“Your hair … you look so different.” He exclaims, beaming as my insides unfurl in relief.
“My mom did it.” I say a little dumbfounded. Oh God, I sound like a little kid.
“Well she did a good job.” He smiles and takes my hand.
“So how were manoeuvres?” I enquire, trying to break the awkward space between us that is filled with the time we’ve spent apart.
“I missed you.” He confesses, looking a little miserable. I pull his chin up as I did my mother’s not one hour ago.
“Hey, I’m here now.” I smile into his eyes; their glacial blueness takes me by surprise as though no memory I had stored or dream I’d had could do their stunning warm frost justice.
“Did you miss me?” He interrogates, a curious smile creeping onto his lips as though he already knows the answer.
“You know I did.” I breathe coyly.
“You’re right, I do.” He smiles smugly and squeezes my hand.
“You didn’t answer my question.” I accuse, I am going to learn more about him tonight no matter how much he misdirects the conversation towards flattery.
“Oh yes, manoeuvres were boring as usual. I’d much rather talk about you. How have you been?” He looks at me with such sincerity, such caring that I forget about my vow to learn more about him and put it aside for a moment. We sit as I tell him about what happened after I left the beach one month ago, and what I found when I got home.
“I shouldn’t have left.” He pouts simply after I’ve finished explaining the hell of the last month to him. We’re now lying on our sides in the sand facing one another, each taking part in an intensely connective stare.
“It’s not like you had a choice Orion, you would have been, like, arrested or something if you hadn’t gone back. Besides, mom and I worked through so many issues without even talking about it. We just spent some quality time without Carl and his poisonous influences and now we’re practically as close as we used to be.” I exclaim smiling. I feel so comfortable around him it scares me and at the same time I’m in love with the feeling of casualness between us.
“Well as long as you are happy.” He smiles at me and I melt like chocolate. That mahogany tousled hair, those blue eyes, his tanned skin, and impeccably muscled physique is enough to make anyone normal bite their lip, and so I do. I examine each of his well-muscled limbs and continue to bite down hard until he catches my eye.
“Are you checking me out?” He asks incredulously, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
“Got a problem with that, do you?” I reply boldly, releasing my lip.
“I’m just not used to women being so forward … don’t worry, I like it.” He confirms and then gives a cheeky boyish grin, his white teeth aglow under the moonlight. I pluck up my courage further still, feeling bolder under the dark sky, I start to flirt.
“I got a new bathing suit today, want to see?” I suggest, peeking through my eyelashes innocently.
“Sure.” He says rolling onto his back in the sand and raising his arms to support his head, casually crossing his legs. I slowly untie the back of my dress, feeling perhaps for the first time ever, sexy. I lift the dress over my head, hoping to God I don’t fall out of my top, and discard it onto the sand gently. I stand with my boobs, in all their faux glory, under the moonlit sky. I move one foot up slightly, so I’m standing like Marilyn Monroe, my buttocks standing out against the bright night backdrop. Orion’s eyebrows rise and his eyes widen while an approving smile creeps onto his face. He looks down and away from me, as though he may lose control of himself and either take me right there on the sand or burst out laughing; I hope for my sake it’s the second option.
“I can’t say I’m not impressed Callie, because I am … but you know you don’t have to strip down to get my attention. I think you look sexy no matter what you’re wearing.” He says, getting to his feet and taking my hand, strumming his fingers over the backs of my knuckles. He bites his lip and stands close to me, looking down at my boobs and tummy.
“Not that I’m complaining mind you.” He towers above me in such close proximity his chin is almost touching the top of my head. I feel the kiss stirring between us as I look up at him, tilting my head back, but I chicken out. Not quite ready yet, I admit internally before I vow, maybe in a few more tries. Instead of worrying about this, I distract him.
