by Andrew Grey
After six months, Kevin came home from work one day complaining of a headache. Dave had gotten him some aspirin and a glass of water. “I’ll kiss it and make it better,” he had said. Dave had kissed Kevin on the forehead and told him to lie down until dinner. When dinner was ready, he’d gone in to wake Kevin, but he was gone. They told him Kevin had died of a massive brain aneurysm, probably a defect he’d had since birth.
Both his own and Kevin’s families had rallied around him, helping him through his grief as they dealt with their own loss. Dave was still invited to family gatherings with Kevin’s family, since his own was a thousand miles away.
John, the senior vice president, was Kevin’s father. He had never shown outward favoritism towards Dave, but he had often offered advice, particularly when it came to office and company politics.
Dave knocked on John’s door.
“Come in.” Dave entered the office, shut the door, and sat in one of the chairs across from the desk. “I think you’ll be pleased.”
“I want to apologize for yesterday. I shouldn’t have gotten upset.”
John nearly laughed. “If you had reacted any other way I would have been disappointed.” Dave looked quizzical, and John continued. “The Alaska office has been a dumping ground for years; that’s why it’s such a mess. But you’re not being dumped there; this is an opportunity for you, a big opportunity.”
“Let’s look at the offer.”
“They really came through; I pressured them big time. They caved and gave me everything I wanted. The company will rent a house and give you big raise, a travel expense account, a generous relocation allowance, and a bonus.”
Dave was surprised. “I guess they really want me to accept this.”
“I really want you to take this. You’re like a son to me, but you need to make a break of it. You still live in the apartment you shared with Kevin, and the apartment hasn’t changed much since Kevin was alive. It’s like a shrine to him. You need to move on.”
“I know. I was thinking that same thing.” Dave reviewed the compensation package and agreed it was extremely generous. He reached across the desk and signed the offer. “I accept.”
“Great. They want you in Anchorage in two weeks. I suggest you wrap things up here this week. I’ve arranged for you to take next week off to pack and get things in order.” John opened his desk drawer and handed Dave two checks. “Here’s your bonus check, and here’s the moving allowance check.”
“Thank you for everything.”
“No, thank you. You’ve done us all a big favor, and it won’t be forgotten. By the way, we’re having a family dinner on Sunday at six.” Even after losing Kevin, Dave was always treated like a member of the family.
Dave spent the rest of the week finishing up his projects or turning them over to other people. By the end of the week, his plate was empty. On Friday, the office threw him a party to say good-bye.
He spent the weekend deciding what he wanted to take with him. He had decided not to move most of the furniture. It was comfortable, but too bulky to move that far. Kevin had loved art, and they’d bought a couple pieces together: a beautiful nineteenth-century landscape and a late nineteenth-century bronze. Dave took these pieces to a professional shipper and had them sent to his attention at the office. He also shipped a few boxes of clothes and other personal items.
In his bedroom, Dave packed a very special box. He’d kept a few of Kevin’s things, among them a sweatshirt and a T-shirt he’d packed in plastic. He opened the bag, inhaling deeply—they still smelled like Kevin. The scent brought tears to his eyes. Over the past two years, his memories of Kevin had become less sharp, more rounded and warm, but the scent brought a vivid picture of his Kevin to his mind. Wiping his eyes, he resealed the plastic and gently placed the bag in the box. Carefully, he packed the pictures and other items, using linens as padding.
Over the next week, he sold most of his furniture, gave unwanted items to Goodwill, gave his notice on the apartment, and finalized his travel arrangements to Anchorage.
Chris needed a car and was happy to buy Dave’s. At the end of the week, Dave was packed and almost ready to go. He was spending his last night in town at Chris’s apartment. Dave packed his suitcases in the trunk of the car. The only thing left in the apartment was an antique chest of drawers that had been Kevin’s. Dave had decided that this was the only large piece of furniture he’d take with him. He just couldn’t part with it.
