You Belong to Me

by Jennifer Greene

  “Uh, what?”

  “I think kissing is gross. You like doing it, fine. But I’m never doing it with a girl, no way.”

  “You might change your mind,” Serena suggested.

  “I’m never changing my mind.” He motioned emphatically, shaking drips of turquoise ice cream all over the tabletop. “I’m telling you, all girls have issues. And do you know what their main issue is?”

  She stifled a laugh. “No, Nate, I have no idea. But you sure learned a lot in first grade today.”

  “I did,” he agreed. “Elizabeth was the one who ‘splained about the issues. Anyway, they’re not boys. That’s what their main issue is. That they’re stuck being girls. Except for you, Mom. You’re okay.”

  “I’m relieved that you think so,” Serena said dryly. “So you got all this from this girl named Elizabeth, huh?”

  “Some of it. But some of it— Do you know Gloria Rivertree?”

  “No, hon.”

  “Well, she’s in my class.” Nate referred to this as if he’d been in school for years. “Her mom and dad split up awhile ago. Then her mom had some guys over. They were kissing all the time. Gloria thought she and her sister were going to get a new dad, but you’d have to know her. She’s pretty dumb, Mom. Even I know you don’t get a dad because of kissing. There’s other stuff that matters.”

  Serena carefully picked her jaw up off the floor. “Oh? What do you think that other stuff is?”

  “Well, like, dads have to have jobs. And I think they have to have some money, too. Don’t ask me any more questions, okay? I’ve been thinking all day. I need a rest from thinking now. Did I tell you that I got to erase the blackboard?”

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “It’s because I could read. You get to do a lot more things in life if you can read.”

  On the drive home, Serena wished Blake could have heard the whole conversation. Her heart kept charging the same spark plug: he belonged here. With her. With his son. With the three of them free to be the family they really were.

  Yet her mood had turned sober by the time they pulled into the drive and Whiskey and the cats bounded out with lonesome barks and purrs to greet them. Once Nate started asking questions, Serena had always known that she and Blake would have to make some immediate decisions. She’d wanted the two to get to know each other before springing the news on Nate about Blake’s real relationship to him. But that was never supposed to be forever. They’d spent time together now. It was past time she came clean with her son.

  Only she’d spent the same time falling so hard in love with Blake again that she wasn’t sure she could recover this time if he didn’t return her feelings.

  He cared about her, she knew. And he’d used that precious “love” word last night. But whether his feelings for her were still driven primarily by responsibility, Serena still felt unsure. Suddenly she felt the pressure of a knife pressing against her heart.

  No affair between them could last long. She was unwilling to sleep with a man she wasn’t married to, not with a son as aware and bright as Nate was. She loved Blake. She’d willingly made love with him, and she’d started out willingly risking all she was in the hope they might build something together. What other choice was there? You had to be willing to risk it all to have anything worthwhile.

  Only Serena couldn’t stop thinking that time was not just running out on the two of them. It had run out. Nate had started asking questions. She and Blake needed to decide, immediately, what they wanted to do together—for him, and for them.

  Serena was a willing risk taker. Always had been, always would be. Only the stakes in this particular heart game were losing Blake. Forever, this time.

  Ten

  Blake stood in the center of his living room, a rag hanging from his hand.

  Serena was coming over in a few minutes. She’d called, saying that she really needed to talk with him. Rather than work himself into an ulcer of worry, he figured he should do something industrious until she got here, like dust.

  Only a little belatedly he recognized that there was nothing to dust. Even after all these weeks, there was nothing in the place but some patchy rental furniture. Hell. He had the money to make the place into something. He just hadn’t put up a picture or added anything personal because he hadn’t given a damn. Also, when he’d first come back to Whitehorn, he’d had no idea how long he was going to stay.

  Still didn’t.

  The difference between spring and now, though, was that, for the first time in his life, Blake knew where he wanted his home to be. What he didn’t know was whether Serena wanted him in her life.

