by Mz. Toni
“Oh shit Shana you look good girl!”
“Do I know you?”
“It's Quesha boo.”
“Marquesha? Omg it's been so long!” I said hugging her. She smelled like dumpster juice and death but I could care less.
“I've been ok, you just took off and left me, no bye or nothing bitch!”
“It was a lot going on at that time so when I had the opportunity to leave this shit I did,” I said honestly.
“I can respect that shit girl, but I took it hard after you left,” she said sadly. Quesha was my best friend from elementary to high school. Her mother was addicted to drugs like mine and she was being molested by men just like I was, we looked out for each other for years. We both vowed to graduate high school and go to the same college, we would be roommates and everything, but when I got accepted early I forgot about her and everything else, I just wanted to leave the fucking hood. I feel like it's my fault. Maybe if I wouldn't have left her she would be totally different, she was always smart and had so much potential and it pained me to see her that way.
“I'm so sorry boo, I wasn't even thinking at the time.”
“It's cool, I've made some mistakes along the years but that's my fault.”
“Do you want to get clean Quesha?”
“Yes, I'm ready!” she said with so much passion it brought tears to my eyes.
“Listen I have to find my mom but give me ya number and Imma call you ASAP.”
“Does it look like I have a number Shana?” she asked with a smirk, but I knew she was embarrassed.
“My bad, that's my car over there get in and wait for me.”
“Aight ya mom is in section L, apartment thirteen.”
“Thanks!” I said as I made my way to the apartment. When I walked in I felt like I was going to vomit. There were roaches and rats running around and it honestly smelled like there was a fucking dead animal hidden under all this trash.
“Janette!” I screamed through the apartment.
“Yo who you looking for?” some young drug dealer asked.
“I'm looking for Nette,” I said placing my hand on my pocket knife.
“She back there beautiful, what you need that crack whore for?” he asked laughing.
“Because that crack whore is my fucking mom!” I screamed pushing past him.
“Nette!” I screamed trying to adjust my eyes to the dark room.
“Who that!” she screamed back.
“I may need help testing some product my man told me to find the best and I heard you're it,” I lied.
“Hell yeah I'm the best,” she said jumping up with a smile.
“Aight but he needs you now so come on.” I couldn't take being in that fucking apartment for a minute longer. Walking out the apartment, I headed to my car only to find that Quesha had left, I guess she wasn't really ready to get clean. I told my mom to get into my car and when she did I child locked my doors.
“Do you love your kids?”
“Girl just take me to ya man.”
“I ain't got no man; I'm here on behalf of Shante.”
“What, she awake?” my mother asked nonchalantly.
“No, but I was told that you want to pull the cord on her.”
“Hell yeah I do! What they doing to my baby, keeping her hooked up on those machines ain't right!” she said actually sounding like a real mother. I knew different though, she couldn't fool me, I saw right through her act.
“The doctor seems to think she will wake up soon.”
“He don't know that shit. Is you a lawyer or something?”
“Do you have other kids?” I asked ignoring her question.
“Naw just her,” she replied causing tears to fall from my eyes.
“You alright lady?”
“Mama it’s me Shana.”
“Why the fuck you playing games and shit, I'm thinking you a lawyer from the hospital,” she said pissed.
“Why you tryna kill my sister?”
“Girl you left her by herself, I ain't got to answer your fucking questions, I'm her mama and I got rights!”
“Yeah but so does her father or did you forget she had one?”
“That man all the way In New York, if he seen her fat ass walking down the street he wouldn't even know that was his child.”
“You know you have four grandkids.”
“Good for you now let me out this fucking car,” she said cold heartedly. I wanted to beat the shit out her, but since she was my mama I unlocked the door and let her ass leave. Starting my car, I was ready to pull off until she knocked on my window.
“I knew you couldn't be that cruel,” I said with a smile.
“Ummmm yeah well you got this nice car and shit can mama hold something?” she asked with no emotion. I couldn't even reply, I just started my car and got the fuck out of dodge. She hasn't changed at all, still the same selfish cold hearted bitch she’s always been. Pulling out my phone, I called Cam.
“I found Janette.”
“You did, what happened?”
“Exactly what y'all said would happen. That bitch don't care about nobody but herself.”
“I'm sorry things ain't go the way you planned,” Cam said sympathetically.
“It's cool. I ended up running into one of my old close friends from back in the day.”
“That’s cool. I meant to ask you about the other night though.”
“What’s up?”
“I noticed you were acting a little weird with Kasan, is everything ok?”
“Yeah yeah, everything is good. He’s my sister's man that's it,” I said nervously.