“Fancy a swim?” I suggest coolly, looking up into his eyes once again as innocently as I can manage in my current attire. He nods and leads me toward the sea. He is wearing, I now notice as I tear my eyes away from his face, nothing but a pair of jeans. His tanned chest is bare in the white light as he walks briskly into the waves showing no fear of the ocean at all. He is so confident; I wish I was as fearless as he appears to be. He stands and calls my name:
“Callie!” He waves, waist deep in the ocean. It’s like he’s wearing nothing at all. Naked Orion? I am so not ready for that! I smile to myself; grateful I have found someone who is at least a gentleman. I remember Daryl’s crotch pushing, unwanted, into my leg at my birthday party and cringe.
I dive into the waves and gasp inwardly as the cold water engulfs my upper half; I inhale a lot of water and come up out of the cool waves spluttering like a drowning cat.
“Whoa!” Orion exclaims, coming over to me as I barely keep afloat. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me up. “Easy girl.” he coos holding me on his hip as though I were no more than a baby. Our eyes meet and we tip-toe around the beginnings of a kiss. What are we both so afraid of? I wonder this as he pulls away again and rubs running mascara from my face. He places me back in the water gently and I look up into his concerned expression.
“Don’t worry, I won’t break or anything.” I promise, feeling a little patronised by the way he stares at me.
“It’s not my fault you don’t realise how fragile, how precious you are.” He compliments me with a gentle smile, his glacial blue eyes are becoming warmer with hopeful anticipation again. I gulp, worried I will not meet his expectation.
“I’m a lot tougher than I look.” I offer my assurance, trying to turn him back to carefree Orion once again.
“I’ll remember that!” He replies, regaining his boyish grin and splashing me full on in the face with icy water. I gasp like a fish on dry land before we spend the remainder of the night playing in the froth of waves, talking about the little things, and eventually falling asleep in each other’s arms next to the sea.
I stir slightly as I feel warmth hit my back. Orion’s arms are locked around me in a protective embrace, and as I stir he opens his eyes. I lay with my head on his chest for a moment, and his lips touch the top of my head planting a kiss gently on my scalp. As I take a final breath of the salted caramel aroma coating his skin, I lift my head from his chest. He looks up and around, startled.
“Hey.” I mumble gruffly, feeling something is wrong.
“Hey, Callie … it’s nearly morning. I’ve got to get going.” He says hurriedly, getting to his feet, the muscles in his face are taught, panicked. I’m still lying on the sand, groggy from last night’s antics, and I’m scared. Did I do something wrong?
“Orion, hey wait … did I do something?” I beg, getting to my feet and grabbing his wrist as he turns to vanish again.
“It’s not meant to happen like this Callie, I have to go.” As the sun hovers beneath the horizon, the sky blazes red and orange across the dawn and my heart races, frantic in my chest. I can’t lose him. He tries to pull free but I won’t let him go. I forget my doubts, the little voices from last night that stopped me from kissing him and I connect with his eyes on a level so deep that he stops, speechless as I plead with my look. I take this moment as the only opportunity I may get and step closer, breathing hard, so confused and desperate even now.
“I know I didn’t do this before, but I’m doing it now okay?” I whisper, my head coming closer to his, the electricity passing into my skin from beneath his touch. He nods and I breathe the two words of total surrender
.
“Kiss me.”
The kiss is not what I expected, it’s better. Earth shatteringly, mind numbingly better. Total surrender to feeling and trust envelopes my body and I can’t move. Orion runs his hand through my hair under the sky that’s set alight with the fire of the rising sun. He looks deeply into my eyes, so deep in fact that I am lost for a moment and the sky is eclipsed in darkness. He pulls me, dominating my motor functions, into his chest and guides my face up to his as his lips encase mine. Not unwelcome like Daryl’s kiss but invited and gentle, his lips push against mine, finding a rhythm together and my heart continues to pound, blood rushing to every part of me that I can still feel. I groan loudly, craving more, a hunger awakening that is so unquenchable I fear I may never stop. It is then that I feel it, my stomach drops and I notice the world hasn’t stopped, but that the sky really has been eclipsed by darkness. By this time though, it is too late.
