she’s listening to music. It allows me to walk over to her so I can step up behind her to wrap my arms around her waist. At first she’s startled when she turns to see me, but soon she’s greeting me with a smile and a kiss on the lips.

  She pulls her earphones out of her ears, allowing me to say, “Thank you,” I whisper into to her ear, feeling her shudder. Turning her body to better face me, she chuckles. “I wouldn’t be thanking me yet. I don’t know if I’m going to give us food poisoning,” she mocks me with words I usually tease her with.

  I throw my head back to laugh before I kiss her again. “Even if you did, I wouldn’t care,” I tell her. “Do you want some help?” I ask, looking at the half assembled enchilada casserole in front of her.

  “Please.”

  Quickly washing my hands, I help her finish. The entire time I make sure to stay as close as possible
to her and it isn’t long before we’re eating. I keep her near me by having her sit on my lap. It’s another reminder of a most recent event, but this time I push the memory aside and focus on keeping her close.

  “What do you want to do tonight? Is there anywhere special you want to go?” I eagerly ask once we’re done eating, wishing to make tonight memorable. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she hesitantly looks at me. “I want to go for a run with you,” she declares.

  Looking outside, I can see the sun already setting. “It’s getting dark, beautiful, and I think it’s too soon for you to be running,” I remind her, but even I can catch the controlling tone I put into the words.

  “It’s a full moon tonight and we don’t have to run at our normal pace. We can jog,” she argues. “Please, Matt? I just want to go on a run with you before I leave,” she pleads.

  Wanting to make her happy plus the thought of running with her persuades my decision as I nod in agreement before I place a kiss on her neck. She’s practically jumping from my lap as she drags me along with her to the room to change. Thirty minutes later, we’re at the only flat trail I know of that will allow the full moon to illuminate our path.

  “Remember to keep your pace slow and if at any time your ankle is bothering you, tell me. I don’t want you injuring it again,” I order, earning me a short nod.

  Without waiting another second, she’s already taking off, leaving me to follow. Both lost in our thoughts, we run in silence the entire time. My mind returns to the first time I ever ran with Abigail, the first race we ran together, but most of all, the first time she told me she loved me. Before I know it, we’re back to our original destination and I’m saddened we’re walking back to her car. Somehow, I can feel deep down inside it will be a while before we’ll be running together again, so I better make this one memorable.