The Perfect Bastard

by LK Collins

  “Night,” we both respond and I look over at him. He has a bottle of water in his hand and passes it to me as he sits down.

  “You feeling any better?”

  “Not really,” I tell him and take a small sip.

  He pulls his shirt over his head, and my eyes are drawn to his amazing tattoos. These beds are so small, as he climbs in behind me we barely fit. But I’ve grown to like snuggling together when we sleep. Wrapping his arms tightly around me, I close my eyes. The room is very tranquil; the warmth of his body along mine is so comforting.

  “What are you going to wish for?” he asks me, touching the small box on my bracelet.

  “I don’t know yet,” I answer him honestly. My mind is sending me so many mixed signals, making me feel things with Merritt that I never imagined I would. But I push them away to protect myself, the only way I know how, the way I promised myself I would after my last breakup.

  I stay in this moment because I’ve learned better than anyone that these two days will fly by and as soon as we leave here and go our separate ways, he’ll forget all about me. I remind myself he’s probably no different than the other men I’ve been with. Even if he seems different now.

  Waking up, the sun is barely lighting the morning sky, and I have to pee. Merritt is sound asleep, still holding my body tightly against his. Gently, I kiss his arm, then lift it and slip out of his hold. Looking back at the way he stretches in the tiny bed, it’s obvious his large body is way too big for it.

  Traipsing into the bathroom, I realize that my head no longer hurts. Thank God, I don’t think I could’ve endured another day of pain. After I’m done peeing, I wash my face and then go back into the bedroom, but Merritt is no longer in bed.

  I glance around the room and before I can spot him, his arms are around me. He’s standing behind me, his large cock ready and hard for me. “Morning,” he says, his voice rough as he guides me to sit on the couch. I look up at him, stark naked and so fucking hot. He takes the sash off of one of the curtains and places it over my eyes, awakening all my other senses.

  Forcefully, he tightens it behind my head and asks me, “Do you trust me?”

  “Should I?” I ask him in return.

  “I hope so.”

  Then he directs me to lie back, my eyes fighting to see what he is doing, but everything is dark. Taking his fingers, he slides them beneath the sides of my pants and shimmies them down my legs; then he removes my shirt. My heart is pounding, eager for what he has in store.

  His hands are on my body, touching and teasing my tense skin before he spreads my legs wide and settles between them, blowing a cool breath of air on my wet pussy. He says, “Mmmm, you smell like heaven.”

  I urge my hips towards him as I try to look through the sash, but I can’t see a thing. He separates my pussy and wraps his lips down around my clit. Right away, I tense, and he begins to kiss and flick back and forth with his tongue, pleasing me.

  I moan loudly, and he covers my mouth, quieting me, but not breaking our contact. As he pleases me, I fight what he is doing not wanting to give over so fast, but an intense orgasm hits me automatically, causing him to push hard against me, pulling it out of my system, like it’s his to control. My muffled noises are quieted by his hand as he cups my mouth a little harder.

  My body stops pulsating, and he pulls away. I wait for what is next, and he begins kissing me, all over. My fingers are knotted in his hair loving how his lips feel on my body. “You taste so good,” he tells me.

  “Let me taste you,” I tell him, and he doesn’t answer. Instead he continues kissing me. Even though I just came, my body is horny and eager for him. I allow him to take his time, dousing me with affection, and then he stops and nudges his cock against my lips. I open wide, taking him in, wishing that I could see him, but also liking the way the blindfold has me lost in a world where only Merritt and I exist.

  I moan against his shaft, gripping the base as I suck him. Every contour of his rigid dick etches itself into my memory. He moves slowly but gives me all of him. I grip harder, and he doesn’t last long before he pulls away. I lie there, breathless and panting, wanting more of him. “Why did you stop?” I ask and before I can answer, he’s inside me. His hands hold my legs open wide, so our bodies blend close together. He moves in and out of me, causing every fiber of who I am to focus only on the pleasure and as I get lost in this moment, he asks me, “Does this have to end?”

