My Ex's Wedding: A Fake Boyfriend Romance

by Annabelle Costa

Chapter 37

  Nellie

  It’s funny how you can go from having a great time at a party to feeling like you want to burst into tears.

  Alex hates me. I could see in his face he thought all the affection I’d shown toward him was some kind of act. Even the kiss. I don’t understand how he could think that kiss was fake. I can understand maybe thinking a generic kiss was fake. But not that kiss. That kiss was the most intense kiss of my life, and I could tell from his face he thought so too. That kiss was fireworks and earthquakes and tsunamis. How could he think that kiss wasn’t real?

  Five minutes ago, I would have said I was falling in love with Alex Warner.

  Now…

  I don’t know what to think anymore.

  I need to let him cool off, then I’ll try to explain. Except the worst part is I don’t know what to say. He’s right—it’s my fault Parker found out he was paying for me to be here. And while I like Alex a lot, I still don’t know what to do. I spoke with Blake, but it’s not like I wowed him so much in two minutes that he’s willing to give me a break without Parker intervening. I need Parker.

  Am I really considering giving up my one shot to earn a living as a comedian? I’ve been working toward this for six years with hardly any progress. My career is in the shitter. This opportunity could be life-changing.

  Then again, so could me and Alex.

  God, why is life so complicated?

  “Hey.” I feel a hand on my shoulder. I whirl around and find Blake Howard standing behind me. “Everything okay?”

  I’d been pretty excited when Blake Howard approached me at the banquet table. He’s got that Vegas look to him, with his slicked-back hair and painfully expensive clothing, but he wasn’t creepy at all. He started asking me what clubs I’d performed at in New York and mentioned a club he owned that was recently written up in the Times as one of the “places to be seen.” That was when Doug appeared at my side and told me Alex wanted to leave.

  “Fine,” I lie.

  “Was that guy your boyfriend?” Blake asks me.

  “Yes,” I say. Even if Parker knows the truth, nobody else needs to know.

  “And that other guy was his brother?” he asks. “The one in the wheelchair?”

  I stare at him a moment, confused. That’s when I realize it: he assumed between the two of them, Doug was my boyfriend.

  Before I can correct him, Blake says, “Your boyfriend seems like a really good guy. I mean, just because his brother is… what’s the word? Developmentally disabled? Anyway, it’s nice of him to bring him out here and let him have some fun.”

  My mouth falls open. I don’t even know where to begin. But I know Alex would hate this conversation if he were here. He mentioned people sometimes made the assumption that his cognition was impaired because he was in a wheelchair, and in the short time I’d known him, I’ve seen the way people speak over him, like he can’t understand what’s being said. It boggles my mind. But I have to be nice to this guy—I can’t tell him off and wreck my chances, just because he made a stupid assumption. I’ll explain it to him, but in a nice way.

  “Anyway,” Blake continues, “I’m glad you stayed.” He winks at me. “Maybe you can forget about your boyfriend for one night.”

  I smile tightly. “I don’t think so.”

  “Hey, did I tell you?” Blake snaps his fingers at a waiter carrying glasses of champagne. He removes two of the glasses and hands one over to me. “One of my regular comedians at Cabaret just quit. I’m looking for a replacement.”

  My heart skips a beat. “Really?”

  He nods. “Yeah, and I need to get someone pretty quick. Parker told me you put on a good show. I’d love to see it sometime.”

  Of course. And what Parker giveth, Parker can taketh away.

  Chapter 38

  Nellie

  “I’m so glad Parker and Isabelle are getting married. Finally, Parker’s found that one special person he can be an asshole to for the rest of his life.”

  Parker’s best man, a guy named Wesley with dark hair and a smarmy smile who I recognize from the sports bar, is making his toast for the “lucky” couple. Parker introduced me to Wesley as “Warner’s girlfriend.” When he heard that, Wesley started laughing and said, “How the hell does that work?” Before I could knee him in the groin, Parker told him I was the girl who poured the drink on his head that night, which made Wesley laugh even harder. So I forgave him.

