Betrayal of the Band

by Sarah Tipton

Mom shrugged. “Yeah, but I think it’s more about being on TV than dating the man. Though there’s still hope that you might be a success story.”

  “Would you go on a show like that?”

  “Ha! No. I’m smart enough to know I don’t want to compete with a dozen other women.” She snagged a fry. “No man is worth that.”

  “Not even me?”

  “I hope you’re smart enough to know that love won’t be found on reality television.”

  He had no clue where love could be found. Mom hadn’t proven she did either. Sawyer gnawed on a chicken strip and watched one group of women on TV prepare for a date and another group lounge by a pool. “Does going to the movies with a girl automatically make it a date?”

  “No.” Mom twisted to face him. “Why?”

  He shrugged.

  “Did you go to the movies Monday with a girl?” She stretched out the words, eyes twinkling.

  “Yeah.”

  “And I’d assumed you went with Justin and Zoey. It didn’t occur to me that you might have other friends.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Other girl friends.”

  “Stop it.”

  She tucked a lock of pale blonde hair behind her ear, her face turning serious again. “But it wasn’t a date?”

  Sawyer shook his head. “She had a car and offered to ditch the youth mixer with me.”

  “You’re so my kid.” Mom’s voice was a tangle of helplessness and regret. “Why’d you go if you didn’t plan to stay?”

  “Justin kind of forced me into it.” Going into details would risk bringing up Zoey.

  “OK, so was it a date?” Her mouth twisted into a knot. “You didn’t pay for this girl’s ticket, buy her popcorn, hold her hand, or kiss her, did you?”

  “No. Why would I pay for her? She had money.”

  “Someday, I hope you understand why.” She stole another fry. “But if you didn’t do any of those things, she probably doesn’t think it’s a date. Unless, of course, she likes you and wanted it to be.”

  He groaned.

  “So she likes you?” Mom chuckled sounding more amused by Sawyer’s reality than reality TV. “Sounds like you’ve got yourself a problem.”

  “Thanks.”

  She turned her attention back to the TV snickering under her breath.

  “It’s not funny,” he growled.

  “Yes, it is. You want my advice?”

  “I don’t know.” Her advice was often a joke, like when she told him that jumping off the roof with a bed sheet would be as thrilling as skydiving. Luckily, he hadn’t broken any bones.

  “Women—girls—we tend to overanalyze things. A gesture, a look, a smile might mean nothing, but often we hope it means something. Unless it’s an old guy who needs better dental hygiene. Then we hope we’ve misread the signals until that day when he—” Her eyes widened as if she’d just remembered who she was talking to. “Never mind about that.”

  “Maybe you should avoid serving creepy old guys,” he said.

  “Believe me, I try.” She shuddered. “Anyway, back to your problem. This girl—what’s her name?”

  “Felicia.”

  “Felicia probably hopes that going to the movies with you was a date, and if you don’t want her thinking that, you’ll have to tell her it wasn’t.”

  “Can’t I just ignore her until she figures it out?”

  “You can try, but that may take a lot longer.”

  The list of unanswered texts on his phone proved Mom’s point.

  “Next time you find yourself asking a girl to the movies or something, think about whether you want her thinking it’s a date or not.” Mom returned to TV viewing.

  Sawyer shoved the rest of the fries into his mouth. The dating show was stupid, but it made the process simpler. The women came to the guy, and he was free to send them home, one at a time, until only the woman he wanted remained. Sawyer would probably end up sending them all home. “Women are a pain.”

  “Watch it.” Mom elbowed him. “Men aren’t any better.”

  “I’m going to be thirty and still living with you, aren’t I?”

  “And I’ll be almost fifty, still living with you. Depressing, isn’t it?”

  “Almost as depressing as being seventeen and watching this with my mommy.” He shot her a grin.

  “You look so much like your dad.” Her return smile seemed sad. “There’s no way you’ll still be living with me at thirty.”

  Was that a compliment? She rarely mentioned his dad. Sawyer probably wouldn’t know his dad’s name was Toby Sawyer if he hadn’t been named for him and Mom didn’t have the name tattooed across her left shoulder blade.

