Russian Roulette (Helena Hawthorn Series Book 1)

by May Freighter

  As Richard settled the bottle on the lacquered surface, his shoulders slumped. The small cork got stuck halfway in the bottle’s neck, unwilling to move in either direction.

  “We haven’t had champagne in a while,” Helena said.

  “You’re right. I think Sasha bought one for the occasion.”

  When he left the room, her mother reappeared, and two brown eyes zeroed in on Helena. Her fingers raked through her short, platinum hair, as she commenced the emotional bombardment. “Are you sure about moving out? You can stay with us until you finish studying or—”

  Helena crossed her arms. “Mum, we had this discussion last week.”

  “Yes, we did.”

  She wanted to kick herself—upsetting her mother was not something she enjoyed. It would be easier for her to travel to and from college if she moved in with her friends. She glanced at the kitchen door. Richard was taking longer than he should have. So, she tapped her foot to try to melt the silence growing between them.

  Her mother’s transitory act of sadness disappeared, and she squared her shoulders, disapproval remained etched into the frown lines on her face.

  “I know you’re worried, Mum, but I’ll be with Laura and Andrew.”

  Sasha relaxed her stance and hugged her daughter. “You are my only child. I can’t help worrying.”

  Helena patted her back, unsure of what to say or do next. Thankfully, the heavens answered with a loud pop coming from the kitchen and a faint clinking of glasses.

  Richard strolled into the room with a grin, revealing his pearly teeth as he held up an opened bottle of champagne and three champagne flutes. “I take it you two are doing well?”

  “We’re fine,” her mother replied. She pulled away from Helena, folded her apron over the back of her chair, and took her seat.

  Following Sasha’s example, Helena sat next to her mother.

  Richard poured each of them a drink and joined them at the table. The instant he took a sip from his glass, he cringed.

  Helena glanced at her thighs to hide her snort. She loved her step-father. Even though he was busy as the Head of the Science Department, he remained a family man. He never complained and took care of her and her mother after her real father vanished from their lives without so much as an explanation.

  “Did you finish your registration?” Richard asked.

  Helena raised her head. “Yeah, the second I got accepted.”

  “I’m concerned by your choice. Becoming a doctor or a lawyer would pay better than a—” Her mother waved her hand in the air, searching for the right word. “I don’t even know what you can call your degree.”

  Helena looked away. Her mother’s stony eyes held enough disappointment to drown an army. The silence continued to spread, and Helena clutched the cutlery. The metal warmed in her palms. “If I get bored, I will choose something else.”

  “Bored?” Sasha’s voice rose.

  Finished with the conversation, Helena switched her attention to her food.

  Richard cleared his throat. “I heard there’ll be quite a downpour tomorrow. Hope it won’t hinder your move.”

  Her mother gave Helena a fleeting glare as if telling her their conversation wasn’t over and faced her husband. “How bad will it be? I have to meet with the girls.”

  Helena took the distraction as a reprieve and mouthed a “thank you” to Richard who winked in return.

  With dinner out of the way, Helena busied herself stacking the dishes into the dishwasher.

  “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Richard’s deep baritone made her jump.

  She nodded and straightened her back.

  “First and foremost, you are always welcome here…” His eyes scanned the kitchen.

  Helena looked around with him. When she didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, she couldn’t help a smile creeping up. “Um, Richard?”

  “Right, well, the second thing is that we love you. If there’s anything you need, we will be there to listen.” He faltered and spread his arms out, drawing her into an awkward bear hug. His lean body radiated warmth, and her heart swelled. “Call us if something happens or—”

  “I think I got the point,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

  He released her and rubbed the back of his neck. “You should rest. It’s an early start for everyone tomorrow.”

  “I will.”

  Once he left, she sped through putting the remaining dishes away while she analysed Richard’s behaviour. Was he worried about her moving out? He didn’t seem too concerned until now. So, why act like that all of a sudden? She shrugged and pressed the ‘on’ button on the dishwasher.