  My mind isn’t in the game. I can’t stop thinking about Alex. How could he believe I sold him out that way to Parker? I saw the hurt in his eyes, and I know it’s going to take a lot to get him to forgive me. Will he ever believe a word I say ever again?

  And worse, what if we never have another kiss together like that kiss?

  Because Doug and Alex are gone, I somehow ended up sitting next to Blake for the dinner. It’s exhausting, because it means I have to be “on” for the entire dinner. Despite how awful I feel about everything, I need to pretend it’s all hunky-dory. I need this guy to like me. Maybe if I’m charming and hilarious enough, it won’t matter if Parker puts in a good word for me.

  And now Blake is laughing at Wesley’s toast. Why is he laughing at Wesley? He’s supposed to save all his laughs for me.

  “In all seriousness, I’m really happy Parker and Isabelle are getting married tomorrow morning,” Wesley goes on. “And I’m especially glad the wedding is early, because that way if it doesn’t work out, we won’t have wasted the whole day.”

  Blake laughs again. It’s not that funny! But maybe his laughter has something to do with the three glasses of champagne he’s downed since we started talking. Also worrisome is the fact that I’ve drunk three glasses as well. I thought it would loosen me up, but instead, I’m getting tipsy.

  “In conclusion, I want to wish Parker and Isabelle the best of luck in their upcoming nuptials,” Wesley says. “And I hope they get so many presents, they won’t realize none of them are from me.”

  Blake laughs again and applauds with the rest of the room. I glance over at Parker, who has his arm around Isabelle’s shoulders. When he catches my eye, he winks at me. And I cringe.

  And now Parker is getting out of his seat. He’s walking across the room in our direction, a big grin on his face. I hold my breath, hoping he’ll pass us by. But instead, he stops right in front of us and puts a hand on my back.

  “Nellie!” he says. “What happened to Alex? Where’d he go?”

  I glare at him. He’s the asshole who set Alex off. If not for him, I’d at least have Alex’s support right now. But no, he’s back in his hotel room, hating me. All because of Parker. “He wasn’t feeling well. Doug took him back to the room.”

  “That’s a shame.” Parker pulls a frown. “I’m surprised he didn’t make you come back to the room with him.” He lowers his voice to a volume Blake probably can’t hear. “Isn’t that one of your duties?”

  That’s it. I throw down my napkin, my heart pounding. “Listen here, you—”

  “Blake!” Parker subverts my rant, pushing past me to the guy I’ve been chatting up all evening. “How are you doing, man? I’m so glad you made it!”

  “Hey, Parker!” Blake grins at him, then stands up so the two guys can do some sort of elaborate guy-handshake slash half-hug. “Shit, it’s great to see you again!”

  “I’m really glad you could make it,” Parker says. “And I’m glad you and Nellie found each other. She’s great, isn’t she?”

  Blake laughs. “Yeah, although I don’t have enough data yet to hire her.”

  “Yet.” Parker’s blue eyes meet mine. “But I’m telling you, she’s great.” He winks again. “She’ll blow you away. Right, Nellie?”

  I grit my teeth. I get to my feet, having decided something important. I pick up my nearly empty champagne glass and clink my fork against it. Everybody keeps talking. I clink harder.

  “Excuse me!” I call out. “I’d like to say a few words!”

  Parker is looking at me cur
iously. So is Blake Howard. Actually, the whole room is staring at me. Nobody even knows who I am. I’m certainly a not great friend of Isabelle and Parker who would traditionally make a toast.

  “Hello, everyone,” I say. “I was hoping to say a few words about Parker and Isabelle and their upcoming nuptials.”

  Oh God, why is this crowd so quiet? They’re never this quiet in the bars or clubs—there’s always a low buzz of activity, no matter what. My hands are shaking slightly, but I feel a dull determination in the back of my throat.

  “I’m not married,” I begin. I smile apologetically at the crowd. “I haven’t met the right guy yet, unfortunately. Plus, it seems like marriage is really hard. I mean, I’ve got a friend who’s married and says it’s a walk in the park, but I’m not sure what park she’s talking about. Jurassic Park, maybe?”