  He shoved off the couch. “I’m going to my room.”

  “Keep the music down, OK? You may not find this show entertaining, but I do. And I’m two weeks behind.”

  Sawyer waved his hand in agreement. In his room, he pulled shoeboxes of CDs from under his bed, searching for something to match his mood.

  Minor keys. Melancholy rock.

  He stuck the CD in the player punching the volume down.

  He grabbed a pair of sticks and drummed along against his desk, his chair, his chest of drawers trying to straighten his thoughts, but everything collided inside his head. What would he do about Felicia? Zoey? Justin?

  He couldn’t concentrate on one question, forget about finding an answer. Drumming harder, he sorted through his mom’s advice. Tell Felicia what? To leave him alone? And if going to the movies meant he was dating Felicia, what did Zoey think the kiss meant?

  One of the sticks snapped in half and flew into the air.

  Yep, that summed things up. No matter the answer, that would be the result—everything snapping to pieces.

  His phone buzzed with another text from Felicia.

  R U going to devo tmrrw?

  He stared at the screen. Answering would encourage her, but maybe there was something worse. Like kissing his best friend’s girlfriend.

  Yes.

  Almost immediately, she responded.

  Good. R U busy now?

  Sawyer flopped back onto his bed. They could talk without it meaning anything more, right? Anyway, if he talked to her, she’d probably lose interest in him. Most girls did.

  His phone vibrated in his hand.

  It would be a long night.

  17

  War is Over

  “You have practice tonight?” Justin asked Zoey over the phone Thursday afternoon. He leaned against the wall outside the playroom, half-listening to Tristan’s play noises.

  “No. Vance and Devin have to work.”

  “Then you’ll be at the devo? It’s here. My house.”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

  A muted crash, plastic-on-plastic, sounded, and Justin peeked around the corner. Tristan stood in the middle of the room building a tower of clear plastic containers. No catastrophes.

  “Can you come early?” Justin ducked back into the hall. “We can practice together, like on Sunday.”

  “Sure.” He heard the smile in her voice.

  Ka-dunk. Ka-dunk. Another crash, this time followed by a wail.

  “I’ve gotta go. I love you.” He headed into the playroom listening for Zoey to echo his words.

  She hesitated. “Yeah, me too,” she said and disconnected.

  Justin didn’t have time to question Zoey’s delayed response. Tristan lay on the floor, a half dozen plastic bins scattered around him.

  “You OK, buddy?” Justin shoved the phone into his pocket and lifted his crying brother. “What happened? Were you climbing on the bins?”

  Tristan hiccuped and nodded.

  “You know you’re not supposed to do that.”

  Tristan sniffled and squirmed to get down.

  “No more building towers to climb, ’kay?”

  “’Tay.” Tristan nodded, and Justin set him on his feet.

  Sitting on the couch, Justin kept an eye on his brother. Tristan carried toys to Justin, and a random collectio
n grew on the cushion.

  Justin shouldn’t read anything into Zoey’s hesitation. She wasn’t as quick as he was to say “I love you” anyway. It didn’t mean anything, just like Mom asking him to babysit for the fourth time in a week didn’t mean anything. At least she’d taken Savannah with her today, so she couldn’t be meeting anyone.

  He needed to concentrate on tonight. Before the devo, he’d force Sawyer and Zoey to work out their problems. Watching one run out the garage when the other arrived was annoying. Soon, Sawyer and Zoey might try to avoid each other by never coming over. Then what would he do?

  Justin flipped a pick through his fingers. The three of them were still a band. They needed to act like it.

  Babysitting Tristan trapped Justin inside most of the afternoon, but after Savannah and Mom returned from the store, the guitars called from the garage, and he couldn’t resist.

  For two hours, Justin practiced on his own, the music changing with his thoughts.

  Would Sawyer leave when he saw Zoey? Minor chords. Or would Sawyer attack Zoey’s decision to sing with Aurora Fire? Allegro and crescendo. What if his plan blew up in his face? The notes blasted into every corner and slammed back into his ears. But what if it worked and everything returned to normal? Andante.

  Please, Lord, let me say the right things to get us playing again as a band.

