Distraction

by McPherson, Angela

  "Shoot me your first question," he mumbled around a mouthful of food. I blurted the first thing that popped in my head. "Did you talk to Kellie about me? About my sister?"

  Tristan frowned, setting his plate on the coffee table. "Where is this coming from?"

  "I just want to know. Answer the question."

  Tristan leaned back against the couch. His jaw tensed when he turned his face to the side. "I've mentioned that your parents were crazy, but nothing else." He turned back to me.

  My heart pounded. Was that all?

  "Why even say that, Tristan? My life is none of her business." My words came out louder than intended, but hurt hid beneath the question.

  "What the hell is going on? Did Kellie say something, because if she did then spit it out already. I don't fucking read minds, you know."

  Tristan rose from the couch and walked back and forth in front of the window. I looked up when his movements stopped. The muscles in his biceps bulged when he folded his arms over his chest. His arms moved up and down with each breath he took. His dark brown hair fell near his eyes. Heat flared in his eyes, the pain brewing behind the anger scorched my heart.

  "I saw her in the library today. She said you only felt sorry for me because my family was screwed up. Is that all I am to you? Someone to feel sorry for?"

  My hands shook as I watched him mask his surprise. I didn't need to bring up her speculation of my feelings for him.

  Tristan threw his hands up in the air. "Elle, you should know me better than that." His tone stayed even, clueing me to the pent up anger he tried to contain. His face turned deep red. He hadn't moved away from the window.

  I heard a car pull into the driveway, and then laughter as Alyssa and Bret opened the front door. All humor stopped when they took in the strained silence in the room. Tristan looked ready to hit something or someone. As for me, well, I stayed on the couch, desperately holding back the emotions that were ready to slip away at any second.

  "I'm out of here." Tristan grabbed his keys on his way out. When the door slammed behind him, the emotions I held back gushed out in a tidal wave of tears.

  Alyssa left me alone in our room. My relationship with Tristan had been violated in a sense. What made the situation worse was Kellie had gotten what she'd wanted. She had Tristan, and she'd managed to put a wedge between us.

  Tristan's words filtered through my mind. I'll always want you in my life, Elle, forever.

  Sometimes forever wasn’t long enough.

  * * *

  When I finished the interview with Tristan, Mr. Edwards said he'd print the article in the next paper, but when the paper came out, I didn't bother reading the sports section.

  Over the last two weeks, I kept myself busy. If not at work, school, or studying, I spent my time with Eric. We doubled with Alyssa and Bret a time or two. I tried, but I couldn't let go of the hurt I felt after Tristan left that day.

  Alyssa had sat beside me on my bed after Bret left. She'd told me not to worry about Kellie, and something about her being mad. I nodded against my tear-soaked pillow. She'd attempted to say more, but stopped. Thank goodness, because I hadn't wanted to listen to anymore. She ended up leaving me alone with my misery.

  Being with Eric helped me forget the pain, until he'd do something that reminded me of Tristan, especially when his hair fell near his eyes.

  * * *

  Halloween crept up on me. I volunteered to hand out candy at the Kappa house with some of the new pledges. Eric asked if I wanted to meet him at a club when I was finished, but I declined.

  "Are you sure you don't want to go with us?" Alyssa refused to leave me alone. She and Bret were going to a Halloween party, but I had turned her offer down, too.

  "I've already agreed to hand out candy, but thanks for the invite." Alyssa had been super nice and kept giving me a damn pity look ever since my fight with Tristan. Her gesture grated on my nerves. "Alyssa, I'm fine, okay? Go out and have fun. Don't worry about me."

  "I do worry."

  I ignored her. "So, what do you think?" I fixed the big red clown nose.

  "You look like a clown," she said dryly.

  "Great, that's the idea. I've got to get before I'm late."

  "Fine, but if you change your mind, give me a call."

  "Okay, I promise."

  Chapter 16

  Tristan

  I sat on my couch, ignoring the movie. My mind replayed the day I left Elle’s place. Even now, the pain reflected in her eyes made my pulse race with anger.

