Whiteout

by L. E. Harner

  The thought that Cade would deliberately try to hurt himself by leaving during a lull in the storm made him feel sick. Carter didn’t think Cade had thought it through that far; he’d just made his mind up that he didn’t want to be here with the other two. He worked to keep his face courtroom impassive while he ministered to his friend.

  “Okay, Cade, you’re grounded. No moving around for twelve hours. Here’s your ibuprofen. Do you want to stay here on the floor, get on the couch, or go to bed?”

  Cade sat up to take the pills, and he looked like he thought the room might be rotating. He took the pills and said meekly, “I think I’ll stay here for a bit. Shit, Carter, I feel like hell. Did you get the number of the truck that hit me?”

  He fought to control the anger in his voice. Fought and lost. “God damn it, Cade! This isn’t fucking funny. What in the hell did you think you were doing out there? There was no fucking way you could have driven down the mountain and lived. None!”

  Everything came crashing over him at once. He was overloaded on adrenaline. He had been desperately afraid he wouldn’t be able to save Cade. He’d dug and clawed and lifted to uncover Cade and carry him to safety. He’d thought Cade was going to die, and the emotions that had been suppressed by the need for action were finally pouring out of him.

  “I’m sorry if fucking me was such a mistake that you never want to see me again, but killing yourself over it has to be the biggest boneheaded move you’ve ever made. Driving down that mountain would have been suicide.

  “I can’t take back what we did, and God knows I’m not sorry. All I can do is stay out of your way. I will. But don’t be such a stupid ass. Christina loves you. You love her, and you almost fucking blew it.”

  He took one last look at Cade’s pale face and shaking hands. He watched as Cade dry washed his face in that oh-so-familiar way. He would miss that face, those mannerisms. He would miss everything about Cade. Carter loved Cade more than life, but he would rather see him happy with Christina than know he was gone from this world forever. He’d known deep in his heart that leaving Cade was the price for this weekend. He turned on his heel and went to the room Christina had originally given him that first afternoon. He would wait out the storm in there.

  Christina placed the big bowl of warm water, a washcloth, and a towel on the floor next to Cade. “Okay, time for a little wash up. I’m going to start with your face and work my way down. Try to keep you head out of the gutter, McMartin, because the doctor said you had to stay still for the next twelve hours,” she teased lightly. Without waiting for an answer or worrying about small talk, she washed Cade and dried each part carefully before moving on.

  The wind whipped and howled outside, but it was still quiet inside her cabin. She’d heard every word of Carter’s rant. She secretly agreed with much of what was said, but Cade didn’t need her lecturing him, too. When she’d walked into the room, he’d thrown a forearm over his eyes but not before she’d seen the raw pain and sheen of tears.

  She’d fought to keep her words light and tone neutral. It would be up to her if this was all to be made right. Cade and Carter were both too fragile emotionally to find a clear path right now. She hid a smile at that thought. Her two big strapping men, lawyers with silver tongues, had wrapped themselves up in such an emotional tangle that they couldn’t see their way out.

  Christina was a natural-born designer. She’d always been able to see beauty in chaos, potential in ruin, create order from confusion. Her degree had given her credentials, taught her the tools of her profession, but nature had given her the true gift. By pushing her own insecurities aside, she’d been able to examine their situation from a bird’s eye view, and she was stunned at the simplicity and the splendor of the pattern that emerged.

  She believed Carter’s subconscious had pushed his suppressed desire for Cade to the forefront and the feelings had become impossible to ignore. Some part of Cade must have been waiting for those feelings, because there’d been no momentary shock. It had been a pure hunger between the two men ever since they’d arrived on her mountain.

  What she knew—and they still fought—was their hunger went far beyond a physical desire. Cade and Carter loved each other in a way that meant they needed to be together forever. It wasn’t just chance they’d stayed roommates for the last ten years. They needed each other. They’d stayed true to each other even though their conscious minds hadn’t caught up. Or, more likely, they just weren’t ready yet, because all the pieces hadn’t been in place. They were now, if only she could get them to listen to her.

  Chapter Twelve

  Christina drew the covers securely around Cade and refused to acknowledge the hurt in his eyes. She would fix it soon enough. For now, she had a few practical items to take care of, and he needed rest.

  “Try to sleep for a little, Cade. I’ll wake you up in thirty minutes,” she said and kissed him lightly on the lips.

  The top of her woodstove was hot enough to cook on, and soon the comforting aroma of homemade chicken soup filled the air. Cade would eventually be hungry, especially once his brain caught up to all that work he’d done before he’d been injured.

  She put clean sheets on the bed, so when Cade was able to get up from his spot on the floor, she and Carter could help him to the bed. She put new candles around the house then decided to bring in more wood from the stack outside her back door.

  Standing with her back to the door, Christina watched the fury of the storm and said an ironic prayer of thanks that Cade had been hurt before he’d tried to make it down the mountain. They were in complete whiteout conditions now. She was unable to see two feet in front of her. She knew how easy it would be to get disoriented if she stepped away from the comfort of the door at her back. Not unlike the situation her men found themselves in now. Disoriented and needing her to guide them. She was ready.