  A shadow fell across the guitar, and he looked up.

  “Interesting song.” Zoey clutched her black bass case in two hands and bounced it off her thighs. She stood awkwardly, as if she wasn’t sure of what to do or how to act. As if she hadn’t been in this garage a thousand times.

  “I was just messing around.” He set his guitar aside.

  The garage door creaked open, and Savannah bounced out. “Zoey!” She threw her arms around Zoey’s waist. “You haven’t been here in forever.”

  “I was just here Sunday.” Zoey hugged her with one hand.

  “But I didn’t see you.” Savannah pulled back, grinning up at Zoey. “Guess what?”

  “What?” She set her case down.

  “I got these really sweet, pink skull earrings. Wanna see them?”

  Zoey glanced at Justin.

  He shrugged. He liked seeing Savannah and Zoey hanging out. Made Zoey a part of the family.

  “Real quick.” Zoey followed Savannah to the door. “I promised Justin we’d play before the devo.”

  They disappeared into the house, and some of the tension eased from Justin’s shoulders. Zoey belonged here. So did Sawyer. They’d eaten more meals, watched more movies, spent more hours at Justin’s house than Justin had at their houses combined. Sawyer and Zoey had to miss all that—Justin’s house, Justin’s family, Justin.

  He stepped onto the driveway and glanced down the street. Maybe he should intercept Sawyer, or he might turn around and bike home at the sight of Zoey’s car. His neck ached again. He returned to the garage and exchanged his acoustic guitar for the electric. His plan had to work. He plugged into the amp and heard the dull thump of Sawyer’s bike falling against the grass. Justin put the guitar down and walked outside.

  “She’s here?” Sawyer jerked a thumb at Zoey’s car.

  “Yeah.”

  Sawyer swore under his breath and swung his foot at the bike wheel.

  “Don’t say that.”

  “I’m outta here.” Sawyer bent over and grabbed the handlebars.

  “Don’t.” Justin grabbed the warm metal bar. “You’ve got to get over your problem with Zoey. How are we going to play together again if you two won’t stay in the same room?”

  Sawyer stared at the ground, his knuckles turning white.

  Justin dragged his hand through his hair. This wasn’t going well. “C’mon, Sawyer. It’s stupid to keep picking on her.”

  Sawyer raised his head. He swallowed, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “You don’t know what you’re doing.” He let the bike crash to the ground and stomped into the garage.

  What was with the drama? At least Sawyer was staying, but that didn’t stop the knots across Justin’s shoulders from tightening.

  Sawyer collapsed on the plaid couch as if he didn’t want to commit to practice by sitting at his drums. He tapped his feet against the concrete and avoided Justin’s gaze.

  The door to the house opened. Zoey stepped out, and her grin vanished. “You’re here.” Her voice sounded flat and almost scared.

  Justin’s stomach clenched echoing the emotions on Zoey’s face. What was going on? Was it more than Sawyer’s anger over Zoey’s decision? No, couldn’t be. Sawyer and Zoey wouldn’t even hang out together if it wasn’t for Justin and their band.

  “Your boyfriend has arranged an intervention or something.” Sawyer locked his gaze on Zoey, eyebrows lifting as if sending her a silent message.

  “Guys. I’m tired of this.” Justin looked at his friends—the two people who understood and shared his love for music. They needed this as much as he did. “We’re a band, and we need to play. So get over it, Sawyer. Zoey’s only with Aurora Fire for the summer. She can still practice with us, and when senior year starts, we can all focus on music. Stop beating her up about it.”

  Sawyer stared at Justin a moment before raising his hands in surrender. “OK, fine, I’m over it.” He looked hard at Zoey. “It shouldn’t have happened, but it doesn’t matter now.”

  Zoey flinched and glanced away.

  Justin looked from Zoey to Sawyer back to Zoey. What was he missing? “Can we play now?”

  Shoving her hands into her back pockets, Zoey looked at him. “Yeah, OK.”

  “Good.” His stomach unclenched, and he stepped toward her, but she turned away. He glanced at Sawyer.

  “Whatever.” Sawyer stood and walked to the drums.

  “And you’ll stay and practice after the devo, like usual?”

