Midnight Soul (Fantasyland #5)

by Kristen Ashley

  Ulk.

  Though I’d find ways to be good without being boring (I hoped).

  “I will,” I promised.

  “Write me,” he went on.

  “I already promised that,” I reminded him.

  He behaved like I didn’t even speak.

  “And when the green mist clears, baby, we’re gonna have a fuckin’ blast.”

  I wanted that. I was very much looking forward to going to his world, especially these last few days after I’d shared I’d made the decision that I would and he’d explained much more about his world and what would be awaiting Josette and I there.

  I wanted it more now because it would mean Josette and my adventure would finally begin and Noc and my separation would be over.

  “Yeah?” he prompted when I said nothing.

  “Yes, Noc,” I replied dutifully.

  He pressed his forehead into mine before he pulled away, looked down out my window and murmured, “It’s time.”

  I drew in a sharp breath at the sharp pain those words caused but tried to hide it as I cast my gaze in the same direction to see he spoke true.

  And unfortunately Josette was outside, cloaked and ready to go, peering up at the palace in the direction of my room.

  If I didn’t move, she would be forced to run up to fetch me. A waste of time and energy.

  Thus I put one hand to the window, pulled slightly away from Noc, waved to her with my other and pointed down, indicating in a way I hoped she read that I would be right down.

  She waved back, hopped twice on her boots and then whirled, causing an outward waft of her new, lovely cranberry wool cloak that was lined with sunshiny-gold rabbit fur.

  Her new clothes were perfection not only because they suited her, but because she made no bones about the fact she was enjoying having them.

  Although, according to Noc, she wouldn’t be able to wear them in our new world when we got there.

  This mattered not. I was screamingly rich. I’d buy her another wardrobe in just months’ time and I’d delight in it.

  It was a shock but it couldn’t be denied, acts of generosity felt very, very good.

  On this thought, Noc drew me away from the window, my hand in his still held to his chest, but my arm was now tucked to his side as he led me out of the room.

  Apparently, what needed to be said had been said. We were both quiet as we walked down the hall toward the stairs.

  I found my feet lagging, Noc’s doing the same, and the silence became uncomfortable as we made our way down the stairs.

  And as we walked across the grand entry, I had to force myself to put one foot in front of the other rather than drag them or come to a stop entirely, and the silence had become heavy with melancholy.

  “Gods, I’ve grown maudlin,” I declared, staring at the door and only faintly sensing a footman coming forward with my cloak and hat.

  “Yeah, goodbyes suck,” Noc agreed.

  He let me go so I could accept my cloak on my shoulders and he awarded me with a cheeky grin when I’d pulled my hat over my forehead.

  “Dr. Zhivago,” he whispered.

  “I beg your pardon?” I asked, yanking on my gloves.

  “Straight up, would seem impossible, but you’re a fuckuva lot more gorgeous even than Julie Christie,” he continued whispering. “And you don’t know it, sweetheart, but that’s saying something.”

  Through his words I’d grown solid. I had no idea to whom he was referring, but his tone and the look on his face made the depth of his compliment sparklingly clear.

  This meant I did something I’d never done in my life.

  In an effort not to be overwhelmed with the emotion I was feeling, I swatted his arm like a spoiled child or a flirting debutante and accused, “You’re making this more difficult.”

  “My apologies,” he said through a smile, taking hold of me again and heading us toward the front doors that footmen were opening for us, going on to say, “Let’s get your ass in that sleigh.”

  Noc guided us out into the glorious cold only for me to find myself at the bottom of the palace steps having additional new pleasantly unpleasant experiences.

  These being bidding adieu to Queen Aurora, Dax Lahn, Circe, Finnie, Frey, Tor and Cora, all people I would not again see, not soon, and perhaps (especially in the case of Circe and Lahn), not ever.

  This meant for some unfathomable reason, in getting (and giving) many public hugs, the one I had with Circe was the longest.

  And it felt good as well as bad, both coming from the fact it wasn’t only me who seemed not to wish to let go.

  “Say hey to the other Circe for me,” she said in my ear.

  “This I’ll do,” I promised.

  “And don’t be hard on yourself like you’re so good at being,” she instructed. “The crap time is over. Now’s your time to let go and have fun.”

  “Of course,” I replied, wishing to do as she instructed, but knowing from experience it would not be easy as the women had now been telling me this for some time. “As for you, I wish you a pleasant pregnancy, ease of birth and much joy when that bundle arrives.”

  She pulled away but didn’t let me go to inform me, “The birth couldn’t be worse than the last. Then again, I shouldn’t say stuff like that or I might jinx myself.”

  Jinx?

  I didn’t ask.

  I just gave her a small smile.

  She gave me a big, bright one and finally let me go.

  I could now say that holding affection for others, and having that returned, was quite a lovely feeling, going so far as admitting I treasured it, them, all of them (even Lahn, who was daunting but he could be quite amusing and gentle, both definitely endearing).

  I could also now say that it had severe drawbacks for I had never, not once, lingered in leaving a place at all, but certainly not because I was saddened to leave the people there behind.