  Carter raced into the kitchen when he heard the back door slam in the wind. What the fuck is happening now?

  “Christina?” he called, as he desperately threw open the door.

  She gave a little squeak, as if he’d startled her.

  “What are you doing out here? It’s dangerous!” he shouted above the roar of the wind.

  “Here,” she yelled and handed him a stack of wood.

  Relieved to discover it was just a mundane task, Carter helped her bring in enough wood for the next twenty-four hours. They left it in the kitchen to dry and worked together to wipe the melted snow from the floor.

  Christina prattled on about the weather, an easy subject given the extreme nature of the storm. Carter thought she was avoiding talking about anything personal. He didn’t blame her. It would be awkward until he could get out of the cabin and out of the way. He tried not to stare, but she was so beautiful, and he knew he loved her just as much as he loved Cade. If only they could have made it work. But Cade’s and Christina’s happiness was most important. Stepping aside was the right thing to do.

  It happened quickly. Carter was all noble one minute, ready to give up the girl for his best friend. The next minute he was kissing Christina with every bit of the desperation he felt. He pressed her back against the door, and then their tongues were dancing. He pushed at her, tasting her sweetness, savoring the way her body melted into his. He wanted her with every fiber of his being. They could have this morning, this one last time together, couldn’t they?

  “Chrissie?” Cade called, his voice a muffled groan. God, he sounded so pathetic. He cleared his throat and tried again, with better results.

  Christina came through the door in a hurry, her face pinched with worry. He hated that he’d put that expression on her face.

  “I’m sorry, Chrissie. Will you forgive me?” he asked as she knelt beside him. “I was selfish—”

  He trailed off as Carter came through the kitchen door. Carter. God, how could he have done this to him? “Carter, please,” Cade said, and he knew his voice held a note of pleading.

  Carter froze, clearly torn between ret
reating or coming to Cade’s side. Cade held his hand out, and Carter came, kneeling down opposite Christina.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been out there, I shouldn’t have even thought about leaving.” Cade looked away for a minute, and Christina interrupted before he could continue.

  “Shut up, Cade. I have something to tell you both, but not until I know you’re really with us. You’re looking better. How are you feeling?”

  “Like a damn fool.” He quickly changed his answer when Christina hit his arm. “I’m good, Chrissie, really. I feel much better.”

  “That’s good. Now can you lay there and be still while I talk for a bit? Or do you want to sleep some more right now?”

  He looked at the resolve in her face and knew he was in for a tongue lashing. From the look on Carter’s face, he was expecting one, too. Well, they might as well get it over with.

  “Go ahead, Chrissie. I deserve whatever you want to say to me,” Cade said.

  “Yes, you do,” she agreed, with a smile.

  “Do you want to sit up or lie down? This is going to take a while.” Christina asked, secretly amused at the look on the men’s faces. They both looked as though they expected her to chew their asses. Cade remained on the floor, on his back, but propped himself a little higher with some pillows. Carter sat on the floor next to Cade and leaned against the couch. Yesterday they would have touched, she thought. It made her more determined than ever to make this right.

  “While the two of you went off to college and law school, I decided to follow my passion and become an interior designer. I’d always had a flair for seeing how things should fit together, and I thought I might actually enjoy making money doing what I really loved.” She stopped to enjoy the look of utter confusion on both on their faces. This was apparently not what they’d been expecting.

  “I’m a very successful designer because I have a clear vision. I can listen to the opposing views of a wife and a husband and create a room they both love by finding the commonalities. I also have very strong opinions, probably something that doesn’t surprise either of you,” she said, noting their grins. “Although I pride myself on flexibility, there are certain things that I always thought should stay traditional. It’s part of the trademark of my designs.

  “When I bought this cabin, it required extensive rehab work, and the contractor and I worked on it in stages, whenever I had enough money to take on the next phase. It took years. The last room I tackled was my bedroom. I wanted it just right and when it was finished it was a decorator showcase. It was even featured in two different magazine spreads, and my business grew.

  “I’d been finished with the room for months, received professional praise, but still something hadn’t felt completely right about the design to me. It was comfortable and beautiful, but finally I had to admit to myself, something was missing. I finally stepped back and really examined it with my true designer’s vision, the one I’d been born with, not what I’d learned in school. I realized what was missing was the one piece that would make the room right for me.

  “Until that moment, I’d always believed bedrooms were supposed to be bedrooms, not have a separate workout space, not have a television, and certainly not little reading nooks. Giving up the perfection of the design was hard, but I created a small reading area.

  “I know this probably sounds silly, but that one act flew in the face of every bedroom design I’d ever made. Yet somehow, until I was willing to set aside my conventional beliefs about traditional design, my room would never feel complete to me without my little reading space. I know, it’s a dumb story, but it is the best way I know to show you what I mean.”

