All About Charming Alice

by J. Arlene Culiner

  But he also saw the way she was really looking at him. With anger, yes. And passion. She was no chilly woman, and she couldn’t keep up her show of indifference. To hell with the wishy-washy inner voice that counseled prudence.

  He put down his cup, just as deliberately as she had. Walked around to her side of the desk until he was standing right beside her, towering over her. Power position.

  She looked up at him. Not with fear. Not that. She was a tough woman, he knew. Anyone could sense her strength vibrating in the air around her. Then, unable to resist the call of her fine, stubborn lips, he bent down, lowered his mouth to hers.

  She wanted to fight him. Or she thought she did. He saw her hands rise with the intention of pushing him away. But they stopped in midair, fingers fluttering in a helpless gesture of submission. And want.

  If he’d ever experienced a kiss that affected him like this, he couldn’t remember it. His senses spun, reeled. And her lips opened under his, met his demand. Sliding his hands down over her back, he again felt her body arching up toward him in mutual riotous desire.

  This time he was the one who pulled back despite the senses running amok. Her face was flushed, her eyes dark. He observed her silently for a moment. Then felt his own smile. Not a smile of triumph, but one of complicity. A feeling she returned, with her eyes, her smile.

  She was beautiful when her features softened like that.

  Of course, what he really wanted to do now was pull her up into his arms, drag her up those steps to his big, lonely bed. Rip off the shabby cardigan and shapeless print dress that hid her. Possess every inch of her long, slender body. Watch passion chase away the last bit of reticence. But he knew he couldn’t try doing that. Not yet. Cool down, Jace. Go slowly if you don’t want to be thrown out on your ear. There’s plenty of time in front of you.

  And just then he caught sight of the photo lying on her desk. And, involuntarily, recoiled.

  It was a picture of a snake — huge — curled. Thoughts of seduction and charm went spinning out of his head. “Ugh,” he muttered.

  Alice’s brows arched, her eyes gleamed. But no longer with desire. “What did you just say?”

  “It’s horrible.”

  “What’s horrible?” She was relentless.

  “That thing. That snake. It’s a rattler, isn’t it?”

  “And a rattler — any snake — is something you hate?”

  Jace moved to the other side of the desk, preferring to distance himself from the photo, from the vague feeling of nausea that had seized his gut. He took a deep breath. “Yes. I do.” He knew it was the wrong answer to give.

  Alice might even like snakes — that wouldn’t surprise him in the least. He’d probably just sealed his doom now, ruined his chances with her. She’d mock him for his weakness, sneer him out of her life.

  “What do you know about reptiles?” she asked calmly.

  “Nothing.” Did he really want to pursue the subject? No, he didn’t. Better to be flippant and get this over with. “In a high-rise condo in Chicago, reptile encounters are exceedingly rare.”

  She didn’t smile, only watched him with an unreadable expression. And gave him the feeling he had to justify his reaction. Just to save face, perhaps. Just so Alice wouldn’t write him off as a complete coward, a frail city boy. But how could he do it without delving into the past, into the most painful episode of his childhood? He couldn’t.

  Jace lowered himself into the armchair on the opposite side of the desk.

  “Okay. I’ll tell you a story.”

  “Fine,” said Alice. “I’m listening.”

  “It’s about something I don’t like remembering or talking about. You see, I have what I suppose you’d call a terrible revulsion or a phobia about snakes. Ever since my cousin Jerry was bitten by a coral snake.”

  “A coral snake?”

  “Jerry died.”

  “I see.” Alice nodded her head slowly. “Where was this?”

  “In Kentucky. My aunt and uncle had a cottage just past Weston. I used to go out there in the summer, visit Jerry.” So many years had passed since then, but Jace still remembered the sandy ground, scrubby pines, intense summer heat and the ubiquitous noise of insects. Even the rich smells — grass, hay, hot earth — had stayed with him, imprinted on his mind.

  “It wasn’t the most exciting place on earth,” he continued. “But Jerry and I made it interesting. We’d go hiking, ramble around, discover things. One day we decided to explore an abandoned farm a few miles down the road — just poke around, see if there were ghosts in the place, or even forgotten treasure. My aunt and uncle wouldn’t have let us go out that far if they’d known, but that couldn’t stop us.”