  Noc had given me my first hug and he also came in to give me the last before he held my hand and (unnecessarily, but I did not pull away…oh no, I did not) steadied me as I made my way into my sleigh beside Josette who was already seated, ensconced under the furs.

  “See you soon,” he told me softly once I, too, was under the furs.

  I looked into his blue eyes.

  It would not be soon.

  It would be too bloody long.

  “Yes, soon,” I agreed.

  He leaned in. I held my breath. He kissed my nose. I let my breath go.

  He moved away and did it decisively, shutting the door to the sleigh behind us.

  “Ready?” Kristian called.

  I tore my gaze from Noc moving away to nod to my brother.

  He nodded back, turned ahead, snapped his reins and shouted, “Heeyah!”

  I leaned forward and grabbed our reins from the hook in front of us and followed suit.

  I didn’t wish to do anything inane such as wave or gaze lingeringly behind me for I knew all too well what either would communicate.

  So I didn’t wave and I didn’t look behind me, my gaze lingering on Noc.

  Instead, I looked behind me and waved once with a flick of my raised hand to indicate my final farewell to them all.

  But I did this with my eyes locked to Noc.

  He lifted his hand back.

  I felt my throat get thick.

  It was then I turned away and stared resolutely at the back of my brother’s sleigh, thinking I should have asked to have Timofei in our sleigh with us, not only because I enjoyed my nephew’s company, but also because he would be a pleasant distraction.

  “You’re taken with him,” Josette said as we left the Winter Palace behind.

  “Mm…” I murmured.

  “As in, everyone knows you’re taken with him, but the truth is, you’re very taken with him,” she went on.

  “Mm…” I repeated.

  “As in, no one knew if we’d ever be away, you having to say goodbye to him and he to you,” she stated. “Everyone suspected such
an event would take hours, even days, or longer.”

  I looked to her. “There was talk of this?”

  “I think it was Princess Cora who said something like there was a good chance Master Noc would drag you by your hair up to his bedroom and if that occurred they wouldn’t see either of you for weeks.”

  Alas, that did not happen.

  And truth be told, I doubted it ever would.

  I struggled with, but could not deny, I was attracted to him.

  His feelings in return were genuine and warm.

  But not once had he ever given indication they were anything more.

  I turned my attention back to where we were heading. This, I determined in that moment, would be my focus. Look only where I was heading. One minute to the next. One hour to the next. One day to the next.

  And hopefully before we knew it, our true adventure would begin.

  That adventure including being back with Noc.

  For even if I had him only as my first real friend (outside, strictly, Josette, that was), my feelings for him were such I’d take that.

  I’d take anything to have Noc.

  Josette reached out and touched my wrist briefly. “We’ll be with him again soon.”

  “Yes, we will,” I agreed and snapped the reins, for Kristian had done the same and was going faster.

  Although I’d agreed, I knew it would not be soon enough.

  * * * * *

  Ten days later

  “It’s your crystal ball.”

  I stared with some distaste at the large, shining crystal sphere sitting on its bed of sapphire velvet that Valentine had just presented to me.

  A crystal ball.

  How cliché.

  Was this really what magic was about?

  Disappointing.

  “There will be many implements you’ll acquire to assist you in brandishing the magic you have inside you. You’ll find your way with all of them. You’ll find your favorite. This,” Valentine indicated the crystal, “is mine.”

  I looked from her back to the globe.

  Well, this was my journey. This was who I was. And one could not say I wasn’t utterly delighted to experience the minimal magical experiences I’d had and the time I’d spent with my sister-witches.

  In other words, I needed to keep an open mind.

  Therefore, I lifted my hand and did so only to touch the cool glass.

  When I did, a frisson of pleasure started at the small of my back and chased itself up my spine, over my shoulder, down my arm and through my fingertips, and inside the crystal ball I saw a wisp of the most beautifully-hued azure rise of smoke inside it.

  Everything about me grew warm, inside and out.

  Never, outside the color of Noctorno Hawthorne-of-the-other-world’s eyes, had I seen anything so exquisite.

  “Indeed,” Valentine murmured. “You’re a natural.”

  I stared at the smoke curling and suddenly had the uncanny desire to wrap my arms around that shining orb and hold it to me close, warm it with my body, memorize the feel of it against my breast.

  I couldn’t deny it.

  Even as cliché as it was.

  I’d fallen in love.

  * * * * *

  Two weeks later

  “Oh. My. That’s quite interesting.”

  I spoke these words and continued to look in my crystal ball as I did, delighted I’d learned this very useful skill from Valentine.

  I was right then watching the Dax Lahn of the other world. He was wearing clothing that was unusual, but not unattractive. His hair was short, cut to a length it curled around his collar. And he didn’t have a beard. But there was no mistaking he was as his twin by the forbidding look on his face.

  “Is he angry?” I asked.

  It took a few moments to realize I did not receive a reply.

  I looked to Valentine who was sitting with me but her eyes were distant and aimed at the carved leg holding up the table.

  “Valentine,” I called, and her attention came to me, then to my crystal.

  She looked back to me. “It seems you’ve mastered that.”

  I had. It wasn’t difficult.

