Tribal (my misery muse)

by Brei Betzold

  Cris

  Sunday afternoon Max and I rode our Harleys to Devi and Seth’s house for the bar-be-que to celebrate Max’s birthday earlier that week. Since Sunday was the only day the shop was closed, it was the only day all of us could get together to really celebrate it. I was looking forward to seeing Ash, but I didn’t know what to expect when everyone found out about us. I also didn’t really give a shit, but I knew she did especially since it’s her employers as well as friends. We were going to say something before but things always seemed to happen to interfere with the timing, like Drake’s accident, so I was waiting for something else to stop us from finally letting the cat out of the bag.

  “Ready for this?” Max asked as we were heading up to the door. He already knew about us and knew the plan to let everyone else know.

  “Yeah, been ready for a while.”

  “Well good luck, I don’t think they will care much,” he said and smirked over at me.

  “Shut up, let’s go in,” I said, ringing the doorbell and walking in the door to chaos which is typical of Devi’s house lately. The kids were screaming, Jaks running around, and the guys were either trying to soothe a baby or completely ignoring it while playing video games—ah, life at the Taylor household.

  I walked through the house to the kitchen and found Devi, Mags, and Ash in there getting food ready for the grill. I walked behind Ash and ran my fingers across the skin showing on her lower back and had to fight a smirk when I saw her shiver. I loved that I could get a reaction like that out of her. I happened to glance over at Devi and found her watching us. She winked at me and went back to what she was doing—well I guess we weren’t being as circumspect as we had thought.

  “So Cris, more interviews tomorrow?” Devi asked.

  “One, I am meeting Haven tomorrow.”

  “I’ve heard good things about her.”

  “Yeah me too, and she was trained by a pioneer of body modification.”

  Devi nodded. “Let me know how it goes.”

  I took a deep breath. It was still strange to think that Devi had just as many rights to my shop as I did, but Devi wasn’t acting any different than she normally would have. I had always discussed hiring and firing with her.

  “Will do.”

  “So how long have you two been together?”

  I chuckled, that was Devi, she never missed anything. “About eight months.”

  “And I am just now figuring it out, damn, I am slipping.”

  “You’ve been a little busy.”

  “That’s true,” she muttered.

  I glanced over at Ash who was beet red. I guess she hadn’t realized her boss knew about us.

  “You okay?” I whispered to her.

  She nodded but didn’t look up at me; I didn’t know why she was embarrassed.

  “So you don’t have a problem with it, do you?” I asked not really caring for me, but I knew Ash did.

  “I don’t give a damn, as long as you keep everything zipped around my kids, but that goes for everyone.”

  “Yes, I already received that lecture after X in your kitchen.”

  She nodded. “Everyone did.”

  “So we’re good?”

  “Yeah we’re good, just be nice to her or I will kick your ass.”

  “I would expect nothing less from you.”

  She smiled over at me. “As long as you’re both happy, I am happy.”

  “Thanks, Devi.”

  “You’re welcome Cris, now get out of my kitchen unless you want to help cook.”

  I knew when to get the hell out, so I went in with the guys. We quickly got into talking about music, tattoos, and bikes.

  Chapter 3

  Ash

  I watched Cris walk out of the kitchen, then looked back at Devi. “You’re sure this is okay?”

  Devi shrugged. “Is it really my place to say that I am or am not okay with it?” she asked looking me in the eye.

  “I just don’t want this to screw up my job here.”

  She nodded still watching me. “I can understand your concern over that, but I’ve never told you that you couldn’t date anyone from my tattoo shop, that rule has only ever applied to the band.”

  Mags snickered and Devi shot her a glare.

  “I am starting to think that a rule of all employees will be made though,” she mused. “I keep losing my best and favorite employees to these guys.”

  “You… You’re firing me?” I stuttered.

  “Of course not, but I know Cris and he keeps his private life private so if he’s making it public then it’s more than just play between you two. I just don’t want to see either of you hurt.”