  I contemplate how to answer him, and slowly, lift the blindfold off of my eyes. He looks at me, so wantonly and even though I’m scared, I don’t want it to end either. But deep down, we both know it has to. It’ll never work. And if for some reason we were to force things and give it a try, I’m not ready. I’m damaged and need to fix myself before I can even think I’m emotionally able for a relationship.

  Chapter 18

  Merritt

  After Quinn and I fucked this morning, she’s been quiet…more distant, and I know it’s because of the question that I asked her this morning. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything; it was in the heat of the moment, and I let my mouth speak what I was feeling. She couldn’t even answer me; she just shook her head, and now…everything feels different.

  She agreed to a week with me, and that’s it. So I’ve gotta let go of any thoughts I’m having about wanting more. Plus, who am I kidding? I don’t have time to date. I barely have time for myself when I’m home.

  “I’m gonna go for a walk,” she says, grabbing her scarf and gloves.

  “Can I join you?” I ask, wanting to get things back to normal between us.

  “Sure.”

  I get dressed and meet her downstairs. Since Ari got hurt, we haven’t done much as a group, minus hanging out at the house, which is understandable, but at times it’s boring.

  Willow and Ted are watching a movie on the couch with Ari. Kami and Jacob must be in their room.

  As we step outside, the cold air sends a chill through my bones, and I zip my coat. We walk down the driveway, and automatically I grab her hand, she blinks a few times, searching for her words and I just want to try and fix things. “I’m sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have opened my mouth.”

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry for how I acted too.”

  “Don’t be,” I tell her. “I shouldn’t have asked you that. We had an agreement, and I got carried away in the heat of the moment and—”

  “It’s okay, Merritt,” she cuts me off. “You don’t need to explain yourself. It’s not you that’s messed up, it’s me.”

  “Can I ask you something, Quinn?”

  “Sure.”

  “What’s happened to make you so scared to date again?”

  She laughs awkwardly, “I don’t know what it is, but all of my relationships always end badly.”

  “Why do you think?”

  “I don’t know. Ever since high school, every relationship I’ve been in has ended because either the guy has lied to me or cheated on me.”

  “You know I’d never do that to you, right?” She rolls her eyes and doesn’t respond, looking over at me. “I mean it, Quinn.”

  “You and I don’t even live in the same state. Have you ever tried a long-distance relationship?”

  “No, you?”

  “Yes, my last one was, and I’m telling you, I won’t do it again. I’m sorry, it has nothing to do with you. I like you, and the time we share together, but once we are apart, I’m sure your feelings will change, and like I said, I’m not ready to date. I need some time to fix myself.”

  The ground beneath us shifts, the sound of the cracking is so loud that I’m not sure what to do. And before I can react to her wide and scared eyes, I realize how bad of an idea it was to walk on the lake we fished a few days ago with how sunny it’s been.

  “Don’t move.”

  “Okay,” she says, visibly scared, but trusting. As I step to my right, the ice cracks. Quinn falls in, her screams echoing off the canyon surrounding us. Instinctively, I reach for her arms an
d hold on to her as I’m now lying flat on my stomach. Her face is contorted with fear. “I got you. I got you,” I tell her and know I have to get her out of the freezing water quickly. Scooting myself backwards, I slowly pull her out and pray that the ice doesn’t give again.

  Each shift of our weight causes a thud beneath us. My heart pounds harder than I can ever remember. Quinn is frightened, I can see it in her eyes, and I pray that I can get us out of this.

  It doesn’t take me long; I’ve won half of the battle. With both of us lying on the ice, her teeth are chattering, and very calmly I tell her, “Spread your legs apart and scoot to the edge of the ice, it’s not too far.”

  “No, I’m not leaving you here.”

  “Goddammit, Quinn, go!” I yell at her.

  Tears fill her eyes, and she scoots away from me. I can feel each time she moves, and the ice makes noises beneath my body. Waiting for what feels like an eternity, I can’t believe this has happened. Then she finally says the words. “I’m off the ice.”