As Dave wandered through the apartment, he saw the truck from the shipping company pull up to curb. Heading down the stairs, he met the movers and ushered them into the apartment. One of the men handed him the paperwork while the other documented the condition of the dresser for condition purposes.
“Hey, mister, there’s something taped to the bottom of this drawer.” He removed a large manila envelope and handed it to Dave. The two men then hoisted the dresser, carried it down the stairs, loaded it onto the truck, and drove away.
Standing in the empty apartment, Dave held the envelope to his body like a precious gift. Shaking his head, he locked the apartment, turned in the keys, and headed to the car.
Dave drove to Chris’s and knocked on the door. He was greeted with a big hug. “Get in here; I’ve been waiting for you.” He looked at Dave’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“The movers found this when they loaded Kevin’s dresser.” Dave showed Chris the envelope. “It’s from Kevin.” Dave was still clutching the envelope to his chest, unwilling or unable to let go.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Kevin always bought presents for people all year long. Besides, I recognize his handwriting.”
“Well, open it.”
Dave sat on the sofa and did so. Inside was a small, flat-wrapped package. Dave opened the package to reveal a small framed pencil drawing of him and Kevin. The detail was exquisite.
“He must have done this for my birthday.” Dave took a deep breath and actually smiled.
“Dave, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I think I am. I’m finally realizing that it’s time to let go. Tomorrow I’m leaving for new adventures and new experiences. Two years is long enough to grieve.”
Dave went to the car and got his small suitcase, bringing it into the apartment. After packing the picture, he joined Chris in the living room. “Let’s go get some dinner and have some fun.” Dave tossed Chris the keys. “You get to drive; it’s your car now.”
His last night in town was a blast. They had a great dinner, and Chris took him to a dance club where they danced until midnight before crashing back at the apartment. Chris somehow got him to the airport on time the next day.
III
Jim stumbled to his quarters after a long day in the park. Since he’d come home to Alaska, he’d spent part of each summer working as a ranger at Denali National Park. Jim looked forward to the time he got to spend outdoors, educating tourists and nature lovers about the park, its animals, and its geological history. As an added bonus, Jim got to educate park visitors about his own native Alaskan history and culture. But today had been long, very busy, and no matter what he’d done, he couldn’t seem to please anybody. So after turning on the light in his small room, he kicked the door closed and collapsed onto his single bed, looking at the clock. Yes! He had just enough time for a quick nap before dinner, and then he could spend the evening checking on his clients’ accounts.
When Jim had resigned from the investment firm, a number of his clients had been so upset that they actually got together and decided that they didn’t care where Dave lived or who he worked for, they only wanted him to manage their investments. So two years after leaving Los Angeles, Jim still managed a number of large accounts. And while he didn’t need to watch them on a daily basis, he couldn’t just let them go while he was on what he called his “summer working holiday.”
Flopping on his bed, Jim immediately closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. He didn’t even bother drawing the curtains; he’d go
tten so used to the continual daylight this time of year that it wasn’t necessary.
A ringing woke him from a sound sleep. “Yeah….” He was still asleep, answering the phone on reflex.
“Jim, wake up! It’s Carl.”
“Yeah, Carl, what is it?” Jim rubbed his eyes and forced himself to sit up.
“Can you take this evening’s ranger talk? Jillian was supposed to do it, but she’s down with the flu or something.” Jillian always had the flu or something. Jim wondered who the or something was this time.
Jim yawned into the phone and checked the clock. “Sure.” He had an hour to get some dinner and walk to the campground where the talk would be. “No sweat.”
He could hear Carl smile. “Thanks, I owe you one.”
Jim laughed into the phone. “You owe me about twenty, but I’ll let it slide.” He heard Carl laugh as he hung up the phone.
Unlike most of the rangers in the park, Jim wasn’t here for the money; he didn’t need it. He was here to get away from home for a while, relax, and meet people. So while most of the rangers thought the nightly talks were dull and repetitious, he really liked them. Smiling to himself, he got off the bed, checked that his uniform looked presentable, and then headed to dinner.