  Carter’s hand had moved to Cade’s shoulder. Cade placed a hand over the top of it, but neither looked away from her. It was as though her clumsy story held them spellbound. She plowed ahead, sure of her message, sure of what was right.

  “Look at each other.” She waited until Cade looked up at Carter. “Can you honestly say you could live your life without the other? The things in your lives that have stood the test of time are the things you do together.”

  Cade took Carter’s hand and brought it slowly to his lips, never taking his eyes from his friend’s face. She waited for a moment before continuing, her throat tight at the intimate and loving gesture.

  “Now both of you look at me, because it’s not just the two of you that I’m talking about. If what was conventionally right for most people wasn’t what was right for my own bedroom design, what possessed me to think my relationships would be any more normal?

  “I tried the traditional route, with dating and such. Nothing normal ever worked for me. Living alone was better than dating the men I’d met. I’ve always been attracted to both of you, but we never took that step before this weekend. Now I know that I was unfinished until the moment you two walked through my door.

  “I’m just as much a part of the equation that makes this all work. So what if we’re non-traditional? It’s what we need to be complete. You both need me as much as I need you. We’re going to fly in the face of convention, we’re all going to be together and damn anyone who can’t accept it.”

  She’d said all she meant to say. Now it was up to the men to see the truth of her words, the truth of their relationship.

  Cade lay there for a minute with his eyes closed and struggled to keep from getting too caught up in the moment. He’d had a plan, he reminded himself, and he’d fucked it up. Royally. Now Chrissie was offering all he’d ever dreamed of.

  Wait, was this the concussion talking?

  His eyes flew open to find her staring at him, her liquid brown eyes were dark pools he could get lost in forever. “Chrissie, are you saying you would stay with me? With us? Forever?” he asked, unable to hide the hope. His hand gripped Carter’s, and he risked a glance. Carter was staring at Chrissie with the same look of awe that Cade felt on his own face.

  “Are you two willing to commit to such a relationship?” Christina countered.

  He met Carter’s gaze. The two men stared at each other a long time. Could they do this? It had never bothered him before if people had thought them gay because he knew they weren’t. Would it bother him now that they had become lovers? He didn’t think so. Carter was a good man, a loyal friend, already his partner in so many ways.

  His smile came from his heart. “Fuck.” He grinned at Carter.

  “Fuck,” Carter agreed, just before he lowered his mouth to Cade’s and claimed him with a kiss.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Christina shivered between her two men and wondered if they could hear the pounding of her heart. She was nervous. They’d spent the previous night and most of today working to keep Cade calm, a nearly impossible task. He’d wanted to make love right away to seal their commitment, but both she and Carter stood firm. The doctor had said no strenuous activity, and they were keeping him true to the letter of the instructions.

  Since they wouldn’t let Cade do much of anything, and watching television was out because there was no electricity, he’d decided they needed to make plans. Carter agreed, so the men put on their lawyer hats and started asking questions.

  She sat back and listened as the men planned her future. She cared deeply about her cabin but, other than that, she was willing to let most things be decided by them.

  Cade and Carter wanted to sell their townhouse and put the money they made into making the cabin suitable for three adults living there full time. The upstairs bedroom was certainly big enough, but the men needed an office and wanted a man cave to play in. Her contractor would certainly be happy. Christina idly started sketching the renovations while they continued to plan.

  When talk turned to a reception, her brows went up. “A reception?”

  Both men nodded, and Carter took the lead. “We love you, and we love each other. We’re going to be living together and filing papers in court making us full partners in every way, so it wouldn’t be much of a secret, anyway. Plus, I don’t want our mothers
continuing to hound us about finding the right person, when we already have, twice over.”

  Cade chimed in, “We should shout it from the rooftops. We’re not going to be ashamed of our love. It’ll make explanations easier when we have babies, too.”

  That stopped everybody for a few minutes. She realized she did want babies with them. After some discussion they decided to leave the first pregnancy to chance. May the fastest sperm win, she’d thought with a smile. Once the baby was born, that father would use a condom when it came time to get pregnant again. Christina felt like the most loved and the luckiest woman in the world.

  That was how her evening had been spent, but now it was time for promises kept. Cade had promised to fuck her ass, and she’d promised to let him. Carter had added his own twist to the mix. He wanted to be inside her at the same time as Cade. She was definitely excited and more than a teeny bit nervous.

  Her worries seemed to melt away as Cade took one breast and Carter the other. Their mouths were so different, yet each left her feeling delicious. Carter suckled hard, while Cade pinched and lightly bit. Together they caused that familiar tingling sensation between her legs to return with a vengeance.

  Dear God, these men were special.

  Cade raised his mouth to hers, and then began raining kisses over her breasts, her neck, her face. His fingers traced feathery scratches against her sides and low across her belly. She didn’t hold back the moan building deep in her throat.

  Christina ran her fingers through the golden curls that lightly dusted Cade’s chest. He was so beautiful, and he loved her. She was so caught up in loving Cade that she momentarily lost track of Carter. Until he made his presence known with his tongue between her legs.