  When she arrived at the top of the staircase, faint whispers from her mother’s room caused her to halt. She sneaked across the hallway and pressed her back against the wall.

  “…you tell her?” Sasha’s agitated voice came first.

  “I did. You shouldn’t worry so much. She’s doing great,” Richard replied.

  Her mother’s voice rose. “What if something triggers her to remember?”

  “Hush, Sasha. If she hears any of this, she will want to know more. All we can do is keep an eye on her. Restricting her will drive a wedge between you two, and I doubt that’s what you want.”

  Helena clutched at her chest when the conversation ended. She staggered into her bedroom and dragged her feet until she collapsed on the bed. A sigh escaped her as she faced the ceiling. “What are they hiding from me?”

  Michael materialised sitting next to her. He tracked her gaze to the phosphorescent stars that fascinated her in her childhood. “I remember the day your step-father glued them on. He fell off this bed twice.”

  Helena glanced at his broad back. “What are you implying?”

  “Do you recall why he did that?”

  “Richard said it was because I used to have nightmares when I was younger. Nightmares I don’t remember having…”

  “You were a child. Think nothing of it.”

  Helena sat bolt upright. “Are you serious? They’re hiding something from me, something important. I can feel it.”

  Michael shifted, and their eyes met. She loved looking into the azure depths of his eyes. They were like two handpicked jewels. The longer you marvelled at their beauty, the less you wished to argue with the beholder. And, like real precious gems, they held many secrets.

  He withheld a lot of information from her. Something was always missing out of the full picture—a forbidden piece of knowledge his angel bosses coveted. He wouldn’t tell her anything regarding them either.

  “Memory is a fragile thing, especially at a young age.”

  She glowered at him. “I have a good memory, Michael.”

  “Do not look at me with such murderous intentions. I have answered your question.”

  Unable to help herself, she doubted his answer. Her childhood night terrors couldn’t be a plausible explanation why her parents were nervous. But, the real answer eluded her.

  “You’ll get wrinkles if you continue to brood over this.”

  She fell back onto the bed and sighed. “Okay, I’ll let it go, for now.”

  Michael lay next to her without indenting the mattress. His lack of a physical body confused her to this day. “Rest. You have a lot to do tomorrow.”

  Not bothering to change into her pyjamas, she climbed under the covers and asked, “No matter what I choose, will you always support me?”

  “Good night, Helena.”

  She ran a hairbrush through her hair for the second time that morning, and their eyes met in the mirror. At least, Michael refrained from popping in when she was in the shower or on the loo.

  Her eyes narrowed. “What?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “You’ve been staring at me since I woke up. Tell me what the problem is! Is it the hair?”

  The corner of his lips upturned. “You are nervous.”

  Helena whipped around. “Any normal human being would be. It’s a life-changing decisi
on.”

  “What happened to the calm, collected, and analytical persona you like to portray?”

  She folded her arms over her chest. “Anything you want to tell me?”

  “If I had to say something, it would be that Andrew is at the front door.”

  She glared at her guardian angel and rushed downstairs. Tweeting birds filled her ears, and she grunted. The tacky doorbell was her mother’s idea.

  On the last step, she managed to avoid tripping over her feet by a mere millimetre. Between ragged breaths, she swung the door open and grinned at her soon-to-be roommate. “So, how do you want to do this?”

  Andrew’s smile faltered. He tapped his chin with his index finger. “Hum, getting indoors should be my primary task.” He didn’t wait for her response and stepped inside with a single long stride. “And now we move stuff.”

  Helena rolled her eyes. “Very funny. I meant is there any particular way we get my things over to the new place?”

  “Don’t worry, Thorn, all will be revealed in time.”

  She ignored the annoying nickname her friends gave her in school and peered around him. In her driveway, an unfamiliar chalk-white minivan broke the view of the park beyond.

  “Is that yours?” she asked.