  Taking in a deep breath, I contemplate getting up and running. Wondering if I could outrun the cracking ice, like in the movies. But I don’t dare risk it, not while Quinn’s shivering body is waiting for me.

  As I scoot along, the noises have me fearing I won’t make it. But Quinn’s eyes keep me going, and finally, I make it off the ice. She throws herself around me, and I lift her wet, shivering body in my arms, jogging back to the house as fast as I can.

  “Are you okay?” I ask her.

  “I think so.” Her lips are blue and teeth still chattering.

  Rushing inside, everyone looks at us, shocked, as I burst through the door and I head straight towards our bathroom. “Oh my God, what happened?” Willow asks.

  “She fell through the ice,” I respond and start the shower. Quinn is standing in the middle of the room, clearly in shock as her body is trembling.

  “Shouldn’t we call 911?” Willow asks.

  “She was only in the water for thirty seconds tops; she’s not disoriented. I don’t think she needs to go to the hospital.”

  “Quinn, do you want me to call an ambulance?” Willow asks her, and she shakes her head as I help her undress and then get her into the shower. The hot water surrounds her body, slowly calming her chattering teeth.

  “Can I get you something?” Willow asks her.

  “Dry clothes,” I tell Willow and strip naked myself, getting inside the shower while Willow is gone.

  Quinn’s body shakes as I rub my hands up and down her arms, trying to help circulate her blood. Slowly, I watch the life come back to her as the color returns to her face. Thank God, she’s okay. I’m not sure what I would’ve done had something happened to her.

  “Thank you for saving me,” she says, and I kiss the top of her wet hair.

  With Quinn in my arms, I have a tight hold on her, realizing in this moment as we stand here together, just how precious life is. Today we both could’ve died and then what? What would things be like in a world with no Quinn and no Merritt? The thought is unsettling, and I hold her tighter and harder. Processing the reality that after tomorrow my life will not have Quinn in it, and I don’t know how to deal with that.

  Chapter 19

  Quinn

  Sitting on the edge of the tiny bed that Merritt and I shared for the better part of a week, I’m really going to miss this place. Looking at the door to the room and the spot where we first laid eyes on each other, I never thought I’d feel the way I do about him, but he’s shown me so much and proved to me that maybe not all men are alike.

  This week has been such a whirlwind. It has flown by; from body shots, to being kissed in the forest, to a game of Truth or Dare like no other, to watching the clouds roll by, and to the most mind-blowing sex, it’s all been the best, and I’ll always hold those memories close to me. For Christ’s sake, he saved my life.

  “You ready?” Merritt asks me, popping into the room.

  “I am.” I take his hand, and he yanks me off the bed. “I’m gonna miss your lips.”

  “Just my lips?” I tease him as he kisses me.

  “Yup…that’s all.”

  I smile and follow him as we head downstairs to say goodbye to everyone.

  “Thank you for such an amazing trip,” I tell Ari as I hug him and unfortunately squeeze a little bit too hard. He winces from the pain. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Anytime, Quinn, you know that.”

  Smiling back at him, I say my goodbyes to everyone else. “Call me as soon as you’re home,” Willow orders me and hands me back my cell phone.

  “I will.” Taking it back from her, I realize I really don’t want it. This time away from obsessing over my phone has been so unbelievably refreshing. But this trip is only a week; now it’s back to the real world and real life.

  “What time is your flight?” I ask Merritt as I hug him and he says, “Two-thirty.”

  “I’m gonna miss you.”

  He cups my face looking deep into my eyes. “You still have to drive me to the airport, so you’re not rid of me yet.”

  I smile, and we look around the house one last time. Then head outside where we all load up and go our separate ways. As the other group leaves, Merritt and I sit in my car, so many emotions running through me. First of all, I hate goodbyes and even though I only wanted a week, the thought of ending things here with him is hard. I plug my phone in and exhale.