“Yeah aight, well I gotta go,” Camille said with an attitude, hanging up in my ear. Damn I know she knew something was up and me lying only made the shit seem worse than it actually was. I really need to talk to Kasan to clear the air on some things.
Chapter Six
(Kasan)
Pulling up to my warehouse, I was praying hard as hell that Tre was awake, I needed answers and this waiting shit was pissing me off. As I walked into the warehouse I was surprised to see Tre with so many machines hooked up to him.
“What’s going on with him?” I asked the nurse.
“What’s going on is this man had bleeding on the brain, he needs a hospital or he will die.”
“How did this happen, he was fine the other day.”
“He wasn't fine Mr. Richards, he was beaten severely.”
“I understand, but a hospital is out of the question, I need him here.”
“Look, I'm all for making extra money but this shit right here is just unethical!”
“Aight chill out and lower your fucking tone!” I snapped causing her to jump.
“I apologize, I wasn’t trying to disrespect you I'm just giving you my medical opinion,” she said scared.
“Aight, yo Chris!” I yelled out to my boy.
“What’s up?” Chris asked.
“He needs a hospital ASAP,” I said. Although I really didn't want him to leave my sight without the information I needed, what good would the nigga be dead.
“Aight, I’ll have one of the youngins drop him off.”
“Hell naw I need you to do it!”
“Damn you still mad? Shit, I said my bad!”
“I know you did but it doesn't change this shit!” I said walking away. He really needed to learn to control his temper or I would have to assign him to something else. It’s been two months today since the shooting and I still have no answers, I feel like a fucking failure. My ringing phone interrupted my thoughts. I saw it was Camille, so I answered.
“Hello.”
“How you feeling Kasan?”
“I'm alright, everything ok?”
“Yeah you know today makes two months and I wanted everyone to come up to the hospital.”
“Fuck you wanna have a party?”
“Not a party Kasan, but I want her to feel everyone's presence.”
“Aight I’ll be there,” I replied hanging
up the phone. On my way out the warehouse I got another phone call, this time from Chris.
“What’s good?”
“I'm in the parking lot of the hospital you need to get here!” he said. I swear if this nigga fucked up again homeboy or not I was gonna shoot his big ass. Fifteen minutes later, I pulled up into the hospital parking lot. Getting out my car, I hopped in his. Tre wasn't in the back seat so I was confused as to what the big problem was.
“Where that nigga at?”
“He inside. I waited and watched them grab him.”
“So what’s up nigga?”
“Man he woke up a little when I was getting him out the car, this nigga told me to grab his phone.”
“This nigga had his phone on him the whole time!” I said pissed.
“Naw I took his phone the day I grabbed him and turned it off.”
“Aight skip the dramatics nigga, what’s up,” I said getting impatient. Instead of continuing to talk he handed me Tre’s phone. I couldn't believe what I was looking at as I scrolled through the pictures. Hopping out of Chris’ car, I jumped back in mine and burned fucking rubber. Pulling up to her apartment, I knocked on her door. She wouldn't even open the door all the way for me.
“Kasan what you doing here?” she said nervously.
“I came to see you.”
“Is everything ok?”
“Naw you know with everything going on a nigga stressed out, I just wanted to see a familiar face,” I lied.
“Aight but before I open the door I have to tell you something.”
“You know you can tell me anything Keisha.”
“Ok well remember like eight months ago right before you got with Shante I popped up at the condo.”
“Yeah I remember. What about it?”
“Well you were drunk as hell and we ended up having sex. The next morning you woke me up and made me leave saying it was a mistake, a few months later I found out I was pregnant, I didn't tell you because I knew you would have tried to make me get an abortion,” she spilled out all in one breath.
“An abortion? What type of fuck nigga do you think I am? I would have taken care of my fucking child!” I said pissed. Instead of saying anything else she moved over and let me in the house and sure enough there was a big ass pregnant belly staring at me.
“You sure this is my baby?”
“Yes, I'm sure.”
“I thought you couldn't have any babies,” I said with a smirk. She had me fucked up if she thought that I would believe this shit without proof after what she did.
“So did I, but I guess they were wrong,” she said with a smile while rubbing her swollen belly. I would be lying if I said she didn't look good pregnant and all. Grabbing her hand, I led her over to the couch. I couldn't help but stare at her beautiful glowing face and round belly. Rubbing her stomach, I completely forgot what I came there for. For the next hour she told me all about her pregnancy, showed me all of her ultrasounds and told me about all of her cravings. She was pregnant with my first child, my baby girl, my daughter. Suddenly Shante popped into my head and I felt like shit. Here my girl was in a coma and I'm sitting here rubbing the belly of the person that could have put her here.