  I nodded a little confused by this. “I can understand that.”

  She looked me over once more. “I don’t think you do, at least not yet. You will though, Cris has been hurt before,” she said sadly, “and I don’t want to see that happen again; he’s my friend.”

  “I’ll try not to hurt him.”

  She nodded again and gave me a small smile.

  “So Ash,” Mags began smirking at me, “how’s Cris in bed?”

  “Uhm,” I said eyeing Mags then looking over at Devi who was staring at Mags like she’d grown a second head.

  “You can ignore her,” Devi said winking at me. “I already know that Cris can be a bit unusual, no one needs to know what you two do behind closed doors.”

  With that, she turned and walked out of the kitchen carrying a bowl of food Mags following her asking questions about her last comment. It’s not that I was embarrassed about being Cris’s submissive, I just didn’t really want that information out to the general public. Like Devi had said some things were better left behind closed doors. It also left the question how did Devi know about Cris? As far as I knew, he didn’t go around advertising his sex life or what it entailed. Hell, it had taken two months of us dating before he told me about his less than vanilla likes; I just happened to enjoy the same thing. After that discussion, we never looked back, and we’d spent the last six months learning each other in that aspect of our relationship.

  It wasn’t like either of us wanted a Dom/sub relationship all the time, that lifestyle quickly became boring, in my opinion. Once in the bedroom though, that was a different story, having someone I trusted to dominate me in bed just worked for me. It wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy normal sex, I did and it had its place. Only more often than not I liked more. I liked being ordered, begging, and the bite of pain he could deliver. That just wasn’t anyone’s business but Cris’s and mine though. So I had every intention of finding out why Devi knew about Cris and his less than usual sex life.

  I grabbed the salad I had been working on and brought it out amongst the squeals of Jaks, and cries of Cait. I laughed when I put the food down and saw Jaks shoot Xavier with a Nerf gun then run away. Seth was fighting with a tired Cait; it was past her naptime and she was fighting it hard. I walked over in his direction when an arm wrapped around my stomach and pulled me back against a hard chest.

  I didn’t need to look back to see who it was. “Yes?”

  “So how was it?” Cris whispered in my ear.

  I shrugged. “Fine, but we need to talk before you leave,” I told him.

  He stiffened and let his arm drop. “About what?”

  “Later okay, I need to get Cait down for a nap and its lunch time.”

  “Sure,” he muttered and I looked over my shoulder at him.

  He gave me a strained smile before spinning and walking off towards where the guys from the shop were sitting in the family room. I shrugged it off and went and saved Seth from a cranky little girl, I was working today.

  * * *

  Cris

  “So I hear that you’re leaving soon; have a tour to finish?”

  Sam took a drink of his beer and nodded. “Yep.”

  “What after that?” I asked Sam.

  “We’re taking a break, working on a new album.”

  “My Misery Muse, you and Max have
some family stuff to deal with.”

  Sam jerked his head to look at me. “You know about that?”

  “Yeah, Max told me, he wanted me to know so if he needed to take some time off, he could.”

  “Yeah,” Sam said running his hand through his hair, “that makes sense.”

  “I take it you haven’t told them?”

  He shook his head. “Don’t know how.”

  “Well if you need anything, even someone to talk to.”

  “Thanks,” he said softly.

  “You’ll be gone six weeks?”

  “Yeah, we have to finish the last leg of the tour we canceled after Drake’s accident. None of us really want to, but it’s in our contract. Once we finish this though, we’re done with that label.”

  “I heard about that, congrats on buying your own label.”

  “It should be interesting,” he murmured. “Seth and I have wanted this from the beginning. More control over our music, closer to home, it should be good.”

  “So is it just you and Seth?”

  “That’s the way it was planned but X wanted in also. Eli wasn’t interested. He just wants to beat on his drums, hang out, and not have any kind of real responsibility.”