  There are a few titters from the crowd. If this were one of my acts, I’d be bombing it right now

  “I only had the privilege of meeting Isabelle for the first time yesterday,” I say, looking across the room at the bride-to-be, looking absolutely beautiful (no, spectacular) in a black dress with her blond hair piled on top of her head. “We got to hang out a little today. And she’s actually…”

  She’s great.

  I can see why Alex liked her. I can see why he wanted to break up this wedding. I can see why he felt he had to come here to keep Isabelle from ruining her life.

  I can’t sleep with Parker. I can’t believe I was even considering it for a split second. It doesn’t matter what it will do for my struggling career—I can’t do it. I’d be the worst person in the world.

  No, I need to finish what Alex started.

  “She’s actually making a huge mistake,” I say. I glance at Parker, whose eyes have narrowed. He’s giving me a warning look, but I don’t care. “She was engaged to a great guy—one who nearly died trying to save her life, but she ended it with him. And even so, he came all the way here to try to keep her from ruining her life. And he…” Oh my God, I’m definitely slurring now. I can’t help it though. “He’s amazing. The best guy I ever met. He’s got the nicest gray eyes I’ve ever seen and he looks so good in a suit. And he can count all the cards during blackjack. And he loves cooking shows on TV, even though he burns water—or he used to. And he loves standup comedy and he believes that someone might want to make a wax statue of me someday. And he…” I close my eyes for a moment and the world lurches, but I push away the dizzy sensation. “He kisses so good. So, so good. Just really…” I swallow hard. Oh Lord, I need some coffee. “Isabelle, you were nuts to leave him. But that was your decision.”

  Parker leans over me, his hot breath on my cheek. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Nellie?” he hisses in my ear.

  I ignore him. May as well go for broke.

  “Isabelle.” I’m looking right at her now. She’s too far away and I can’t read the expression on her face. “Please don’t marry Parker. Don’t do this to yourself. He’s not a good guy.”

  Parker lets out an overly loud laugh. “Okay, Nellie, very funny. I think you’ve had a few too many of those glasses of champagne…”

  “Isabelle,” I say. “Parker told me last night that if I slept with him, he’d help me get a job from Blake.”

  Well, the crowd isn’t so quiet anymore. Isabelle stands up, her pretty face ashen. I look over at Parker, whose cheeks are turning purple. There’s a scary looking vein bulging out in his neck.

  “That’s a lie, Izzy!” he yells. He gives me a murderous look. “Look at her—she’s drunk off her ass. She’s just making stuff up!”

  I glare at him. “You told me the best thing about marrying Isabelle is she travels all the time, so you could mess around behind her back.”

  “You crazy bitch,” Parker hisses at me. “What the hell is wrong with you? Here I am, giving you this great opportunity—”

  “If I fuck you!”

  Parker looks like he wants to hit me. “Well, you’re already fucking a cripple for money—who knew you had any standards?”

  And then I take my glass of champagne and I dump it right over Parker Ashmont’s head.

  Chapter 39

  Alex

  “Holy shit!”

  I glance over at my brother, who is sitting on his side of the hotel room, his laptop balanced on his lap as he lets the explicative fly. I’m propped up with pillows, watching television. After we left the rehearsal dinner, Doug ordered room service for the two of us and fed me my dinner. That was depressing—it made me think of how Nellie and I ordered room service for lunch, and she fed me my meal. Except when she did it, it was sexy. When Doug feeds me, it’s not sexy. It’s a chore.

  That was the great thing about Nellie. She made me feel like the things she did to help me weren’t chores. She made it seem like she enjoyed feeding me and that my wheelchair was a fun mode of transportation.

  Too bad it was all an act.

  Doug asked me if I wanted to go out again, but my answer was a resounding no. So he brushed my teeth, undressed me down to my underwear, and got me into bed. That’s where I’ve been ever since, mostly just watching TV. I’ve got shit I should probably be doing for work, but I can’t focus on that now. I need to zone out and forget about tonight.

  I need to forget how Nellie kissed me and got me thinking she liked me. And then I found out she told Parker all about our little arrangement.

  So fucking humiliating. I can’t believe she did that to me.

  I can’t believe I was such an idiot.