  “How old were you both?”

  “I was thirteen. Jerry was two years older. I looked up to him as an authority on everything. He was the big brother I never had. And as far as snakes went, Jerry wasn’t afraid of them at all. He liked snakes, kept baby garters as pets.”

  “Did he know anything about coral snakes?” Alice asked.

  “He did. Or he said he did. But when we found the coral snake out on a sandy patch near an old barn, Jerry said it was a scarlet snake. That a scarlet snake can look like a coral snake, but it isn’t venomous. He wasn’t afraid at all. He went over, cornered it against the wall so he could pick it up, but it went for him. Bit him in the leg and held on. I was terrified. It finally let go and slithered away. Jerry said the bite hadn’t hurt, but I could see he was scared too because scarlet snakes never, or rarely, bite. So we decided to head for home. Even before we were halfway there, Jerry was having trouble breathing. I had to leave him by the side of the road, run for help. But it was too late.” Jace stopped.

  A blind terror of snakes had stayed with him since. Would remain for life, he was certain of it. Even now, he had to force himself to look at the photo of the rattler. “And that thing looks huge.”

  Alice nodded. “Around three feet long. They can grow to five feet or more, but that’s rare.”

  “Are there a lot of those around here?” he asked, dreading a positive answer.

  “Great Basin rattlesnakes? I found this one not a hundred feet away from the house.”

  “You took that picture?”

  “You can get fairly close when the weather gets cold, because they move slowly then. Besides, Great Basin rattlesnakes are timid and would rather slide away than strike.”

  “That’s exactly what Jerry said about coral snakes,” said Jace dryly.

  “He was right,” Alice answered. “All snakes are passive. If you leave them alone, watch them from a distance, they’d never think of hurting you. The snake that bit Jerry probably panicked because it was being cornered.”

  “I know that,” said Jace. “I know that now. Because I had to understand what happened. To get information. Investigate.” He smiled faintly. “It was a way of living with tragedy. And I suppose, it started me out on my career of investigative journalism.”

  “Turning a horrible experience into something positive.” Alice smiled at him.

  “How do you know all this about snakes?” Jace asked. He’d confided in her; now it was her turn to let down her guard, tell a few secrets.

  “I’m a herpetologist,” she said simply. “I study snakes, I photograph them, I write about them for nature magazines. I protect them.”

  “Do you have snakes here in the house?” he asked, dreading a positive answer.

  “Around the house, yes. I certainly don’t chase them off, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “I see.” The list of things he had to tolerate was getting longer: desert dullness, endless dust, multi-colored dog hair, horrific reptiles — all that for a woman who was rarely welcoming, who would probably like to get him out of her house, out of her life.

  “If this is a problem, Jace, I can understand your wanting to leave,” Alice said. “I did try to warn you when you said you intended to board here. I just didn’t realize it was such a big issue.”


  And now she’d even found the best way of getting rid of him. But he knew one thing: he didn’t want to go — despite the snakes. If this fragile-looking woman had no fear of them, he could make an effort, tolerate their proximity, or try to. Yes, he’d stick around. For a while. Not for forever, of course. Just long enough to get to know Alice better, see what the world was like when you looked at it from her direction. Just to investigate another lifestyle. “No way I’m leaving. It’s not every day I meet a genuine herpetologist.”

  To his great surprise, her golden eyes warmed like suns. “Good. I’m getting used to having you around.”

  Had he heard correctly? Had she really said that? Incredible. His heart rose. Fighting to hide how pleased he felt, he stood, headed for the door. Then paused, turned. “Don’t make dinner tonight.”

  He caught the sudden disappointment she was trying to hide. “Because you won’t be coming home?”

  Home, he’d said? “Because I’m taking you out. For dinner.”

  Alice jumped to her feet. “No!”

  “What? This is incredible. Now what have I done? Asked you to have dinner with me? Not to go cook Killer.”