  “Yeah, but you can’t blame the guy. His dad had been riding him since birth, all he’s known is responsibility.”

  “That is true. So what’s new with you and the shop?”

  “Devi bought in as a silent partner in the shop. We’re hiring a body modifier as well as some new tattoo artists.” Sam nodded so I went on. “And I’ve been dating Ash.”

  Sam smirked at me. “I know, how’s that going for you?”

  “Ash or Devi?”

  “Both,” he said grinning.

  “Devi’s always been there, this doesn’t change anything. She and I have been partners since the place opened; it’s just official now. Ash and I are… I don’t know what we are but its good.”

  “Good for you,” Sam said looking at the floor frowning.

  “You okay?”

  He nodded but was looking off in a different direction. “Yeah, I’m okay just thinking.”

  I cocked my head to the side and looked at my longtime friend. “What’s her name?”

  “Whose?”

  “The girl you’re thinking about.”

  He shook his head. “No one, at least not how you think.”

  “Then how is it?”

  “A friend who needs help.”

  “Someone I know?”

  He nodded. “Yeah you know her, but she doesn’t want you or anyone else to know, hell,, she doesn’t want me to know.”

  “Then how do you?”

  “Would you believe by accident?”

  I nodded slowly getting a bad feeling. “If you need anything…” I began but he looked up at me and I could see the pain etched in his eyes.

  “I can’t,” he said softly, “though I want to.”

  I nodded reluctantly feeling like we were having two very different conversations right then.

  “So how did Ash take you and Devi’s history?” Sam asked slyly.

  It was my turn to look away. “Haven’t told her.”

  Sam stared at me, I could feel it even though I hadn’t looked back at him.

  “Are you crazy or stupid?”

  “A little of both?”

  “Oh I would say a lot of both, you know she will find out. Don’t you think it would be better if it came from you that you proposed to her not only boss but friend?”

  I rubbed the back of my neck and looked at him. “Yeah?”

  “Then why haven’t you?”

  “Haven’t gotten around to it?”

  He shook his head taking a drink of his beer. “You are a dead man,” he said then walked way still shaking his head.

  I sighed and silently agreed with him. This is why since Ash told me she needed to talk to me I had been avoiding both her and Devi. Though if someone would have told her, especially Devi, I think my balls would have already been detached from my body. Both women were scary when angry, though Devi’s moods had been all over the place lately. That alone should scare me into telling Ash my history, as innocent as it was, with Devi. I still couldn’t; I had tried more than once then stopped for some reason.

  Max waved towards the door and I nodded following him out the front door and to our bikes. I left without saying bye to anyone, something I knew I would pay for later. Only I didn’t want to deal with my bubble being popped yet if that’s what was going to happen. I had already been dealt that blow once when Seth came back. I couldn’t handle losing Ash, even though it would be my fault for not being honest with her. A few more days I told myself, then I’d tell her everything.

  Chapter 4

  Ashlen

  I let myself into Cris’s house using the key he had given me a few months ago. I wasn’t sure how this evening would go, I was still pissed at him for ditching me last weekend. We hadn’t talked much, every time I texted or called he would claim he was busy; I wanted to finally pin him down. I wanted, no, I needed to know what was going on with us. Devi hadn’t said anything about the shop being any busier than normal and I was scared to ask about Cris. I didn’t want to come across like that, be that girl. So I left it, and let it fester.

  I found him sitting on the couch playing Xbox. He glanced up at me then back to the TV where he was trying to shoot something. I didn’t know and didn’t really care.

  “Didn’t know if you would be coming over tonight,” he murmured.

  “I texted and said I would be,” I told him bitingly. “Devi and Seth took the kids out.”

  He nodded and kept playing his game.

  “Cris, want to maybe tell me what’s going on?”

  “Nothing’s going on, why?”

  “You’ve been ignoring me for almost a week, and that’s nothing?”