  “Alex.” Doug has slid the laptop off his legs. “There’s something you’ve got to see on here. It’s a YouTube video.”

  “No, thanks,” I mutter.

  I’m not in the mood for the latest viral video of some kid waving a lightsaber like he’s Yoda. I can’t focus on that. All I can think about is whether Nellie is going to sleep with Parker. I can’t get the thought out of my head.

  “It’s from the rehearsal dinner,” Doug says. He plops his laptop down next to me, so I can see it. “Someone recorded it.”

  Okay. He’s got my attention.

  I look down at the screen and there she is—Nellie Levy. Wearing the sexy dress that nearly got me drooling when I first saw her in it. She’s standing there with a champagne glass in her hand, swaying slightly like she’s had a few too many. She’s giving a toast, but it’s not like any rehearsal dinner toast I’ve ever seen.

  “He’s amazing,” she’s saying. “He’s got the nicest gray eyes I’ve ever seen and he looks so good in a suit. And he can count all the cards during blackjack. And he loves cooking shows on TV, even though he burns water—or he used to. And he loves standup comedy and he believes that someone might want to make a wax statue of me someday.”

  My mouth falls open. What’s going on here?

  Is she talking about me?

  “He kisses so good. So, so good.” She shuts her eyes when she says it and a chill goes down my damaged spine. “Just really…”

  Oh Christ, she’s talking about me.

  “Isabelle, you were nuts to leave him,” she says, shaking her head at the camera.

  I glance up at Doug. “Where did this come from?”

  “One of the Coleman guys sent it to me,” Doug says. “Hang on, it gets better.”

  “Isabelle,” Nellie pleads on the screen. “Please don’t marry Parker. Don’t do this to yourself. He’s not a good guy.”

  I can hear Parker in the background, trying to get her to quit talking. But she’s not having it. She blurts out, “Parker told me last night that if I slept with him, he’d help me with Blake.”

  “Holy shit!” I cry. “I can’t believe she said that!”

  Parker is losing his shit. He’s usually so damn calm and collected, but it’s clear this speech has thrown him. “She’s drunk!” he’s yelling. “She’s just making stuff up!” He glares at Nellie. “What the hell is wrong with you? Here I am, giving you this great opportunity—”

  “If I fuck y
ou!”

  The look on Parker’s face would be funny if I wasn’t suddenly terrified he was going to hit her. But he doesn’t hit her. Instead, he gets in her face and says, “Well, you’re already fucking a cripple for money—who knew you had any standards?”

  Ouch.

  I can’t believe that ended up on a YouTube video for all the world to see.

  Nellie gives him such a murderous look that now I’m certain she’s going to hit him. But she doesn’t. She raises her champagne glass and pours it right over his golden hair.

  Epic.

  The video goes on for another minute of Parker and Nellie screaming at each other until someone drags him away. I stare at the black screen after the video ends, unable to comprehend what I just saw. Nellie gave up an opportunity of a lifetime. She poured her drink on Parker’s head in what will probably become a viral YouTube video.

  She’s not going to sleep with him.

  “Do you think the wedding is still on?” I ask Doug.

  His phone buzzes with a text. He picks it up and frowns at the screen. “Believe it or not, it is. They talked it out, and they’re still going to go through with it.”

  Great. After all that, Isabelle is still going to marry Parker. Well, I can’t say I didn’t do everything in my power to stop it. If she’s miserable, it’s her funeral.

  I jerk my head up at a knock on our door. Doug climbs off the bed to go answer it, but I can tell right away who it is by the sound of her voice. I’d know that voice anywhere.

  It’s Nellie.

  She enters the room slowly, wobbling a bit on her heels. She’s had too much to drink tonight—I wonder if she’ll remember it all tomorrow. I hope she doesn’t wake up and regret giving up her chance.

  “Hey,” I say to her.

  She smiles weakly. “Hey.”

  I look her over. Her black dress has become rumpled during the evening, and her lipstick is smudged. She’s swaying on her feet as she stands before me. Doug scratches at the back of his neck. “Listen,” he says, “I’m going to go next door. I’ll let you two… you know, have some privacy.”