  At the sound of a knock on his back door, he jumped as if a dragon had stepped on his shadow. “Come on in!” Swiftly he flicked the rag over the only lampshade in the room—maybe that made it look cleaner?—and then hurriedly pushed the dust rag under a couch cushion and jogged toward the kitchen door.

  His heart deflated instantly. He’d just assumed it was Serena. But instead of the woman who was causing him a regular heart attack, a man stepped inside. Blake had to scrape his brain before the name would come to him. Adam. Adam Benson.

  “Blake. I only have a minute, and if you’re busy, I can disappear again. I happened to be in town for dinner and it started to bother me that the two of us hadn’t spent more than five seconds together since the Kincaid picnic.”

  “Adam, I’m glad you stopped.” Blake shot out a hand, musing that remembering his own half brother’s name should hardly be such a big deal. But, of course, all of Larry Kincaid’s bastards were in the same boat, and hadn’t known each other existed until a few months ago. “I am expecting company, a friend, but come on in and sit down for a while. Let me get you a drink. You have a favorite poison?”

  “Nothing alcoholic, although I wouldn’t mind coffee if you had some around. I still have a long drive ahead. And truthfully, I cut out of the Hip Hop Café before I’d had dessert or coffee because the place was so crazy tonight.”

  “Yeah?” Blake started some cappuccino brewing—enough in case Serena wanted some, too—and then motioned Adam into the living room. He really didn’t want Adam to stay or to get too comfortable. All he wanted was time alone with the woman who was slowly but surely driving him insane. Yet Adam was one of his new family members for whom he’d felt a compatibility from their first meeting.

  They looked alike, for one thing. Adam stretched out his long legs, his height and jet-black hair similar to Blake’s. The gray eyes were different, and there was harshness engrained in Adam’s expression. Yet the man had a toughness of character that Blake admired, and a loneliness he exuded that Blake instinctively related to.

  Initially Adam had hardly come across as friendly, he seemed withdrawn when they first met, as if he wanted nothing to do with the Kincaids. Perhaps he sensed that Blake felt the same wariness, because the two men had seemed to find themselves standing together more than once, testing out a conversation, checking out each other’s character.

  Blake was unsure that anyone would call their relationship a friendship yet, but Adam had taken to occasionally stopping by. They’d both shared information about their backgrounds.

  Adam was thirty-seven, five years older than Blake, and also the first of Larry Kincaid’s bastards. When Larry had seduced Adam’s mom, she’d been an innocent teenager, in no position to support a child. She’d turned to her older sister for help, and it was that aunt and uncle who’d raised Adam, even though it was tough supporting him on a domestic and a ranch hand’s wages. Adam grew up feeling loved in a way that Blake had never felt, but the two men still shared strong common ground. They both knew what it was to have mothers who’d made desperate decisions to cope with an unexpected pregnancy—and what having an irresponsible creep for a blood father had done to their lives.

  Blake remembered Adam’s story, but his mind was so much on Serena’s coming visit that he wasn’t really listening to Adam’s conversation. Something was obviously troubling him. He w
as talking about one of the local families, the Rutherfords, with fire in his eyes and ice in his voice.

  Blake tried to catch up without letting on he’d lost the conversational thread. “I remember you saying something about Victoria Rutherford before. She was your first love in high school, right?”

  “Until she threw me over. But it was her dad who fired my uncle Dan—Dan Benson—and like I told you, Dan was the only dad I ever knew and ranch work was all Dan ever knew how to do. I’ll tell you I don’t like holding a grudge, but I have no use for the Rutherfords. The financial trouble they’ve got on their ranch right now feels like revenge. What I found out when I was having dinner…”

  When Blake heard another knock, he immediately bolted to his feet. Truthfully, he was confused why Adam was telling him all this stuff about the Rutherford family. It wasn’t as if Blake knew them himself. But he tried to snap more alert when Adam started talking about revenge. Maybe the two men didn’t know each other well enough to be close, but Blake had never seen revenge work out.