  “I’ve been working,” he said after taking a drink from his beer.

  “That’s never stopped you before.”

  “It was busier than normal. I’ve had interviews this week.”

  I glared at him. “Cris, what the fuck is going on?”

  “Nothing,” he mumbled cursing under his breath when he died on his game.

  I nodded. “Fine maybe tonight’s a mistake, I’ll just go home.” I turned towards to head back out the door when a hand clamped around my arm.

  “I didn’t say you could leave,” he murmured.

  “Cris, I may be submissive in the bedroom, but that does not pertain to outside life. I will not let you treat me like this. If you want this to work, if you want us, then you need to talk to me. If you want a plaything then go get one, but it won’t be me. We left that place already.” I pulled my arm from his hold.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

  “Not really,” he murmured kissing the back of my neck.

  “This isn’t how it’s going to work, Cris,” I said a sounding a little breathless, “you’re not going to ignore me all week, then expect to fuck me.”

  “Fuck Ash, I said I’m sorry.”

  “They’re just words, Cris, without you telling me what’s going on,” I whispered.

  “I told you, I’ve been busy, had a lot on my mind,” he yelled.

  I froze, this wasn’t the Cris I knew, he didn’t yell, at least not at me.

  “I’m sorry, Ashlen.”

  I nodded but didn’t look back at him. “I’m not Ashlen right now, I’m Ash, your girlfriend.”

  “I think I need you to be Ashlen right now,” he said quietly.

  “I am not a punching bag.”

  “I know that, I just I need to forget for a while. I need you.”

  I stood there and thought about that, he wouldn’t hurt me, do more than I could take. I trusted him, he wouldn’t do anything to ruin that, but on the other hand, I needed to trust him in more than just as a Dom. I needed him to trust me also.

  “Cris,” I hedged.
>
  “What do you want from me?” he yelled.

  “I want for you to tell me what the fuck your problem is!” I screamed back.

  “My problem is my girlfriend’s being a frigid bitch!” he shouts.

  “Then it seems to me you need a new god damn girlfriend,” I said quietly, too quietly.

  “Fuck!” he screams. “I didn’t mean that Ash, god damn it, why can’t I do anything right?” he yells then throws his beer across the wall where it shatters against the wall.

  I stand stock still not sure what to expect from him.

  “I keep fucking everything up, first my shop, now with you,” he says while yanking at his hair. “Why for once can I not keep my shit together?”

  I blink then I walk towards him and wrap my arms around him. “Shh,” I whisper in his ear and rock him side to side while he holds me tightly against him.

  “Please, Ash please let me have some control tonight, please I need it. I won’t hurt you, god I’d never hurt you.”

  I nod once then stand before him and watch as he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

  “Ashlen, take your clothes off then get on the wall,” he murmured behind me.

  I quickly took off and folded my clothes placing them on the coffee table, then walked over to where he had removed the pictures. The three pictures that usually hung here hid the various D-rings he had installed into the wall. I stood there facing the wall, my breathing picking up at what we were about to do.

  I felt a finger slide down my spine and I shivered. “So very cooperative tonight, Ashlen.”

  I took a deep breath. “Yes, Sir.”

  “You want this as much as I do, don’t you?” he asked quietly.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He licked the base of my neck and hummed. “Turn around slowly and face me.”

  “Yes, Sir,” I whispered turning around to face him. He looked gorgeous, his dark eyes on fire. The tattoos that covered his body looked alive while they strained against his body.

  “Hands up, Ashlen.”

  I placed my arms up over my head, he grabbed a wrist and encircled it with a leather cuff then quickly did the same with a second. He pulled a chain from his back pocket and clicked it onto the left cuff. I heard the chain slide through one of the D-rings before clipping onto the other cuff. I sighed, I loved being restrained, the cool wall quickly heating with my body heat. Feeling stretched out for his taking and perusal, giving him permission to do what we both wanted, him being in control.