  “I don’t go out for dinner.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because if anyone sees us, they’ll all start talking. They’ll link us together and I hate — absolutely hate — being a topic of gossip. You don’t know what you’re up against. This is Blake’s Folly and here … ”

  He didn’t let her finish. “Too bad. Tonight we’re going out. Together. And not to the local diner either. I’m taking you to Lucy’s. I heard it’s the best restaurant in the desert.”

  “Lucy’s? You can’t do this, Jace!”

  “Have a nice day, Alice.”

  “Jace … ” Her voice, almost plaintive now, followed him down the corridor. “I don’t have anything to wear to a place like Lucy’s.”

  “I’ve got a great idea,” he called back. “Go see Rose.” He wondered what Alice’s tall, thin figure would look like in elegant clothes, in anything but those faded, shapeless print dresses; she seemed to possess an endless collection of them. Thin? No, she wasn’t thin. Those long legs and long arms only gave you that impression. Slender. And lanky. He smiled.

  It was only when he was finally driving down the main road in the direction of the Winterback Mine that he remembered the warm blueberry muffins, and realized how hungry he was. He’d forgotten to eat breakfast.

  Chapter Six

  “Look, Alice. Just look at this dress. It’s the one I told you about.” Rose’s eyes were shinning as she held out the long sleek tube of burgundy silk.

  “I can’t wear something like that,” Alice moaned.

  “Why? Why can’t you?” said Rose. She was feeling more and more exasperated by the minute. No matter what she suggested, Alice quashed all with a wall of negatives.

  “Because … because … Oh, I don’t know. Because it’s not me!”

  “Of course you don’t think it’s you,” Rose said earnestly. “You’ve been so busy wallowing in the swamp of unadulterated frumpiness for so many years now, you can’t imagine, even for a minute, that you could do something else!”

  “And I thought we were friends.”

  “We are. If I were your enemy, I’d keep you in those awful frocks you hide yourself in. I don’t need competition.”

  “What competition?” Alice gaped at Rose. “What kind of a joke is that?”

  “Alice, sweetie, just stop arguing. Okay?”

  “Look Rose, I can’t pay for a silk dress. Not even a secondhand one. And I bet, even secondhand, this one costs a fortune. It’s pure nineteen-forties chic.”

  “We haven’t talked money. And I never imagined you were a wealthy woman.” Rose smiled.

  “You’re not giving it to me!” Alice was vehement. “Because I won’t accept.”

  “If I gave away the things in this shop, I’d die of starvation.”

  “You’re lending it?” Her eyes searched Rose’s face, and she wondered if she imagined seeing a certain embarrassment.

  “I’m not a lending library either,” Rose answered.

  “Well then, you just tell me the price, please.” There was almost a pleading note in Alice’s voice. A dress like this wouldn’t come cheap. It was beautiful, and she’d love to wear it. But she had such a hard time making ends meet. Why didn’t Rose show more sympathy?

  Jace too, for that matter! He was impossible, didn’t have the faintest idea how things worked out here. Soon enough, everyone in the state of Nevada would be linking his name to hers, making them into a permanent couple. Then Jace would go zooming back to his fancy Chicago world, leaving her behind, and everyone would pity her as the rejected woman. The one who’d been dumped by that handsome and very famous writer who’d stayed just long enough for a quick adventure.

  “Alice, just try the dress on, okay? I told Jace I thought you’d look great in it.”

  Alice stared at her friend, open-mouthed. Then she exploded. “Jace? What does Jace have to do with this! What are you talking about!”

  Rose forced herself to stay calm. “Jace and I talked about it last night. At your very own front door. He said he wanted to invite you out for dinner, to a really nice place, and he wanted me to find the perfect dress for you. Okay?” Seeing Alice’s horrified expression, Rose lost a little of her breezy self-confidence. She sighed. “I told him this wasn’t going to be easy … ”

  “Oh you did, did you?” Had everyone on the North American continent betrayed her?

  “Yes, I did,” snapped Rose defiantly.

  “He told you I would go out with him before he even asked me?”

  “I guess that’s the way things look,” retorted Rose. “And Jace also said that if you argued about the price, I was to explain it was a present. From him. For taking in Killer.”