The knife has already been plunged through my shoulder blade and into my heart, killing me right there: In his arms.
As the last breath leaves my body I feel as though I am stepping out of a dress which is three sizes too small. It is as though the mortal coils in which my soul has lay resting for 18 years has been nothing more than a prison.
I smile to myself, my ethereal lips parting a little as I stretch my ghostly arms out to my sides, breathing in my newfound freedom. 18 years was long enough it seems, as now I am free of my corporeal bondage and it feels like I’m closer to my true self than I have ever been.
What happens to me next I can only describe by saying that I have felt this way so many times before, but only in a dream. I am hovering above the clouds, my skin kissed by their dewy fluff, the sunlight bathing my skin, burning me in all my ethereal glory, each second the light growing brighter. My stomach drops, falling as whatever is keeping me suspended in the light of God, or what I suppose to be God vanishes and I plummet spectacularly with heart stopping abruption, backwards through the sky. The sun is setting behind me as I silhouette before it, a tiny speck, burning and flailing, descending toward the ocean below.
I hit the water with a hard, sobering slap that immerses me in an alien world. I wonder immediately why I am not struggling for breath but rather breathe in the water as if it is air. I guess I really am dead. The phytoplankton give a viridescence to the water and a thickness like jelly which stabilises my fall. I can see each one moving, hovering, and twitching in miniscule detail that only brings home the desperate state in which they exist.
Below I see the darkness, the endless depths of the ocean opening up like abyssal jaws before me, ready to swallow me whole. I’m about to scream, terror eating at my chest, tightening around my lungs which are no longer filled with air, but water.
Then I hear it. An undeniably hollow haunting call that I know, that I have heard before. A whale, an orca I think, comes closer to me with razor sharp teeth and a massive body encased in black and white, materialising through the blue hue that surrounds me in every direction. I feel the water move sensuously around me as this beautiful creature approaches, all the time whispering to me in whale song:
“Welcome …” The voice is female, eerie and alluring though the lips of this mighty animal do not move. Her black and deeply soulful eyes meet with mine and I feel myself drawn to her. I cannot fear her large presence despite what I know to be true about the nature of killer whales. It turns and I see that Greek letters have been grooved into its skin making milk white impressions through the black of its blubber. I smile anxiously, allowing my ethereal palm to glide over the nose of this magnificent killer. As my flesh glides along the smooth surface, I feel peace encase me, my heart rate returns to normal, and I relax.
Now, rather than fearing the depths beneath me I focus on the azure light that filters in from above.
“Thank you.” I say simply feeling so complete in that moment that I cannot hope to hide the grin that is replacing the initial fear of this unnatural experience.
“Come.” The orca whispers again, she appears to be smiling too.
“Where?” I ask, my voice smooth as silk. I am no longer trying to work out how I am speaking or breathing under the water’s surface, relinquishing to the fact that in this world very little makes sense.
“Let me show you the world’s oceans.” She commands and without further question, the whale turns and I glide with her off into the world’s deep waters.
We begin with the Atlantic Ocean, cold winters and warm summers that move the life within, stirring it up from the depths. Octopi and squid teem through the waters being picked off by dolphin that playfully dart through their numbers, picking off the weak, carrying out the toil of evolution. I see the vast shoals of fish, tuna, herring, and sardines packed together, a family clinging together for survival. We move, flying into warmer waters as only seconds pass us. These waters are familiar, or at least I thought they were. They should be. The Pacific brings reefs in a spectrum of vivaciousness that eats at my soul. How have I lived so close to the ocean all these years and never known? How could I be so blind? How could I have wanted to try to study and analyse something this complex, so breath-taking, to reduce it down to numbers on a page with no experience of the life within? This now seems absurd. The ocean has shown itself to be nothing if not unquantifiable and I feel my fear fade as this fact sinks in. The sea wasn’t something you studied; it was something you breathed in and out, something that became you, something that called out to you from deep within your blood. The sea became you and you became it. I knew now that there was nothing to measure, no graph or chart that could display or even begin to understand its realty.