  He takes his hand and rests it atop my knee reading me well, “Thank you for everything, Quinn. I’m really gonna miss you.”

  “Of course. I’m sorry,” I apologize as tears fill my eyes. “I just hate goodbyes.”

  “This doesn’t have to be goodbye,” he says, and a part of me doesn’t want things to end. It’s not fair of me to place him in the same group as all of the other men I’ve been with. He’s different; he’s proved that time and time again. So would it be so bad to give things a shot?

  Looking into his sexy eyes, I’m reminded of all the things he’s done for me, from saving my life, to my bracelet, to cuddling in the world’s most uncomfortable tiny bed. To the hours on end, we’d just talk…about nothing and everything all at the same time.

  But before I can answer him, my phone chimes on and the familiar noise draws my eyes to it. Tell your boyfriend he better watch his fucking mouth and man up saying what he emailed me to my face. I blink processing the text as another, and another chime comes through.

  “What’s the matter?” Merritt asks me.

  The familiar stomach churning feeling of betrayal that I have grown to know so goddamn well rains down upon me. How is this possible? What does he even mean?

  “Quinn?” Merritt asks me again and then it hits me.

  I checked my email from his iPad when he was in the hospital with Ari. “Did you email my fucking ex?” He shifts in his seat, visibly uncomfortable. “Did you?” I ask again, this time more agitated.

  “I did, I saw the email he sent to you and had to.”

  Jesus Christ, he’s just like every other man out there. And just when I was beginning to think that he was different, he’s not. I’m not even with him, and he’s already gone behind my back and done something to hurt me.

  “Why wouldn’t you have told me?”

  “The things he said to you were so awful.”

  “They are just words. It wasn’t your place; responding is what he wanted. It’s giving in to him. I even blocked his phone number, and he keeps using other numbers to contact me.”

  “That’s why I contacted him—he’s a bitch and needs to be put in his place.”

  “You don’t know him, Merritt; there’s no putting that man in his place…trust me.”

  “I could with my fist!”

  “But it’s not your place. Don’t you see that? This is just another reason why I need to be single. I don’t need anyone making choices for me.” Starting my Jeep, I pull away from the house and head towards the airport. I don’t want him to miss his flight. He’s quiet as I drive
. I don’t think either of us saw things ending this way, which is funny because there wasn’t supposed to be anything between us to begin with.

  We knew at the end of the week our time would end and that is exactly what it’s come down to.

  Stopping at his terminal, he reaches for the door handle. But doesn’t get out. He leans over the center console and cups my cheek, his warm hands so soothing against my skin, but I fight the feeling. “Just so you know, last week was one of the best of my life, and I was only trying to help you with the email…Goodbye, Quinn.”

  He kisses me one last time and stupidly, I let him. He ignites so many emotions inside my belly and then just like that…he’s gone.

  The pain of watching him walk away hurts so much. I’ve grown to like our time together more than I’d realized, and in a way…depend on him. But I remind myself that we can’t be together. He’s got a busy life as do I, neither of us has time for a relationship.

  Sitting here, I realize just how lonely of a life I lead. Merritt’s words that last week was one of the best of his life is just how I feel. And even though I’m mad as hell at him and as much as he says he was trying to help me and thought what he was doing was right…it wasn’t. The truth is, he didn’t tell me. He just swept it under the rug. I find some peace in reminding myself of that as I drive home.

  If he could so easily brush that away, he’d do it again and again in a heartbeat. I made a decision to focus on myself after my ex broke up with me and that is exactly what I’m going to keep doing.

  “I’m home,” I tell Willow as she answers her phone on the first ring.

  “Oh, good, was the drive okay?”

  “Yeah, not too much traffic.” Opening the door to my quiet condo, everything is as it was when I left it. “You guys make it home yet?”

  “Almost, maybe another thirty minutes or so.” Willow and Ted live down south in Colorado Springs, which is about an hour from me.

  “All right, well, I’m gonna unpack and do some laundry before heading to my parents’ for dinner.”