  It was, strangely, second nature.

  As Valentine instructed, all I had to do was what I’d always done in the little experimentation I’d attempted.

  Tap into the current that was continuously vibrating through me, allow the quickening, and for crystal ball gazing, simply send out to the ether what I wished to see. Then, with a swirl of sapphire smoke, it appeared.

  “I have,” I replied, wishing to whisk away the other world Lahn from my orb and conjure up visions of Noc, who would undoubtedly have set sail on Frey’s galleon by now and be nearly to Hawkvale, if not already there.

  But this I would not do. It would be intrusive. I would not wish someone watching me without my knowledge. Thus I would not do that to Noc, as much as I wanted to see his face, share in his adventure, even if I had to do it gazing in a crystal ball.

  Valentine made no reply and again seemed distracted, something that was out of character for her.

  From the moment we’d arrived in Älvkyla two weeks ago, she’d attended me six times.

  In those times, I’d learned what an astral plane was. I’d learned how to put myself in a trance to travel along it in order to communicate with her as well as Lavinia. I’d been given my crystal ball and taught how to use it. I’d learned how to focus my thoughts (through chanting in my head, this Valentine shared was casting spells) and my power in order to move small objects, at first lifting them from where they lay, and advancing to moving them across the room to me.

  It was not slow going. I felt the instinct born, if not bred, in me, and Valentine sensed it as well.

  She was just teaching me how to manipulate it. She was teaching me how not to let it control me. She was also teaching me not to fear it.

  This last was important, for with each passing lesson, I felt the power rising in me and it would be easy for it to grow out of control.

  However, I was safe with Valentine. And I was safe with my power. I simply needed to become accustomed to it, nurture it…

  And wield it.

  In our other sessions, she’d always been fully engaged.

  Now she was not.

  “Is there something on your mind?” I asked.

  Her eyes tipped to me. “Perhaps our session will be short today,” she replied, not, I noted, answering my question.

  This I found annoying.

  And oddly insulting.

  “Are you my sister?” I requested to know rather abruptly.

  “Of course,” she replied immediately.

  I nodded. “I do sense we have somewhat of a kindred spirit. I’m independent and had to be due to life circumstances. You’re quite the same for reasons you haven’t shared and do not need to if you don’t wish. What I wish is to make certain you know, should you need to discuss anything, I’m not only here to be trained. I’m here to offer anything you need of me, and you’ll have it if I can give it.”

  Her distraction cleared, she studied me closely and came to a decision.

  “You know I wish to maneuver the Circe in my world to be with the Dax of that world,” she stated.

  “I do,” I confirmed.

  “And you know both Circes are witches, quite powerful ones,” she went on.

  “I know that as well.”

  “Thus, Circe sensed my preliminary operations and blocked them.”

  “Ah,” I murmured, seeing her issue and hoping I, too, would sense it if someone was meddling in my life.

  “I have made some further efforts, she’s still blocking me,” Valentine shared.

  I didn’t quite understand.

  “You can’t find this surprising,” I noted.

  “It isn’t. But it’s frustrating, for this will undoubtedly mean two things. One, any interference I, and it is my hope that will be a we, wish to conduct will have to occur not through your training, as I’d h
oped, but when we return to my world, which will mean a delay I don’t much like.”

  “And?” I prompted when she said no more.

  “And such interference will need to happen traditionally.”

  I arched my brow. “Traditionally?”

  “By means of…” her lip curled, “non-magical matchmaking.”

  I didn’t try to swallow the amused chuckle that came through my lips.

  Valentine didn’t find it humorous.

  She stated, “It’s common.”

  “My dear sister,” I whispered, feeling my lips remain curved as I held her eyes. “It is not common. Not the way I do it. I’ve made many a match, in the past doing it in order to amuse myself by severing the results of such efforts at a later date. But this…” I kept smiling. “An intrigue. One I can look forward to. And I do. I very much do. And I can promise you, you will too.”

  One could not say this made me happy.

  One could say this made me utterly ecstatic.

  I could continue with my plotting and schemes.

  But in doing so, I could do it for entirely different reasons, which I knew by witnessing the other world Lahn in my crystal, would be far more fulfilling.

  I did not think of Noc’s tryst with Circe. I hadn’t mentioned it. He hadn’t mentioned it. No one had mentioned it and I found I could handle it that way.

  What I could not do was think about what might happen when we were all together again in the same city in another world.

  So I didn’t think about it.

  “It would seem when we reach our world, the teacher will become the student,” Valentine remarked.

  “You will enjoy my lessons,” I declared proudly. “Not as much as I’m enjoying the fruits of yours, but you will enjoy them. That I promise.”

  Finally, Valentine’s preoccupation gone, she smiled.

  “Now, let us study this man,” I suggested, using my hand to indicate my crystal. “We’ll need to know as much about him as we can so we’ll be prepared the moment I arrive in the other world.”

  “This study will not be difficult.”

  “He has no magic to block our regard?” I asked.

  “No, he’s highly easy to watch,” Valentine answered.

  To that, I smiled before we both turned to my sphere.

  And we watched.