  This just wasn’t a time he could possibly talk to Adam, though, and once he opened the door, any prayer he had of concentrating disappeared like smoke.

  His lover’s face was waiting for him with one of those smiles that was just for him. Her hair was brushed smooth, let loose for once, and shimmered down her back in a long raven fall. Her brown eyes were a pure liquid topaz and her clothes nothing fancy—they never were—but the loose linen tunic and slacks modestly draped her lush breasts and rounded hips. Modest had always seemed to be her nature, yet the way she moved toward him was as dangerous and sensual as a wicked temptress. Or maybe he thought that because he seemed to hopelessly respond to her that way.

  “Hi,” she murmured, her lips already tilting.

  His were already dipping down. The hello kiss invoked more hopeless, helpless cataclysmic feelings in him. He could have stopped breathing before stopping himself from touching her, no matter how much was unresolved between them. But she realized swiftly that they weren’t alone when Adam cleared his throat.

  Within a few minutes she was introduced to Adam and was curled up in the dove-gray chair, nursing a cappuccino. She never gave any hint that she wasn’t just dropping by to see a casual friend, much less that she wasn’t completely comfortable with Adam’s unexpected presence.

  “Adam just stopped by for a few minutes after having dinner at the Hip Hop Café,” Blake explained.

  “Best place for gossip in the state,” Serena said dryly.

  Hoping to establish some common ground between Adam and Serena, Blake added, “I understand one of the things being talked about tonight was something about the Rutherfords.”

  “The Rutherfords?” Serena turned directly to Adam. “I went to college at the same time as Victoria. We’ve been good friends for years.”

  Adam flashed a sharp, meaningful glance at Blake, as if asking him not to say anything further about their previous conversation. Blake hesitated, feeling confused, unable to understand why Adam wouldn’t want to pursue the subject of the Rutherfords with Serena. She was the one person who could probably give him direct information, since she knew the family. She might even be able to clear up whatever Adam’s problem was with them.

  Still, there was no chance for Blake to pursue anything further about the Rutherfords, because Adam promptly went on a humorous venting binge about being unable to eat at the Hip Hop without a dose of gossip and sensationalism. “And I’ll tell you, the place was really buzzing tonight. All about that Christina Montgomery disappearance.”

  “Oh! I haven’t heard anything in days. Did they finally find her?” Serena asked.

  “No. That’s the whole problem. The cops are involved in the search now. And the mayor being her dad, naturally Ellis is raising hell. I gather her older sister—Rachel, is it?—just flew in from Chicago.”

  “I used to know Rachel, but I haven’t seen her in years now,” Serena said thoughtfully. “Once she left for college, she almost made a point of not coming home. I always had the feeling that she didn’t get along with her dad any more than Christina did.”

  “I don’t know. I just know that she’s back now, specifically because she’s determined to find out where Christina is, come hell or high water. As far as I can tell, there’s no particular reason to assume anything bad happened to the girl. She could have just run away.”

  Serena nodded. “She wasn’t happy at home, that’s for sure. Not since her mom died.”

  “Yeah, well. That’s what folks were saying at the Hip Hop. Everyone was speculating about what man she was involved with, only then this woman came into the restaurant. Winona Cobbs. Do you know her?”

  “You can’t live in Whitehorn without knowing Winona,” Serena said with a chuckle. “Even if every woman in town didn’t occasionally sucker into her Stop-n-Swap store, Winona’s our town psychic.”

  Adam and Blake both stared at her, then each other. “How do women know this stuff?” And then Adam added, “Believe me, she was dressed the part. Long, goofy dress, beads and crystals hanging all over the place. Anyway, she comes into the restaurant, touches the scarf that I guess belonged to the missing girl, and immediately claims that she can ‘hear’ Christina screaming in pain. Like anyone’s going to believe this?”

  “Somehow I suspect that everyone in the Hip Hop believed it,” Serena said.