  "Kellie, what the fuck did you say to Elle?"

  She laughed. "Elle should know how pathetic she is. She's going to end up like her sister. A fucked up shell of a person."

  I gripped the steering wheel as I sped down the street, holding my phone in the other hand. "Your dad was right about them. They're nothing, and you'll end up the same if you don't walk away."

  I breathed deep through clenched teeth. Her words enraged me, causing my vision to blur. “Being with you was the worst mistake I ever made." I took another breath before going on. "Stay away from Elle."

  "Whatever," she said, ending the call.

  Coming out of the past, I realized my hands were shaking, and beer sloshed out of the bottle. I used the edge of my shirt to sop up the alcohol drenching my fingers.

  I'd never told Elle that Kellie and I broke up. I wanted to tell her, many times, but we seemed to miss each other's phone calls, so I never got the chance. Not hearing from her in over two weeks felt like hell. School, practices, games, my early morning jogs, none of it helped me forget the hurt in her eyes. I'd called Alyssa the next day, knowing Elle needed time to herself.

  Alyssa told me Elle needed to be alone, but followed up by saying the next time she ran into Kellie, she planned to kick her ass. I smiled. Knowing Alyssa, she'd do so without thinking twice. I didn't blame her.

  I'd admitted to Alyssa that Kellie and I had split up and how she'd apparently taken her shit out on Elle. I asked her to keep me informed if Kellie tried to contact her again. Alyssa agreed, much to my surprise, and told me she'd let me know how Elle was doing. She also said she was glad I'd come to my senses. Alyssa confused the hell out of me.

  The reminder only made me wish I'd come to my senses a long time ago. I took a sip of beer, and winced. Getting up, I walked to the kitchen and poured a full, perfectly good beer down the drain. Yeah, maybe it was time to call it a night. My shit with Elle would be there waiting when I woke up–unfortunately.

  Just as I kicked off my shoes in my bedroom, my phone rang. I figured one of the guys was calling to ask if I'd changed my mind about going out. When I answered, I hadn't expected it to be Heather.

  "Tristan," she said in a broken whisper.

  "Heather, what's wrong?" I heard her take in a shaky breath. "Where are you?" My voice rose, and my stomach knotted with tension. "Heather," I said, calmer now.

  "I'm here. D-do you think you could meet me?"

  I closed my eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "Yes. When and where?" I waited as she softly whimpered on the other end of the line.

  "I'm at a coffee shop. But come alone. Promise not to bring Elle with you and I'll give you the address."

  I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah, all right, I promise."

  "O-okay." Her words faltered. She gave me the address to meet her and made me promise again not to tell Elle.

  When I hung up, I sat on my bed and stared at the wall. I didn't know what to expect, but I had to go. I promised I'd help her regardless. I just didn't know how I'd planned to do it.

  I wasn't too familiar with the particular part of town she was in, but Heather gave me specific directions. The place wasn't far from where Elle worked.

  It didn't take me long to find. Two old timers smoking near the door nodded as I walked past them and opened the door. The smell of coffee and doughnuts assaulted my senses, creating an instant growl in my stomach. My stomach had a mind of its own, regardless of the nervous energy dancing ar
ound.

  The walls were painted a dingy yellow and had old pictures of sprinkled doughnuts, bear claws, and muffins hung crookedly against the chipped paint. I scanned the small area. Sitting near the back, I found Heather in a two-seated booth, alone.

  As I drew closer, my mouth went dry and my tongue stuck to the roof. I wasn't sure what she wanted or what I'd say but I continued, hoping I'd be able to say the right thing when the time came.

  "Hey," I said.

  Heather lifted her face revealing a busted lip and a fresh black eye.

  "Who the hell did this to you!" I attempted to keep my voice low as I sat across from her.

  She turned her head to wipe a tear sliding down her battered face. "I'm fine, Tristan."

  What the fuck?

  "Heather, you can't keep doing this. You're going to get yourself killed."

  "Tristan, please," she said but stopped, catching her breath on a sob.

