by Bonnie Lamer
Chapter 11 – Xandra
“What do you want me to do?” I ask Ray.
He stares at me for a long moment and then he glances at Adriel. “We need a good explanation for what happened back there.”
Is he implying that he wants to lie? How un-Angel like of him. I’m going to go along with it though. “Do Angels get drunk?” I’ve used that excuse before except it was Fairy poison not alcohol that made me that way.
Ray chuckles. “We do enjoy our ambrosia from time to time but never to excess.”
That’s probably a good thing. I don’t think Raziel would be happy to come back to having the entire Angel population thinking he’s an alcoholic. “How about showing off for a pretty Angel. Would Raziel do that?” For some reason, I want the answer to be no. Which is really, really selfish of me since I am desperately wanting to be with Kallen.
Ray chuckles again but Adriel is suddenly uncomfortable as she says, “Archangels do not choose life mates amongst lower Angels.” My face folds into a frown. Even Angels have prejudices like that?
“That is most often the case, but it is not for the reason you are thinking Xandra,” Ray says. He still looks amused.
“Right,” I mumble.
“You have not truly grasped the power of an Archangel,” he says. “What happened back there was only a very small testament to the power we are able to wield.”
That’s a scary thought. “Why does that matter?”
“Archangels can decimate entire realms with a thought. We must use this power to keep everyone, everywhere on the correct path. We are not vengeful, but we must keep order and we dole out punishments when necessary. You have witnessed this. This makes choosing a life mate from those less powerful difficult. There is no equality in a relationship when there is such an unbalance in power. Archangels are often forced to make harsh decisions and leave personal feelings out of it. This can make us seem cold and uncaring. It is a lonely life but that is simply how it is. It would not be fair to burden others with our responsibilities.”
I guess I understand that. It would probably be hard for me to be with a human for the same reasons. Look what’s happened to Aunt Barb and Dad because of my magic. I couldn’t live with myself if I endangered anyone else. “Okay, then if I can’t say I have the hots for Adriel, what can I say?”
Ray chuckles. “The first thing you will need to do is change your manner of speech. Archangels do not have ‘the hots’ for someone.”
I roll my eyes. “You know what I mean. Back to my original question?”
“The truth is always the best answer, Xandra. You were angry and frustrated and you reacted with a show of strength. Unintentionally or not, that is what happened.”
I nod. “Yeah, it was. Do I have to explain why I was mad?”
“No,” he says. That was a pretty firm no. I guess Archangels aren’t required to explain themselves.
“What about the fact that I don’t know anything about living amongst the Angels? I didn’t know where this apple orchard was, I don’t know what that courtyard is attached to and I don’t know hardly anyone’s names. They’re going to notice little things like that.”
He gives me another long stare. I think he’s trying to decide if he’s going to say something or not. Finally, he sighs and says, "Since changing your destiny Raziel has been prone to brooding. He is a different Angel than he used to be. He is more sober, more private. No one will suspect anything is amiss if you behave as such.”
A syringe filled with guilt and shame plunges into my heart. I may not have made the choice, but I am certainly living out the rewards of it. I get to be happy. I get to be in love. I get everything. All Raziel gets is more unhappiness and loneliness. The worst part? I don’t think I’m capable of such selflessness. That’s a difficult thing to admit about myself.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. What is this? My head is going to split in two! The pain is like nothing I’ve ever imagined. It’s a hundred, no, a thousand times worse than anything I have ever felt with magic. Suddenly, my mind is flooded with images. They’re coming from everywhere. Each crack and recess in my brain has broken open and so much information is coming at me that I’m going to drown in it. I can’t breathe. I can’t process anything that I’m seeing. There’s too much. My mind can’t handle it. My heart can’t handle it. It’s beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings. I’m pretty sure I’m going to die. That’s the last thought of my own that I have.
Chapter 12 – Raziel
Her tone feral, Isla growls, “You are killing him.”
Immediately, I feel magic coming at me from both sides. Isla and Kallen are trying to help me push the magic back through me. After a brief struggle, it finally retreats. I am left gasping and holding my chest, still feeling the burn of the combined magic.
Isla rushes to the side of Garren. Dropping to her knees, she feels for his pulse and is relieved to find that he has one. Shaking him a little, she says his name. “Garren.”
After a moment, he opens one eye. “Isla, my love, you are as beautiful now as you have ever been.”
With a huff, Isla stands up. “I see you are well enough. We need to get this situation resolved so we can return to our realm. We have,” she looks at me briefly, “other problems that must be attended.” I am not used to being so unwelcome. It is humbling.