  “Dad lent me one of his company cars for a day. He specifically told me not to crash it, so I hope your things won’t weigh down the vehicle.”

  Helena hid her irritation behind a false smile. She signalled for him to accompany her. “Let’s get on with it.”

  “Let’s get on with it, please.”

  Less than amused, she stared at him.

  “Spoilsport.” He ascended the stairs.

  They paused at the bedroom door, and he said, “I bet everything in there is pink and frilly.”

  “The more you talk, the more rubbish comes out of the big hole you call a mouth.”

  He clasped his hand over his chest in a dramatic manner. “You wound me dearly, Thorn.”

  With a shake of her head, Helena pushed past him, opening the door.

  Andrew assessed the room, his expression betraying a touch of disappointment.

  She smirked. “No pinks and no frills.”

  “Baggy clothes, purple hair, and a dull bedroom… How are you still a girl?”

  “Uhuh.”

  Until now, Andrew and Laura had kept the details of their new home a secret. They wanted to surprise her, and that she was. Her eyes widened at the sight of the red-brick apartment block that towered over them. To her, it appeared like a fortress. Perhaps having a castle wasn’t a bad thing, especially when they could look out those oversized windows at the cityscape.

  “This is the place?” she asked.

  Andrew watched her with a hint of amusement. “Do you like it?”

  She held back an urge to bounce on the spot, so she schooled her face into slight disinterest. “Until I see the inside, it’s hard to judge.”

  “Don’t worry, your highness, we chose it with you in mind.”

  She shot him a piercing glare, and he stuck out his tongue. In that moment, she questioned her decision to move in with her two best friends.

  Andrew opened the glass door for her and ushered her inside. This allowed her to assess the simple white lobby. A chubby guard who manned the desk near the lift ignored them as they approached. In case something happened, she didn’t expect him to be of any help.

  “Earth to Thorn.” Andrew’s face appeared a few inches away from hers. The smell of his fresh aftershave filled her nostrils while his forest-green eyes focused on her. “Do you want to check the place out or not?”

  Her cheeks warmed. Desperate to avoid further embarrassment, she marched to the lifts where she mashed the button until the doors slid open, and they entered the metal confinement.

  With a light laugh, he pressed the button on the panel, and they moved.

  On the fifth floor, moss-green carpet and white-walled interior surrounded them. The morning sun spilt into the corridor in the shades of blue. Upon arrival at their apartment, Andrew swiped a key card above the handle.

  Helena set foot in the hallway. Her running shoes squeaked along the polished hardwood flooring. With each step, her eyes widened as she advanced into a spacious living room. Two leather loveseat sofas greeted them with a large LED television on the wall. Photographs of the city landmarks and famous streets littered the walls. She even liked the look of the small ceramic ballerina on top of the coffee table.

  “Just how much is the rent for this place?” Helena asked, eyeing the grand interior. It was impossible to get a spacious apartment in Dublin without forking out a tonne of money.

  “Laura’s dad owns the whole building, and since he loves his daughter dearly…let’s say he gave us the place at an affordable rate.”

  Helena raised a brow, doubting his answer.

  With stealthy steps, Laura emerged behind them and slapped Helena on the shoulders. “Glad you made it. Where’s your stuff?”

  While Helena calmed her pounding heart, Andrew patted Laura on the head, messing with her strawberry-blonde curls.

  Laura Quinn wasn’t tall at five-foot-four, but what she lacked in height she made up for in personality. An argument with her was like fighting naked and alone against a horde of savages. Helena recalled a time when they debated who would win a local singing contest. Her loss turned into an escapade to bleach and dye her hair purple during a sleepover.

  “I thought it would be best to get you in on the action,” Andrew said.

  Laura pouted. “My arms ache from bringing my stuff here since you”—she poked his chest with her index finger—“didn’t bother to help me.”

  Andrew raised his hands in defence. “Hey, I went to collect Thorn. She doesn’t have a car, unlike you. I bet if you wanted help, you’d make the security guard your man-slave.”