  God, I didn't know what to do. Heather was like a little sister to me, but the ability to say something comforting was lost the second I saw her.

  "Can I get you anything?" A waitress walked up, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

  "A cup of coffee, black, and whatever she wants. It's on me," I said flatly.

  "I'll take a cup of coffee with cream and sugar please," Heather said, her face still aimed to the wall.

  The waitress scribbled our order before walking away.

  "Please tell me what you want because I don't know what to do."

  More tears rolled down the side of her face as she faced me. "I don't want this life anymore. I'm tired, but I don't know how to stop."

  I looked into eyes so much like her sister’s, but Heather’s were vulnerable and scared.

  "I'll help you. I promise. Whatever it takes." I placed my hand over hers. They were thin and ice cold. I was afraid if I squeezed too hard I'd break her tiny bones.

  The waitress came back with our orders. Heather greeted her with a sweet smile.

  "Listen, I know this is none of my business, but he isn't worth it." The waitress's dark eyes were like black stones, pointing solely at me until she stormed away.

  "Well, she was nice," I said, lifting the cup to my mouth.

  "I'm so sorry, Tristan. I never wanted this, you know." She stirred her coffee. "This all started as a way to get out of my head, but then I couldn't stop." She laughed, though the sound came out hollow.

  "None of that matters now. It’s in the past, okay?"

  Heather smiled at me. "Thanks for coming tonight. I called my mom, but she said she couldn't come. And I was too ashamed to call Elle. I don't want her to see me like this. She doesn’t need to know how bad I've gotten. Every time I read one of her emails, begging me to come home, it kills me. I've let her down so many times. After our dad left, she was more of a mother to me than our mom was."

  She looked so small, more like the little girl who'd beg her big sister to hang out with us as kids. Elle would always let her, especially when her parents argued. She always tried to protect Heather from their life.

  "It's no big deal," I settled. "So, do you come here often?" I tried for the light approach, hoping to pry out what she wanted.

  "Sometimes. I know Elle works down the street." Her eyes brightened when she spoke her sister's name. "I come here when I know she's at work." She shrugged her shoulder. "Being there makes me feel a little closer to her. That must sound stupid to you, but it's the only way I can be around her without her seeing me."

  "You know she loves you. Right?" I waited for her to answer, but she sipped her coffee instead. "Heather, do you want help?" I cleared my throat. "I can drive you to the hospital or to a rehab."

  "I want to, really I do." She bit her bottom lip. "I'm just scared, and I don't have any money to pay."

  "Don't worry about the money. If you're serious about rehab, I'll take care of the cost." She sat quietly while considering the offer. I worried it wouldn't be enough. "I won't tell Elle, I promise." The words just slipped out, but when her eyes met mine, I knew I'd said the right thing.

  "If I go, you won't tell Elle?"

  "You have my word, kid." I used her old nickname.

  "You haven't called me that in forever." She laughed, sounding more like the person she used to be before alcohol and drugs took over.

  "You haven't given me the chance to use it." I reached across the table and squeezed her hand.

  "I guess you're right." She sighed, and finished off her coffee.

  I bought us a dozen doughnuts, and for once, someone ate more than me. Heather's shoulders relaxed against the vinyl seat and her cheeks had more color by the time she swallowed her last bite.

  "Wow, I'm impressed." I waved my hand to her. "Not even Spud can outdo me eating doughnuts."

  "You still call her that?" She shook her head. "You know she hates it when you call her that, right?"

  "No, she doesn't." I knew she did, but hearing Heather's easygoing laugh felt good.

  "So, are you two together finally?" Her question took me by surprise. "Oh, give me a break," she said, arching a brow. "I figured that one of you would've given in by now. You two have had it bad for each other since y'all were kids."

  "I don't know what you're talking about," I lied. I knew how I felt of course, but Elle only thought of me as a friend, right?

  Heather rolled her eyes acting more and more like herself. "Whatever. I swear one day one of you are gonna end up married and realize you've both been in love with each other, but it'll be too late."