  “They did.” Adam threw up his hands. “And that got everyone in the Hip Hop buzzing double-time. They figured if she was in pain, then maybe she was in labor—because the whole town had figured out that she was pregnant, even if her daddy kept denying it. Maybe she was growing a watermelon in her stomach, who knows? Whatever, not like the woman is any of my business.” He stood, looked at both of them. “Serena, it was wonderful to meet you. But you should have kicked me out before this. I’ve shot enough bull, really just wanted to say hello to Blake, see how he was doing. Now, though, I’ll get out of both your hair.”

  He was gone faster than two shakes of a lamb’s tail. When Blake came back from the door, Serena was taking a last sip of cappuccino and studying his face over the cup rim. “Are all of your new Kincaid brothers like that?”

  “Well, everyone isn’t in town. But it’s pretty interesting, how easily we all started talking together. Even if we never realized that we were related before, it seems we all had similar experiences growing up. Or, let’s say, we all developed similar ideas about responsibility from having such an irresponsible father. So it made it easier to feel a kinship from the beginning.”

  She nodded. “Adam seems nice. Maybe the exterior is a little austere? But it was obvious he was trying to be warm and friendly, and besides that, there’s just something in the eyes that says ‘good man.’” Without waiting for him to comment, she suddenly switched subjects. “That’s what you were talking about the other night, wasn’t it?”

  “Beg your pardon?”

  “The story you told me about the man who showed up in the middle of the night, asking you for help and to keep quiet about his coming to you. The problem was about Christina, wasn’t it? And her baby. It all started to click in my mind when Adam mentioned the newest gossip in town.”

  Blake hesitated.

  “It’s okay, Blake. You don’t have to answer. I know you gave your word and I’m really not asking for the particulars.” She stood. “I just wanted to say, try to trust your own judgment, okay? God knows, I trust you. Forget the law. Forget what anyone else would think or say. Just let your heart talk to you, just this once.”

  Her perception startled him, though it shouldn’t have. Her intuitiveness had always seen straight into his soul. “Yeah, well, my heart told me that the man involved was a good father. But all the evidence—everything I knew about the facts—led me to think there was something seriously wrong and I should be more suspicious.” Just as his circumstances with her, Blake had long realized. No matter how much he wanted to be with her and Nate, he’d been afraid that his heart was creating exc
uses to do something that he wanted, instead of being sure it was right for her.

  She carted her empty mug into the kitchen, then came out, but only as far as the doorway. “How many times have you heard the facts on the news that didn’t turn out to be the real story? Facts don’t always lead you to the truth. Just once I wish you’d try listening to your heart and believing what you feel.”

  She was trying to tell him something meaningful, Blake understood, because he saw the woman’s look and he saw her eyes. Something really mattered to her. Something she was trying to tell him. But he just couldn’t be one of those modern guys who spilled out feelings like a flushed-open water faucet. He’d come from two fathers who’d managed to tear up his life by making uncaring, irresponsible choices instead of honorable ones. He didn’t want to be like them and he didn’t want any more mistakes. Not with her. “You’re hovering by the door,” he said uneasily.

  “Yeah. Nate’s over at his uncle Wolf’s but not for overnight. I can’t stay more than a few more minutes. There was just something I wanted to tell you in private.” She offered him a smile then, softer than sunshine. “Nate started asking questions about you. Personal questions, about you and me. I could hold him off if I had to…but really, don’t you think it’s time to tell him you’re his dad? Would you like to do it together?”

  Blake sank to the edge of the armchair, feeling as if the oomph had been knocked out of him. “Serena…” God, he’d been waiting for this, hoping for this. “You know I wasn’t going to bring it up unless you volunteered that telling him was the right thing to do.”

  “Well, I think it is the right thing. In fact, I think waiting longer would be a mistake. He’s noticed how often you’re around. He’s accepted you. And that’s why we were waiting, wasn’t it? To help him feel comfortable with you, so you weren’t a stranger?”

  “That was part of it. But not all.” He gestured. “Serena, I wanted to earn a place in his life. So he never felt like he had to accept me just because of having a blood relationship.”