  “Very funny, and he’s not my type.”

  Helena rubbed her eyes. These two had too much energy, and it wasn’t even ten in the morning. “I’ll need the key card and the car keys.”

  “Don’t worry, Thorn, I’m not going to abandon you and make you carry your extremely heavy boxes alone,” Andrew said.

  Laura crossed her arms. “Fine, jeez, I’ll help.”

  “Brilliant. The more the merrier.” Helena started for the door, and Laura stepped in her way.

  “Forgot to ask you, how’s job hunting going? Do you want any help?”

  “I’ll manage.”

  “Alright, come to me when you’re stuck. Oh, and I’ll show you upstairs while Andrew goes to get your stuff.” Laura didn’t wait for the reply and half-dragged her up the metal staircase.

  “Hey, who’s going to lend me a hand?” Andrew shouted after them.

  Laura bent over the bannister. “We will join you soon enough. First, I’m going to show Helena her room.”

  “Right and this has nothing to do with you being too lazy to help. So, you’re making her slack off, too?”

  “We’ll be there in a few,” Laura yelled back. She dragged Helena away, pushing her into a room on the left. “What do you think?”

  Helena’s heart almost melted from happiness. Burgundy walls encompassed them in a well-lit bedroom. Pale-blue sheets covered the double bed that sat between two Butternut bedside tables. The furniture wasn’t what she found to be the best feature of the room. From the window, she caught a glimpse of the Irish Sea and let out a soft sigh.

  “I knew you’d appreciate it. I had to fight my inner instinct to give this room to you.”

  “This scenery is amazing, but why?”

  Laura winked. “You can view this as a bribe.”

  Helena knew what was coming next. Laura was scheming something, and this was an intricate attempt to butter her up with a pretend grand gesture of selflessness. She waited until her friend drew in a breath.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, Hel, but what do you think of Andrew?”

  Helena quirked a brow. She expected something regarding hou
sehold chores or helping Laura with her college assignments. This was unexpected.

  “He’s a friend?”

  Laura tapped her foot on the soft black carpet. “I mean as a guy. Do you see him as a member of the opposite sex at least?”

  Helena’s brows drew into a slight frown. “What are you getting at?”

  “Okay.” Laura rolled her shoulders as if preparing for a fight. “It surprised me when he said this. Like, who would have thought, right? And I, as the best pal to both of you, think this might be a good thing. At first, I had some apprehensions on the subject. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”

  Helena’s frown deepened. “Can you speak in concise sentences and a bit slower?”

  “Jesus, Hel, you’re fast when it comes to anything other than romance. Basically, Andrew asked me if you liked him.”

  “Oh…” She hadn’t considered such an option. Andrew couldn’t be interested in her. Sure, he teased her a lot, and called her by her nickname she fought to ignore every time it reached her ears. The idea of dating him seemed as alien to her as enjoying sports. Was there an upside? She heard enough stories about friends falling out after starting a relationship. This bothered her.

  “Alright, I can see you’ve gone into your own little world,” Laura said.

  “I don’t know how to answer you. I mean, I—”

  “Never thought about it.”

  Helena nodded.

  “Well, give it a think. There’s still time. As for us, we best go and help him out with your stuff or he will go into a complainathon.”

  Helena snorted. “I thought that’s what you do.”

  “I will remember that, Thorn. Now, let’s do this.”

  Around eight, instead of waiting for the Chinese takeaway to arrive, Helena went to her room. The splendid evening view from her window went unnoticed as she switched on the bedside table lamp.

  Finally, some peace and quiet, she thought and reached into her suitcase for the journal.

  Helena flicked through its pages, fascinated by the detail of the drawings, until she found the familiar handwriting and launched into reading the Russian text. Engrossed in the material, she missed the loud knocking on her door. When it opened, she slammed the journal shut and swept it under her pillow.