  Her words stung, and I again wasn't sure what to say back.

  After we finished another cup of coffee, I drove Heather to the hospital. We waited a few hours before they evaluated her. Once she signed an agreement to stay in rehab until she was clean, she named me as her emergency contact if something happened.

  "Please, you have to promise me you won't tell Elle anything until I'm clean."

  "Heather, she's your sister. You know she worries about you."

  "That's why I haven't called her. I don't want her to worry, and I definitely don’t want her to see me, not like this." Her expression turned hard. "Promise me, Tristan. Give me your word you won't mention this until I say I'm ready."

  I sighed, contemplating whether to lie or not. Finally, I gave up and agreed. I figured if this was what it took to get her clean, then I'd keep it from Elle.

  "You have to promise you'll call Elle when you're better. Even if you're still in rehab. She'll be proud of you, Heather. Just like I am."

  Heather smiled with tears in her eyes. I could see the promise of hope she held onto. She looked so much like her sister, making it hard not to look away. I swallowed the lump in my throat when the doctor came back in, telling us to say our goodbyes.

  Heather's expression displayed bravery, but she didn't fool me. I could see the fear in her green eyes. She chose to do the right thing. I kept telling myself not telling Elle was right.

  Elle

  The house stayed busy with kids until near midnight. As soon as the last bag of candy was gone, I wanted to go home. Run was more like it. The thought of retreating to the peace and quietness of my empty house got me through the night.

  "Thanks for helping out tonight, and for the gift basket you made." Casey, a new pledge and my assigned little sister, smiled as we walked out.

  "I had fun last year. It was no big deal, and you're welcome," I offered.

  "How's Tristan doing?" I looked up at Casey in confusion. Casey made a quick glance over her shoulder, and then lowered voice. "I heard his girlfriend cheated on him with a guy from the football team. Robbie something? I can't remember his last name. Rumor is, Tristan took off this weekend because they were going to that big Halloween party together. Are you going?"

  I didn't know they'd broken up, which only confirmed the distance and change in our once close-knit friendship. I held my smile, and said, "I don't think I'm going. Is that where you're headed?"

  "Some of us are."

 
Casey's news bothered me. I'd always thought Tristan was making a terrible mistake being with Kellie, but I'd never wanted him to get hurt.

  "Hey, I've got to go, but have fun at the party."

  "Okay, see ya," she said.

  At home, I showered the white makeup from my face then settled on my bed, eating a bowl of ice cream. I attempted to study for my next Psych test. My effort proved to be useless. Casey's rumor kept streaming in my thoughts. Had Casey mentioned anyone other than Robbie, I might've dismissed the rumor easily. But that was classic Robbie. The guy's ethics were seriously screwed up.

  I couldn't believe Kellie would do something as despicable as cheating–and on Tristan of all people. She had the whole package. Aside from Tristan's killer looks, he was smart, funny, and basically an all-around good guy.

  Anyone could see how great he was, so why couldn't she? I knew in the pit of my stomach the rumor was true. I couldn't decide if I should call to confirm Casey's story or not.

  The longer I worried over Tristan and his chaotic life, the more my head throbbed. I had a cute, funny boyfriend and I should be thinking about him, not Tristan. With that, I decided to go out after all.

  As I searched through my closet, I closed off any and all thoughts of Tristan.

  I texted Eric, letting him know I'd be seeing him at the club. He replied quickly.

  Can't wait to see you.

  After I dressed, I fixed my hair then glossed my lips. When I finished, I pocketed my ID, grabbed my keys, and hurried out the front door.

  The parking lot was full, which required me to park down the street. The frigid wind whipped my hair in my face and tiny pieces stuck to my glossed lips. Goosebumps covered my bare skin and I picked up my pace, eager to get out of the cold.

  I borrowed Alyssa's risqué black mid-thigh dress pairing it with cute yellow heels. With my usual conservative ensemble revamped, I felt frivolous and welcomed the change. However, needing out of the wind, I almost took a nosedive, barely missing the hidden hole in the road by inches.