The staff cafeteria was relatively quiet, which was unusual and welcome. He got his food and sat down to eat alone at a corner table with his laptop. Jim had downloaded his clients’ account information during his nap, so he reviewed it while he ate. Once he’d finished his food, he closed his laptop, checked the clock, and left the cafeteria to drop his laptop off in his room before heading to the evening’s talk.
He could hear the conversation of the assembled group as he made his way down the path to the outdoor seating area.
“Good evening, and welcome to this evening’s Denali Park ranger talk. I’m Jim Kulik, and we’re going to discuss some of the history—”
A pair of gorgeous blue eyes and a shock of blonde hair on a tall, handsome man made him lose his train of thought for a second before he regained his composure. “—geology, and wildlife.” Jim continued his talk, but his eyes kept wandering to the attractive blond, and to his surprise, the man seemed to be looking back. When he’d point out something off on the horizon, everyone’s eyes would move in that direction except the man’s, whose gaze stayed on Jim. Jim thought it looked like the man forced himself to look away.
After the hour-long talk was completed, he stayed around answering questions, and to his delight, he noticed that the blond man seemed to be hanging back, almost waiting for him, and sure enough, once everyone was gone, there he was.
Jim approached him and introduced himself like he’d done with everyone else. The man introduced himself as Dave. “So, how long are you staying?” Jim asked.
“I’m camping for the next few days. Tomorrow, I’m taking the bus ride into the park.” Dave was smiling, almost grinning.
“Were you able to get a reservation? Sometimes they fill up fast.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m on the eight o’clock bus. I’m really looking forward to the trip. I was recently transferred to Anchorage, and this is my first chance to get out of the city.” Jim couldn’t help notice the excitement in Dave’s voice or that he appeared to be babbling a little—maybe that was a good sign. Hell, watching his lips move was getting Jim excited. He didn’t care if Dave babbled all night as long as he stayed where he was.
Jim found himself smiling back at Dave. “You’re just starting your vacation? Where are you headed next?”
“After I leave the park, I’m heading south; I haven’t fully decided where I’m going yet.” Dave started to move toward the campground, and Jim wondered if he should follow, but Dave kept talking as they walked, so Jim kept walking with him.
After a long conversation, Dave said, “Good night, Jim, and thank you for the wonderful talk and the conversation.” Jim reached out and shook Dave’s hand again.
Dave’s smooth skin felt really good against his own. “Good night, Dave, enjoy the rest of your trip.” Smiling, Jim walked down the road. After taking a few steps, he turned around and was surprised to see Dave standing outside the door of his camper-van watching him. Jim waved, and Dave returned it before going inside.
Jim kept smiling as he walked through the campground to the main road and eventually his quarters. Getting ready for bed, he was surprised when he looked at the clock and realized it was after eleven. He’d spent over two hours talking with Dave, and it seemed like two minutes—that type of connection hadn’t happened since Jerome.
Jim went into the bathroom and was brushing his teeth when he heard a knock. After spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing his mouth, he answered the door. Carl, his supervisor, was outside. “Carl, what are you doing? It’s after eleven.”
“Can I talk to you?” Carl seemed jittery… even more than usual.
“Sure, come on in.” Jim waited for him to enter and then closed the door.
“I need another favor.” Now what? “I know you’re set to go home in a few days, and you’re officially done as of today, but there’re some supplies that have to go to Kantishna, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to take them tomorrow.” Carl stepped back as if he expected Jim to get angry.
“Okay.”
Carl continued. “They need the supplies right—” Carl stopped and looked at Jim. “Did you say okay?”
Jim laughed. “Yes, no problem.” Jim kept laughing as Carl tried to figure out what just happened.
“Oh… okay… good.”
Still laughing, Jim said, “I’ll stop by your office and pick up the supplies at seven-thirty so I can catch the first bus out.”