Garren pushes himself to a sitting position and rubs the back of his neck. His slightly graying hair is longer than most male Fairies where theirs. It gives him an adventurous look, as if he has more interesting things to do than worry about his hair. He is about as tall as Kallen with the same lithe muscular build and brilliant green eyes that have not faded with time. “Whoever you are young Fairy lass, you have quite the muscle behind your magic.”
“He is not a lass,” Kallen growls.
Garren is confused as he looks closer at me. “You appear to be female. I do not see how I have mistaken the fact.”
“This is not why we are here,” Isla interrupts curtly.
Garren shakes his head as he stands. Brushing dirt from his clothes, he says, “You will have to forgive me some day, Isla.”
I know that he is correct, but I will not tell her that. The expression on her face tells me that she would not believe me at the moment anyway. It really is good to know that not all of my knowledge is gone. Just anything directly relating to Xandra, myself and Kallen is.
“Do you know what the Goblins have done with Tabitha?” Kallen asks.
Garren looks him up and down. “You are the spitting image of your father and grandfather.”
“Yes, I know. Do you know where the Goblins have taken Tabitha?”
Garren chuckles. “But you have your grandmother’s temperament I see. I have an idea where she is, yes. But it will be tricky getting there.”
“Why?”
“Because we have to pass through the Lairs of the Lost.”
Ah, the place where the Dragons send their weak and old. They are sent to these lairs to die, but most do not perish quickly. They linger, becoming more bitter and merciless with each passing year. Not many are foolish enough to encroach on their lands.
“How do you suggest we proceed?” Kallen asks.
Garren walks to a table that is sitting next to the cavern wall. There is no other furniture in here so this is obviously not his main living quarters. On the table is a map and he begins pointing at landmarks. “We are here in the west lands. We must travel through the Lairs of the Lost here by Spokane Lake. Then we will journey north through the breeding grounds and past the Royal Guard of the Dragons. Then we will head east to the Land of the Free.”
Interesting they chose to call it that. As it is for all beings, free is a relative expression.
Chapter 13 – Xandra
I don’t know where I am because I am everywhere at once. That makes no sense, I know. But there is no other way to explain it. I’m in a fierce battle. There are battle axes and cannons and machine guns and stealth bombers all killing merci
lessly. I am with every baby ever born. I am in a grass hut and a medieval castle and a cotton field and a hospital watching the beginning of life. I am seeing every torture ever thought of played out on millions. I am seeing sunshine and happiness with creatures from every realm as their lives move along peacefully. I am also with them to share their harshest moments. Their soul-wrenching moments. As well as the moments of their greatest joys. I am seeing realms begin, realms destroyed and realms slowly dying off.
There is no pattern to what I’m seeing. I don’t know what to do with any of the emotions I am experiencing. I am laughing, crying, screaming in agony and sitting in contented silence. I feel everything and I feel nothing. The nothing that came before the realms were born and the pain of loss when they are all gone. Each new life makes my heart beat and every death makes it stop. I have finally found Hell.
Chapter 14 – Raziel
“It would be faster if we teleported,” Kallen says boring a hole through me with his eyes.
Garren guffaws. “Yes, lad, if only we could. Best we keep our ideas in the realm of the possible.”
Ignoring Garren, I say to Kallen, “You have seen my inability to control her magic. Would you truly feel safe teleporting at the moment?”
Garren’s brows furrow. “What are you talking about?”
“It is not your concern,” Isla says. Her voice resembles the stinger of a wasp. Pointed and pain seeking.
“Well then, if the three of you are done speaking nonsense, I suggest we get on our way. It will be nightfall in a few hours and the Dragons will have risen from their slumber.”
Dragons sleep during the day because their own internal furnaces keep them so hot; it is painful to be exposed to the heat of the sun. They are able to move about during the day. But most prefer not to do so.
Garren lifts a small leather bag from the floor and slings the strap over his shoulder. “This way,” he says and he leads us to a dark passage which illuminates with his magic. The way out is long and winding and we pass through several more open spaces but none that are living quarters. This is the perfect place to keep him safe if the Dragons decide they want him as a snack. They would never be able to get in here. By the time we reach the mouth of the cavern, our eyes are so used to the dim light that the bright light of the sun is blinding. Xandra’s eyes take more time to adjust than mine would have.
The Dragon realm is a robust realm. Everything is big. The trees are big, the caves are big, and the sky is big. Considering the average dragon is about fifteen feet tall, this is a good thing. There are storm clouds brewing to the south but there will be at least a few more hours of sunlight here. Unfortunately, the storms are bigger here as well.
