When Our Worlds Stand Still

by Lindsey Iler

  “She got me candy. A lot of candy,” Ben explains, showing off his loot of candy bars and suckers. His bright smile is hard to resist, and I let the abundance of candy slide.

  “You won’t have any teeth if you eat all those candy bars.” I give him one of those stares I remember receiving from my mother when I was his age.

  “Dad says that’s a lie.” Ben grins.

  I can only laugh. It’s typical of Graham, giving into anything Ben wants. Ever since we started the process of fostering to adopt, Graham’s been incapable of telling Ben no. Not in a disciplinary way, no, Graham’s mastered the art of being stern but fair when it comes to Ben. It’s more in the sense of never denying him the pleasure of candy once in a while, or the joy of opening a new toy. This alone explains the overflowing toy room in the house.

  The last two years have been a whirlwind of an experience. During Graham’s junior year, he was drafted into the Yankees farm team. Coach Boone played a big part in Graham’s success, always pushing and enforcing extra practice. He gave Graham a level of confidence on the mound I never knew he could reach. Betty was the one who gave him the confidence off the field, though. After the fire, she had no choice but to endorse Graham as a future match for Ben. No one will ever possibly love the boy, besides me, quite like my husband.

  “I’ll never get used to that on your finger,” my dad whispers from beside me. I hold my left hand up and twist the band until the two align. “All those years ago, who knew the boy sneaking in your bedroom window would be capable of making all your dreams come true.”

  The all too-familiar ache forms in my chest. “Dad.” All the anxiety of the day lives within the tears falling down my cheeks.

  He wraps me in his arms. “It’s okay to be overwhelmed. You two have had a busy few years. Speaking of busy.” He reaches around me and sweeps Ben up in his arms. He’s getting too big to hold like that, so I understand my dad’s need to soak him up.

  “This is it. All of it,” I whisper to myself, running my fingers through Ben’s hair.

  “Mom, there’s Dad,” Ben shouts, pointing out onto the field. Not a day will go by where I don’t understand the importance of being called Mom by him.

  The title holds a great weight, a weight I don’t feel worthy of some days. After Graham and I flirted with the idea of adoption, I had to dig deep and truly understand what it would mean. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my own hang ups, but when I look over at Ben as he laughs at my dad making silly faces, all of that melts away.

  My husband takes his rightful spot behind the mound. A small patch of dirt in the middle of a pristinely cut lawn means everything to the man I love. As if he senses my eyes on him, he turns from the outfield and scans the packed crowd. When he finally finds us, he winks, telling me he’s feeling the same things I am.

  We made it. We survived.

  The National Anthem is belted out, and the buzz of the crowd amplifies to torturous levels. The players fidget on the field in a single line, eager to start the game. Graham’s glove is tucked under his arm, and his right hand is securely over his heart, gripping his hat. As the emotion-packed song fades, he pops his hat on and steps on the mound with his head held high.

  “Why’d you bring your camera?” Ben asks.

  I smile at his always curious nature. Graham stands on the mound, circling the ball in his grasp, aligning the thread with his fingers.

  “A long time ago, I fell in love with your dad through a camera lens, kiddo.”

  Through the eye of my camera, I watch Graham the entire nine innings. After all this time, it’s still hard to look away. His desire is found every time the ball dances from his hand. This is where he rules. This is his kingdom.

  I think back to freshman year, inside the school and outside on the baseball field. All these years later, and there still isn’t a good enough reason to look away from someone like Graham. The best part is, I’m not the only one who knows it now.

  We might not have gotten to this place if either of us made different choices along the way. If I hadn’t walked down the dirt road. If Graham hadn’t transferred to Connecticut. If I wouldn’t have walked into his house on prom night. If he’d never snuck in my window all those nights. All of these tiny, but large decisions have led us here. They’ve led me here, a ring on my finger, and a sweet, tenderhearted boy who calls me Mom.

  None of this life has been easy, but I believe the difficult parts are sort of the whole point. The only easy thing in my life thus far has been choosing Graham to love.

  He’ll always be the easiest choice.

  If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, please contact the national sexual assault hotline 800.656.HOPE

  Please know you aren’t alone.

  Other Works by Lindsey:

  When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)

  When Our Worlds Fall Apart (Our Worlds #2)

  To reach Lindsey:

  Facebook

  Goodreads

  Email

  This book, beyond all the rest, has been the most exciting and nerve wracking to write. I wanted to be certain I had done the right thing by Graham and Kennedy, and I hope you are happy with where their journey took them.

  I need to start by saying thank you to the readers. You encourage me to write these stories. Your enthusiasm for Graham and Kennedy has no limits. You are tenacious and hopeful, so thank you for keeping your faith with them.

  A major high five and thank you to the bloggers. You take time out of your day to post and promote for all of us indie authors. You have no idea how much I appreciate you.

  To Cassy, my cover designer, and Wendi, my formatter, you guys are mind blowing amazing. You work until it’s perfect and the finish product wouldn’t be what it is without you.

  Katie, my editor, I can’t thank you enough. I feel like all I do is thank you and it still doesn’t feel like I’ve said it as many times as you deserve. You believed in Graham and Kennedy the second you read the beginning of their story. Thank you for following me through their journey. You push and teach me something new with every book and the knowledge is irreplaceable.

  To my parents and sister, you have believed in me from the very second I said I wanted to be an author. You’ve always pushed me in the direction of my dreams and because of that, I’ve had the courage to follow them.

  To my husband, what can I say, but thank you. You are the love of my life. The reason Graham and Kennedy found each other in high school is because that’s where I found you. First loves can sometimes be last loves.

  Lindsey Iler is the author of the Our Worlds series. She’s had her feet planted in the state of Michigan since she was born and she still lives there with her husband and three kids.

  When she’s not writing (which should be all the time, so if she’s not you have permission to yell at her), she’s spending time with family and friends, listening to music, reading (obviously!), and hopefully enjoying every moment in life. She has a twisted sense of humor, tends to speak honestly, and her mind tends to feel most comfortable in the gutter.

  Lindsey writes mature young adult/new adult contemporary romance. She falls in love with every character that pops into her head and is notorious for writing long chapters in her notes on her iPhone (It is sort embarrassing how many started/unfinished projects are on that thing). She finds the most of her inspiration from music and the people around her.