“I need to ask you something.”
“Ok!”
“Before I ask let me say this, our relationship ended because you were deceitful, you lied to me continuously. If you want things to be good between us you have to be honest from here on out. You're the mother of my seed, I would never hurt you and you and my child will always be taken care of, but I need you to answer my questions honestly.”
“Ok I promise I will be honest.”
“Did you have anything to do with what happened to Shante?”
“I'm so sorry!” she screamed before breaking down into tears.
“Calm down you're gonna hurt my baby, just tell me what happened.”
“I was so angry with her for taking you away from me Kasan. When I heard about what happened between you and her ex-boyfriend I knew he would work with me. I made him think I wanted him to hurt you but I swear on my child I would never hurt you, I just needed him to believe I would.”
“It's cool just keep going,” I said pissed off and confused.
“Well we had everything set in motion and at the last minute he had a change of heart and backed out. I had no choice but to finish it by myself so I followed her for days. I saw her parked at that mansion and I saw you go inside. I knew that was my only chance to get her so I wasted no time, I didn't think I just shot. I was pregnant, my hormones were crazy but I feel so bad about what I did,” she said crying. My anger got the best of me and before I could stop myself I was beating the fucking brakes off of my eight month pregnant baby mom.
“Kasan stop you're gonna hurt the baby!” she screamed, snapping me back into reality. Looking at the damage I caused, I instantly felt like shit. I let my anger get the best of me and if my mom knew what the fuck I had just did she would kill me.
“Damn my bad Keisha,” I said lifting her up. I carried her to her bedroom, gently placing her in her bed. I wanted to stay but I knew I couldn't, she brought a nigga outta character, yeah that was some fucked up shit she did, but I feel real fucked up about handling her like that
“Are you going to kill me?” she asked as I headed to the door.
“Naw I'm not, but I can't speak for her father,” I said closing her bedroom door. I was caught between the love of my life and my seed. As much as I loved Shante I couldn't kill Keisha, not even after she has my child, I refuse to be the reason my child is motherless. I didn't know what I was going to do or how I would hide this from my family but I had to make this shit work. Leaving Keisha’s house, I rushed to the hospital to spend time with my Tae baby. Walking into her room, everyone who loved her was present, Mark, Camille, my mother, Shana, R.J. and Carlos.
“Hey Unc,” R.J. said dapping me.
“Sup lil nigga.”
“Chilling and maintaining,” he said causing me to laugh. I swear R.J. was a cool ass lil nigga.
“Hey mama,” I said kissing her forehead.
“Hey baby, where were you?” my mother asked.
“Went to the hotel to handle business.”
“Ok well I missed you son. I know this is a lot to handle but don't isolate yourself, we need to stick together.”
“I missed you too ma and I will do better,” I said kissing her forehead.
“Awwww ain't y’all cute,” Mark said laughing.
“Fuck you nigga!” I whispered.
“Ohhhhhhh Aunt Betty you heard what he said!”
“Yo you still a snitch nigga huh.”
“You better watch ya damn mouth boy,” my mama said slapping me upside my head.
“Aww damn!” I said laughing. We joked and laughed, even Carlos and Shana seemed to be getting along.
“Ma, grandpa taking me to get some candy,” R.J. said with a smile.
“Boy sit down that nigga ain't ya damn granddaddy,” Shana said with an attitude.
“But he said I could call him that,” R.J. said.
“What I tell you though?” Shana asked.
“Don't call him that,” R.J. said walking away upset. Damn Shana wasn't playing no fucking games, she couldn't stand Carlos’ ass and she wasn't afraid to let that nigga know it.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he asked.
“You are my problem!”
“State your issue so we can move on,” he said grabbing a chair.
“You got my mom strung out on drugs and then kicked us out of your home. After that, me and Angel were raped and abused repeatedly and even Shante was touched on!” Shana said as tears came down her face.
“What are you talking about?”
“We thought of you as our father, how could you just abandon us like that!” she said slapping his ass in the face.
“You keep your fucking hands to yourself God damnit!”
“Fuck you!” she screamed causing R.J. to jump.
<
br /> “Imma take this boy downstairs, he don't need to see this!” my mother said walking out with R.J.
While they were arguing Shante’s water pitcher flew straight across the room. Our eyes landed on Shante, she looked so fragile and weak but she was awake. She stared at Shana and Carlos with so much disappointment in her eyes it caused both of them to put their heads down in shame. Rushing over to Shante I placed kisses all over her beautiful face. I wanted to hear her voice but with the tube and ventilator still down her throat it was impossible.