  “I never heard anything like this in my whole life!” Alice wanted to scream with rage. “What do you both think you’re doing, plotting behind my back like this?”

  “Plotting? Who’s plotting?” Rose’s voice rose on a high note. “Someone wants to give you a gift and that’s called plotting? You’re plain nuts, Alice Treemont, and I give up! This is a present, right? Jace wanted to give you a present. And you refuse to accept, like always. Okay, go out to dinner in rags, if that’s what you want. Slip into something that looks just about right for washing the floor.” Rose stopped, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. “I’m willing to bet you even argued with Jace about going out to dinner!”

  “How do you know?” Alice felt her fury ebbing away. She’d never seen good-natured Rose angry before. I manage to ruffle everyone’s fur, she thought miserably.

  “How do I know? Because that’s what you’re like. You’re always ready to give. You cook for everyone, take care of helpless animals — you’re the first one in this whole state who rushes in when anyone needs help. But you never learned how to take and that’s unfair. Other people like to give too, you know. But you don’t care about that. It’s only your pride that counts!”

  Alice was silent for a long moment. Why was everyone ganging up on her? Or perhaps they weren’t? What if Rose was right and she was wrong? Why was life so confusing? Why had her own life become so complicated since Jace had appeared in it? She took a deep breath.

  “Okay,” she said slowly. “Point taken. I guess I’m going to have to work on this.” But, right now, all she wanted to do was get out of this shop.

  “Hey, kid,” Rose looked at her soberly. “I care about you. And maybe Jace does too.”

  “Jace care about me? Nonsense. Rose, you’re dreaming up a love story the way you always do. Jace doesn’t even know me. I don’t know him.”

  “So when you go out to dinner with him tonight, ask questions. Tell him things.”

  “And I can’t accept the dress.”

  “If you refuse, I lose a sale.”

  “This makes me feel like a kept woman.”

  “In that ca
se, you shouldn’t even accept a coffee from me, or dinner from Jace. And what about Pa Handy’s fixing your boiler for free? Does he make you feel like a kept woman too?”

  Alice’s chin jutted out stubbornly. “Pa said he’s going to send me a bill.”

  “He won’t. You know that. Give up, Alice. Try the dress on. I even have a wonderful pair of pointy-toed silver high heels to go with it. Accept what Jace is offering — even if it’s just this once. He’s gorgeous, he’s sexy and he’s nice. And he’s not trying to buy you. He just wants to please you. So … be happy.”

  Alice felt herself relenting. “What if I look awful in it?”

  “It’s not the only dress in the shop, you know,” Rose answered dryly. “And, uh, just one little question, okay?”

  “You’ve got nothing to lose.”

  Rose’s mouth twisted. “It’s about the braids. I mean, you aren’t thinking of wearing your hair in braids tonight, are you? I’m not saying they don’t suit you. They do. And in Blake’s Folly, they’re fine … ” Her voice drifted off.

  “I get the message,” Alice rolled her eyes heavenward. “Since I’ll be wearing a tulip-shaped dress that will make me look like a strange stick insect, and heels high enough to break my neck in, I need the appropriate hairstyle.”

  “Message received.”

  • • •

  Jace went up to his room to change. The house was perfectly silent. No sign of the dogs, no sign of the unpredictable Alice. She hadn’t run out on him, had she? He didn’t like to think about that possibility, although he knew that there was a chance of it happening: he’d thought about it all day.

  He put on his blue shirt, made a face, ripped it off and went for the gray. No, that was even worse. The striped tie that had seemed so suitable in Chicago looked miserable right now. Why had he even bought the thing? Finally, he settled for a white shirt and well-cut navy slacks. He felt like a tied pot roast in the tweed jacket.

  Calm down, Jace. You’re taking a lady out to dinner. You’ve done this a thousand times before in your life. So why was he feeling like a teenager on his first date? And in Blake’s Folly, of all places. Anyone would think he was getting ready for the flash of Chicago High Society. But the little voice in his head pointed out, once again, that he hadn’t felt this pleased to be going out with any woman in his acquaintance for quite a long time — be it in Chicago, Paris, Los Angeles, or anywhere.