  “Like nothing ever happened.” Sawyer clunked down on the stool, raised his sticks, and grinned like a deranged sock monkey.

  That had been easy. Thank you, Lord.

  Justin picked up his electric guitar and began tuning along with Zoey. Everything was back to normal with the three of them here playing. Almost. And as long as they kept playing together, all other problems would fade.

  18

  New Way to Bleed

  “Judas and Peter betrayed their best friend.” Brandon led the devo from his seat on a couch in Justin’s living room. “But their responses to that mistake were very different.”

  Zoey sat on the floor hugging her knees, and tried to ignore Brandon. Betrayal. A kiss. Denials. All topics Zoey struggled to avoid every minute of every hour of every day. But she failed.

  “Judas saw no hope of redemption. Peter, however, when confronted with his failure, sought forgiveness and found it. Forgiveness is always offered.”

  Brandon’s words slipped into Zoey’s ears. Was that true? She glanced at Justin sitting next to her. Would he offer forgiveness?

  Sawyer sat on Justin’s other side, and he caught her eye with the same hard look he’d given her earlier in the garage. She shivered as if she was underdressed in below-freezing January.

  Didn’t Sawyer feel the same crushing guilt? She wanted their band and relationships and lives to go back to normal too. But how could life be normal if they kept such a huge secret?

  “Let’s close in prayer.” Brandon lowered his head.

  She closed her eyes. God, should I tell Justin? Like Sawyer says, it was just a mistake. It didn’t mean anything. So Justin would forgive us, right? Oh God, what am I supposed to do?

  “Amen.”

  Her eyes snapped open.

  Justin stood and held out a hand to help her stand. He smiled as if everything was normal. As if he loved her.

  That smile wrapped around Zoey’s heart like the noose around Judas’s neck. She needed to be somewhere—anywhere—else. She scrambled to her feet and pushed against the crowd headed for the kitchen. Could she lock herself in the bathroom for the next hour? Probably not. But maybe she could
hide for a while in Mr. Conrad’s study. She darted into the room across the hall from the bathroom.

  Mr. Conrad’s home office was neat and organized, unlike Dad’s at home. Dad kept stacks of papers and file folders looking like miniature leaning towers of Pisa on the desk, the floor, the chairs, the windowsills. Mr. Conrad had only a computer and a cup of pens on his desk. Shelves lined one wall with books grouped by subject. An entire section was dedicated to marriage.

  How to Repair a Relationship After Infidelity and Now Our Marriage Is Broken, How Do We Fix It? stood on one row. Below were Rekindling the Spark in Your Romance and Making the Light of Your Life Shine. To tell or not to tell, what did the experts advise? She pulled Life After The Affair from the shelf.

  A quiet click of the door opening and loud talking from the living room invaded the office.

  She shoved the book back in place and spun around.

  “Sorry.” The new girl, the one with the diamond below her lip, peeked around the door. “This isn’t the bathroom.”

  “No.” Zoey’s heart raced as if she’d been caught hacking into Mr. Conrad’s computer, not innocently browsing his bookshelves. Her interest was anything but innocent. Zoey swallowed back the thought and emotions. “It’s across the hall.”

  “Yeah, on the right, not the left. Oops.” New girl glanced over her shoulder at the hall and stepped into the room. “Zoey, right?”

  “Yeah. You’re...Chey?”

  The girl nodded squinting at Zoey and wiggling her diamond stud. “You OK?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” A total lie. For a moment, she considered admitting the truth. She had no one to talk to. Livvy adored Justin, and Sawyer wanted to forget. Zoey was about to implode from locking up this secret.

  But Chey was a stranger, so Zoey focused on the flashing stud. Maybe she should pierce something other than her ears. Dad would let her, but Justin’s parents wouldn’t approve. Her changing hair color disturbed them enough.

  “Sweet band setup in the garage.” Chey wrapped her hands behind her back and leaned against the door.

  “Thanks.” Zoey searched for a topic to keep Chey in the room and keep away the obsessing. “You play anything?”

  “Cards?”

  Zoey laughed and relaxed in a way she hadn’t in days or maybe weeks.