Sharks prowl before me now, majestic and strong with gaping mouths, flat heads and power that can be unleashed in a split second; they cannot rest or falter, they must keep swimming, keep moving forward. I’m not scared of them which surprises me, instead I understand them and they leave me awe-struck with appreciation.
Even the tiniest fish, dancing a cautious ballet of camouflage and inert undetectable movement gather my respect. The sea is not only beautiful, but it has vitality and a savagery that can never be questioned. I know this now. My eyes are wide and my skin is flushed at the continual beating of the water against its alabaster smoothness. I feel more alive than ever as I watch a group of nautilus jellyfish floating effortlessly within an aquamarine mist. They are ancient, complex, and make me want to cry at my own insignificance.
ORION
The change is pulling at me. From deep within my blood and as inevitable as the changing tide, I feel its hold on me. The sun is causing the moisture on the surface of my skin to bubble and I wince. I catch Azure out of the corner of my eye as the dark misty illusion fades that held Callie and I as our kiss consumed us. I turn on my heel, to demand an explanation of my blood.
“Azure! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” I bite out the words, ignoring my skin’s complaint at the sun.
“What do you think? I’m turning her. You should be thanking me.” She says standing, both feet on the sand.
“Don’t make me hurt you. I know you’re my sister but that doesn’t mean I won’t kill you.” I growl, rage clouding my vision. I’ve never felt this rage before, this pounding in my blood. Is this love? This incessant feral need to protect what is mine above all else? Azure laughs.
“You won’t kill me. You can barely muster a gust these days. Waiting has made you soft old man.” She purrs the words, standing stark nude before me, black scales rippling in and out of existence on her skin. I always wondered how Psirens do that … change at will. It disgusts me, this flitting between forms. As though her calling were no more than a costume in a game to be played.
“Get away from us. Or I will move you out of the way.” The feeling of my calling tugging within me is becoming desperate. I look Callie in the face before I move her, placing her body onto the ground, ready to clear the path I need back to the sea. I swiftly release the knife from her back, pulling it steadily from h
er skin. I stand and raise my hands, power and rage flowing from my core as I look at her defenceless beneath me. A gust of air musters and shoots forth, rushing Azure like a wall of solid brick. She stumbles back and I watch Caedes coming up behind her, his red scales rippling around his torso as he fights them back under the light of the sun. They barely ever come on land and I know why. They know we will fight them back to the depths from which they came.
I rush another wall of hard, cold morning air toward them both, dragging them in a gust of sand back to the waves. I stand erect, keeping half an eye on the girl at my feet and clap my palms together, engulfing us in a dome of air that continuously flows, creating a protective barrier. I scoop up Callie as I see Azure and Caedes retreat to the sea. I need to leave a message, a message that this girl is not, nor will she ever be, an acceptable target.
I breathe out relaxing and let the protective dome slip away from us. Hoisting Callie over one shoulder to free up my left arm I throw the ritual dagger and smile as it hits my sister directly between the shoulder blades. I continue moving forward to the ocean’s waters, examining the girl in my arms. This precious cocoon that held her essence, preparing her for this moment for so many years, truly is breath-taking even now. I reach up and gently close each eyelid on the now glassy turquoise eyes of the girl I have waited several lifetimes for. I should have known there would be competition for possession of her precious soul, I realise now the last of our kind should have been watched far more carefully. This girl is perhaps not only the signal that there is a great change on the horizon, but also that everything is changing for the better. I sigh to myself as I look down at her lifeless form once more. She is going to be so beautiful, stunning even. I stare into the burning sunlight as the change overtakes me. It is then and only then that I plunge into the waves, saving myself from the light of day and delving deep into the world which I call home.
The Kiss That Killed Me (The Tidal Kiss Trilogy Book 1) Page 11