“Okay, sure.” Carl turned to leave. “Uh, thanks for the help.”
Jim squeezed Carl’s shoulder. “Any time, bud, glad to help.”
Carl turned and smiled before quietly leaving the room. Jim shook his head before heading back into the bathroom where he finished cleaning up and got ready for bed. After setting the alarm as a precaution, he climbed into bed, images of a tall, blond man filling his happy dreams.
The light in his room brightened, and his alarm sounded, bringing Jim out of a sound sleep. Yawning and stretching, he got himself out of bed and walked bleary-eyed into the bathroom to clean up. He showered and changed before leaving his room and walking to Carl’s office, eating a granola bar along the way.
Carl was out when he got there, but there was a note telling Jim what to take and who to deliver the supplies to. Checking the clock, he grabbed the supplies and hurried out to the park buses, meeting Carl along the way.
“Thanks for your help. I see you found everything,” Carl said.
Jim kept walking. “Yeah, but I need to hurry; the bus will be leaving soon.” He picked up his pace. Carl stopped trying to keep up and watched his friend power walk toward the bus loading area, shaking his head.
Jim arrived five minutes before the bus was scheduled to leave. After checking in at the depot, he climbed on the bus, carrying his bundle and looking for a specific head of blond hair, but it was nowhere to be found. Jim started moving down the aisle, checking for empty seats when just the man he was hoping to see bobbed up right next to him. The seat next to Dave was empty as was the seat across the aisle. “Is this seat taken?
Dave looked up and smiled. “No.” Damn… not just any smile, but an aurora borealis of a smile. Dave moved his legs and made room. “I didn’t expect to see you again. Are you taking the tour?” That smile stayed in place and maybe got a little brighter if that was possible.
Jim placed the supplies on the seat across the aisle and sat next to Dave, flashing his own best smile. “They asked me to deliver some supplies to one of the stations.” He indicated the bundle on the other seat. “How far are you going?”
“I was thinking of riding to the last station. I don’t know when I’ll be back, so I thought I’d see everything I could.”
The bus pulled away from the station and headed into the park,
the bus driver pointing out the sights as they went along the road. The route passed by rivers and streams, moose grazed in river flats, and Dall Sheep could be seen on some of the mountains. Dave was enthralled by the scenery, and Jim couldn’t help pointing out his favorite sights. At one point, the bus driver stopped and talked about a beautiful pink cushion near the road, explaining that it was a Moss Campion. It looked like a small green cushion about a foot across, and it was covered with pink flowers.
Jim leaned close, whispering. “Based upon its size, that plant is probably a hundred and fifty years old.” Dave turned to look at Jim and met his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes bore into him as the scent of soap, wind, and Dave, reached his nose.
After about an hour, they drove through a pass with sheer cliffs. The view was breathtaking. The landscape had been scoured by the river below, exposing layer after layer of different-colored rocks and sediment. Jim watched as Dave opened the window and snapped a few pictures before the bus moved on.
“This is one of my favorite places in the park,” Jim said. “The river, colored hills and mountains, and the grasslands all remind me how powerful nature is, and at the same time, that that power creates such beauty.” Dave nodded, his face so close to Jim’s that Jim almost reached out to stroke a cheek, but he kept his hand away.
The bus stopped at the Eielson Visitor Center, but neither of them got off; they were having such a good time talking that they barely realized the bus had stopped. The bus was largely empty as they pulled away from the station. The ride to the small town of Kantishna took about two hours. The scenery continued to astound as the bus trekked toward the end of the road. Reaching Kantishna, the bus driver told them that he would be starting back in an hour.
As they got off the bus, Jim said, “I have to make my delivery. I’ll see you soon.”
Jim went into the ranger station and completed his delivery, leaving the supplies with the ranger in charge, and then headed to the roadhouse for lunch. He saw Dave sitting alone at a table. “May I join you?”