Garren leads us along a well beaten path. He travels this way daily, trying to learn more about this realm and the inner workings of the Dragon mind. He believes the Dragons are honest with him; that they see him as a curious but harmless being. But the Dragons are slow to trust and they never trust outside of their own species. They are simply biding time until Garren has become enough of a nuisance or betrayer to justify eating him. Bringing strangers into their realm may be the catalyst for that as he must know. In private, the Dragons discuss what he would taste best with – a fattened and chilled baby Goblin or the smoky flavor of a charred adult marinated in the sap of an oak. As tempting as it is to tell him this, I will leave him to his fantasies a bit longer. Unless they start to pose a threat to the safety of our group. I will not let harm come to Xandra’s body. Nor to the Fairy she loves.
We follow in silence, none of us eager to alert those who inhabit the Lairs of the Lost to our presence. We will be upon this area shortly and our steps have become even quieter. We are a scant hundred yards from them when a splitting pain shoots through my head and causes me to stumble into a prickly shrub that is larger than Xandra’s small frame. The sound of breaking branches resonates through the air as I try to simultaneously free myself and keep my head from exploding with my hands. Neither is working well.
Raziel, help me. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m being torn in a million directions and my mind can’t take it. I think I’m dying. Xandra’s voice cuts through the pain and the agony in her words makes any concern for my pain nonexistent.
Xandra, please, please hold on. You are seeing what I see when I am in my true form. It is what I wanted to save you from, Love. I will find a way to reverse this if you can just hold on for a little longer. I will not let you die.
Xandra’s voice slips from my mind and a rough hand pulls me from the bushes. Kallen is towering over me and his eyes are filled with hatred. “What are you doing to her?”
It dawns on me that I felt another presence when Xandra communicated with me. It was Kallen. He is somehow psychically linked to us both. How did I let this happen?
I can only answer him with honesty. “I do not know, Kallen. But I promise you, I will fix this.”
If I was in my own body, I believe he would be choking me. His hands are itching to find my neck and squeeze until my soul pops out of this body. But that will not necessarily bring Xandra back to it. Especially if she is deeply seated enough in my body for my brain to let down all the walls I so carefully built over the millennia to house the information of the universe. Her mind truly may not be able to handle it in its current state. If she had been born to her true destiny, she would have developed those skills as I did. Slowly, over a long period of time.
Garren grabs Kallen’s arm and pulls him away from me. “I do not care what is happening between you two. I do care that you just alerted half of the realm to the fact that I am escorting Fairies through the realm without permission from the High Dragon Council.”
Kallen nods curtly and steps back. “My apologies.”
Garren snorts. “I do not want your apologies. I want the two of you to knock it off. It does not take much to set a Dragon off and the Dragons who live in the Lairs of the Lost are holding on to their sanity by the gossamer silk of the tiniest spider you can imagine. Your magic may be strong, but the fire of a Dragon burns hot and fast. You would not even know what hit you and you certainly would not be able to draw enough magic to protect yourself if a Dragon wanted to barbecue you.”
“Garren, stop exaggerating,” Isla says impatiently. To me and Kallen, she says, “You two will behave yourselves if you want to save either Tabitha or Xandra.”
“Of course,” I say. I plan to do both.
Chapter 15 - Xandra
“Xandra, come back little one. I will help keep you safe.” Ray’s words are a distant whisper in the far corners of my mind. I know that his hands are on my temples and I feel some of the pain ebbing, but I’m finding it difficult to hear his voice clearly over the rumble of snapshots of time flowing through my brain.
After a few moments, the information strangling my mind finally falls back some so I can actually think some of my own thoughts again. I open my eyes and I find that I am lying with my head in his lap stretched out on the ground. But we’re not in the orchard. We are somewhere else.
As if reading my mind, Ray says, “I thought it best to get you away from prying eyes. We are at Raziel’s favorite spot. He loves to come here. He says the waterfall helps him drown out his thoughts sometimes.”
Now that he mentions it, I can hear the sound of rushing water. I move my head carefully to the side and sure enough, there is a waterfall about fifty feet away. “Pretty,” I mumble.
Ray smiles. “I have been worried about you. I was afraid I would not be able to help you come back.”
“Come back? Where was I?” I ask as I struggle to sit up. My head is still killing me and I’m nauseated from the images swirling around in my brain but I manage.
He points to my head. “In there somewhere buried under knowledge that you are not ready to have.”
I put a hand to my temple. “Tell me about it. How did you bring me back?”
“As Raziel once mentioned, I am the Archangel of Order and Harmony.” Oh yeah.
“I was able to help your mind, for lack of a better word, file away some of the knowledge that you were being bombarded with.”
“Good thing I became Raziel with you around then.”
